Name: Andrew Santino Is Suspicious Of New the UFO Videos Released by the Government | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2021-05-21T02:15:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Is Suspicious Of New the UFO Videos Released by the Government | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Is Suspicious Of New the UFO Videos Released by the Government | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-21. Transcript available.

we're bad friends how weird that the government now is acknowledging aliens do
you not see all
these reports now that they're like they're open now about it for all these
years that were like
that's a ufo that's a fucking ufo and the government's like no it's not and now
look up
any article they're like yeah okay it's a ufo well the little grays have been
living with us
probably about 70 years at least you know the little grays at least yeah at
least a little
look up look up little grays little tinies i told you about my little gray
bastards and i
no yeah have you been abducted no but i had an experience well what is it
and you're not gonna believe me i'm gonna i'm in and i'm being i'm really i
believe in aliens first
of all let me just say this now today obviously my tone is very serious it was
for a minute but we can
get back no no but this is that's why you know that when i talk about the
little grays that i'm being
serious i can feel it thank you i can feel it so a long time ago i was 17 years
old and i was in a
rehab for first or second stint it was my second one right or third one it was
my third one third
time's a charm yeah yeah i was at the mcdonald's center and i met this man wait
what i didn't hear
that they were mcdonald's center oh the mcdonald's center yeah like the mcdonald's
co-sponsors a
rehab yeah how's the food delicious oh yeah they're like while you're kicking
heroin get diabetes
yeah so anyway um i met this man there and he was like a 50 year old man he was
in the so i was in
the kids ward the teenage drug reward right you're there for 45 days and then
it was an adult ward but
sometimes we would get together and go to meetings and whatnot right so i met
this man there and um
his name is tom he's 50 years old or whatever and i would go to these men's
meet i would run into this
guy all the time he looked like a just a white accountant vibe yeah right and
one day uh you know
sometimes there's this thing after an a meeting where they go you know um the
meeting after the
meeting which is like you know all the guys or girls they go to a restaurant
and they socialize
it's drink coffee smoke cigarettes right eat all night yeah you eat right i've
seen you guys at
swingers they used to do it all the time yeah yeah yeah you don't like it i
just i just it just uh i i
can just you can go ahead i just when you walk in in there i'm like hey can we
get the table in the
back you know that that corner of swingers i used to love and they're like
there there's a group back
there i'm like it's the fucking addicts they're always back there and they're
drinking coffee all
night so they're never gonna give up they're never gonna leave they never leave
no i hate it
they always have the good table it's fine fucking addicts it's fine fucking
addicts i knew every
time i like there's a group back there i'm like god damn so anyway so after and
sometimes when you
go to a meeting um you go around to people and go hey you guys gonna go out and
eat no oh some
people are like that right and so one the day i was at a meeting and that
happened
you guys got going yeah but no no we're going somewhere else you know and
nobody but tom was
there this old guy he goes i'll eat with you
and i'm 17. okay all right where do you want to go he's like i love eating with
little boys
let's go to the delicatessen or whatever a deli yeah yeah i should call it
delicatessen delicatessen
so we go to the delicatessen and we're just sitting there eating and he goes um
you know
what i used to do right and i go what he goes i used to work for the military
you know and i go oh
and i'm just eating like an omelet i go oh that's interesting you know i mean i
can't wait to get out
of there he goes they're after me i love this guy why i love this guy he goes
they're after me
why is it only white guys i don't know why it's us and i i'm scared now because
you i'm from the
suburbs yeah at this point i've never seen a black person i don't know i don't
know so you think black
people are after no i don't know anything i don't know anything i don't know
anything if i saw an
american indian i would probably you mean cry with joy right pick up yeah yeah
i'm just like no no
i'm just like i'm innocent you're yeah because all my drug dealings and stuff
happened in powie san
diego from where i'm from tiny little neighborhood right a little neighborhood
so i don't know anything
outside this world okay right so i go oh cool and he goes um in fact uh they're
after me i go oh you
know i'm eating yeah okay and he goes i'm living out of my van and i go and now
i'm scared because
i've seen tv shows you know i mean this is where you die yeah and i know what
happens to little boys
in vans right all right he's like finish your omelet he goes uh did you hear
about the little grays
i know about the little grays he said and i go and i'm like what is now you're
interested i don't
know what what's the little gray he goes they live they've been living amongst
us for many many years
they live underneath one i don't know i don't remember which one i was young so
i don't remember
which which military you know i mean compound area 51 no it wasn't my area 51
it was some in somewhere
in virginia or whatever and he goes they live you know i mean amongst
themselves they're little they
can read they have telepathy they have kinetic powers and whatnot right yeah
and um they live amongst us
and i go oh and he goes i stole uh files from the military that's why they're
after me
right that's what he says to me right so i go oh and he goes i could show you
why is he showing a 17 year old boy i do right it's during the day though too
and the parking lot's
like you know what i mean okay packed so he said come out to the very popular
delicatessen come on
out to the van yeah so i go to the van let me show you the files in the van
yeah so he opens up the
back door right and i see a mattress right and i'm a now i'm in a point where
it's like i know i can
run right you're outside yeah he also he's an a he's a nice guy so um now i'm
not kidding you
on the side of this fucking van right there's a shotgun guns ammo inside yeah
inside yeah there's
files right there's like a suit yep right there's clothing in the corner of the
van right um i think
there's like a little stove yep he's got to eat he's got to eat right but it's
like you know it look
like you know a zombie apocalypse van it looks like a crazy person who steals
little asian boys and takes
them in the van and says no that's not true and he goes in the van comes out
with these military
documents as far as you know as far as i know but you know i've never seen a
military document before
that's why they looked legit with the stamps gotta have a stamp what do you
mean military always
stamp stuff yeah there's photographs if there's anything you know about the
military they stamp
photographs photographs cut to so i see them right and i go anyway i gotta go
home i'm in school
right so you know i go home and then maybe a year later i don't see him for a
year
tom's gone yeah i see him a year later and now he looks different his eyes are
like bug-eyed
he's got like hair like this drugs no okay right and he just looks skinny drugs
and he looks fearful
drugs okay i don't know right don't make assumptions well he was in a yeah you're
just mad about the
swingers go ahead you're mad about swingers i know what happened okay go ahead
okay i go hey man how's
it going he goes i don't have long left right drugs i and then i never saw him
again yeah yeah this is
drugs no probably he died of drugs not a military got him the alien heroin the
military and was like
the military the military you think the military little guys got him yeah yeah
look up ufo look
up government government admits ufo don't hold your breath for a breakthrough
but still the department
of defense confirmed just they're here but isn't it they're here don't you
remember when we were kids
when we were kids yeah all we ever heard was they were like that's bullshit it's
fake that the government
shut it down constantly right yeah they used to be like that's not true yeah
there is no ufo
the moon landing was real you know they told us all these lies the earth is
round all these lies
they've given us over the years i know
Thank you.