Name: Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee's Date Night Keeps Going Wrong | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2021-05-03T02:30:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee's Date Night Keeps Going Wrong | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee's Date Night Keeps Going Wrong | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-03. Transcript available.

- We're bad friends.
- We should go on a date.
- You and I?
- Yeah.
Why don't we go on a date?
- We'll film it.
- Why don't we go on a real date?
I'm dead serious.
- It's so gross, dude.
- Would you go on a date with me, Theo?
Please?
But take it serious.
- All right.
- But I'm serious, like take it for real.
- Okay.
- Dress up, look nice.
- All right, let's do the date now.
- Do your makeup, do your hair.
- No, I wanna go--
- We're at a restaurant.
- I wanna go to a real date.
- No, we will.
But let's, so let's, how does it work?
- I pick you up?
- Well then, Rudy, I pick you up.
- I pick you up.
- No, I am the guy.
- No, you pick me up.
- I pick you up.
- Will you pick me up on time?
- You won't be ready, so I'll be late.
- You know me well.
- I know.
- Very good.
That gets me aroused a little bit
'cause we have a connection there.
- So, Rudy, you're our server.
- Okay.
- All right, no, you pick me up first.
You're not at the restaurant yet.
- All right, sorry.
- Yeah.
What's up, man?
You know, walk out the door and say hi
and walk down the steps.
- What?
- Oh, there he is.
- Close the door?
- Yeah.
- Hi.
- Hi, Bob.
Get in.
- Hey, Andy.
- Get in.
- Are you gonna open the...
- Oh my God, I'm sorry.
I get out, I open the door.
- And then close the door.
Thank you.
Yeah.
- And then we would have to talk about something
that's a little uncomfortable.
- Well, you look...
- No, I would probably do this.
- You look nice tonight.
- I go, do you...
You would this?
You would open with that?
You look so intimate.
- You look nice tonight.
- Thank you.
You know, it's funny.
I would say something nervous because, right?
So I'll go,
yeah, because I just joined Amazon.
You know, I figured out how to get Amazon stuff
and I got these new men's soap.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
So I got a collection in a box and one of them's like patchouli
but one of them is this charcoal one.
- Yeah.
- And so like, you know, I saved the charcoal one,
you know, for a special occasion.
- Yeah, you smell good.
- Thank you for noticing.
- Well, let's go.
You ready to go get some food?
- Where are we gonna go?
- It's a surprise.
- Okay.
And then we would have another awkward thing where I'd go.
- We'd speak at the same time like a bad movie.
You know, we'd go like this.
- So I...
- Oh, first.
Go ahead.
- Go ahead.
- Oh, you go there.
- I'll go.
- Meets go?
- Go ahead.
- Oh no, I'm getting pulled over.
Oh no.
- Wait, are your tags up to date?
- No, I think everything is okay.
Oh, hi, officer.
How can I help you?
- Why were you speeding up?
- Oh gosh.
I didn't think I was speeding.
Yeah, we were just...
- You were going over 60.
- Wow.
- Was I?
- Wow.
- What's the speed limit here?
- 55.
- And you, just, may I interrupt?
- Sorry.
- So you thought that five miles per hour was a little too much for you to
handle?
- Yes.
- And you pulled us over?
- Yes.
- Wow, okay.
- Well, let me do this.
I'm on a date.
- You're gonna give us a ticket then?
- No, not yet.
I'm on a date.
I'm on a date as you can see.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Where are you going?
- Well, it's a surprise.
- It's a surprise.
- It's, yeah.
- I've known him for years and then we just started, we realized.
- We just wanted to try it out.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That's really sweet.
- Okay.
- So, do you think we could be on our way?
- Okay, okay.
I can let you go.
- Thank you, officer.
Appreciate it.
- Have a good night.
- Have a good night.
- You too, bye.
- Yeah, did you urge?
Oh, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, I was nervous.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
- It's the same, it's the same cop.
What the fuck is there?
- Officer.
- Officer, what's the problem?
- I forgot.
What were your names?
- Why would that ever matter?
Why would it matter what our names are?
