Name: Pam Anderson Is A Lifeguard In Heaven | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-07-25T21:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pam Anderson Is A Lifeguard In Heaven | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pam Anderson Is A Lifeguard In Heaven | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-25. Transcript available.

We're Bob friends!
Listen, um, I've been thinking about the Lord so much as of late.
Tell me.
Hi, Jesus here.
Me and my dad are just chilling here at the Heaven Super Disco waiting for
Bobby.
I can already see his gangrene-ridden foot between the pearly gates.
As for Andrew, I'm sorry.
No gingers allowed.
Them's the rules.
B.S.
Rudy, lay down those knives.
Jesus out.
Well, the Jesus, the Jesus, I call it the Jesus, by the way.
You call it the Jesus?
Yeah, because there's only one.
There is only one.
Yeah.
There can be only one.
There can only be one.
He's like the Neo of the sky.
Uh-huh.
You know how Neo was, you know, the one in the Matrix?
Yep.
Jesus is the one in the sky.
Fact.
And there's no one else that can beat him.
That's right.
His powers outlast and outpower all the other powerful ones.
You better believe it, baby boy.
Zeus.
He can destroy Zeus.
Uh-huh.
He can destroy, um, what else is another, um, Medusa.
Yeah, Medusa.
Is it Medusa one?
Medusa, is Medusa a Greek god?
Yes.
Sure.
Why not?
Yeah.
Because I, all I know is from, um, Clash of the Titans.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
He can destroy the Kraken.
What about, what's some other Greek gods?
Um, Pyrenees.
He's a good one.
Pyrenees.
Pegasus.
Pegasus?
Uh-huh.
Is Pegasus a god?
Yes.
Yeah, he's a horsey, huh?
He's a horse god.
Anyway, Jesus is the best.
And, um, I believe, you know, I had a spiritual awakening this week, and I've
been reading
the Bible, and, um, the Bible, I know what Ahasana is saying.
And, um, you know, I believe that he died for our sins, that he's the
manifestation of
the real God.
Yeah.
He's not just the son.
The Holy Ghost and Jesus and, um, God are one.
They're one thing.
They're all one thing.
Right.
But Jesus is the flesh form of the God.
Mm-hmm.
The ghost, Holy Ghost is the ghost form.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's like a transformer God.
This guy can do everything.
You know, he's like, you know, how transformers can turn into a car and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, but they're the same one, right?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So, you know, that's what God does.
Jesus does.
Jesus.
But Jesus is God?
Jesus is God.
So, but God, but God is the, is God, is God separate from Jesus, or are they
the same
thing?
They're the same exact thing, but I just told you they're the same, but
different form.
They're the different form of the same thing.
So, why do they have two different names?
Because, um, that's true, huh?
Mm-hmm.
I've never thought of it that way.
Yeah.
Because, um, the landy mammals of our planet, which is humans.
Us.
And via, also, um, elephants, or mammals.
Elephants, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, um, the sea pups.
Oh, sea pups.
Yeah, sea pups are mammals.
Oh, sea pups.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That, um, so, you know, the land creatures, they need things to be, um, defined.
Uh-huh.
That's why.
And so they just need, okay.
In the sky world, which is heaven, in the sky world, um, they don't have those,
you know,
they don't put people in boxes, and they don't have divisions and words for
different things.
Do you think when you get to heaven, there's no gender, no sex, no class?
No, no.
It's gonna be, what's up, you?
Like, if I ran into Pamela Anderson in heaven.
You sure she's going up there?
I'm pretty sure.
Okay.
And her tits are.
Whoa!
Her tits will definitely be there.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd say, what's up, you?
What's up, you?
And she'll be like, hey, yeah, I'm just, you know, lifeguarding.
Lifeguarding?
That's what she does.
In heaven?
I'm sure.
Is there a pool up there?
Maybe.
All right.
There's everything up there, by the way.
Oh, really?
Have you been?
Yeah.
Because it's like, you know, it's like the matrix.
Let's go back to the matrix.
It's like you can manifest in heaven when you're an angel and stuff, any kind
of world that
you want, I believe.
I think that's, I believe that to be true.
Yeah.
Whatever you want it to be.
It's there.
Mountaintops.
Some would say heaven is right here on earth.
It's not.
This is hell.
This is hell?
Sure.
Los Angeles is hell?
No.
This planet.
Have you ever been to Montana?
Oh, it's beautiful.
Pretty beautiful.
Yeah.
That might be heaven.
Yeah, that's heaven.
Maybe.
But let's go back to my Christianity, maybe.
Sure.
Why not?
When was the last time you went to church?
Sunday.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
What's Korean Christian church like?
Hello.
Welcome.
Thank you.
Yes.
Right now, I talk to you about Jesus Christ.
I wrote it.
If it said ward and slaver behind the pulpit, how hard?
How hard would I laugh?
No, if you put a Korean town on Vermont, right?
There's a church that says R-O-R-D-A-N, right?
Yeah.
S-A-B-O-R.
S-A-B-O-R.
S-A-B-O-R.
S-A-B-O-R.
Yeah, yeah.
Ward and S-A-B-O-R.
But anyway, so I believe in the Christian rules as well.
Like I believe in, they shall not abort.
They shall not kill.
Abort.
Another topic we probably can't talk about.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.