Name: The Boys Discuss Asian Facts | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-09-24T16:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Boys Discuss Asian Facts | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Boys Discuss Asian Facts | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-24. Transcript available.

We're bad friends.
It's bad.
But you know what's interesting about Koreans and all Asians is no matter how
out of shape you are,
you can still squat all the way down where your asshole's just like a
millimeter off the floor and smoke a cigarette.
All Chinese and Asian men, all people from Asia can squat down really low and
smoke cigarettes on their bricks.
Yeah, I know.
You know, Chris 100% believed you were Chinese.
He was convinced.
He was like, there's no way you're Korean.
He doesn't believe it.
I didn't believe it.
He needs proof.
He thinks he's like, there's no way.
He said all Asians are from China.
He thinks everything branched from China.
No one is originated from anywhere but China.
Just like I believe all whites are from Germany.
I just want to say this.
That's probably true.
To make an argument against that, the squatting and the smoking.
Yes.
So before the Westerners took over fucking America, right, introduced them to
like fast food and, you know, and our community.
Before the Westerners took over America or Asia?
No, when the Westerners took over Asia, like in terms of corporations going in
cultural, going in there, right?
Right, right.
You know, generally Asians were small.
Right.
Still are.
Still are.
I know.
All right.
But no, because now you, the average height of a Korean, right, is what?
A male is like 5'4".
No.
5'5"?
5'8", 5'9".
Really?
Do you have proof on that?
Because I feel like it's on, it's about 5'5", 5'6".
You're so insulting.
No, I'm being serious.
I'll bring it up.
Can you finish my point though?
I'm going to guess, by the way, I just want to put in a guess.
I'm going to put in a 5'7".
5'7".
I'm going to put.
Average height of Korean male.
170 centimeters.
That's tiny.
170.
That's like right here.
That's like a little tiny.
Yeah, it's like a trophy.
You look like a trophy.
What is that in feet?
170 centimeters in feet.
I would say, what is a centimeter?
100 centimeters make an inch.
Is that right?
Yeah.
And then 12 inches.
12 inches is a foot.
That's 5'5".
170 centimeters is 5'5".
I was fucking right, bitch.
All right, but Andrew.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Who's a bitch now?
Bitch.
Let me finish though.
Let me finish though.
Please.
Go ahead.
Let me finish.
Right?
But probably 20 years ago, the average height was probably 5'3".
Less.
20 years?
All right.
So what I'm just saying though.
And now we have Asians that are much taller.
Like if you look at Korean soap operas, whether they're 6'2".
Those guys are genetically modified.
Yao Ming was made in a lab.
Exactly.
Yao Ming was made in a lab.
Yao Ming was made from the same fucking Petri dish they made coronavirus in.
So Yao Ming is like a Franken-chink.
Yeah.
Yao Ming Franken-chink.
Say it.
Cliff it.
He's saying it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's bring it back.
Yao Ming Franken-chink.
Right?
So I'm regular.
That's what it is.
Here you go.
Here.
My point is this.
But Yao Ming, right?
The reason why we could squat like that is because we're shorter dudes, right?
Yes.
Right?
But Yao Ming can't do that.
Yes, he can.
Yes, he can.
No, he can't do that.
They all have, all the Asians have unbelievably loose hip flexor muscles.
Because they need to get down to smoke cigarettes.
It's part of what they need to do.
Look at that.
Look at how low he is.
There's him and Bobby Lee right there.
Look at how low he is.
Look at how low his ass hovers against the floor.
I know, but that's not what he's saying.
Every human can do that.
No, they cannot.
No, but not like that.
Not like that.
Listen.
Go ahead.
Stand right there and do it.
Check, check, check this, all right?
Okay.
You're looking at this, all right?
Yeah.
Yao Ming's going, go over there.
To the little girl.
Right?
And the little girl's going, hold the pose.
I know Frankenstein.
Right?
He's like, I am.
And before I destroy you, you go over there.
Right?
That's what he's doing.
Go over there.
You're right?
Right?
But this, check this out, right?
Yeah.
This is, he's not doing this.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Down, right?
This is different.
Then go over there.
Yeah, but it's still the same athletic muscles.
Look at the ability to do that.
Yao Ming can squat.
Yeah.
Even the fact that you could just do that.
He can't go all the way down.
No, dude.
It's a...
There he is smoking.
There it is.
Smoking a cigarette.
There it is smoking against the magic.
And what's he saying?
Tao is she.
She who is she.
She who is she.
Look at Dwight Howard's arms.
Jesus fucking Christ, dude.
Oh, my God.
Muggsy Bogues.
Look at Muggsy Bogues.
Muggsy Bogues.