Name: Tom Segura Discusses Leaving LA | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-10-08T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom Segura Discusses Leaving LA | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom Segura Discusses Leaving LA | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-08. Transcript available.

We're bad friends.
Do you want to talk about moving, Tom?
It's not a done deal or anything, you know?
We're just, like, very much...
Bobby was worried.
Bobby said, why is everyone moving?
I'm worried that everyone is moving.
Yeah.
Okay, because I think I'm going to put a stop to it.
You know, I just...
Everyone.
I don't know anybody that's not except for this fuck, right?
And Sebastian Maniscalco.
They might leave, too.
Now he's talking about, hey, maybe Denver.
Denver's awesome.
Yeah, I love Denver.
I love Denver, too.
Yeah, but I just fucking bought a house.
I can't move yet.
Why?
Because I like where I live.
Okay, that's fair, then.
I know, but I don't want everyone to move.
But now you need to.
I was looking at houses in Austin.
And?
There's a couple I like.
There you go.
And if I go there, I don't know what to do.
Because, you know, here's the thing.
It takes me...
I'm like an animal.
You know, I'm like a snow leopard.
Yeah.
I have to memorize everything.
Would Kalilah move?
I don't think she wants to either, because her family's here.
Her whole family's here?
Yeah, her sister and her mom and stuff.
You know what I mean?
That's her family.
They all live in L.A., though.
They live in L.A.
And it's like, you know...
Yeah, that makes sense.
And my friends are moving.
You know, I don't know Joe...
I love Joe Rogan.
I think it's his fault, though.
No, I don't really think so.
Because this exodus...
I mean, you know, you can point to him.
But there's a huge exodus outside of, like, our world.
You know what I mean?
New York and L.A. specifically.
Okay, let me ask you something.
What are the benefits?
Well, there's a couple of big ones.
Tell me.
Like, you want specifically Austin?
No, just tell me Austin and tell me why.
What are the benefits of moving out of L.A.?
Well, okay, so...
Taxes.
I mean, that's a big one, obviously.
There's zero state income tax.
Oh.
Whereas in California, we have the highest state income tax in the nation.
Not only that, we are now in a big deficit because of COVID.
And more than likely, when this new proposal hits the floor,
they'll raise the highest rate to a new highest rate.
Okay.
Okay?
They'll have three tiers of tax rate on them.
Okay.
Then there's other things like lifestyle, right?
So some people, you know, like, you can love wherever you live.
But, like, in, let's say, if you were going to Austin,
you would more than likely, if you looked at those houses,
have, like, bigger yards, maybe a bigger house, newer things like that.
That is true.
Less congestion, a little less people.
But a city like that offers a lot, right?
I mean, they have huge music scene.
They have great restaurants.
Great restaurants.
And they're groovy whites.
They're groovy whites.
Yeah.
As somebody that tours a lot,
it's definitely a lot easier to tour from the middle of the country
than the southwest corner.
That's true.
That's a good point.
You know, I mean, look, but the thing about cities is it's a feel thing.
You got to go and, like, you spend time, you know, in Denver or Nashville
or wherever you might go,
and it's a thing that you have to feel like you want to live there.
Like, like, Bobby, like,
Bobby said he was thinking about Portland.
And, you know, Portland might be right for you, Bob.
I feel like a very, a very strong Bob vibes when I'm in Portland.
I'll tell you the reason why Portland is not,
aside from, like, the radical,
the radical things that you were saying, you know?
What was I saying?
I was talking about how they've been protesting for, like,
170 days straight.
Yeah, I just like, in terms of weather, I like it.
And it's one of the worst weather,
one of the worst weather cities in the United States.
I just like rain.
I like the moodiness of the rain.
I like trees.
What about Seattle?
That too.
That would be a surprise as well.
No state income tax.
No state income tax at Seattle, right?
That's right.
But I'll tell you the benefits of L.A.
Okay.
Okay, for me.
Koreatown.
Big, big benefit?
Yeah, Koreatown.
I lived there.
Yeah, Koreatown.
First of all, we had Korean food last night.
How good was it?
It makes me cry.
It was so good.
How good?
Really good.
Really good.
Do you like Korean food?
Yeah.
More than Filipino food?
Maybe equal.
Equal.
Wow.
Yeah, wow.
See, thank you.
So Koreatown.
First of all, where am I going to go to a spa?
You don't think that, like...
Oh, so you think that Austin has a 24-hour...
with old Korean men washing my back?
No.
I need that.
I need old Korean men washing my shit.
You need that specifically.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I need Korean men...
How you doing, Bob?
You know what I mean?
I need that, right?
I need...
There's definitely some good Korean food.
So I need 24-hour Korean spa.
Okay.
I need Korean food 24-7.
I can get Korean food 24-7.
24-7 you can get there?
Oh, yeah.
I can go to Khodori.
That's a 24-hour, you know what I mean?
Why don't you go to the original Koreatown and go to Seoul?
Why don't you just move to Seoul?
That's a good...
That place has so much Korean shit.
It does?
Yeah.
I've heard.
I've heard.
Yes.
I've heard good things.
So why don't you move there?
Because I don't know anybody there, all right?
Why don't you step over...
But that's not just...
Oh, so secondly...
Let me finish, okay?
Why don't you step over the DNZ and go to the north and see what's going on
over there?
All right, so here's a third thing, all right?
Aside from Korean shit, all right?
I know right now you guys are reacting to the moment, which you should never do,
right?
People react to the moment.
Oh, man, the moment's crazy.
Comedy clubs aren't fucking up and grunting and whatnot, right?
This is a good point.
But they will, right?
Inevitably, they will, right?
Bobby's just mad that everyone is leaving L.A.
And he's building up this defense mechanism, which is talking shit about
everyone moving
because he's sad that everyone's leaving.
Yeah, but I understand that.
That makes sense.
That makes sense to me, you know?
Because he doesn't want to be in his little booger castle all alone.
Yeah.
He wants other people to still be in the city.
Well, change is scary and it's uncomfortable and...
It's so scary.
Yeah.
I'm so scared about it.
Are you going to tell...
Do you want to tell Tom?
Do you want to tell Tom that you guys...
You guys adopted a baby?
You guys adopted a little child?
What?