Name: My Octopus Teacher on Netflix Tug On Your Heart Strings | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2020-11-21T22:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Octopus Teacher on Netflix Tug On Your Heart Strings | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Octopus Teacher on Netflix Tug On Your Heart Strings | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-21. Transcript available.

You don't like, I bet you, you don't like oysters.
Oh, I love oysters.
Oh, you do?
Oh, you ought to eat your fucking mind.
Okay, okay.
I mean, we've got oysters together.
Do you eat oysters without anything on it?
Yes, I can do that too.
Because some people, some people have to have Tabasco and horseradish and all
that stuff.
You can just go, I can do that.
And have I been known to put Tabasco?
Yeah.
I mean, everybody does.
Everybody does.
But I'm saying, but you like them raw too.
I love anything raw in that way.
Really?
Yeah.
Octopus?
Well, I won't eat octopus, that one documentary, but I used to eat octopus.
What documentary?
My Octopus Teacher.
Someone, what is it?
What is it?
You have to watch it.
My Octopus Teacher?
Yeah, it's on Netflix.
You see it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What is it?
Oh my God, dude.
It'll break your fucking heart.
I'm already breaking.
So it's like this South African, I guess he's a video journalist.
It's like he does like natural geographic shit, you know what I mean?
In the tundra.
And he'd been doing that all his life and he got sick and tired of it.
So he went home.
He decided to quit and live in his house that he grew up in, which is right on
the coast of
South Africa.
And so what he would do every day is go in the water and he had equipment, but
he would
go free diving, but he would, and he would film things, you know what I mean?
Like underwater sea creatures.
Sure.
But one day he runs across a little octopus and at first like octopus would see
him because
he'd be just white man floating in there, right?
And he would scurry away.
But eventually what happened is, is the octopus recognizes him and pull out his
hand and shake
his hand.
No way.
Yeah.
And then they became friends and they were, and the octopus would come out of
its little
hole and go onto the guy's chest and just sleep there.
Just cut it out.
No, I'm kidding you.
I'm not kidding you.
They were friends, right?
Yeah.
And the octopus would get excited to see him.
So it has that kind of, um, sentient, you know, um, it's got an understanding.
Understanding.
Wow.
Yeah.
How do you know, how does it get excited?
Like all of its arms start waving?
Yeah.
That's how it gets excited?
And they would play too.
They would tag, tag, and they would swim around and stop it.
Yeah.
And play around and stuff.
Really?
Yeah.
And then, um, are those arms or legs?
And then, um, I have to say there's a scene where, um, he has sex with the
octopus.
No, no, no, no.
No?
A shark comes along to hunt the fucking octopus when he's already befriended it.
And octopus, uh, the shark bites the octopus in the arm, rips an arm, and the
dude's just
filming.
Yeah.
Like a fuck face.
But he has seven more.
You lose one arm, you got seven more arms, bud.
Well, it does grow back.
Yeah.
So it's not that big of a deal.
It's like a dick.
So you got...
Can you imagine if your dick fell off, you just got a new one sometimes?
Oh, I, you know what would be great?
You're like, oh, it's June.
Or, like, a black one grew.
Well.
That'd be cool.
Like, you lost your yellow, my little yellow one.
And a black one.
And a big, like...
But then every year, you lose that, you never know what you're going to get
next year.
Right, right.
So you've got to really kind of get...
Right, you can get one, like, that's, uh, really dark Indian style.
Or crooked.
All right.
Like a total L. Have you ever seen those, like the L shapes?
Or, like, one, like, you're just, like, completely just white.
That's mine.
Yeah.
And that's how it is, too.
A little chody chode.
Just really round.
What if it cuts off and all of a sudden you get a vagina?
Oh, I'm chody.