Name: How Deebak Chopra Saved Bobby Lee | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2021-02-19T21:15:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Deebak Chopra Saved Bobby Lee | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Deebak Chopra Saved Bobby Lee | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-19. Transcript available.

We're bad friends.
You know my story with Deepak Chopra, have I told you?
No.
I've never told you about my Deepak Chopra.
No, you have an interaction with Chopra?
There is a little bit of an interaction.
Not fully, I've never met the man.
Sure.
But my life has kind of, for a second, revolved around it.
What happened?
So, you know who Jason Galern is?
The comedian.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
So I used to walk around the commerce store with boils on my face.
What?
What do you mean?
Pimples?
They were just bigger than pimples.
My mom gets on her head.
I used to get them on my face.
You have to get lasered off or whatever?
No, I would do a home remedy.
What was your remedy?
Which would fuck my face up even more.
What was the remedy?
I didn't know what to do because I had no money, right?
When I was a young comic.
And I would get these gigantic boils.
So what I would do is I would go to 7-Eleven.
Uh-uh.
Yes.
Yeah.
And I would buy ice cubes.
Yeah.
Right?
So I'd take a bag of ice cubes, right?
And I'd go to the bathtub in my little apartment in Silver Lake.
Yeah.
Right?
And I would take hot water and pour, like, you know, like the faucets here.
And I'd probably face over it and it would steam it.
Right?
And then I would take ice cubes and then freeze it.
Oh, my God.
And I would do that repetitively.
And eventually what happens, a white head would form.
And then you'd pop it.
And I would pop it.
It would just be Niagara Falls.
It would spray out on my face.
So I was getting these boils on my face.
And I used to hang out at the store.
Yeah.
Like that.
Yeah.
Just boil face bomb.
Boil face.
Yeah.
BFB.
And one time Jason Guerlain goes, man, you look like shit.
And he's not a male model.
I know.
I mean, you look like you're stressed out.
Yeah.
I go, yeah, I can't get anything going, man.
I can't get an agent.
You know, I'm stressed out.
I have no money.
I don't have no future.
Pre-Mad TV.
Yeah.
Before.
He goes, two words for you, bud.
I go, what?
He goes, Deepak Chopra.
What?
Yeah.
Deepak Chopra is all he said.
Yeah.
I go, what is that?
I thought it was a food.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Sounds like a food.
Like, I don't have the money, you know what I mean, to go to that restaurant or
whatever.
And so he goes, yeah, at that time at the Rolling Stone magazines, he wasn't on
the cover, but there was an article about him.
In Rolling Stone.
Yeah.
So he goes, go buy the Rolling Stones and read this article.
Right.
Right.
So I go to the 7-Eleven.
I think I steal one.
Oh, if that sounds about right.
Yeah.
And I read the article.
And I go, I can't get any of these books.
I have no money.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
So a miracle happened.
I'm not kidding you.
Okay.
What?
So I prayed about it that week.
So then that weekend.
You prayed to God, get me Deepak Chopra's books.
Books, right.
So then that weekend, I was, you know how if you lived in Hollywood and you
were a doorman back then, you could open sometimes on the weekends in Mahoya.
Right.
So I was hosting for Tamayo Atsuki.
Nope.
Yeah, you don't know her?
No.
Please don't do that.
She eats cats.
Oh.
Friend of the pod.
Yeah.
Is she alive still?
I have this.
So Tamayo Atsuki.
Is she alive?
Yeah.
Shout her out then.
Tamayo, hope you're good.
Hope the feline feast is good.
Tamayo Atsuki used to date Sam Kinison.
Oh, that makes sense.
The cat eating thing ends up now.
She used to wear a kimono on stage.
She was like, you know, in terms of Asians, like one of the first Asian female
comics, way before Margaret.
Yeah, well, this has to be.
Have you seen photos of her at the store, like in the yearbook and stuff?
I've seen those photos.
I thought that was.
And she has a neon light in the OR.
Oh, she does.
Yeah, so this is Tamayo Atsuki.
Yeah.
So she was on a sitcom.
Which one?
I forgot what it was called.
It was canceled right away.
But she used to date Sam Kinison.
Yeah.
And then she went crazy, and then she started living in the jungles of Hawaii.
Oh, cool.
Right?
And then one time, years later, I don't know how long, I saw her, and she
looked like, she didn't look good.
Like she was dying.
Like she looked homeless.
Like the cats had caught up to her.
No, she goes, I live in Hawaii now.
I go, really?
That's nice.
No, I live in the jungle.
I'm not kidding you.
So I go, you live in the jungle?
Yeah.
And she showed me a photo.
I eat a cat.
Right?
Yeah.
I don't know if she was being real or not.
No, she's being real.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, she's being real.
And you could see like a hut that she had made in the middle of the jungle,
right?
And she had some sort of like makeshift rock table that she had made.
Yeah.
And there was like sliced up little meats.
I eat the cat, right?
And I go, you want to go up, you know what I mean?
So I was opening for Tamayo.
Yeah.
So after, right?
So I'm on stage.
I'm on stage and I look down and there's this white chick in the front row.
Yeah.
And she's just like, look at me like this, right?
Like she's going to kill you.
And I, no, I knew her.
Oh.
But I couldn't like really remember how.
Because you know, I grew up in San Diego, right?
Yes.
Then I look, I go, Katie?
She goes, and it was a girl that I used to work with named Katie.
Okay.
So after the show, I go, what are you doing?
And I had boils on my face.
She said, you look like shit.
And she goes, I work, I'm Deepak Chopra's assistant.
Shut the fuck up.
Really?
So I go.
Did you almost start crying?
I would have started crying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, something was happening.
Yeah.
Right?
So I was getting like goosebumps.
Of course.
The whole thing, right?
Of course.
And I go, he lives here?
She goes, yeah, come on by tomorrow.
It was like right down the street.
The Deepak Chopra.
He's no longer there.
Right.
But there used to be a Deepak Chopra learning center there.
Uh-huh.
Right?
Uh-huh.
So the next day, I go over there.
And she just handed me a bunch of books.
She's taking it.
Shut up.
Right?
So I take it.
So this is really, and people are going to make fun of me for this, but.
No, they won't.
I started reading it.
Reading the books you were given?
Yeah.
That math adds up.
Shut the fuck up.
Fuck you.
So I started reading them.
Yeah.
And I started applying them in my life.
Like really putting them into practice.
I'm not kidding you.
Give me an example.
So like in the seven spiritual laws of success.
Yeah.
Right?
One of the laws was, you know, in order to achieve success, you have to help
other people
achieve success.
Correct.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Okay.
Give to get.
Right.
So what I would do is I would like, you know, set up showcases because I had a
year
with Mitzi.
Right.
So I would get people like I brought Brody to the comedy store.
I helped Kevin Christie become a standup.
You know what I mean?
Wow.
And that was all during that time period of like getting them in, you know what
I mean?
In front of Mitzi or getting them a doorman job.
So you were helping people a lot.
I was doing everything I can to help people.
And I'm not kidding you.
Yeah.
In three months, my whole life changed.
Now, have you continued to put those things in practice?
Stopped.
Right.
I stopped.
That's good.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm done.
I'm done with that.
Because once I got in, I'm like, once you get in the water.
You're in.
You're swimming.
So I'm on the surf, but now I can ride the waves.
Yeah, now you're riding.
So I had to get in the water.
But wait till that tsunami comes.
Right.
And I'm going to, yeah, yeah.
You're going to kill everyone.
Bye, Andrew.
Bye, everybody.
Yeah, yeah.
It'll be gone.
Bye, everybody.