Name: Andrew Santino Barely Escapes a Fight Walking His Dog
Uploaded: 2021-01-27T19:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Barely Escapes a Fight Walking His Dog' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Barely Escapes a Fight Walking His Dog' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-27. Transcript available.

we're bad friends i almost got beat up in my own neighborhood why i this guy i
you know what you
do i do the white guy thing when somebody drives too fast i go like this i do
that i love your
white guy thing yeah i love your guy yeah i love it so this guy flies by me in
a in like a dusty
old dirty disgusting pickup truck yeah and i this thing yeah one of these yeah
that yeah yeah yeah
yeah and i start walking and then i hear i love when that he backs up and gets
right next to me and
i've got my little dog my little tiny dog i love your dog and i'm and i'm
scared and nervous and i
see this dude is massive and i'm thinking great and now i'm gonna get beat up
for being you know
annoyed in my own neighborhood yeah yeah and in the most earnest honest way he
goes did i do something
wrong i go uh you sure are going fast he goes oh okay did you flick me off no
no no i i was like
you know annoyed and then and then i did lie he goes you got kids here or
something i go yes my family
i have kids we live right here yeah we always we have little kids you have to
lie and he goes oh my
bad okay i'll slow down i was like thank you very much and off he goes my dog
looks up at me and goes we
don't have kids yeah i was it was i was so scared he was a guy mexican he was
huge like a mexican jacked
yeah dude he i mean like shaved head tats up on them and he goes did i do
something wrong and i was
like yeah i'm gonna get beat up in my own neighborhood yeah to beat the out of
me but i
lied said i had kids got right out of it fine if i said i don't have kids then
he would have been like
oh then don't be a and he would have kicked the out of me you do have to lie
yeah i lie all the time we have
children here we have little little children here yeah yeah yeah we have to
protect the neighborhood
one of them is blind in a wheelchair yeah sometimes he rolls out in the street
and he just where am i
yeah yeah he's been hit like four times i know the poor guy we're trying to
help him out so the guy
have you seen that guy before i've seen the truck in the neighborhood he's
working on one of the houses
up the street dude there is a house they've been working on for the two years
that i've been in my
neighborhood two years the rumor i heard was the couple started it together and
then split so they
just stopped and now they're finishing the house and i just can't like at this
point just leave it it's
all you lost yeah like just to stop yeah stop the house yeah set it on get the
here's what you do you
pay a guy to burn it to the ground and you get the insurance right i know one
of these guys good
fellas i know one of these burn the bar down burn it yeah get the money yeah it's
not hard to cover
up by the way it's so funny when you said that it's like when i first moved
into our house right
i've never had neighbors really and i've never talked to neighbors well because
you before in the
condo you didn't yeah condo it's also i'm just not i don't like small talk and
who does and i'm also
like a weird little guy so anyway um i we you know we're packing one day and
this guy comes up this
is before the pandemic yeah and he's like this balding kind of fatter older guy
he goes what's
up man i'm cliff angle and i go what what is that name right cliff man i've
seen remember we've done
that commercial in in 88 98. oh right we used to see auditions all the time
welcome to the neighborhood
so this guy knows you right right i go oh yeah yeah good and he goes yeah so
anyway you know
we have these powwows i go no and i just walked back up by cliff angle i left
cliff angle cliff angle
i just made up that name i know i don't want to say his real name i know i know
his name his real name
is okay because i make up names right and whenever i make up a name they always
come out like names you've
never heard before right by the way cliff angle probably is a real guy you
think so yeah oh but i don't know
how to do that so i don't talk to anybody the guy next to us right is a
producer a famous like a
famous one yeah yeah you know him oh okay right he produces a lot of comedy
central shit oh really
yeah oh and he's the one that um i don't know if i should oh it say it yeah i'm
gonna regret it but
he'll he'll call him he's gonna call me and go that was inappropriate well we're
not gonna call
anybody on this show anymore exactly we're not are we no so we were negotiating
yeah so i was looking at how
houses and then in that in the and then my um what's he called it the real
estate person yeah
says um you know the guy that owns the house you actually know him but he doesn't
want me to tell
you know him because he doesn't want to lower his price oh wow right that's
interesting it's interesting
right yeah i go yeah but i could just call him and go what the are you doing
right you have
he's like you cannot he goes you cannot tell him what you're not supposed to
know who owns the house
before you he goes yeah i didn't know i didn't know i don't know i didn't know
the name even even
when he said i knew the name oh he knows me we've worked together you know when
you do a comedy
central whatever right you don't know all the producers over there you don't
meet people it's a
thousand people yes he knows who i am right right and i go oh and so um i had
to pretend that i didn't
even you know i mean that i didn't know that he owned the house until after i
bought it but even
still you don't but now i have a i do know i know who he is now because i went
to his house afterwards
he started inviting me like his parties is he have a nice a really big big nice
house he does but he
me on the house why you overpaid yes seriously you wouldn't budge so when you
go to his house when
he throws parties steal stuff oh yeah just take yeah but jeff ross is somebody
they're all there take
shit from him too oh yeah that guy yeah let people come inside you go inside of
his house take stuff
yeah and then the guy next to me is an old man you know the old man he's the oh
god does he complain
yeah i have my dog on the backyard he does you don't like him yeah and all of a
sudden like
he's white i'll look around i'll go he's not here and then you know i'm with
the dogs and all of a
sudden i hear hey man keep your dogs down he's pipe and i go where the is and i
look up and he's in a
tree coming down you know what i mean like he's like in a tree you know what i
mean right and then
like another dog i won't see him i'll go hey buddy you know you can keep the
dogs down i'll look around
and he's underneath like a bush you know me popping up i've just been hanging
out under here yeah yeah
he's the worst you don't like him either do you no he's a white guy isn't he
yeah yeah what is his
name do you know his name no we don't know his name does he ever say anything
to you no he doesn't
he doesn't you think this one better now you better not you think this little
one is break
his leg people like delivery people they think that she's a mute they think
that she is like
like a handicapped mute they're like i dropped off a like a mental like yeah
handicapped daughter and
this girl came out you know this girl came out like it didn't speak english i
go yeah but she's normal
no but she's just like all you know what i mean are you sure her eyes are weird
yeah i don't know if you
can trust her you can trust her you can trust her you can trust her you can
trust her you can trust her