Name: BEST TITO DEBATE 2020 | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-11-04T01:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'BEST TITO DEBATE 2020 | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'BEST TITO DEBATE 2020 | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-04. Transcript available.

We're Bad Friends!
All right, good evening from the Bad Friends studio in Los Angeles, California.
I'm Fancy B, your moderator, and I'm welcoming to the first and only
Bad Friends: Best American Tito Debate of 2020 between Tito Bobby and Tito
Andrew.
The commission of very important debates have decided the format: four sections
of
approximately four minutes each, with one minute of interrupted opening
statements from each candidate.
For the record, the candidates have not agreed to respect any rules.
I have decided the topics and the questions,
and I can assure you none of the questions have been shared with any of the
candidates.
As a precaution, the candidates have agreed not to shake hands at the beginning
of the debate.
George has promised not to laugh, no noise, except for now when we welcome Tito
Bobby and Tito Andrew.
Thank you, thank you very much.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you, good to be here. Thank you.
So gentlemen, a lot of people have been waiting for this moment, so let's start.
Our first topic is house rules.
Tito Bobby, you have said you leave dirty plates everywhere, you have a drawer
full of ants,
and you leave boogers in your guest bedroom.
Tito Andrew, you have called your opponent disgusting and accused him of unsanitary
practices.
Yes.
You prefer to have plastified, unused furniture and spotless rooms.
Why are you right in your opponent, Ron? We start with you, Tito Bobby.
I am right because, as we know, life is hard.
For some of us, yes.
For most.
No, for you, for sure.
Well, for us that struggle, right, and know what humanity is about, and know
what hardship is.
You're rich.
He's been taking money from the Chinese for years.
No, no, no.
He's been taking money from the Chinese.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Explain the email.
Excuse me.
Explain the email.
Excuse me.
There's a little email that we have on file that says, that says you're taking
Chinese money.
You have to fucking unite and group together.
There is no sides.
There's no red or blue.
Oh, there's red and yellow.
We're just Americans.
No.
We're Americans.
Are you?
Where were you born?
I was born in San Diego, California.
Show me your passport.
How dare you.
I heard my passport.
I don't need a passport because I have a birth certificate.
Oh, show me that too.
Thank you so much.
Show me your birth certificate.
All right.
Folks, fake news.
How am I fake news?
Okay, you're the one who keeps unkept records of yourself.
You're late.
You were late to this debate.
You were late.
How?
What kind of person wants a Tito who's late to the debate?
Let me ask the question at hand.
Why don't we leave the questions up to the moderator?
Let me finish my point, sir.
Okay, go ahead.
Thank you.
All right.
Yeah, go ahead.
All right.
Will you shut up, man?
Life is hard.
Let me, honestly, can I finish without him interrupting?
Yes.
30 seconds.
How is that even 30 seconds?
What are you fucking interrupting me?
Here we go.
All right.
All right.
So let me just finish.
All right, sir.
Thank you.
Life is hard.
Okay.
And I know that when Jules leaves our house, right, she is going to be
confronted with
all kinds of elements, right?
And I want to be able to toughen her skin, right?
I want her to succeed and I want her to know what tough love is, et cetera, et
cetera.
So what I do is I put things around the house purposely.
Bodily fluids.
Yeah.
He puts bodily fluids around the home.
I'm going to tell you this right now.
Do you want a Tito who does stuff like that?
Yeah.
Can I say something right now?
When she goes out in the world, right?
Yeah.
And some homeless person spits in her face, she'll know what to do.
She'll have the immune system to fight it off.
Homeless people.
By the way, under my regime as Tito, everyone's homeless.
Everyone's homeless.
Yeah, I know.
Everyone's homeless.
Everyone's homeless.
That's right.
Right.
So I am preparing her for a hard life, a difficult life, right?
And she one day will be grateful for my fucking tutelage.
Okay.
Can I have the floor, please?
Thank you.
Obviously, this guy.
Well, Andrew, you have been going over the limit.
Great.
So I think we have a lot of questions.
We have to-
Thank you.
Thank you.
And you know what?
This is CNN propaganda.
No, it's not.
