Name: You Have to Be Careful What You Watch on Airplanes w/ Andrew Santino and Chris Distefano
Uploaded: 2021-05-28T05:15:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'You Have to Be Careful What You Watch on Airplanes w/ Andrew Santino and Chris Distefano' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'You Have to Be Careful What You Watch on Airplanes w/ Andrew Santino and Chris Distefano' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-28. Transcript available.

- We're bad friends.
- You know what I don't like watching stuff on the plane
because you can feel people looking at your screen?
- Yes.
- I don't like that.
- I don't like that either.
- iPad needs to come out with like a thing
that just attaches to my eyes
so I can just stare at it.
No one can see it.
- One time on a flight, this was like 2019,
I was on a flight and I was reading a book
and the name of the book is "The Nazi Symbiosis"
and it has a big swastika.
- Okay.
- And I was reading it and it's about how the Nazi--
- And the whole time you're just going.
- Dying laugh.
- No, no, no.
It's, I think I've told the story once on,
I probably told the story once on another podcast,
but it just, what you're saying, this is a real thing.
I was sitting next to a woman.
I didn't realize, you know, I was always in the aisle seat
so she could see the cover 'cause I was like that.
And there was a part in this book, "The Nazi Symbiosis,"
which is really about, it's kind of like about Nazi
and like the eugenics and like how like the mind,
how their minds turned into doing what they did.
It's like follows that.
So one part, but they would talk about like the horrors
of the Holocaust and there's a part in the Holocaust
where they, it's not funny.
- Well, you're laughing already.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
They wanted to like Hitler and--
- Goebbels?
- Himmler and, well, Goebbels is the propaganda minister.
Himmler was like really like--
- Right, Himmler.
- Himmler.
- And the ones that were like doing like the experiments
and they had one experiment where they wanted to,
they were going to try to like invent something
where like Nazis could fly,
like some type of like flying power.
So they would take members, like Jewish members,
you know, people in the Holocaust
and in like this big slingshot--
- Shut up.
- I swear to God, like throw them up into the air
with like this potion and they would all just like--
- What, to see if they could fly?
- Yeah, with this thing.
'Cause they would do all these experiments
and they would fall.
- What?
- Like I'm talking about like a hundred yards in the air
and then they'd fall and obviously die.
And the, when I was reading it,
like it was so shocking to me that I was like,
like almost like repulsed and like laughing.
And this woman at the end of the flight was like,
you know, I just thought it was a little inappropriate
that you were giggling in that book.
And I want to know what that was about.
And I explained to her, I've told this story before.
And I explained to her that,
hey, like the Nazis were putting injecting members
of the Holocaust with like this magic potion
and putting them in a slingshot
and throwing them up into the air.
And they were falling on the floor.
So it's horrible, but I thought it was funny.
And she was like, you know, someone in my family
was killed in the Holocaust.
And I don't think anything about that book was funny.
And I was like, nothing about the Holocaust is funny.
Like zero about the Holocaust is funny.
- But that is insane.
- I was like, but that, you know,
like that's why I was laughing at that.
- Slingshotting people?
- They were slingshotting people into the air
and then just standing there and be like,
this one didn't work.
- So insane.
- You know?
- Well, try it again.
- Yes, get it out of my name.
- Reload.
Like think about the mindset
of these fucking pieces of shit.
It is crazy that it's so interesting
to want to learn about that stuff in history.
But the more you read it, the more you're like,
I can't believe this is what people actually thought.
- Well, it's one of those things too,
where I love history and I'm fascinated
with reading books or watching documentaries
about the enemies of the United States.
Because when you read about the United States,
it's like, it's always like, you know,
wait, we're winners or we're going to put it
to our citizens in a certain way.
But when you read about other countries,
you're like, oh, it's all the same everywhere you go.
It's all the same.
It's just the people group gets power
and they treat the other group like dog shit.
- Like shit.
It's just what happens anywhere from any country you go to.
- Yeah.
- But it's interesting.
But it's an interesting thing to read those books.
- It is like, but that's why I'm so afraid.
I don't want to like look at stuff on a plane that I'm,
like there's stuff that I want to read or watch,
but you just can't.
The guy on the way in was watching Game of Thrones.
He was a really cool dude.
We started chatting.
He was a baseball scout for the Cincinnati Reds.
- Oh, sweet.
- And he gave me his card.
- Can you be on the team?
'Cause you have red hair?
- He said yes.
- Wow, great.
- He said yes.
I asked, he said yes.
I said, my buddy Chris is going to want to know
when I get back to LA if I could be on the team.
- Yeah.
- And he said, you got it kiddo.
Gave me his card.
So I think I'm pitching next week.
- Great.
- I got to go to Natty.
- I want to come.
- He said, he was watching Game of Thrones
and he had it tilted a little bit.
And he was talking about the F1 show
and he was like, that's great.
He's like, I'm watching Game of Thrones,
but I got to be careful on a plane
and he goes, you know, there's a lot of nudity on the show.
And I'm like, well, you're good for me.
And he was like, yeah, but you know,
I've had it where like a kid
is looking through the crack, you know, behind,
like a little pervert kid is watching the set scene.
And he goes, I had to like put my elbow up
through to block the seat.
Otherwise you have to turn to the dad and be like,
hey dude, he's getting some titty education right now.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- But that showed, you do realize that when I watch stuff
and I'm like, I can't, I don't want to.
Cause even though, even though it's like,
it's not like a porn, it's just like a rated R show or movie.
- Yeah.
- But then you see someone you're conscious of it.
Like a, whenever a sex scene, I'm always like, okay.
- But you know what though, my feeling though,
like if my kid, you know, I've been on flights with my kids.
I kind of like, once we walk, I've tell them all the time.
Like once we walk out, like there are rules in the house.
Like, you know, no cursing, obviously there'll be no nudity.
But once you walk out into the real world,
you're going to see stuff.
I don't want to shield them from that
because then they grow up.
- Yeah.
- And they act like idiots.
So I would just, you know, if they turned around
and was like, what's going on?
I'd be like, well, you know, Cersei's getting,
she's getting fucked in the ass.
- She's getting pounded, bud.
- Well, I guess, you know, I guess the nudity
and sexuality of the United States is so different.
Like is nudity common in the Philippines?
It's not a big deal, huh?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, my siblings, my brothers watch like anything.
And my mom doesn't care.
- Right.
- Nobody says anything.
- But Rudy, even on like the equivalent of like the CBS,
like the local, you know, like the mainstream shows,
they don't even block it out, right?
The Filipino, like the United States, we block all that stuff out
or we say, oh, you know, you can't say shit.
You have to say poo poo.
But then, you know, they'll show Rambo with like AK-47s
and grenades and you're like, yeah, well, obviously, you know.
- We're okay with guns and deaths.
'Cause we're a militarized country.
We love the idea.
Like we got, that's defense, dude, defense.
- But sex is naughty.
- Naughty.
- Sex is wrong.
Thank you.