Name: What Would Happen if Bobby Lee and Doc Were Abducted by Aliens | Bad Friends Clips ft Andrew Santino
Uploaded: 2021-09-30T04:45:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What Would Happen if Bobby Lee and Doc Were Abducted by Aliens | Bad Friends Clips ft Andrew Santino' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What Would Happen if Bobby Lee and Doc Were Abducted by Aliens | Bad Friends Clips ft Andrew Santino' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-30. Transcript available.

let me paint out a scenario okay okay an alien race they kind of look like koreans
basically
yeah so and they're like you know let's let's capture a couple specimens i've
got two of them
boss right yeah yeah i got two of them right one of them's black and one of
them yeah now you and
i are both like in a you know a futuristic cyber cage a probing cage probing
cage but
we're completely naked of course and we're strapped down on the bench right
both of us no but we're
kind of upright i'll get these metal slabs right it's really cool sounds more
like a fantasy to you
yeah this is going metal slabs completely naked right all right arms and legs
strapped in we're
strapping like this and you know at first we look at each other what the we
would look at each other
right it's real and for some reason you have an erection why doc why do you
have an erection in
the situation maybe because uh i'm thinking about space that's a good truest
thing i've ever heard
you see some space go by yeah
now right so then we're like this and we're on slabs right we're tired right
and you can't get hard
i can't get hard it's tough it's hard it's hard it's difficult it's not hard
now why is that i'm
getting older okay yeah okay yeah but maybe with you well you think if you
looked over at his penis
hard you would be like if his penis was hard you would get i'd just be like why
is he excited i'm
excited yeah you don't want to be left out yeah yeah yeah yeah it would go that
quick motivation
yeah like why is duck hard okay right so we're both hard i see it now right and
the aliens why are they
hard well they don't know what it is what they wouldn't know what that is they
wouldn't know what
genitals are no no they wouldn't understand why it rose i'm sure they did no
they could travel 35 000
light years and they don't know what that is then why are they examining you
naked they want to compare
the penis sizes i think i think they just want to suck us maybe you think so
yeah yeah so which ones
so the aliens which one do you want to suck off first right well the smaller
one seems more palatable
yeah yeah but now would we have the same size we would have the same size or do
you think yours would
be bigger mine would be bigger all right so confident so calm i don't know so
very fat it wasn't even
i don't even like it yeah yeah i doubt it goddamn slugger but i'm all right you're
all right yeah you're
all right right like between you and you know what's the guy from different
strokes gary coleman gary
coleman yeah now are you guys the same type of blacks the same type of blacks
man this is just i don't
know what that was right you emmanuel who have you been manuel was it lewis emmanuel
lewis yeah
how to take i feel so bad saying it yeah you should i know but what i'm saying
you like you know but
there's there's only like four of you you spud webb yeah maybe kids the kids
right maybe you are like
a 12 year old kid right as your size but that's no no we're talking about grown
men we're grown men
yeah so when it comes to grown men right it's you or you mugsy bogus spud webb
emmanuel lewis
and gary coleman and get and kevin hart kevin hart is one too yeah yeah yeah he's
smaller yeah yeah
he's taller than me but how do you know how tall is kevin next time he's about
five he's not five
four five five he's not i'm shooting a movie with him i shot a movie with him
and he's not he's not
yeah i'm taller than him between five two and five four yeah i'm taller than
him he's your height
yeah he's your he's your type okay i don't know what that means i don't know i
don't know
i'm not being racist yeah that's in your heart don't look at me yeah yeah
separate ask if you're
being racist am i being racist yeah oh yeah how is that racism it's sizes it's
not racism stop yeah
yeah you said yeah are you the same type of black yeah small black people well
that's that's not that's
not racist no no but then you would just say are you all the same size for a
little person no that's
not i know i wouldn't you can't well first of all let me say something what are
you saying bro number
one i know you're not a dwarf or a little person correct right because i would
i couldn't go there
with you you know the way i'm talking now that's true what do you mean that's
true like i wouldn't
be able to say these things i don't think i mean brad williams i probably would
yeah you are coming
right so what i'm saying is that you're a full-grown right you're full-grown
right
you're full-grown yeah like you're not gonna grow out longer yeah no okay so
all right all right so
ask him the same question yeah yeah that's not fair why are you full-grown yeah
i'm not maybe
okay and i'm not offended by the you're the smallest one i've seen i'm the
smallest one
say it i'm the smallest one little yellow bellies
wow i'm sorry all right now everyone listening to that right now right now what
do you think of doc
all right do you're commenting now my friends right you let him you made him do
that all right so my
point is is that i wasn't making i was first of all going down a comedy path i
saw you saw the