That's what this is.
This is MSNBC.
And I know, and I know.
And let me tell you something.
Why don't you talk about your son?
What?
They muted my mic.
Why don't you talk about your son?
Why don't you talk about your son who was on heroin?
My son Alfredo, right?
Yeah, he was on heroin and got kicked out of the Air Force.
Human trafficking business was never on heroin.
He owned a pizza parlor and the Clintons were running kids out of the parlor.
What's the excuse there?
We made pizzas.
My son made pizzas.
You made salad pizzas.
And I said he had a human trafficking business.
You made salad pizzas and sold kids.
He did not shoot heroin.
Next question.
Okay.
Our next look is dedicated to holidays.
Thank you.
My expertise, by the way.
Thank you.
Well, you're welcome.
You have handled Halloween by turning the lights of your house and hiding from
kids.
Tito and Andrew, on the other hand, have been given 50 bags of candy.
50.
So the question that nephews and nieces across America want to know,
how are you going to deal with Christmas?
Well, we start with Tito, Andrew.
Thank you.
Well, I, as a Christian, God-fearing adult male who loves baby Jesus, both
black baby Jesus and white baby Jesus,
I handle Christmas with care, with precision, with expertise, and with love.
I decorate my home.
Uh, I give away gifts to the homeless, increments of, of, of a thousand.
I give away ten, one hundred dollar bills to people at random on the street.
I'm very giving.
I'm very loving.
And, uh, I, I believe that during the holidays, we need to be praising the good
Lord, preaching the good word,
and, uh, making sure that we instill these beliefs into the youth for the rest
of time.
Uh, and, and I am someone, I'm a Tito who gives gifts, as people know of this
show.
Have I given you gifts?
Yeah.
I have.
Okay.
Have I given you gifts?
I'm not done.
Have I given you gifts?
No, you have not.
I just gave you two today!
This is not a gift.
Sure, and, and this is how he feels.
This is not a gift.
And this is how a privileged person feels.
This is insulting.
This is how a privileged person feels about everything.
They don't want anything you give to them.
It isn't enough, because it didn't cost enough.
He didn't like his cake.
I gave him for his birthday, because it was from Vons.
Right.
It's like if I give you an eyebrow trimmer, that is not a gift.
That is something to help you.
I would love it if you gave me one, and that would be a gift.
May I have the floor?
I'm not dying.
May I have the floor?
Rebuttal.
Tito Andrew, I mean, shut up.
Tito Bobby, it's your time.
It is true.
I will deport you.
This guy is getting deported after this.
It is true that I do not give children candy on Halloween.
Yeah.
That is a fact, but what you do not realize is that
I give the kids candy every other day after that.
Prove it.
I do.
I go around right after Halloween.
I'll go up to any random child, give them candy.
They go, "Why?"
Because I will give you candy, not Halloween, but every single other day.
And they go, "Thank you."
There's no proof for this.
This is a lie.
It is not a lie.
No one's ever seen this.
I do do it, all right?
And here's the thing.
You've given fucking Juliana gifts?
Yes.
I've given her the gift of life.
You didn't give, you're not her father.
I know, but I give her food.
And this is what he does.
And shelter.
No.
And blankies.
As we know.
Do you not have a blankie?
Do you have a blankie?
I have.
I have.
Right.
As we know.
Do you have a Tempur-Pedic bed?
Yes.
Thank you.
As we know, Tito Bobby only gives gifts to Rudy Jewels to hold them over her
head.
No.
When he wants something in return.
He has tried to blackmail her, as you've seen on the show.
What can she do for me?
As you've seen on the show, he blackmailed her with Starbucks.
He told me.
What can she do for me?
What can she do for me?
Enrich, enlighten.
She is the youth.
That's the future.
I have not learned anything except for certain anime shows from her.
What the sharpest knives are.
Yep.
Right?
That's pretty much it.
She's given you more than you could ever give to anybody because you're a
selfish person,
and she is not.
Next question.
Next.
Selfish.
Okay.
Who's the one who didn't get...
Mike's got cut.
Good.
Next question.
Okay.
So, on our next...
Who's the one that didn't get COVID?
