Name: Why Tim Dillon Joined the Rogan Austin Train | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2021-02-04T19:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why Tim Dillon Joined the Rogan Austin Train | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why Tim Dillon Joined the Rogan Austin Train | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-04. Transcript available.

We're bad friends.
There's a comic named Whitmer Thomas.
He put up a song today and I thought this was...
Oh, I know that guy.
Yeah, Whitmer.
Yeah, Whitmer Thomas.
Play it from the beginning.
This is a song that he originally composed here during...
This kind of sums up what the pandemic has been for everybody.
It's short and quick.
It's great.
And I fucking love it.
We're friends, the M-A-M-E-M.
Clean the kitchen counter even though it's clean.
Sit in the sun and try to sweat.
Go through all fours and shave my head.
Life's become a bottomless hole.
Squeeze the joy from my soul.
Try to relate, try to self-motivate.
But you can't fight the rigmarole.
No, no, no, you can't fight the rigmarole.
All right.
I love him.
I love him.
He's pretty good.
I think he's so great.
That's the kind of stuff that sums up the pandemic to me.
Alone in your house on a green screen.
Yeah.
Guitar or keyboard.
It's, you know.
Life's become a bottomless hole.
It's funny.
We've been so conditioned to live like this for the last,
it's been almost now a year.
It has been.
No, it has been.
Coming up on a year, right?
Imagine a year.
I haven't done stand-up in a year.
Think how good you'll be when you get back.
Bad.
Yeah, it'll be bad.
Yeah.
But won't it be fun to be bad?
Oh, I can't wait because I'm going to start anew.
You are?
Yeah, I'm going to start anew.
Are you going to put anything down?
I'm not.
I'm literally not going to do any old jokes.
I don't know what the old jokes are.
But I'm saying you should put down the old jokes on a tape or something.
Like put them out.
No.
Why?
I'm starting anew.
My stuff is garbage.
No, it's not.
Let me make a suggestion.
I'll tell you why.
Look at me.
When people say that, it's so funny because I did some of my old jokes when I
did the Montreal
Comedy Festival.
Yeah.
And it's online.
Some of them.
No, it was a stand-up show that I did.
Yeah, but not an hour.
I know, but it was still six minutes.
It got three views.
Okay.
No one gives a shit.
Can I suggest something and you can say no?
What?
Take away the...
Okay.
What if you record all your old jokes that you're going to throw away?
Yeah.
Okay?
Yeah.
Record them all.
Yeah.
And print them on records.
Uh-huh.
And print 25 of them.
Uh-huh.
Like a small amount, right?
And sell them for charity.
Okay.
That's a good thing.
Is that a good idea?
Can we talk back to the pandemic, though?
It makes you nervous.
Yeah, it does.
Don't be nervous.
Yeah.
You make me nervous.
Don't do that.
Don't transition into something that's not true because you're uncomfortable
with what's
going on with your head.
You do make me nervous.
About what?
It's different.
Why?
See, that's why.
What do you mean?
No, because I feel like you're going to bring up stuff that's going to, like,
because you
know my, um...
I'm not going to bring up insecurities.
I know, but I'm just saying you know...
I'm being very supportive.
I know, but I'm just saying that you know...
I know your spots.
I know, but I'm not touching any spots.
I know, but you know where my spots are within my body is, right?
And sometimes...
I'm an emotional massage therapist.
Yeah, no, but sometimes you'll say things and it's, like, around the spot,
right?
You're not really in the spot.
I'm not hitting it.
I know, but you're around it, right?
But the spot gets...
It pulsates.
Okay, okay.
You know what?
We can move on to the next thing, but I was just saying...
No, I want to talk about the pandemic, you fuck.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
You're right.
You've been a great guy.
Thank you.
And I apologize.
I love you.
I don't want to get...
I don't want to get into this...
But I don't want to talk...
You know why I don't want to talk about the pandy?
Because I'm sick of it.
You don't want to bring this guy fucking back on.
What do you mean?
Whitmer's the shit.
I thought the song was great.
I like it, so I want to talk about what he's saying.
Oh, tell me what he's saying.
No, I'm just saying in general, you know?
Yeah, tell me.
It's just that we don't...
It's just odd that in the last year, it just went by, and it's like that our
society and
everything, I don't know how to do anything anymore.
In terms of what?
Just in terms of like, I don't know what it's like to meet people or have
conversations with
people.
I don't talk to people.
But you didn't do that quite much when it wasn't.
I guess I didn't.