- I just like taking gay people's names.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's your badge number?
What is your badge number?
- What?
- Yeah, we're gonna report her.
We're gonna report this over.
- You like taking gay people's names?
- Oh my God.
- Officer Dominguez, write that down, right?
What's your number?
6743, write that down.
We'll be on our way, thank you so much.
- Officer Dominguez, I'm Andrew and that's Bob
and we are offended.
- Yeah, Bob.
- We're outta here.
- No, I support gay people.
- Yeah, but for you to pull us over and, no.
- Well, why do you need our names?
- Yeah, why do you need our names?
- I like to keep it on my house.
- You like to keep it on your house.
- So you pull over gay people, you get their names,
and you just kind of like, you know,
write it on the walls of your house?
- Yes.
- Wow.
- Okay.
- Okay, we get it now.
- Well, we'll be on our way.
- Have a good night.
- Thank you.
- Bye bye, please don't, okay, let's just go.
- What was that about?
- That was crazy.
- I mean, and it's like, it's, what, what, you know.
- Woo, woo.
- No, fucking.
- I can't believe it.
- This is not real.
- There she is again.
- Oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- What could you possibly want?
- What do you mean?
- I just smelled a perfume that I really wanted to buy
the store where you-
- Oh, thank you.
Oh, so it's like, what's this, it's, it's, it's men's nature.
It's the company, right?
And if you go to Amazon, right, it comes in six pack
and one of them's charcoal.
And that's what I've been using.
It's not really a perfume, it's a soap,
but it's a scented soap.
- Just like a soap, yeah.
- Yeah, so yeah.
We really are late for our reservation.
- We've gotta go.
- Let me ask you something right now, Officer Dominguez,
because I have a feeling that you might want
to pull us over again.
So, so, so we get everything out now, right?
All the things that you want to ask me now.
- Please.
- 'Cause we're really late for our reservation.
- Um, do you have any, um, hairstyle that you would say?
- Hairstyle?
Well, I like the Roman cut.
I like the Roman cut.
I also like, uh, when they shave the sides,
what do they call it?
When they shave the sides.
- No, for me.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Your hair looks great, Officer Dominguez.
- Maybe some bangs, do like a bob bang thing.
- You could easily get off, get away with bangs.
- Should I get a tattoo?
- Um, we don't know you at all.
- What would your tattoo be?
- Ew, yo.
- Um, I lost my dog, so I wanted to.
- Oh, so you lost his dog?
- So you want to tattoo your dog?
- Yeah.
- Officer Dominguez.
- Officer Dominguez.
- I'm gonna throw this out there.
This is crazy, but do you want to just come with us
to dinner?
- Sure.
- Wonderful.
- Just park your car.
- Oh no, no, no, no.
I don't want to interrupt your first date.
- No, it's fine.
- It's fine.
- You already have three times.
- We're just afraid that you're gonna pull us over again, so.
- Right.
- Okay.
- Do you promise not to pull us over again?
- I promise.
- Okay.
- Okay, so you're not coming with us.
- You're not coming with us.
And so you've asked every question that you want,
you're not gonna pull over again?
- Yes.
- Okay, thank you.
- Have a good night.
- Have a good night, Officer Dominguez.
- Thank you, Officer Dominguez.
- All right.
- All right, let's go.
- So let's go, please, good God.
- That was crazy, I've never experienced it.
- Finally.
We're here at the restaurant.
- Yeah, we're here.
- Oh my God.
So what do you think about it?
Have you ever seen this place?
- Oh, Luigi's.
- Luigi's.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's delicious.
- Yeah.
- Is it based on the Mario Brothers?
- Well, the irony is it's Luigi's,
but it's actually Argentinian food.
- Wow.
- Yeah, have you ever had it?
- Not really, no.
It's breaded chicken.
- It's steaks, a lot of steaks and chim-churri sauce
and stuff like that.
You're gonna love it.
- Okay, good.
Oh, there's the host down there.
There's the host, let's, hello, sir.
- Hello, sir.
- Hello.
- Hello, welcome to Luigi's.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- I guess there's a reservation
under the name of Santino?