Cut his mic.
On the topic of being a good uncle, on your last episode, Tito Bobby, you have
described
Rudy as an ungrateful, Mongol-feet ilk.
Tito Andrew, you have mocked Rudy's accent constantly.
So, why would any of you be a good uncle for America, Tito Bobby?
Like I said, okay, the reason why I put the boogers on a wall and I insult her,
right,
is because I'm trying to strengthen her because she is not from this country,
right?
She is not.
She is from the islands of the Philippines.
It's taking money from China and people from the Philippines.
No, no, no.
Just know that that's his agenda.
She is in a new land, right?
And I am just trying to help her grow.
She's grown.
As a human being.
She's an adult grown human being.
And to survive in this crazy world.
She knows how.
Right?
She doesn't need, and she doesn't need your disgustingness.
And let me tell you something.
And when you call her ook.
I never said that.
Yeah, when you call her a fan-faced ook.
Fake news.
You're a white person.
Fake news.
For you to do that.
For you to do that, not blood-related.
Fake.
I'm blood-related.
No, you're not.
Yes.
No, you're not.
Yes, she is.
No, you're not.
She's my sister's fucking daughter.
No.
I have a sister named Honey.
It's my daughter.
That's not your sister.
Yeah, she is my sister.
You're not Filipino.
I am Filipino.
No, you're Korean.
I'm 25% Filipino.
You're 112% Korean.
And the extra 12, we can tell.
We all know where that 12% went.
But you are obviously white, sir.
I'm obviously nothing.
For you to call a young Filipino lady an island pan-faced ook is crazy.
No, I never said that.
You were the one that says Mongol feet.
You were the one that says racial epithets.
I simply...
Have you ever seen her climb a tree?
No.
She can.
And quickly.
The I only tease her accent because it's sweet and loving.
I've never insulted her.
I've never called her names like you have.
You call her degenerate brat.
You've called her the C word off air.
I've seen it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Catherine.
Yeah.
I've called her Catherine.
But Catherine in Filipino means something else, pal.
Beautiful.
No, it means the C word.
It means cunt.
Yes.
Yes.
He does this and this is...
Okay, okay.
Yes.
Thank you.
Guys, thank you.
Let's try to keep it civil.
We're trying.
Okay.
We have...
Our next topic is quality time.
Oh.
Tito Bobby.
My expertise.
You have complained about waking up to go to see a satellite, launching, or to
go fishing.
Mm-hmm.
You decided to stay in the pool while your family went hiking in the
Philippines.
And stay in your hotel during your recent trip to Joshua Tree.
Mm-hmm.
What would you say to those who call you lazy and that you want to spend time
with your knees?
It's really about point of view and perception.
Mm-hmm.
And let me ask you something, all right?
Mm-hmm.
When you hike, when one hikes anywhere in the world, right, you don't want it
to take a week.
You want it to take a couple of hours, right?
If I went on the hike, it would take weeks for you to get through the hike.
Because I'm so slow, like a sloth, right?
So I'm being mindful about their time, right?
I want to go to the hikes.
I look them in the eyes.
But you don't.
May I go?
But you don't go.
And they say, Tito Bobby?
She says, Tito Bobby, right?
You know, I have school next week, right?
I have a life to live.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
I want to be able to get through this hike today.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
So you can watch, you know what I mean?
Your movies in the hotel room, right?
And you can go to the buffet in the morning, right?
The high-class one, right?
And have your pastries, right?
Well, I partake.
But thank you so much for volunteering.
No, thank you.
And this is what somebody says when they don't have the best Tito.
Someone like me, best Tito.
You've never taken her anywhere.
You've never taken her anywhere.
You know why?
You know why?
You know why?
I've taken her to San Francisco, Canada.
I can't take her anywhere.
Canada, New York, Hawaii.
I can't take her anywhere.
Because you're...
Because I'm a white male.
No.
And if I'm seen around town with her in a van, they're going to think, that's a
kidnapped kid.
Yeah.
Why do you have a white van?
Why do you have a white van?
Why is it white?
Yes.
So everyone can see where I'm going.
All right.
