Name: Andrew Santino Watches Tiptoes Trailer for the First Time | Bad Friends Review
Uploaded: 2021-01-15T17:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Watches Tiptoes Trailer for the First Time | Bad Friends Review' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Watches Tiptoes Trailer for the First Time | Bad Friends Review' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-15. Transcript available.

We're bald friends!
You know Tiptoes?
No.
What is Tiptoes?
Come on, man.
What's Tiptoes?
Look up Tiptoes.
George, have you seen this?
He can't do this role anymore.
No.
Okay, push pause for a second.
Wait a minute.
What's that girl's name?
Is that the British girl?
What's her name?
The British girl?
Who's that actress?
Isn't she...
She looks like...
I thought it was like Gwyneth Paltrow's mom.
Who is that girl?
She looks...
I hate that scene because it's like,
who walks into a fucking house full of small people
and makes a face?
And goes, oh!
Yeah, yeah.
Like, you and I would pretend.
Like, you know, inside ourselves.
Like, holy fuck.
Yeah, you're crumbling.
Yeah, yeah.
What are we in?
The fucking Wizard of Oz?
But outside of it, you have to go...
Outside, you'd just be like...
Nice to meet you.
Everything was normal.
Yeah, you have to go to everything.
That's like...
You do that now.
When you see someone with a thing
and you can't...
You're not allowed to do anything about it.
You don't make a fucking sitcom face.
Ooh!
You know what I mean?
Yeah, and get angry.
Or like...
Or disgusted.
I want to watch Tiptoes.
Keep going.
We're late.
Push the mic.
You couldn't prepare us...
Hey, Mom, by the way...
You couldn't prepare us for this, by the way?
We're coming in here.
There's a bunch of dwarves in here.
By the way, you would have to say that.
If I...
If you...
Yeah, why...
Yeah, that's it.
Why wouldn't they...
She would have said something.
They would have already said it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, by the way, my whole family is LPs.
Yeah, just FYI.
There's a bunch of small people that don't make a face.
But you're not going to say that right before you walk in.
You say that way long time ago.
In the car ride.
When you first said...
In the car ride.
You're coming to meet my parents.
I'm picking your parents.
I'm picking my parents up.
Okay.
That's it's Kalilah's fucking...
Kalilah's fucking family.
By the way, a bunch of little Filipinos would...
That'd be...
Then I would go...
I would make a face.
No, I would go...
Don't laugh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I would laugh.
To my parents.
But I would laugh.
So...
If I picked you up, I'd be like...
You can't...
We can't go in there.
No, we can't.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you're going to laugh.
Why?
I go...
They're dwarves.
And you're going to be like...
I'm not laughing at dwarves.
They're Filipino dwarves.
And you're going to go...
Okay, I can't go in there.
I'm going to lose it.
Dude, that's not that girl.
Who's that girl on the left?
I don't give a fuck who that lady is.
I know, but I'm stuck on her face now.
I'm stuck on her face.
Tiptoes.
Cast.
Tiptoes.
Peter Dinklage.
Gary Oldman.
Yeah, Kate Beckinsdale.
The British woman.
That's who I thought that was.
Oh, that is?
That's Kate Beckinsdale.
Oh, you mean...
I thought the girl to the right you were talking about.
No.
Underworld.
She's Underworld.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's looked like that since she was that age.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You seen what she looks like now?
Underworld.
Look at this.
This is what?
2003?
Yeah, yeah.
Can we finish the trailer before you go back?
Please.
Please, let's finish it.
Sorry.
I didn't know you wanted it.
Show me later.
Okay.
When the going gets rough, it's only the size of your heart that counts.
Would it really be that big of a deal if our kid was a dwarf?
Okay, stop for a second.
Push pause, all right?
She said, would it be that big of a deal if our kid was a dwarf?
What a gamble.
You know what I mean?
Because it's like, you know, Matthew McConaughey is like one of the most
handsome guys.
Yeah.
So it's like either, you know, I'm having a baby.
You know, there's Mitch is in his, you know.
Bloodline.
Bloodline.
Yeah.
But he's so handsome.
He could go 50-50.
But you could get a handsome midget.
Oh, that's true.
You could get a very handsome midget.
So there's three things that could happen.
Who's the most handsome midget?
You can get an ugly midget.
Yeah.
A handsome midget.
Or really handsome, regular.
Is that what you call it?
Well, what if you, this would be funny if he got an ugly regular.
A full-size hideous.
That would be good.
Kate Beckinsale and him have like the ugliest man on earth.
Right, like, yeah.
Who's a regular-sized guy.
It's like Steve Buscemi that was in a fire.
Yeah, where like the tooth comes out of the skin, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
Like it's got one of these balcony teeth.
Yeah.
Yeah, it could be, this could be, this could have gone the other way.
Is that Jeff Foxworthy?
There's Pete.
Don't discriminate against us.
Oh.
There's a little people couple that lives in my neighborhood and I see them at
the bar.
I used to see them when we would, when life was open.
Yeah.
And they can drink.
You think that you're like little person, they're, you know, their livers have
to be also tiny.
Yeah.
You know?
No.
They can drink.
They can drink.
Drink, drink.
Yeah, but.
Where do they put it all?
I know.
I'm just saying though that like.
Do they have to pee more?
They might still have little livers.
They have little livers.
They might die earlier.
They do.
Yeah, they might die earlier.
Because of the drinking.
Yeah.
Well, rest in peace.
I don't know if I'll see those guys ever again.
Yeah.
Does anybody believe Matthew McConaughey?
Look, they got one.
So their baby is an LP?
Yeah.
Wow.
I know.
It's incredible.
The cast.
Like this is stacked.
It's stacked.
Why would they do this?
I don't know.
Why would they do that movie?
The script can't be good.
No, the first thing you read, you'd be like.
It's offensive.
This is crazy.
Yeah.
It's just straight up offensive.
But 2003, that's long enough ago where.
Yeah, dude.
It's one of those situations where his agent, Gary Oldman's agent said.
Listen, man.
You could win an Oscar.
Right.
He's like, really?
Yeah.
If you can pull this off.
Yeah.
And then once they attached him.
It was over.
All you have to do is like.
Yeah.
Forget the script.
Gary Oldman's playing the guy.
Yeah, you could get an Oscar out of it.
And then like everyone was like, I'll do it.
That's why.
That's how they got it.
You have one name.
Yeah.
You sync one name.
Yeah.
And then everyone else was like, okay.
Yeah.
It's not like they got Kate Beckinsale first.
No.
They got Gary.
And people were like, well, I know, but who's playing the little one?
Was Dinklage famous by then?
Not really, right?
No.
I can't find tiptoes.
I can find.
It's like that movie.
I think what happened is somebody.
It's one of those situations where, you know how Robert De Niro, apparently I
heard that
he bought the rights to Frankenstein.
Yeah.
So no one else would.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think a lot of big stars.
They just buy it.
They'll find like a movie that's so embarrassing and they figure out how to
squash it.
How to just get a hold of it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, who do you think bought that?
Gary?
He doesn't have the money.
Who doesn't?
Matthew McConaughey.
So rich.
Maybe.
He could have bought it and been like, you're not going to show that.
Not when my book's coming out.
Yeah.