- It's actually.
- What?
- It's Santinely, 'cause I thought we would.
- That's cute.
- That's really cute.
- Yeah, Santinely.
- Santinely?
- Is there a Santinely here for 8:30?
- Uh, no, I'm sorry.
- What the fuck?
- Wait, I called and.
- Did you call?
- I made it on open table.
I put it on open table and I also called
and made sure that you guys still had the table
on the terrace that I requested.
- It's embarrassing.
- I don't see it here.
Maybe you guys can take it to go.
Hold on, one second, one second.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
First of all, I'm sorry.
It's under Santinely, but this is Andrew Santino
and my name is Bobby Lee.
- This is Bobby Lee.
Maybe you know who we are.
- And we're both comedians.
We have a podcast called Bad Friends.
- It's pretty popular.
- Oh, I thought that was with Tom Segura
and Bert Kreischer.
- Okay, embarrassing.
- What's your name, sir?
- Yeah.
- Pete.
- Man, do you not sound like a Pete, but-
- Pablo.
- Oh, Peter, Petey Pablo.
- Peter Pablo.
- The rapper, Petey Pablo?
You're the rapper, Petey Pablo?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well, listen here, Pete Pablo.
I have a weird feeling and you can say I'm wrong,
but are you not giving us our table
because we're two guys on a date?
- Yeah, it looks a little bad for our clientele.
- That's disgusting.
- Oh, that's disgusting.
- You know, we don't want to eat at a place like Luigi's.
You know, because this is-
- Yeah, yeah.
- Woo, woo!
- What?
- In the restaurant?
- In the restaurant?
- Pete Pablo, hi!
- Hello, Officer Dominguez.
- Hi, Officer Dominguez.
- I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to Pete Pablo.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, wow.
- Holy shit.
- No, Pete Pablo.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, you guys are part of the-
- Go ahead and have a conversation.
- Yeah, sorry.
- He's my brother.
- Oh, no.
- That makes sense.
- The gay collection of names.
- The gay collection of names.
- Refusing me a table.
- Yeah, wow.
- Wait, he's refusing a table?
- Because we're on a date.
Yes.
- Yeah.
- Pete.
No, I love gays.
You have to let them in.
Pete, let them in.
- Let us have a table, Pete.
Would that be okay?
- That's it, Pete.
- Okay.
- All right, thank you.
- The corner table over there.
- Thank you, Officer Dominguez.
We really appreciate it.
- Um, can I sit with you?
- Honestly.
- We might as well.
- We have to at this point.
- We might as well at this point.
- Have to at this point.
- Okay.
- Come sit with us.
- Oh, let's put up a chair.
Let me take out, let me pull your chair off.
- Thank you.
- No problem.
And Dominguez, I'll do this for you as well.
- Thank you.
- Just because we're here.
There's our server.
Hi, uh, hey, hi.
- Hello.
- Oh, so you-
- Oh, you do hosting and-
- It's a one-man shop.
- Do you cook as well?
- I do.
- Oh.
- Oh, okay.
- Are you Argentinian?
- I am.
- Wow.
- Okay, wow, all right.
- So do you have any specials?
- Chimichurri steak.
- Chimichurri steak, that's all you've got?
- That's it, that's it.
- Can we get a menu?
- Chimichurri steak.
- That's all they serve.
- That's all they serve.
- Is chimichurri steak.
- Okay, well, do you guys want to put in a drink order
or something like that?
Do you want something to drink, Dominguez?
- I want a lemonade.
- A lemonade for Dominguez.
- You have, worst of all,
'cause you only have Chimichurri steak here,
so what are the drinks options?
It doesn't seem like you would have lemonade.
- We have wine.
- Wine.
- And water.
- And water.
- Okay, with lemon, we can put lemon.
- You can put lemon in the water?
- Yep. - Or the wine?
- Would you like water, lemon water?
- Yes.
- Will that suffice?
I don't drink, I don't drink,
so I'll have just, I guess, a water.
I don't really want wine,
I'll just have some water as well.
Are you sure there's nothing,
there's like nothing else back there, huh?