comedy path right i got it and then the path got you know there was stuff in it
obstacles
and i went around them landmines right i feel like i got to the i feel like i
got to the other
side unscathed you did you did okay yeah although the yellow belly stuff is
going to stick out this
episode is going to be called yellow i didn't know he had it in him no i'm not
like it i just i
i was vibing yes he was vibing yeah well thank you call me yellow belly i want
to keep it thank
you there you're welcome thank you so much you do correct all your gold yeah
you little black
hey what i'm saying why did you say bastard okay i'm sorry i'm just saying
listen okay and i just
want to know if you're at the comedy store right yeah and you see emmanuel lewis
right he's dead i
know no i mean yeah man is still alive gary coleman's dead oh right yeah yeah
yeah and you guys eye
each other you might not even say hi but there's a connection do you guys go
what's up he's another
like another one you know you come on that's how you do it from the hood i feel
you no not just
what you do to to another blind guy he's asking if you get a different kind of
nod you have a little
like a little dude a little black dude connection is that a thing like an
energy or something like
magical like vance you know it's very do you think they have a secret handshake
or some
shit yeah yeah maybe they're like a different maybe they could be aliens a tiny
black men
i mean think about it well you remember the zimbabwe incident with the ufo
situation tell me
you didn't see the uh on a phenomena no what i don't know okay so in africa
these kids that school
were visited by these black aliens and they were little and a couple of them
were chubby now this
is real talk hold on let them let them finish i want to hear yeah google it
school kids who said
they saw even now they had it on joe rogan talking about it yeah i'm saying
this is real wait a
minute wait a minute in 1994 60 children at the aerial school in rua zimbabwe
said they seen a ufo
and aliens with big eyes and bush land near their playground the story was
reported around the world
wow okay and you said black aliens yeah they're black so that's what they
claimed that's what they
so so number one right but in the middle of the night how did they see it it
wasn't in the night
it was during the day oh it had to yeah yeah also andrew this is a story you
and i aren't privy to
you right what do you mean but we didn't know about this though did you know of
course not but he does
why oh and that is interesting right oh i think something something that you
know something about
you absorb it you throw it out casually like that uh-huh there's a connection
so what do you know
what do you know where are you from where are you from i'm from here what are
you guys
oh what planet are you from dude i am from they don't like that word p the p
where what star are you located oh my god he's wearing a nasa shirt yeah yeah
oh is that not a dead
giveaway i love her i love her you foreign oh my god oh my god yeah yeah i'm
scooting over yeah yeah
that's what they say don't be scared they don't be scared yeah yeah don't be
scared that's what they
teach them and when you're in space what do you travel through wormhole black
hole
it might matter it's all lighting up you travel through black holes
oh my god bro you're where are you from where are you from man i'm trying to
tell you bro yeah yeah
oh my god you think you know me yeah yeah yeah i could see 80 years ago right
yeah five of them
of him's kevin him emmanuel gary right that's where the aliens no they went
they were them no yeah
they went let's go to hollywood so they landed in zimbabwe yeah and they're
like we'll become actors
you become a comedian oh my god that's perfect oh no kevin kevin's a comedian
yeah two of us will be
actors two one basketball you play basketball right kat williams he's he's
short too he's
kat william kat william he'll do crack
wait wait is that not a real story didn't you do crack and punch someone in a
grocery store
so do you see what he did he protected they protect each other he protected
he didn't smoke crack in the grocery store and punch someone in the face
kat williams opens up about drug enhancing the creativity of
crowd comedian phase on love says kat williams is on crack
that's phase on love that's why i love phase on love so um all right so you're
denying it
denying what where you're from yeah of course no what do you mean you're from i've
told you
where i'm from okay i don't know but i don't buy it i think you came down in zimbabwe
yeah you and the others yeah i think so too this is going to be called the most
racist podcast of all
time no i don't think so no there's three of us race you got you got one of me
one of you and one
of him yeah yeah we should be okay we're fine are you offended no for what wait
because we're bro
so that's no here's the thing of course not i always equate it to like um back
in the day when
you had a harbor city or a town right and you'd had people from different lands
you know what i mean
in a in a you know port somewhere right and the way they they would bond with
each other is they
would call each other's nicknames and make fun of each other's accents sure and
rib on each other
sure then they want to go to the bar or whatever have a drink right and that's
how human beings
connected right and it's like um they're trying to take all that away well here's
the thing we're
always going to do it with people that you love yeah you just can't do it to
people you don't know
anymore exactly right so that was so fun to do to the strangers of course
you