I'm a great Tito, and I would love to take Rudy out to lunch or somewhere nice.
I would always be on time.
I would take her for a hike, and I would get the hike done on time.
A good Tito...
You've never done it, sir.
Because it's...
You're all talk.
Because it's illegal.
You lie.
Because it's illegal.
You're all talk.
Because it's illegal.
You keep her caged up at your house.
I'm the one that have proof that I've taken her to France.
Do you live in a cage?
Kind of.
Kind of.
You live in a cage?
She lives in a cage.
Wait, stop.
You heard it, America.
You live in a cage.
The least of the caged.
Be honest.
You live in a cage.
Yep.
Kind of.
All right.
I love it.
Next question.
Okay, but Tito Andrew, on this topic of quality time...
Yes.
Mute him.
Yep.
Tito Andrew, it looks like you have some rage issues.
It's not unusual to see your face go red.
I mean, redder than usual.
Your eyebrows, like, palpitate.
And you yell a lot, you know?
Yeah.
So, why would anyone want to spend some quality time with you?
Here's why.
The only time that I get upset and I get more red than I am is simply when
somebody disrespects my time and or space.
Tito Bobby, the worst Tito in the room, never respects my time or my space.
Doesn't care about what I've got scheduled or what I've got going on.
And that's the only reason that I have anger issues.
Which, by the way, I'm in therapy.
I've been in therapy for a long time.
I've been in therapy.
I'm working through it.
I have multiple therapists, by the way.
Okay?
I am in therapy.
It's working.
I'm struggling through it.
It's not easy.
But I'll say this.
Have I ever yelled at you directly?
Have I ever screamed at you?
I have not.
I yell at someone that disrespects me and my time and I am, therefore, the best
Tito.
Have you ever heard Tito Andrew scream, though?
Yeah.
At whom?
At whom?
Tito Bobby.
That's right.
How do you get affected by it?
It's scary sometimes.
Thank you so much.
It's called residual.
No.
It's residual fear.
It's scary because you think I might actually hurt Tito Bobby, but he deserves
it.
It's funny.
It's funny, my friend.
It's funny, my friend.
Oh, don't talk to me like that.
I'm not your friend.
I've had so many people call me and go, how do you work with that guy?
Oh, is that what they say?
Right.
You know what they say to me?
How do you work with that guy?
How do you work with a man full of rage and anger and hostility?
And he's dirty.
And I say, I can see through that thick, fucking, disgusting crust and see a
kind of human.
And yours is so thick, I can't see through it.
That's who you really are.
And you always result to meanness.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am, of course, the best Tito.
I am the best Tito because I'm the one that has the actual experience and the
facts.
He's never lived in our house.
He's never been a Tito.
I am a Tito.
I'm the one that has actually done it.
I have two nieces and I'm a great Tito.
I give them gifts.
I'm the one that's taken her to San Francisco.
I'm the one that takes the Cabanero sauce.
Oh, San Francisco, the most dangerous city in the United States.
Remember that Melrose, Melrose, that restaurant that you really liked?
I got you Cabanero that night.
Cut his mic.
Okay, final question.
The most important of all.
You live in a cage, huh?
Interesting.
A lot can be learned from how others judge you.
So, can you please take your phones out and open your Uber app?
Please tell America what your rating is.
Okay.
Okay.
What's your, what's your, what's your, what's, go ahead, Tito, Bob.
What's your rating on Uber?
On Uber.
What is it?
4, 8, 8.
4, 8, 8.
My Uber rating is 4, 8, 9.
I swear it's 4, 8, 9.
That's fine.
And there you have it.
There I have it.
Okay.
Now, we have Rudy here to decide who is the best Tito.
Put your phone down.
I.
Oh, sorry.
Hold on.
Sorry.
I don't want to interrupt.
This is real interesting.
I think both of you just kept screaming at each other.
There weren't a lot of points taken.
You have to choose one.
But I think.
You have to choose one.
No, I can't.
You have to choose one.
How are those sandals that you're wearing?
The new ones.
They're comfortable, right?
You have to choose one.
Or that knife.
Remember that cool knife I got you?
Or that framed art behind you.
