Name: Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee Get Back at Theo Von, Brendan Schaub, Chris Distefano, and Sal Vulcano
Uploaded: 2021-03-10T19:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee Get Back at Theo Von, Brendan Schaub, Chris Distefano, and Sal Vulcano' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee Get Back at Theo Von, Brendan Schaub, Chris Distefano, and Sal Vulcano' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-10. Transcript available.

We're bad friends.
You're friends from another podcast.
We're talking shit about you guys.
These guys won't give up.
I heard about it.
Yeah, these guys won't give up.
I heard about it.
Oh, I wanted to bring up this to you guys.
I don't know if you saw bad friends.
They were, they fired some shots at you guys.
It was actually a response to Theo calling out Bobby, called him sleepy.
It was a response.
He started the war.
You know how you can tell he has an eye that just wanders sometimes.
But what about these two douches are doing, right?
Is that you're trying to provoke a war with real warriors.
Right, with real warriors.
Yeah, yeah.
They're trying to provoke a war with true warriors.
Yeah, you know what?
We have mental capacities.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here's the thing.
You and I say we're stupid all the time.
Yeah.
We do that as a fun, we go, we're dumb and we're not that smart.
These two guys?
Yeah.
Honestly?
They said two guys.
I'm not kidding.
Pound for pound.
Be united.
The dumbest people I've ever met in my life.
I doubt that.
I doubt that.
It was a lot more of the same than that.
Just taking shots.
And who are these guys?
I'm sorry.
Look, are they trying to do a shitty version of King of this thing?
Pause it.
What?
Yeah.
Bring up the numbers.
Who's doing better?
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
We don't want to do that.
All right, stop.
We don't want to do that.
But also.
Yeah.
Bring up the numbers.
No, no, no.
Don't.
We don't want to go down that road.
I know, don't.
But also.
Because we could have a bad week.
Yeah.
Bring up the numbers.
I understand.
I understand.
No, we shouldn't.
Because we know the numbers.
I know.
They're better.
And it feels good.
It feels good.
Bring up the numbers.
No.
But honestly.
But my point is that they're great guys.
They are.
I'll admit one of these guys is a great comic.
You know.
Pause it.
It's tough to.
Yeah.
What do you think he's talking about?
No, but you know what I mean.
Yeah.
No, the numbers are right.
But who do you think he's talking about?
He's saying that you're a great comic.
I'm not.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he's doing this to try to divide us.
I know what he's trying to do.
Mm-hmm.
I don't care.
I think you're a way better comic than I am.
I think you're a one.
Play the video.
Okay, go ahead.
This is good.
Hey, by the way, good tactic.
I'll say this.
I work for them.
And here's the deal with what they don't realize is that there's nothing that
can destroy this.
It's a bond for life.
Yeah, yeah.
It's so thick.
And these two.
They don't even.
These two out-of-work reality stars.
Go ahead.
What else, dude?
Look, these are great guys.
You know.
I remember.
That's what we say about them.
I was there for Bobby.
And Bobby doesn't like to talk about this.
But when he.
Bobby, a lot of people do not know, auditioned to be in.
Find it.
A.
Find it.
Find a life.
Find it.
I don't want to get the wrong E's, but I want to say Japanese or Korean E's.
Korean E's.
And he.
It was a.
What's the group of.
It's like the people and they can't.
They're kind of smaller and they're getting older, but they.
They're trying to get that lady at the.
Diamond mine or something I'm talking about.
No.
Seven dwarfs.
Seven dwarfs.
Oh.
So.
Bobby auditioned to be in that, dude.
And he was like the.
Eighth dwarf or something.
Bok choy.
And.
Didn't get it, bro.
And I remember reading the fucking scripts with him.
And his.
The lines were so easy.
You know.
It was like.
I'll wake her up.
You know.
Just like.
Yeah.
Basic shit, man.
Easy as shit.
Isn't it a Daniel Day-Lewis script you're saying?
Yeah.
And he went in there and just bombed it, you know.
Just fucking could not get it right.
Yeah.
And I was there for him after that.
And so.
Bobby and I have like a long history.
The history with the other guy.
Guys.
I.
Because of this, I checked out your INDB pages just to see, you know, who has
worked more.
Oh, who's worked more.
Oh.
And it's kind of interesting if you guys want to see.
I'd love to see.
Yeah.
I'd love to see.
Thank you.
I haven't ever.
I've never looked.
I've never looked either.
All right.
Let's see.
So.
Let's see.
Let's see.
Whoa.
Whoa.
75 credits there.
Who is that?
Who is that?
Me?
Yeah.
That's you.
And he's 15.
That's close.
Not.
Yeah.
That's pretty close.
What is 75 minus 15?
50.
I did 50 more things.
50 more.
But also what things?
Because I think he is in short films and a little bit of like.
60 more things.
Well, he's probably done some really big stuff.
Namcar Night Race official music video.
Pretty good.
That probably was pretty heavy.
Pretty good.
Burning Man Dan 2.
Great movie.
Great movie.
They should have won an Oscar, but he got snubbed.