- We have energy drinks.
- Oh! - Oh!
I'll have an energy drink.
What brand?
- We have Red Bulls.
- Perfect. - Oh, perfect.
I'll have a, you have a sugar-free Red Bull?
- No, only with sugar.
- Okay, I'll have a regular Red Bull.
- Fine, we'll take those.
- Yeah. - Thank you so much.
- What a weird restaurant.
- I mean, honestly, just Chimichurri steak.
- Wine? - Yeah.
- Chimichurri steak.
- Red Bull.
- Red Bull.
- And water. - And water, that's it.
- That's it.
- I don't know how they say business.
- So Dominguez, oh yeah, sir,
and we'll just take three steaks, obviously,
because we fucking can't choose anything.
- Can we, can we?
- Medium?
- Okay, do we have an option?
- Oh, the temperature.
- Yeah, can we do medium?
- No, yes, medium.
- That's the only thing you do?
- Yeah.
- I'd like medium rare if that's possible.
- No, that's not, they only have medium.
- You can just undercook it a little bit.
- They only have medium.
- The chef doesn't like suggestions, so.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
- So I guess we'll have three medium
- Chimichurri steaks. - Chimichurri steaks.
- I'll have a Red Bull.
You want a Red Bull?
- I'll take a Red Bull.
- Three Red Bulls, water, lemon water.
- Water's all around.
- Yeah, but no lemon for mine.
- No lemon for his, please.
- Yeah, yeah.
- And no ice in mine, please, if you could.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Did you get all that?
- Let me write it down.
- Why don't you?
- You can't memorize that?
- Can you repeat it back to us
so we make sure you have the order right?
- Yeah, yeah, you can't memorize that.
- I think you guys wanted this thing, right?
- Yes!
- Of course, that's precisely what we wanted.
Okay, three Red Bulls.
- Yes, please.
- And two waters.
One with ice, the other one with lemon.
- Yes, yes, please.
- We got it.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Sir, how are the steaks cooked?
- Medium.
- Medium.
- Okay, that's it.
- Okay, great.
- Oh, wow.
- Dominguez, how's the night been going for you?
- Really tough.
I just caught two--
- A couple of gays on the way out to a truck.
- Caught two lesbians.
- Where did you catch them?
What were they doing?
- What were they doing?
- They were speeding up.
Like the way we were speeding up five miles per hour
faster than the speed limit?
- Yes.
- Okay, so you caught them and was their infraction
was serious enough for you to pull them over?
- I was gonna let them go,
but they were really angry at me.
- Really?
- Oh, shit.
- They were mad because you pulled them over, so that's--
- How many times did you pull them over?
How many times did you pull them over?
- Five times.
- Five times?
- That's why they were angry.
- Yes.
- I had many questions about them.
- Oh, okay.
- All right.
Did you pull over anybody else?
- Did you let them go?
Did you let them go?
- Yeah, did you let them go?
- Yeah.
- Okay, good.
- I did.
- What were their names?
- What were their names?
Because you collect names.
- You collect names.
- Oh, yeah.
Their names were Jessica and Olivia.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- We know them.
- Yeah, Jessica and Olivia, we know them.
- Yeah, we know them.
They live over on 18th.
Oh, so that's good.
Did you have any other trouble tonight?
- I also met a couple of old people.
- Did you tell me, were they?
I'm assuming that they were gay.
- The one guy was bisexual and then the other was trans.
- Oh, okay.
- What's the second one?
- The other one was trans.
One was bi and one was trans.
- Were they together or?
- I don't know because they were talking really slow
so I just left them.
- Oh, 'cause they're old.
- Yeah.
- How old are we talking?
- Yeah.
- 85.
- 85?
- They were both 85.
85 trans.
- And bi guy?
- And a bi guy.
- Okay.
- I don't even know how you would get that information.
Did you ask them those?
- Yes.
- Oh, I see.
- Officer Dominguez, correct me if I'm wrong.
It seems like most of the people you pull over
and give offenses to are gay or in the LGBTQ community.
- I'm just interested in them.
- I know, but you could look up online or ask a friend.
