Name: Bobby Lee Was Too Scared To Go to the Beach in Mexico | Bad Friends Clips ft. Andrew Santino
Uploaded: 2021-11-15T03:31:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Was Too Scared To Go to the Beach in Mexico | Bad Friends Clips ft. Andrew Santino' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Was Too Scared To Go to the Beach in Mexico | Bad Friends Clips ft. Andrew Santino' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-15. Transcript available.

we're bad friends canada dry it's never been more dry bobby had a can of canada
dry and we decided
to make a little song about it we moved inside because the sun got way too hot
canada dry
it's never been more dry that's our um early 2000s when was that was that early
2000s yeah
182 and all that stuff yeah all the small thing those guys made some really
good hits though
they did and they're all from my area they're from san diego from poway
specifically yeah
what's going on man what is going on what is going on so um are you gonna come
swimming with me in the ocean or not for real you know because you said there
were penguins what was it penguins in the ocean no what you said some sort of
animal yeah there's penguins out there no no what kind of animal was it tortoises
no that we saw a stingray today that's the one that's the one that killed the
englishman that killed steve erwin is he english
he's australian you know what i'm talking about same and same gouged out right
through his body right through his body gouged his shit out kind of cool i know
that's why i will not be going
oh dude we swam up to you we touched it i'm not as qualified as the englishman
stevie erwin clearly he wasn't either
i know my point is is that he's a professional and he got gouged out he got he
got murked but what i'm asking you
no but it was i think it's a manta ray there's a big difference i think it was
a manta ray
well then say it right you fuck face hey hey hey hey hey sorry manta ray i mean
stingray manta ray they're two different things you fucktard
no this was a stingray never mind you can't say that you can't say fucktard
yeah you can i will
no this was a stingray and this was this this was a stingray yeah so no i will
not be going yeah but
check it okay check it out if i get gouged out if you promise me i won't get gouged
out promise on our
friendship you won't all right but if i do what do i get uh a new casket no no
if i if i get attacked and
get gouged out by one of those little muskrats right yeah what will i get 10
grand cash i'll give
you 10 grand okay so tomorrow tomorrow we're swimming i'm gonna be with them
then no that's
not the deal yeah hold on i want the 10 grand are all stingrays uh deadly
are no there's no way stingrays are flat disc shaped creatures with fins
no stop it generally aren't dangerous in fact they have a reputation for being
gentle
see they call them puppies of the sea you've never heard of that before they
actually don't love the
puppies of the sea but my point is is that knowing me i don't know what how
they lay you know if they
lay on their side no no and look that's that's what they lay on their backs
like and they put their
little fan look like stingray do they lay like that when they sleep well they're
no their their backs
are up when they swim and they sleep and then they settle down to the bottom of
the ocean i don't
think they ever go on their back and look up they can't close their eyes and go
look at my dick
well they don't they don't have dicks they don't have dicks oh wait do stingrays
have penises yeah
well google that that's more important stingrays harbor and we'll figure out a
way to make it gay
so fatal sting in a second so you know i mean fatal stingray attacks on humans
are exceedingly rare
only two have been reported in australian water since 1945 oh that's so rare
both victims were stung in
the chest just like erwin it was extremely rare do stingrays have penises that's
the most important
most important question by far so how do you tell a sexual maturities male
stingrays have external
sexual organs called claspers which are visible oh that seems aggressive they
have claspers their
penises fucking grab onto the vagina that felt so good i'm gonna do it again i'm
a stingray yeah yeah
oh that's what he does he clasps it don't do it okay sorry sorry i'll do it
yeah that's crazy
they have claspers and what they do is so once it's in it's in they have two
penis like organisms
that lie within modified pelvic fins they have two dicks stingrays have double
dicks right double dicks
how bad man was if we were stingrays how mad would you be if if as a joke i
just clasped onto your
butthole see how i did that yeah i knew how the angle i was gonna say how funny
it would be if you
was stingray and one of your penises was super huge and the other one was
extremely small and they made
fun of you for not having two equal sized penises or you can do jokes like my