You have to choose one.
This is hard.
It doesn't matter.
You have to choose one right now.
The choice is clear.
Do you want to sleep?
In your bed tonight?
Be honest.
Just answer.
There's no consequences.
Okay.
I think Tito Andrew is really nice.
And I'm very grateful to know him.
I know where this is going.
But I think Tito Bobby wins.
Take off the shoes.
Take off the shoes!
Best Tito.
Well, as you see, I'm not far off because I'm the best other Tito.
I got a little hostile.
Cheers.
Cheers, my friend.
Cheers to the best Tito.
May the best Tito ask one.
Do you want a position?
I would love one.
Okay.
But you know what I want to do?
Transportation.
How about removal of people?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Removal of people is fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got to get rid of some people.
Yeah, that's true.
That is true.
That is true.
Hey, I appreciate the honesty.
You did a great job.
Hey, I'll see you next time.

BEST TITO DEBATE 2020 | Bad Friends Clips

We're Bad Friends!
All right, good evening from the Bad Friends studio in Los Angeles, California.
I'm Fancy B, your moderator, and I'm welcoming to the first and only
Bad Friends: Best American Tito Debate of 2020 between Tito Bobby and Tito
Andrew.
The commission of very important debates have decided the format: four sections
of
approximately four minutes each, with one minute of interrupted opening
statements from each candidate.
For the record, the candidates have not agreed to respect any rules.
I have decided the topics and the questions,
and I can assure you none of the questions have been shared with any of the
candidates.
As a precaution, the candidates have agreed not to shake hands at the beginning
of the debate.
George has promised not to laugh, no noise, except for now when we welcome Tito
Bobby and Tito Andrew.
Thank you, thank you very much.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you, good to be here. Thank you.
So gentlemen, a lot of people have been waiting for this moment, so let's start.
Our first topic is house rules.
Tito Bobby, you have said you leave dirty plates everywhere, you have a drawer
full of ants,
and you leave boogers in your guest bedroom.
Tito Andrew, you have called your opponent disgusting and accused him of unsanitary
practices.
Yes.
You prefer to have plastified, unused furniture and spotless rooms.
Why are you right in your opponent, Ron? We start with you, Tito Bobby.
I am right because, as we know, life is hard.
For some of us, yes.
For most.
No, for you, for sure.
Well, for us that struggle, right, and know what humanity is about, and know
what hardship is.
You're rich.
He's been taking money from the Chinese for years.
No, no, no.
He's been taking money from the Chinese.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Explain the email.
Excuse me.
Explain the email.
Excuse me.
There's a little email that we have on file that says, that says you're taking
Chinese money.
You have to fucking unite and group together.
There is no sides.
There's no red or blue.
Oh, there's red and yellow.
We're just Americans.
No.
We're Americans.
Are you?
Where were you born?
I was born in San Diego, California.
Show me your passport.
How dare you.
I heard my passport.
I don't need a passport because I have a birth certificate.
Oh, show me that too.
Thank you so much.
Show me your birth certificate.
All right.
Folks, fake news.
How am I fake news?
Okay, you're the one who keeps unkept records of yourself.
You're late.
You were late to this debate.
You were late.
How?
What kind of person wants a Tito who's late to the debate?
Let me ask the question at hand.
Why don't we leave the questions up to the moderator?
Let me finish my point, sir.
Okay, go ahead.
Thank you.
All right.
Yeah, go ahead.
All right.
Will you shut up, man?
Life is hard.
Let me, honestly, can I finish without him interrupting?
Yes.
30 seconds.
How is that even 30 seconds?
What are you fucking interrupting me?
Here we go.
All right.
All right.
So let me just finish.
All right, sir.
Thank you.
Life is hard.
Okay.
And I know that when Jules leaves our house, right, she is going to be
confronted with
all kinds of elements, right?
And I want to be able to toughen her skin, right?
I want her to succeed and I want her to know what tough love is, et cetera, et
cetera.
So what I do is I put things around the house purposely.
Bodily fluids.
Yeah.
He puts bodily fluids around the home.
I'm going to tell you this right now.
Do you want a Tito who does stuff like that?