Why do you have to pull us over?
- Officer Dominguez, let me ask you a question.
Are you bi or gay?
- No, I'm straight.
- Okay, well don't get so defensive.
- Yeah, really, really.
Jumped down my partner's throat there.
- Well, so why are you so interested?
- I just like their personalities, just the same as yours.
- Okay, that's very sweet.
- Can I ask you another question?
- Please.
- Please, we're here.
- We're here waiting for our steaks.
- When did you two first met?
- Well, we first met--
- We've known each other for a while.
- Over a decade.
- You know, we were both comedians over a decade ago.
- Oh, comedians.
- Yeah, and we met at the comedy star.
- Do you know Bert Kreischer?
- Oh, God.
- I like Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura.
- Yes, we know them.
- We know that.
- We know them.
Have you ever pulled them over?
- No.
- Because you know they're--
- No, they have families.
- Oh, I see, you know what I'm seeing a pattern.
- Officer Dominguez.
- I'm seeing an obvious pattern with the place.
- It's becoming a little apparent what's going on.
- Yeah, can you please, you know what?
You're very, you're offending me.
- Why?
- Because-- - Well, you know why.
- You know why.
- And you know why.
- And we need you to leave, please.
We don't want you--
- I wish you to leave the restaurant.
- Yeah, please.
- But I let you in this restaurant.
- Yeah, but--
- But I think it's just for your own benefit.
- Yeah.
- You're doing that for yourself.
Oh, here are the, here's the service.
Here's Pete, here's Pete.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Thank you, Pete, give it to him.
- You only have one, I thought you said--
- Give that to him, Pete.
- Okay, there's only one, okay, thank you.
- Mine's supposed to be room temp, no worries.
Thanks, thank you, Pete.
Pete, I'm good, I have my water.
- A lemon, okay.
Thank you, Pete. - So should I just leave?
The water is already here.
- I guess you could finish your water.
- Yeah, she can stay, I guess.
- Yeah, that's fine.
- Fine.
- Excuse me, Pete?
- Yeah?
- How much longer on the steak?
Because medium, I feel like might be done
pretty close to now.
Also, do we get any sides?
Yeah. - We didn't even ask for sides.
- There's nothing here.
- You guys can get fries or salad.
- Well, that could have been an option
in the beginning, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- See, we didn't ask, we just get the steak and that's it?
- We're out of fries.
- You're out of fries. - So we have to get the salad.
- All right, well, so can I have a salad?
- Can we get the salad?
- I guess.
- I guess, or you guess?
- He says he guesses.
- It's like the rudest--
- It's so rude.
- Can we pick a dressing or no?
- Is there dressing?
Olive oil and vinegar, that's it.
- That's all you've got.
- That's all I've got there, yeah.
- And let me guess, it's just lettuce and that's it.
- And chimchurri sauce, that's what I'm thinking it is.
- A little bit of tomato, too.
- A little bit of tomato.
- Okay, thank you.
Can we have some of those, please?
- We'll have some salads, please, while we're waiting.
You don't have soup?
This is such a steak, soup, salad.
- Yeah, you know, Andrew, this is a terrible place.
Have you eaten it before?
- No, no, I read one Yelp review.
- I did the Yelp review.
- That was you?
- That was you, you read?
- No.
- And I should've, you know what?
And you know what it said on there?
I should've known.
It said a great place for gays.
- Yeah.
- And that was a trap.
- It was a trap and that's why you were like,
gays, I'm thinking about, you know.
- 100%, a great place for gays is what it said.
And I just thought five stars, this has got to be the spot.
It was only Yelp review.
- Yeah.
- You know, Andrew, let's fuck, forget dinner.
Let's just fuck.
- Let's go.

Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee's Date Night Keeps Going Wrong | Bad Friends Clips

- We're bad friends.
- We should go on a date.
- You and I?
- Yeah.
Why don't we go on a date?
- We'll film it.
- Why don't we go on a real date?
I'm dead serious.
- It's so gross, dude.
- Would you go on a date with me, Theo?
Please?
But take it serious.
- All right.
