Name: Bobb Lee Eats Kitty Boogers & Much More | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-07-23T16:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobb Lee Eats Kitty Boogers & Much More | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobb Lee Eats Kitty Boogers & Much More | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-23. Transcript available.

We're both friends.
Last night, you know, Alone, season three with Kalilah.
No, the new season of, yeah, the new episode that came out for season seven.
And I had my mouth open.
Because when I watch like this, I have my mouth open.
Because it's incredible.
Because I smoke so much.
No, I smoke so much.
I think just my mouth just opens.
Trying to get oxygen in my body.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And then she stuck her finger in my mouth.
And I felt like there was something in my mouth.
And I go, what was in my mouth?
And she giggled.
And I go, what are you giggling about?
She said, I put Bojo's eye booger in your mouth.
So Bojo is my youngest cat.
Oh, my God.
I know, I know.
And she, I know.
And he gets these, right, Jules?
He gets these thick-ass eye boogers.
Oh, I'm going to throw up.
I know.
And they turn black.
Jules, right?
Back me up.
They turn black.
So she puts Bojo's eye booger in my mouth.
And you know what?
You know, when you have a cat's eye booger in your mouth, there's a sensation
that goes over your body.
And I can only equate it to another sensation, which is rage.
Right?
So what I did was I dug in my nose, because I have so much, because I smoke and
I sleep with my mouth open.
I have a booger fest just deep in the canals.
You're the booger king.
I am, aren't I not?
And I dug in a tricolor.
Where it's dark, yellow, and clear or something?
Oh, red.
Oh, that's not good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's bad.
I call it the tricolor.
It's yellowish, clear.
There's dark portions.
Black almost.
Almost black.
Yeah.
And streaks of red.
Because of blood.
Yeah, and it's, you know, so it's one of those ones with a heart tip.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So it's not slimy, but it's basically, you pull out the heart tip of it.
And it's softened.
No, there's like yellow and red entrails.
It's great.
And so the heart tip is between my fingernail here.
Oh, man.
And the entrails of the fucking booger is coming down like this.
Fans are loving this one.
What did you do with it?
Why?
What did you do with it?
You think I should stop talking about it?
No, no, no, no.
Fans are loving it.
I just imagine some guy, people, people, people send, people tell us like,
I always watch you guys when I'm eating breakfast in the morning, Monday
mornings.
Just fucking, just having some eggs and toast.
I don't care.
I don't care.
What did you do with it?
I tried to stick it in her mouth.
No.
She put a fucking cat's eye burger in my mouth.
No?
No, no.
I know, I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just the duality of it.
But then what's the, what's the proper retaliation?
You hit her as hard as you can.
Yeah, I did that.
No.
And she, and so she grabs my hand.
She still blocks you.
Yeah, and it's almost in her mouth, right?
And I almost get it in her lip, but then she looks at me and she goes,
if you, that goes into my mouth.
Yeah.
We're done.
Yeah.
I know those ultimatums where it's like, I'm not playing around anymore.
Yeah, we're done.
So I stuck it, right?
Mm-hmm.
So I have this glass on the side of my end table, the table.
I have this glass for my water.
Mm-hmm.
And I stuck it at the tip of it.
Oh, my God.
It's still there now.
Bob.
What?
But it's your glass.
Yeah, it's my booger.
It was already inside my body.
I know, so get it out.
Get it away.
Get it going.
No, no, no, no.
If I stick it back inside my body, who cares?
It's where it belongs.
What's so angry?
No.
Yeah.
Boogers are gross to me.
Why?
I don't know.
I don't know why.
It's just the yucky.
I don't like that stuff.
You've never eaten it?
Do you eat your boogers?
Do you really eat your boogers?
I have.
When was the last time you ate a booger?
When was the last time you ate a booger?
You know, it's.
When was the last time.
Let me go back, though, for a second.
Just give me a second.
I want an answer.
I will give you an answer.
I want to give you a fucking answer.
All right?
But I'm going to tell you something.
Yeah.
There are things in people's lives, private lives, right?
What you do in secret, right?
And you're in your privacy.
Booger eating is not a thing that people do in their private lives.
Private lives is like I have too many drinks at night by myself.
No, no, no, no.
There are things people do that, oh, no one's around.
You look around first.
I don't eat.
I've never eaten a booger where I haven't done this first, where I looked
around.
And what does that mean?
You probably shouldn't do it.
Maybe.
Right.
But I don't want anyone to see me.
It's like if someone says the N-word and they go.
And they say it.
Right.
Because they know they're not supposed to.
That's the only reason you would look around.
Yeah, but mine was just based on embarrassment.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, you don't want to.
You're right.
I'm trying to justify it.
When was the last time you did it?
I don't know.
I don't.
Because I don't eat a booger and go.
Hmm.
That was a good one.
It happens enough that you don't remember.
What?
It happens enough that you don't remember.
It happens often enough that you don't remember.
Oh, in my lifetime, you're asking me?
It must happen regularly that you don't remember.
Yeah, I don't remember.
So maybe a couple of days ago.
No, I would have remembered a couple of days ago.
But.
Maybe a week or two.
Within the month.
Within the month.
Within the month.
Have you ever eaten a booger root?
No.
No.
No.
Never.
Never.
But have you ever pulled out a booger and rolled it for a while?
Yeah, I've rolled it for a while.
So, what does a booger taste like to you?
I don't know.
I've never tasted it.
What do I think it tastes like?
Yeah.
Mucus.
What's the flavor, though?
What's the flavor?
Yeah.
Funyuns?
No.
It's salty.
Okay, funyuns are very salty.
That's exactly what they are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like onion-y chips.
Salty.
You've eaten a booger before, man.
No, man.
I rolled over.
Yeah, you've eaten a fucking booger before in your life.
Swear to God I have not.
That's ridiculous!
I would never.
The look of it is gross to me.
I've tried everything off of my body.
I mean, I wouldn't even eat, like, mushrooms until I was, you know, 30.
Sperm.
Never.
You've never tasted your own sperm?
Nope.
Well, I'm either.
Yeah, right.
I haven't either.
I wonder what-
You've tasted your own sperm.
And other people's.
Yep.
Don't be like that.
Is that not true?
Don't say it like that.
Tell me, is it true?
Have I tasted other people's cum?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
Bad friends would like to apologize for the preceding segment.
Please watch the following clip to heal any trauma this may have caused.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.