Name: Bad Friends Will Do Anything For The Fans | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-11-07T22:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bad Friends Will Do Anything For The Fans | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bad Friends Will Do Anything For The Fans | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-07. Transcript available.

I got you two gifs because we're concerned about your sleep patterns and I
hear you breathe the fans have noted that you're breathing so much they can
hear how you breathe in the mic yeah and they're concerned a lot of people
hear fluttering within your lungs people are getting concerned we've had a lot
of
fans write in medical fans have said I work in the medical field Bobby sounds a
little sketchy when he breathes so breathe through your nose into the mic
go ahead they're worried so we got you two things I'm getting you help by
the way I'm getting you a sleep apnea coach we're gonna is gonna be on next
week okay but I've got you two things I'd like you to try on now this is an
anti-snoring chin strap the white one let's see if that works see if it see if
it maybe helps a little bit with your breathing technique these chin straps are
from from Amazon they were the cheapest one I could find so I don't know if
they're and they're made in Wuhan China I don't know where that is or if that's
a
good spot to come from but that's what these are made you place the wide part
I already know how to use these before you used it yeah but then put the other
part behind your head so unstrap the Bob are you snoring working these are
great
well there's a black one too but we also got you one more thing as a gift this
is
from the crew here at bad friends this is a two-in-one anti-snoring and an air
purifier this is actually very dope this came highly recommended you put this
in
your schnoz you won't snore it'll help you not have sleep apnea stuff and on
top of it
you're you're filtering out all the stuff that's in the air here in Los Angeles
we
have crappy air you know so throw that in your schnoz and let's see what that
does
we have really bad air have you ever seen the dust outside when you look at the
furniture isn't it disgusting it's gross this would mean this would mean this
would mean this would mean that I was it that dusty back home this would mean I
would have the Philippines yes if dusty in the Philippines it's bad I would I
would
have every hole in my body of my face covered if I have this correct because I
cover my eyes yeah my ears yeah and now my nose I think oh I have one more I
have
more more hole my mouth well yeah but we're gonna sleep I have dicks in your
mouth yeah at night yeah we're gonna put a sleep apnea machine in your mouth
you
could put the dick in your butt is this you still put the dick in your butt go
ahead put it up your schnoz and see how it works now breathe into the mic let's
hear it hello no no breathe with your nose how much smoother does that sound
dude this
is gonna change your life no but why I don't I don't first of all I don't hear
a difference
there's a huge difference I'm fine with my nasal passageways but you don't know
what's
really going on Bob of course I do I'm the one that's living in it you barely
know what's
going on with your body I know exactly what's going on my body you really do it's
a good
machine it's a bad machine it's a broken machine it's an old xerox machine we
need to fix it
yep it's not I'm not gonna die I don't know am I gonna die people are fucking
emailing us
that I'm gonna die people are saying they're concerned about your sleep your
sleep habits
because it's really dangerous how people die so much younger when they when
they have sleep
apnea when they can't get good sleep when they when they stay up too late and
their body
isn't on a good time schedule this is how people die young okay I'll keep it in
there
it sounds good it does honestly it sounds like you're getting full full
filtered air in there
you feel that it's smooth right I literally am dizzy because you're getting so
much oxygen
no no no I'm like I'm about to faint don't faint okay
should I keep it in I think you should take it out no I'm gonna keep it in keep
it in I'll keep it
in look it's gonna help you tremendously okay and people okay who are these
doctors people from
the internet yeah internet doctors internet doctors what are they saying on
that they're saying that
they're they're saying that when they're listening to the fucking podcast they
can hear me breathe
yeah they can hear you breathe through your schnoz and it sounds it sounds like
you're not getting
enough oxygen you don't know your body what's your what kind of body fat
percentage do you have
do you think 4.5 over the redux of my body fat really yeah I'm gonna get a body
fat at measuring
machine I guarantee you're like 20 or 30 you're like you're almost 30 percent
body fat pie over
fucking grams put your arm out to the side put your arm straight out right here
man all right jiggle it
like this do like that look at that fuck you there's nothing here there's no
muscle that's like
there's no muscle but there's no fat yeah there is look on the underside look
at all that fat
wiggling down there it's skin no that's not I come from a big skin family you
guys have a lot of
skin we have a longer skin and we have more skin genetically okay my family
okay yeah but there's
no fat no fat there's fat in my stomach but anywhere else doesn't it doesn't
exist okay
well I hope this works at least this I think is a good start
I'll try tonight though I think you should honestly so this what is this gonna
do it's
gonna open up your nasal passages right it's gonna get more airflow that's why
you feel like
fainting because you're actually probably getting a lot of oxygen in your blood
I'm a little high
right now it's cool that's cool yeah you do get a little stone from air yeah