- But I'm serious, like take it for real.
- Okay.
- Dress up, look nice.
- All right, let's do the date now.
- Do your makeup, do your hair.
- No, I wanna go--
- We're at a restaurant.
- I wanna go to a real date.
- No, we will.
But let's, so let's, how does it work?
- I pick you up?
- Well then, Rudy, I pick you up.
- I pick you up.
- No, I am the guy.
- No, you pick me up.
- I pick you up.
- Will you pick me up on time?
- You won't be ready, so I'll be late.
- You know me well.
- I know.
- Very good.
That gets me aroused a little bit
'cause we have a connection there.
- So, Rudy, you're our server.
- Okay.
- All right, no, you pick me up first.
You're not at the restaurant yet.
- All right, sorry.
- Yeah.
What's up, man?
You know, walk out the door and say hi
and walk down the steps.
- What?
- Oh, there he is.
- Close the door?
- Yeah.
- Hi.
- Hi, Bob.
Get in.
- Hey, Andy.
- Get in.
- Are you gonna open the...
- Oh my God, I'm sorry.
I get out, I open the door.
- And then close the door.
Thank you.
Yeah.
- And then we would have to talk about something
that's a little uncomfortable.
- Well, you look...
- No, I would probably do this.
- You look nice tonight.
- I go, do you...
You would this?
You would open with that?
You look so intimate.
- You look nice tonight.
- Thank you.
You know, it's funny.
I would say something nervous because, right?
So I'll go,
yeah, because I just joined Amazon.
You know, I figured out how to get Amazon stuff
and I got these new men's soap.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
So I got a collection in a box and one of them's like patchouli
but one of them is this charcoal one.
- Yeah.
- And so like, you know, I saved the charcoal one,
you know, for a special occasion.
- Yeah, you smell good.
- Thank you for noticing.
- Well, let's go.
You ready to go get some food?
- Where are we gonna go?
- It's a surprise.
- Okay.
And then we would have another awkward thing where I'd go.
- We'd speak at the same time like a bad movie.
You know, we'd go like this.
- So I...
- Oh, first.
Go ahead.
- Go ahead.
- Oh, you go there.
- I'll go.
- Meets go?
- Go ahead.
- Oh no, I'm getting pulled over.
Oh no.
- Wait, are your tags up to date?
- No, I think everything is okay.
Oh, hi, officer.
How can I help you?
- Why were you speeding up?
- Oh gosh.
I didn't think I was speeding.
Yeah, we were just...
- You were going over 60.
- Wow.
- Was I?
- Wow.
- What's the speed limit here?
- 55.
- And you, just, may I interrupt?
- Sorry.
- So you thought that five miles per hour was a little too much for you to
handle?
- Yes.
- And you pulled us over?
- Yes.
- Wow, okay.
- Well, let me do this.
I'm on a date.
- You're gonna give us a ticket then?
- No, not yet.
I'm on a date.
I'm on a date as you can see.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Where are you going?
- Well, it's a surprise.
- It's a surprise.
- It's, yeah.
- I've known him for years and then we just started, we realized.
- We just wanted to try it out.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That's really sweet.
- Okay.
- So, do you think we could be on our way?
- Okay, okay.
I can let you go.
- Thank you, officer.
Appreciate it.
- Have a good night.
- Have a good night.
- You too, bye.
- Yeah, did you urge?
Oh, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, I was nervous.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
- It's the same, it's the same cop.
What the fuck is there?
- Officer.
- Officer, what's the problem?
- I forgot.
What were your names?
- Why would that ever matter?
Why would it matter what our names are?
- I just like taking gay people's names.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's your badge number?
What is your badge number?
- What?
- Yeah, we're gonna report her.
We're gonna report this over.
- You like taking gay people's names?
- Oh my God.
- Officer Dominguez, write that down, right?
What's your number?
6743, write that down.
We'll be on our way, thank you so much.
- Officer Dominguez, I'm Andrew and that's Bob
and we are offended.
- Yeah, Bob.
- We're outta here.
- No, I support gay people.
- Yeah, but for you to pull us over and, no.