dad's half black and my
mom's asian yeah i'm a half half i'm a half stingray yeah yeah i'm a i don't
know i'm sure there's more
better jokes eric griffin is our stingray friend yeah yeah yeah so if it's
small right is that what
you're saying what where's the calm where's the come at it comes out of their
penis they have double
penises they have two penises it's like a two-on-one storage situation one is
tired the other one goes to
work right because our calm is in our sack correct okay it's not in the penis
area it ends up in there
at some point yeah it goes okay let me have a better specific more specific
question yeah right
takes the elevator goes coming up yeah you know how sometimes you know you you
ejaculate and how good
does that feel this is a good end of the episode yeah you know how you ejaculate
i do know right and so
then you know after you masturbate or you have sex with a woman or man whatever
your thing is and then
you go oh i gotta go pee right and then when you pee it's it sprays like in 12
different areas funny
yeah when you clogged up the hose yeah right everywhere right you don't give a
fuck you just
do the best you can yeah you'll clean it later well i usually pee in the shower
oh really for that
very reason but it sprays so what you're what what what that means is that
there's some cloggation
clog clogging going on clogination yeah clogination going on correct right so
when does that go away
the clogging yeah it eventually sprays away and then you're done are you still
clogged
are you still clogged no no have you been clogged for a long time for like six
months
what spring we gotta go to the doctor is that what it is yeah we gotta go to
the doctor i think my
shit just dried like some sort of adhesive or some like like super glue got on
there cement yeah yeah
well maybe you're but that's permanent yeah but it sprays and 50 is that a
problem still yeah like
right now if you go pee it does that 15 different areas and there's blood in
the pee that's fine i
think all right i think that one's not a big deal you know what if a third
thing happens then i'll go
yeah wait till the end wait till something really happens something like a foot
falls off have you ever
had blood in your pee oh yeah and in my poo i've had poop blood in both areas
this is gross
why it's just nasty but speaking of which what did you come to the door with
this morning when i when
i said hello i knocked on the door go ahead you say i knocked on the door and
bobby goes i'm in the
bathroom and i go i go i clean your room and he goes no no no can i say from my
point of view sure
all right so this is from my point of view yeah right yeah i literally wake up
and i get woken up
how knock knock knock on the door no no i'm asking you how did i wake up why
did what what was the
thing that caused me to wake up a phone call no a poo oh you had a yeah yeah
right
so my body's like your body your choice like it's like a little you know what i
mean in my mind
right so my body just goes right i get to the edge of the bed right and like a
robot and i do this if
you had a camera in the in the hotel room god please don't have a camera in the
in the bathroom all right
but you would see me walk like a robot right so i'm taking a poo mass shit
right and as soon as
the turtle's face yeah it comes out of the little hole i hear housekeeping
that was you right i went i went i know i said i gotta clean the room i gotta
clean the room i'm
taking a shit i said and then i go it's okay i'm gonna clean now i don't know
about you but
in my date like during the day i have these events that i look forward to just
to hear me out
taking a shit is one of them taking a shit is one of them what's the other one
the wind blowing
in my face on the beach you hate the beach i know but i love it okay i love
that part of it okay
my point is is that um i was taking a poo one of my favorite things in the
whole world
you interrupted me correct i was in a bad mood because i had and i hadn't drink
any coffee
so i opened the door and i stick something out what was it toilet paper with
what poop on it
good morning that was your good morning to me good morning will you swim with
me tomorrow though for
real in the ocean with the mantle rays for sure you promise yeah lie can can i
can you do me a favor
what george get me toilet not toilet paper get me um a bathing suit you don't
you didn't bring a
bathing suit to the resort beach i was in hawaii too for a week i never bring
it out
why there's no need fancy do you have a bathing suit fancy didn't bring me you
didn't bring a bathing
suit you're a loser what do you mean you didn't bring a bathing suit i need a
medium you came to work
i just don't know you came to work george he was getting trashed the last two
nights came to work
it's not gonna try how did it go it went canada dry it's never been more dry oh
that's right
that's it
you