yeah yeah have you
ever had an oxygen machine have you ever had like a have you ever been in the
mountains before
oh I'm a mountain man no you're not oh fuck yeah where'd you go big bear mammoth
okay okay okay
um mammoth is good mammoth is up there mount soledad yeah most mont soledad
when did you go to
mont soledad there's one in la jolla oh that's not no there's one in mexico
that I'm thinking that
you're not you didn't mont soledad is like a hill yeah it's not a mountain but
it's called
mont soledad sure yes that's true right yeah there's there's a high school
called mount carmel
it's not on a mountain I know but it's still uphill sure it's up a hill yeah it's
up and you're elevated
okay yes it's a mountain it's not a mountain but I'm just saying they call it
mount soledad
I'm just giving you facts yeah but that's not a mountain I need to know
mountains okay
Fiji and Fuji Fiji water Fuji water yeah yeah I know I drank mount Fiji water
on mount Fuji did
you really yeah that's kind of fun that's really good you just it's gonna get
more oxygen in your
blood it's gonna help you sleep better and it's filtering the air so then if
Kalilah let's one
rip at night or one of the dogs you won't be able to smell it yeah or you or
you if you can't if you
don't want to smell your body really concerned though man this is kind of
freaking me out same
to us that's why we're doing this no but do I really need to go to a doctor and
get a fucking we're
getting a guy on on next week that's what my doctor said he's gonna he's gonna
analyze everything up
front and and find out how if you really need to come in and get a machine yeah
but I think he's
gonna find out that yeah you're drinking 87 ounces of coffee you're still
smoking you're drinking Red
people your diet consists of pizza boogers and you know yeah Korean barbecue I
mean when was the last
time you had just a salad for real Monday maybe but was a salad with fixin's on
it it was a pizza
salad pizza salad yeah yeah okay that makes sense well it's a pizza right with
the sauce but they put
salad on top they really do I know it's really good yeah yeah pizza salad's
fine yeah yeah and then we I
love um is um carbonara a salad carbonara is not a salad no it's delicious
though sure can we admit
that yeah yeah it also it fills you up sure does it gives you energy no I don't
know if it gives you
energy yeah yeah there's I like carbonara a lot you know if that's a salad and
um penne with carbonara
I'm sure that's not a salad penne is a pasta yeah yeah right but it is um it's
really good yes I also
like um what fruits do I like I like um blueberries okay bananas bananas are
good for you yeah I like
peanut butter with my banana though same you do I put peanut butter on my waffles
too I had blueberry
waffles what I'll do is I'll chop up maybe five bananas mm-hmm and then I'll
stick like three
um spoonfuls of peanut butter okay and then I'll drench it with honey
mm-hmm yeah and then I'll make two gigantic pieces of toast and I'll take all
that and chunk it you
know I mean mm-hmm and is that a salad yes okay that's a salad yeah by probably
by by proxy by proxy yeah
it's near it's near enough by salad yeah take that out of your nose will you do
it tonight for real will you
really try it tonight and sleep with that in the chin strap will you lick this
mm-hmm no be honest you
know what let me ask you this all right that's an old korean custom right it
really is I trust I trust
nothing the koreans have done I understand that but you know what it would mean
a lot to me it'll make
me laugh you want me to make me laugh yeah you want to make me laugh mm-hmm you
would make me cackle
laughing if I could make George lick that no if you licked the tip of tips of
these right now like
stick this in your mouth yeah right now I just got over coronavirus you want me
to get a new virus
you you'll you'll you have something twice and sars okay so um but I'm you know
I'm on antibiotics
right it would make me laugh are you on antibiotics right now why are you on
antibiotics I always take them
it's like a vitamin for me that's so they're so bad for you oh shit I'll stop
they deplete your
immune system oh Bobby don't take antibiotics I don't take it can you lick this
no you're not yeah
lick this I could see you just throwing down a z-pack tips hey the fans will
love it it's entertainment
the fans will love me licking your snot uh device yeah yeah why don't you make
one of these guys do it
yeah get in here George you fuck you lick it George George he just he literally
goes he just
laughed nobody sounds like you George it's you he just laughed you know what
Andrew um you're a coward
thanks okay okay I'll lick that if on camera yeah you lick my open butthole
oh on camera I will on camera yeah yeah moon there and you lick my open tush
and I'll lick that
okay really for the laugh yeah I do anything for the fans I know it's
disgusting I know I would do
anything for the fans I think it's hilarious right I'd have to put a mask on no
no no no no I will
I'll stick my tongue out but I have to wear the mask out no it's got to be
tongue it's got to be tongue
to tush uh can I do something that's like equivalent to this though I just feel
like you took it to a
next level comedy elevate always no but it's a contract right yeah and my deal
is better than yours
no no no the contract is this it should be equal right no why don't you do this
right why don't
you stick a fucking tissue in your nose right swirl it all around I'll eat the
tissue you lick the tip
of this so you guys are afraid to go out to eat at restaurants yeah but you
want me to lick your
nose that's true yeah that's right let's be real okay let's be real George
trying to get away from
that George we should have made George do it what do we make him do let's have
him do it or he's fired
do it or you're fired George