You weren't really a super social butterfly when it was normal.
Yeah, but I still knew how to...
I'll be honest with you, like when Jeff Scott died, we talked about it, right?
Yeah, it just is really sad.
I know.
Yeah.
So it's like, little things like that, it's like, Jeff Scott died.
And it's like, I wish, you know, that, number one, I believe that without the
pandemic, that
he could still be alive.
Yeah.
I mean, the only thing I heard, and I'll say this, is that Jeff, people know,
was the beloved
piano player for the comedy store for 25 years.
The only thing that might have contributed to his death, and I'm not spreading
rumors,
but I'm just saying maybe, was I had heard that Jeff was friends with a fair
amount of people
from the Hoover Crip gang.
He rolled deep with a gang from the Hoover Crips, from South Central Los
Angeles.
No.
No.
I almost believed you.
No, I know, I know.
I was thinking, you know what I mean?
But I sold it well.
Yeah, but Jeff was also the whitest guy you've ever met.
Yeah, the gay pianist from the comedy store was not rolling with Hoover Crips.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But can you imagine?
Oh, that would be amazing.
In a drive-by, he's playing the piano in the car.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, what's up, fool?
He's like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam,
bam.
Yeah, he was incredible.
But my point is, so let's go back to the...
And I miss him very fucking much.
Let's go back to the, and it's just...
You think he would have survived had the pandemic not happened?
Yeah, and there's other people like I, you know, I think that a lot of young
comics got fucked, too.
Oh, my God.
So many people.
How about just people got fucked?
Yeah, I had a kid call me.
You know, Dylan, the fat gay guy, Dylan?
Yeah.
You didn't have to tag those.
You could have just said Dylan, the kid who used to work at a comedy store.
He moved.
He's in Austin.
Right, so he called me.
He's like, I don't know what to do.
Or Austin?
Or where'd he move to?
He moved to Texas.
Yeah.
Because I don't know what to do because, you know, I might make any money here.
And my dream is here.
Yeah.
He went with Tony Hinchley.
Tony Hinchley, biggie.
Yeah, but...
Yeah, those guys moved down there for the Rogan train.
I know.
What do you think of that?
So many people.
I know.
I don't even know.
Do you want to go?
Tim Dillon's moving down there.
I know.
Do you want to go?
To Austin?
Yeah.
Look, I don't...
I don't...
We just got our houses, man.
Yeah, we just got our houses.
I mean, at the end of the day, it's like...
We just got our houses.
Yeah, it's like I'm paying mortgage on my house.
I'm not...
It's not...
Here's my other thing.
If you...
This sounds crazy, and I'm going to say this, and I mean this.
Everyone's like, you don't need to stay in L.A.
You don't need to be in L.A.
Okay, fine.
I get it.
I don't need to be in L.A. to do what we do.
Kind of.
You do.
You do.
Because those guys...
They say that, but they don't...
Also, those guys, right?
Guys like Tony and those guys, they don't have, like, dream...
I...
You and I...
They don't have dreams.
They don't have dreams.
No, I don't know.
They don't have dreams.
But you don't...
No, no, they don't work in Hollywood, Hollywood.
They don't want to, like, get on a movie or TV or act.
Right.
They're not actors.
And that's why...
Not that I'm an actor, but I like doing it.
You are an actor.
And it's a part of my...
It's a part of what I do, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
So it's like, I like the challenge of it.
Right.
Those guys aren't in the...
That's what I'm saying.
They're not in the acting side of Hollywood.
And they want to be, some of them.
I think a lot of them don't.
Yeah, but some of them do.
I don't know if Tony...
Tony, I don't think he goes out for stuff like that or...
But he's had said stuff that would be like, I can't...
I can't get anything.
Oh, I didn't know he goes out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just didn't know how much he goes out.
But, I mean, like, Segura, he doesn't...
He acts only if they ask him.
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
So they're moving down there.
Yeah.
Tim Dillon doesn't...
I mean, he...
Tim does whatever the fuck he wants, which is why he's genuinely killing it
harder than anybody else in the comedy game.
I mean, no one is funnier and puts out more consistent shit
than Tim Dillon.
I mean, who else would move down?
I mean, you know, I'm sure Whitney will probably go down there.
No.
Yeah.
Dude, at some point, I think all those people will go down there.
Me and you are going to be the only people in L.A.
But then what happens when the clubs open back up?
Then we own L.A.
Right?
You and me, Chang.
We're running this town.
How great would that be?
You and me in L.A.?
Yeah.
You and me in L.A.