Yeah.
Can I say something right now?
When she goes out in the world, right?
Yeah.
And some homeless person spits in her face, she'll know what to do.
She'll have the immune system to fight it off.
Homeless people.
By the way, under my regime as Tito, everyone's homeless.
Everyone's homeless.
Yeah, I know.
Everyone's homeless.
Everyone's homeless.
That's right.
Right.
So I am preparing her for a hard life, a difficult life, right?
And she one day will be grateful for my fucking tutelage.
Okay.
Can I have the floor, please?
Thank you.
Obviously, this guy.
Well, Andrew, you have been going over the limit.
Great.
So I think we have a lot of questions.
We have to-
Thank you.
Thank you.
And you know what?
This is CNN propaganda.
No, it's not.
That's what this is.
This is MSNBC.
And I know, and I know.
And let me tell you something.
Why don't you talk about your son?
What?
They muted my mic.
Why don't you talk about your son?
Why don't you talk about your son who was on heroin?
My son Alfredo, right?
Yeah, he was on heroin and got kicked out of the Air Force.
Human trafficking business was never on heroin.
He owned a pizza parlor and the Clintons were running kids out of the parlor.
What's the excuse there?
We made pizzas.
My son made pizzas.
You made salad pizzas.
And I said he had a human trafficking business.
You made salad pizzas and sold kids.
He did not shoot heroin.
Next question.
Okay.
Our next look is dedicated to holidays.
Thank you.
My expertise, by the way.
Thank you.
Well, you're welcome.
You have handled Halloween by turning the lights of your house and hiding from
kids.
Tito and Andrew, on the other hand, have been given 50 bags of candy.
50.
So the question that nephews and nieces across America want to know,
how are you going to deal with Christmas?
Well, we start with Tito, Andrew.
Thank you.
Well, I, as a Christian, God-fearing adult male who loves baby Jesus, both
black baby Jesus and white baby Jesus,
I handle Christmas with care, with precision, with expertise, and with love.
I decorate my home.
Uh, I give away gifts to the homeless, increments of, of, of a thousand.
I give away ten, one hundred dollar bills to people at random on the street.
I'm very giving.
I'm very loving.
And, uh, I, I believe that during the holidays, we need to be praising the good
Lord, preaching the good word,
and, uh, making sure that we instill these beliefs into the youth for the rest
of time.
Uh, and, and I am someone, I'm a Tito who gives gifts, as people know of this
show.
Have I given you gifts?
Yeah.
I have.
Okay.
Have I given you gifts?
I'm not done.
Have I given you gifts?
No, you have not.
I just gave you two today!
This is not a gift.
Sure, and, and this is how he feels.
This is not a gift.
And this is how a privileged person feels.
This is insulting.
This is how a privileged person feels about everything.
They don't want anything you give to them.
It isn't enough, because it didn't cost enough.
He didn't like his cake.
I gave him for his birthday, because it was from Vons.
Right.
It's like if I give you an eyebrow trimmer, that is not a gift.
That is something to help you.
I would love it if you gave me one, and that would be a gift.
May I have the floor?
I'm not dying.
May I have the floor?
Rebuttal.
Tito Andrew, I mean, shut up.
Tito Bobby, it's your time.
It is true.
I will deport you.
This guy is getting deported after this.
It is true that I do not give children candy on Halloween.
Yeah.
That is a fact, but what you do not realize is that
I give the kids candy every other day after that.
Prove it.
I do.
I go around right after Halloween.
I'll go up to any random child, give them candy.
They go, "Why?"
Because I will give you candy, not Halloween, but every single other day.
And they go, "Thank you."
There's no proof for this.
This is a lie.
It is not a lie.
No one's ever seen this.
I do do it, all right?
And here's the thing.
You've given fucking Juliana gifts?
Yes.
I've given her the gift of life.
You didn't give, you're not her father.
I know, but I give her food.
And this is what he does.
And shelter.
No.
And blankies.
As we know.
Do you not have a blankie?
Do you have a blankie?
I have.
I have.
Right.
As we know.
Do you have a Tempur-Pedic bed?
Yes.
