Name: Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee, and Tom Segura Answer Fan Questions | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2021-12-03T03:30:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee, and Tom Segura Answer Fan Questions | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee, and Tom Segura Answer Fan Questions | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-03. Transcript available.

We're bad friends.
All right, so how about this?
Tom has almost little time left
because he's got to, you know,
sell out a fucking arena next door.
So do they have that crowd mic that they can...
Do you guys have that crowd mic?
Do we have the crowd mic so we can get questions
from the crowd, George?
Get a couple questions from the crowd.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Let's go.
Tom, big fan.
Thanks.
So I just wanted to know...
We're here too, you know?
Jesus.
I'm a big fan.
I'm watching every single podcast.
I swear to God.
Okay, so I wanted to know
with all this climate
and the experience that you've had in Cancun,
what kind of glove would you recommend for this?
It's really good.
And also, where's the glove?
So really, those are both...
Those are good questions.
I would say that number one,
a beach glove is what I would wear in this.
Oh, beach gloves.
Yeah, like something you can shovel with.
You can also reach into the water.
You can knock the sand off of it.
The sand doesn't stick to it as much.
Yeah.
So it's more like a latex,
but they're specifically their beach gloves.
Do you own beach gloves?
Of course.
And then...
Right.
The reason I'm not wearing a glove
is because Customs, of course,
took them from me.
Yeah.
They always...
Fucking Customs.
They take your gloves.
All right, that guy.
Thank you for that question, though.
Great question.
Tom, I have two questions.
First of all,
how good is that up there
to recreate Good Morning, Julia?
That is a fantastic background
for Good Morning, Julia.
A real cool guy atmosphere.
Yes.
And then second of all,
if you could bring anybody
back from the dead,
why would you pick Fed Smoker?
That's a really impressive question.
Do you want me to break it down for you?
No.
I understand.
You understand that?
Oh, man.
Fed Smoker, I mean,
you know, you're Irish,
but you understand that
he represents all Americans
and he was fighting
to keep the fucking peace
and to push out
all the fake bad cops
that were stealing and corrupt.
And, you know,
it's like there's only one
fucking JFK
and there's only one
Herc News Fed Smoker,
so, you know,
long live the meth king.
All right.
Tom, I'm also a big fan.
Bobby or Andrew,
who do you like more and why?
Oh, who do you like more out of us?
Yeah.
I mean,
that's an aggressive question.
It's Andrew.
And I'll tell you why.
He answers me when I text,
when I call.
He doesn't just leave me hanging.
He wakes up before 4.
4 p.m.,
you know.
But you do love Bobby.
But like you said,
number one Korean.
Number one.
Doesn't that feel good, Bob?
I like you even more
than Grandma Kim,
and she makes
the best bulgogi
and the best kalbi
and the best sundobu,
and I put you ahead of her
and you've never even
fucking cooked for me.
That's huge.
You're the most
rocking Korean I know.
Let's move on.
All right, look,
is that George
interviewing George?
Yes.
Two fucking white nerds
together.
This is awesome.
He's one of the most
handsome guys
I've seen here so far.
This question is for
Daddy Lalagon.
So, the last place
my mother was seen
about two years ago
was at a Garth Brooks concert,
and we haven't seen her since.
Do you think
I'll ever get closure?
Of course not.
Thank you.
She's buried somewhere
in Oklahoma, pal.
I'm sorry to navigate
away from bad friends,
but Tom,
has Christina navigated
towards your scrum at all?
Have you gotten
any scrum licking?
Let's scrum it up, Christina.
She's disappointed me
in that regard
in every way.
You know,
I've been trying things,
working out more,
eating clean,
waxing my ass.
You look very good,
by the way.
Thanks, thank you.
You do look very good.
After Steve-O's show
the other day,
I know a lot of buttholes
are hair-free,
so I want to see
yours as well.
All right, lady.
He's married,
so fucking land
the plane a little bit.
My butthole
is not hair-free,
and it is not appetizing,
I admit that.
I would not eat
my own ass.
I wouldn't eat your ass.
No, you wouldn't.
I just wouldn't.
But what if you
loved me?
No.
Yeah.
That's where you poop out of.
I wouldn't do it.
Guys poop.
How much money?
300 bucks.
How much money
would you offer me
to eat your butthole?
300 bucks.
No.
Oh, no.
500?
A grand.
A grand?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Have you had your butt eaten?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah?
My butt's good.
No, you've had
your ass eaten before.
It's not good.
It's not a fresh product.
But it's been done?
Like yesterday when I
two days ago
when I showed you my poo.
Oh.
Wait.
I came to the door.
Oh.
I knocked on the door
because we're supposed
to go do something together.
Yeah.
And there's no answer.
And so I knock harder
and then he goes,
bathroom.
And I said,
come out.
I want to clean the room.
And then he goes,
go away.
And I said,
you want me
suck your little
beautiful pee pee?
And then he gets up
off the toilet.
I can hear him
get up off the toilet
because when he gets up
it's like,
the fucking weight
of the toilet
like eased up.
A little suction action.
And he fucking,
who was that?
That was insane.
Yeah.
His royal blackness
in the building.
God is a black man.
God is a black man.
It's Morpheus.
Look at this.
You are the one.
Oh my God.
Oh fuck.
I told you it's Morpheus.
Am I Neo?
No.
You're not fucking Neo.
I get up off the,
he gets up off the toilet,
he comes to the front door
and he's in his underwear
looking down at me
and I'd say,
Bob, we got to go.
And then he puts his hand out
and it's toilet paper
and there's shit on it.
That's what he is.
Thank you for being
a bad friend.
Good bye.
Good night.
Thank you.
One more time for Tom Segura.
Come on for Tom Segura, baby.
Hey.