- Well, why do you need our names?
- Yeah, why do you need our names?
- I like to keep it on my house.
- You like to keep it on your house.
- So you pull over gay people, you get their names,
and you just kind of like, you know,
write it on the walls of your house?
- Yes.
- Wow.
- Okay.
- Okay, we get it now.
- Well, we'll be on our way.
- Have a good night.
- Thank you.
- Bye bye, please don't, okay, let's just go.
- What was that about?
- That was crazy.
- I mean, and it's like, it's, what, what, you know.
- Woo, woo.
- No, fucking.
- I can't believe it.
- This is not real.
- There she is again.
- Oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- What could you possibly want?
- What do you mean?
- I just smelled a perfume that I really wanted to buy
the store where you-
- Oh, thank you.
Oh, so it's like, what's this, it's, it's, it's men's nature.
It's the company, right?
And if you go to Amazon, right, it comes in six pack
and one of them's charcoal.
And that's what I've been using.
It's not really a perfume, it's a soap,
but it's a scented soap.
- Just like a soap, yeah.
- Yeah, so yeah.
We really are late for our reservation.
- We've gotta go.
- Let me ask you something right now, Officer Dominguez,
because I have a feeling that you might want
to pull us over again.
So, so, so we get everything out now, right?
All the things that you want to ask me now.
- Please.
- 'Cause we're really late for our reservation.
- Um, do you have any, um, hairstyle that you would say?
- Hairstyle?
Well, I like the Roman cut.
I like the Roman cut.
I also like, uh, when they shave the sides,
what do they call it?
When they shave the sides.
- No, for me.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Your hair looks great, Officer Dominguez.
- Maybe some bangs, do like a bob bang thing.
- You could easily get off, get away with bangs.
- Should I get a tattoo?
- Um, we don't know you at all.
- What would your tattoo be?
- Ew, yo.
- Um, I lost my dog, so I wanted to.
- Oh, so you lost his dog?
- So you want to tattoo your dog?
- Yeah.
- Officer Dominguez.
- Officer Dominguez.
- I'm gonna throw this out there.
This is crazy, but do you want to just come with us
to dinner?
- Sure.
- Wonderful.
- Just park your car.
- Oh no, no, no, no.
I don't want to interrupt your first date.
- No, it's fine.
- It's fine.
- You already have three times.
- We're just afraid that you're gonna pull us over again, so.
- Right.
- Okay.
- Do you promise not to pull us over again?
- I promise.
- Okay.
- Okay, so you're not coming with us.
- You're not coming with us.
And so you've asked every question that you want,
you're not gonna pull over again?
- Yes.
- Okay, thank you.
- Have a good night.
- Have a good night, Officer Dominguez.
- Thank you, Officer Dominguez.
- All right.
- All right, let's go.
- So let's go, please, good God.
- That was crazy, I've never experienced it.
- Finally.
We're here at the restaurant.
- Yeah, we're here.
- Oh my God.
So what do you think about it?
Have you ever seen this place?
- Oh, Luigi's.
- Luigi's.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's delicious.
- Yeah.
- Is it based on the Mario Brothers?
- Well, the irony is it's Luigi's,
but it's actually Argentinian food.
- Wow.
- Yeah, have you ever had it?
- Not really, no.
It's breaded chicken.
- It's steaks, a lot of steaks and chim-churri sauce
and stuff like that.
You're gonna love it.
- Okay, good.
Oh, there's the host down there.
There's the host, let's, hello, sir.
- Hello, sir.
- Hello.
- Hello, welcome to Luigi's.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- I guess there's a reservation
under the name of Santino?
- It's actually.
- What?
- It's Santinely, 'cause I thought we would.
- That's cute.
- That's really cute.
- Yeah, Santinely.
- Santinely?
- Is there a Santinely here for 8:30?
- Uh, no, I'm sorry.
- What the fuck?
- Wait, I called and.
- Did you call?
- I made it on open table.
I put it on open table and I also called
and made sure that you guys still had the table
on the terrace that I requested.
- It's embarrassing.
- I don't see it here.
Maybe you guys can take it to go.