Thank you.
As we know, Tito Bobby only gives gifts to Rudy Jewels to hold them over her
head.
No.
When he wants something in return.
He has tried to blackmail her, as you've seen on the show.
What can she do for me?
As you've seen on the show, he blackmailed her with Starbucks.
He told me.
What can she do for me?
What can she do for me?
Enrich, enlighten.
She is the youth.
That's the future.
I have not learned anything except for certain anime shows from her.
What the sharpest knives are.
Yep.
Right?
That's pretty much it.
She's given you more than you could ever give to anybody because you're a
selfish person,
and she is not.
Next question.
Next.
Selfish.
Okay.
Who's the one who didn't get...
Mike's got cut.
Good.
Next question.
Okay.
So, on our next...
Who's the one that didn't get COVID?
Cut his mic.
On the topic of being a good uncle, on your last episode, Tito Bobby, you have
described
Rudy as an ungrateful, Mongol-feet ilk.
Tito Andrew, you have mocked Rudy's accent constantly.
So, why would any of you be a good uncle for America, Tito Bobby?
Like I said, okay, the reason why I put the boogers on a wall and I insult her,
right,
is because I'm trying to strengthen her because she is not from this country,
right?
She is not.
She is from the islands of the Philippines.
It's taking money from China and people from the Philippines.
No, no, no.
Just know that that's his agenda.
She is in a new land, right?
And I am just trying to help her grow.
She's grown.
As a human being.
She's an adult grown human being.
And to survive in this crazy world.
She knows how.
Right?
She doesn't need, and she doesn't need your disgustingness.
And let me tell you something.
And when you call her ook.
I never said that.
Yeah, when you call her a fan-faced ook.
Fake news.
You're a white person.
Fake news.
For you to do that.
For you to do that, not blood-related.
Fake.
I'm blood-related.
No, you're not.
Yes.
No, you're not.
Yes, she is.
No, you're not.
She's my sister's fucking daughter.
No.
I have a sister named Honey.
It's my daughter.
That's not your sister.
Yeah, she is my sister.
You're not Filipino.
I am Filipino.
No, you're Korean.
I'm 25% Filipino.
You're 112% Korean.
And the extra 12, we can tell.
We all know where that 12% went.
But you are obviously white, sir.
I'm obviously nothing.
For you to call a young Filipino lady an island pan-faced ook is crazy.
No, I never said that.
You were the one that says Mongol feet.
You were the one that says racial epithets.
I simply...
Have you ever seen her climb a tree?
No.
She can.
And quickly.
The I only tease her accent because it's sweet and loving.
I've never insulted her.
I've never called her names like you have.
You call her degenerate brat.
You've called her the C word off air.
I've seen it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Catherine.
Yeah.
I've called her Catherine.
But Catherine in Filipino means something else, pal.
Beautiful.
No, it means the C word.
It means cunt.
Yes.
Yes.
He does this and this is...
Okay, okay.
Yes.
Thank you.
Guys, thank you.
Let's try to keep it civil.
We're trying.
Okay.
We have...
Our next topic is quality time.
Oh.
Tito Bobby.
My expertise.
You have complained about waking up to go to see a satellite, launching, or to
go fishing.
Mm-hmm.
You decided to stay in the pool while your family went hiking in the
Philippines.
And stay in your hotel during your recent trip to Joshua Tree.
Mm-hmm.
What would you say to those who call you lazy and that you want to spend time
with your knees?
It's really about point of view and perception.
Mm-hmm.
And let me ask you something, all right?
Mm-hmm.
When you hike, when one hikes anywhere in the world, right, you don't want it
to take a week.
You want it to take a couple of hours, right?
If I went on the hike, it would take weeks for you to get through the hike.
Because I'm so slow, like a sloth, right?
So I'm being mindful about their time, right?
I want to go to the hikes.
I look them in the eyes.
But you don't.
May I go?
But you don't go.
And they say, Tito Bobby?
She says, Tito Bobby, right?
You know, I have school next week, right?
I have a life to live.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
I want to be able to get through this hike today.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
So you can watch, you know what I mean?
Your movies in the hotel room, 