I can't believe they got snubbed.
He got snubbed.
And yeah.
Some other bangers.
There's some other bangers.
Oh, he did Bad Babies music video.
That's also.
That's actually pretty awesome.
Go up there.
That's pretty good.
Oh, but look what it says.
Bad Babies music video.
Child Predator Pedophile.
That's what he played?
Yeah.
Okay.
Cool.
And then you can see also Andrew versus Brendan.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's see.
I did how many things?
30 things.
Pretty good.
One.
One thing.
That's very funny.
But the one thing he did was great.
It was phenomenal.
Yeah.
What was it?
Fighter and the Kid 3D.
3D.
Anyway, these guys are.
We love those dudes.
They're up and coming.
They're on their way.
They're newbies.
So just let them let a couple more years and then they may one day get to our
level.
It'll pop.
They might get to our level.
It'll pop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'll pop.
They're very good dudes.
We love them both.
Shout out to.
Yeah, to Johnny Schwab and Jason.
To Schwab and Baum.
Schwab and Baum.
Schwab and Baum.
We love those dudes, man.
What else they got to say?
You want to see the rest of whatever they got to say?
Not really, but let's keep going.
By the way, let's make it known again.
They started this bullshit.
We didn't come at them.
Yeah, it's.
But you know what?
Because, you know.
We got a lot of people that are trying to start shit with us, including Chrissy
Chaos and Sal Vulcano over there.
Yeah.
They sent us a bag of shit, and we have our retaliation on the table.
You know what we're going to do to them, right?
We decided as a group that we want to give them a little slice of home, a
little spice of life.
Yeah.
So we've got some buzzers.
I've got my trimmer here.
I think we give them a bag of our pubes.
What do you say, kiddo?
I have a lot of pubes right now.
I'd love to shave them.
All right.
Rudy, you've got to leave the room for this inappropriate bit that we're about
to do, obviously.
I would love to shave them.
So please get out of the room.
Rudy.
Yeah, we're shaving pubes now.
Yeah, obviously.
Insane.
Get out.
All right.
Okay, come on in here and bring them.
Where are the shavers?
Do you even know who this is, by the way?
He's great.
Randy.
Do you know his name?
Randy John.
Randy?
Yeah.
You think his name's Randy?
Yeah, he's the best.
It's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my entire life.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
So how can we make sure we get this in the bag?
How do we get in the bag?
I don't know.
Hand.
You put it on the table, and then you put it in your hand.
How?
I'll show you.
All right.
Well, no, no, no.
You've got to open the bag first somehow.
No, you put it on the table, and you scoop it up and put it in the bag.
And then you shuffle it in the bag?
Yeah.
Good call.
Let's, okay, go ahead.
You go.
Let's, uh, should we do it at the same time?
Hold on.
Hold on.
We should do it at the same time, Bob.
Hold on.
Yeah.
All right.
Hold on, Bob.
Hold on, please.
Rudy, close your eyes.
Rudy, don't go.
Rudy, you're not allowed to look.
I am.
All right.
Look at how hairy.
Look at how hairy I am.
Oh, my God.
Look at, I've never seen orange pubes like that before.
I hate it.
It's a lot, right?
Okay.
We should mix it.
No, we should mix the orange and the black in one bag.
Oh, you're right.
That's funny.
Yeah, that way they get it together because we are, we're, we're a unit.
Yeah.
Great.
Gross.
So many pubes.
It hurts.
All right.
So, um.
Pubes everywhere.
Let's do this as a ritual.
There's an old, there's an old Korean ritual.
Yeah.
You eat one little hair, I eat one of your hairs.
What ritual is that?
It's a Korean wood ritual.
Is it really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I feel like I've never heard of that before.
So, I eat one of, one of your hairs.
It'll bond us for life.
I have to eat one of your pubes and you have to eat one of mine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we have to stick it, see it, see it on the tongue.
I'll go first.
Okay.
All right.
Look at the fluff there.
There's pubes on my phone.
Oh, dude, please.
This is, that's a lot.
Honestly, this looks like, um, Muppet hair.
Please don't do it.
It looks like Muppet hair.
Don't do it, don't do it.
Oh, my God.
How does it taste?
Go ahead.
Get some.
Look at how long that one is.
Yeah, yeah.
Stick it in your mouth.
Stick it in your mouth.
No, stick it in your mouth.
No, I didn't see you do it.
It's in.
No, you threw it away, dude.
I put it in my mouth.
That's fucking bullshit, dude.
I put it in my mouth.
I'll give you a piece.
I'll give you a piece.
No.
I'll stick it in your mouth.
No.
No.
You're a man, dude.
No.
Yeah, I have to see it.
Because you know I, no, give me your mouth.
No, look at how many pubes that is.
I will put it all in.
You didn't put any in your mouth.
Yes, I did.
This is like first communion.
It's like what?
First communion.
Camera's on.
Camera's on.
Okay.
No, that's so many.
Put your fucking hand up.
The camera's on, dude.
Don't be a fucking dick, dude.
Let's see what she'll do.
Oh.
There we go.
There we go.
There we go.