Hold on, one second, one second.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
First of all, I'm sorry.
It's under Santinely, but this is Andrew Santino
and my name is Bobby Lee.
- This is Bobby Lee.
Maybe you know who we are.
- And we're both comedians.
We have a podcast called Bad Friends.
- It's pretty popular.
- Oh, I thought that was with Tom Segura
and Bert Kreischer.
- Okay, embarrassing.
- What's your name, sir?
- Yeah.
- Pete.
- Man, do you not sound like a Pete, but-
- Pablo.
- Oh, Peter, Petey Pablo.
- Peter Pablo.
- The rapper, Petey Pablo?
You're the rapper, Petey Pablo?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well, listen here, Pete Pablo.
I have a weird feeling and you can say I'm wrong,
but are you not giving us our table
because we're two guys on a date?
- Yeah, it looks a little bad for our clientele.
- That's disgusting.
- Oh, that's disgusting.
- You know, we don't want to eat at a place like Luigi's.
You know, because this is-
- Yeah, yeah.
- Woo, woo!
- What?
- In the restaurant?
- In the restaurant?
- Pete Pablo, hi!
- Hello, Officer Dominguez.
- Hi, Officer Dominguez.
- I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to Pete Pablo.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, wow.
- Holy shit.
- No, Pete Pablo.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, you guys are part of the-
- Go ahead and have a conversation.
- Yeah, sorry.
- He's my brother.
- Oh, no.
- That makes sense.
- The gay collection of names.
- The gay collection of names.
- Refusing me a table.
- Yeah, wow.
- Wait, he's refusing a table?
- Because we're on a date.
Yes.
- Yeah.
- Pete.
No, I love gays.
You have to let them in.
Pete, let them in.
- Let us have a table, Pete.
Would that be okay?
- That's it, Pete.
- Okay.
- All right, thank you.
- The corner table over there.
- Thank you, Officer Dominguez.
We really appreciate it.
- Um, can I sit with you?
- Honestly.
- We might as well.
- We have to at this point.
- We might as well at this point.
- Have to at this point.
- Okay.
- Come sit with us.
- Oh, let's put up a chair.
Let me take out, let me pull your chair off.
- Thank you.
- No problem.
And Dominguez, I'll do this for you as well.
- Thank you.
- Just because we're here.
There's our server.
Hi, uh, hey, hi.
- Hello.
- Oh, so you-
- Oh, you do hosting and-
- It's a one-man shop.
- Do you cook as well?
- I do.
- Oh.
- Oh, okay.
- Are you Argentinian?
- I am.
- Wow.
- Okay, wow, all right.
- So do you have any specials?
- Chimichurri steak.
- Chimichurri steak, that's all you've got?
- That's it, that's it.
- Can we get a menu?
- Chimichurri steak.
- That's all they serve.
- That's all they serve.
- Is chimichurri steak.
- Okay, well, do you guys want to put in a drink order
or something like that?
Do you want something to drink, Dominguez?
- I want a lemonade.
- A lemonade for Dominguez.
- You have, worst of all,
'cause you only have Chimichurri steak here,
so what are the drinks options?
It doesn't seem like you would have lemonade.
- We have wine.
- Wine.
- And water.
- And water.
- Okay, with lemon, we can put lemon.
- You can put lemon in the water?
- Yep. - Or the wine?
- Would you like water, lemon water?
- Yes.
- Will that suffice?
I don't drink, I don't drink,
so I'll have just, I guess, a water.
I don't really want wine,
I'll just have some water as well.
Are you sure there's nothing,
there's like nothing else back there, huh?
- We have energy drinks.
- Oh! - Oh!
I'll have an energy drink.
What brand?
- We have Red Bulls.
- Perfect. - Oh, perfect.
I'll have a, you have a sugar-free Red Bull?
- No, only with sugar.
- Okay, I'll have a regular Red Bull.
- Fine, we'll take those.
- Yeah. - Thank you so much.
- What a weird restaurant.
- I mean, honestly, just Chimichurri steak.
- Wine? - Yeah.
- Chimichurri steak.
- Red Bull.
- R