Name: Rudy Has A Poo Problem | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-07-29T17:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy Has A Poo Problem | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy Has A Poo Problem | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-29. Transcript available.

I also want to encourage you, right, so you did the Korean soap opera sketch we
did at the, you liked that, right?
It was so good.
Is it available for people to see?
No, we're going to, because we're going to use it for the other lives.
So good.
So good, but your acting in it was really good.
Can we support you in that?
Why don't you, why don't you want to do stuff like that?
Because, I don't know, it's embarrassing.
Why is it embarrassing?
I don't know, because people are going to watch it.
Were you embarrassed that night when they played it in front of 1600 people?
Yeah.
No, I saw your smile.
I saw your smile.
She was texting in the referee jersey backstage smiling.
Yeah, you were smiling, and you were having a great time.
Yeah, you were.
And you were wallowing in it.
I guess, yeah.
Yeah, you were.
I think wallowing is negative.
You were swimming in it.
You were swimming in it.
You were swallowing in it.
You were wallowing.
You were swallowing.
You were swallowing.
You swallowed all of it.
All that happened is you swallowed.
You put it right in your belly.
Yeah, you loved it, right?
Yeah.
And honestly, it made you look good in front of your boyfriend.
Sure did.
No, I made him not watch it.
What?
Why?
Yeah, but he saw you on stage, did he not?
Yeah.
And he saw the cheers?
Yeah.
That's so cool.
It gives you the advantage?
Mm-hmm.
It gives you the power dynamic advantage.
Yeah.
You got to make sure you get a prenup, because you're powerful.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're the rich and famous one.
He can't boss you around.
No.
And I hugged him that night.
I whispered stuff in his ears.
You know that, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I said, watch it.
I think we should continue to act.
In fact, what we should do, because Juice wants to act too, we should do a
fucking, we should
do a Bad Friends acting debut show.
Yeah, we should debut an acting show.
We should do a real drama, a drama.
I love that.
You're good at drama?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, but it will be funny, though, right?
Like, we'll be dramatic.
Yes.
No.
I mean, I kind of want to do a drama.
All right, how about this?
If you're good at drama, I want you to break up with Bobby right now.
Like, it's a real drama scene.
Like, you found out what was really going on, and you're breaking up with Bobby.
You found out that he doesn't love you, and he told everybody in your
friendship circle.
Oh, so we were dating?
How long were we dating for?
You guys were dating for 40 years.
40 years?
30 years?
30 years?
No, you dated for four years.
Four years.
My bad.
And you found out from your group of friends that he's been saying how bad he
wants out,
and he just can't do it anymore.
He also might be in love with someone else.
Can I be a different guy, though?
No, it's you.
All right, but can I have a different voice?
You can do anything you want.
Hey, baby.
That's great.
Okay.
Hey, Juicy, what's up?
Bobby, we need to talk.
Yeah, what are we doing now, baby?
What's up?
We're talking now, right, baby?
I mean.
Who are you looking at?
I'm not here.
Oh, yeah, you're the director.
I know, but you don't look at the director in the middle of a shoot.
When I act.
Cameras are up.
I always look at the director.
See if I'm doing it right now.
Don't look at the fucking director.
See if I'm doing it right now.
See, action to get director.
Hold on.
I got a pace.
Hold on.
This guy.
Now he's got a plan.
See?
But Juice is already prepared.
You see how deep she's already in here?
Yeah, I'm in it.
Hey, hey.
Any notes for me, director?
Yeah, stop fucking looking at me.
Oh, my bad.
My bad.
Just do the scene.
Where's my mark?
Right here?
Yeah, you're on it.
You don't have to move anywhere.
You're sitting down.
Oh, sorry, my bad.
All right, ready?
All right.
And action.
Bobby, we need to talk.
Okay, baby.
What's up, Juicy?
What are we doing now?
Cut.
Cut.
Stop fucking looking at the director.
I get it.
I get it.
Look at your scene.
I get it.
It's my first job, man.
Okay, it's all right.
It's fine.
So, were you saying not to look at you?
Never.
Yeah.
Never.
After I say action, only look at her.
Honestly, I won't.
How do you expect me to work with this?
I understand it.
I'm so sorry, Miss Juicy.
I'm so sorry, Miss Juicy.
All right, don't look at me.
I won't even look at you at all.
Where's the camera at?
Right there?
No, I'm not going to tell you where the fucking camera is because then you're
going to look
at the camera.
That's the camera right there.
I'll just look at the camera.
No, no, no.
At her.
Only at her.
Only look at her.
And action.
Bobby, we need to talk.
Hey, Juicy, what's up?
That's what I thought we were doing right now.
Yeah, but it's serious.
I went through your cell phone.
Yeah, hey, bitch, I told you not to.
Is that the right line?
Line.
It is bitch, yeah.
It's hey, bitch, I told you not to go through my shit.
Okay.
Hey, bitch, I told you not to go through my shit.
Yeah, well, it's too late for that.
I saw all those pictures.
I saw those fingers in your asshole.
Do you want to tell me whose fingers those were?
They're my fingers, baby.
What's up?
No, both your hands were also in the picture.
You were doing this.
Oh, that's right.
Shit, you caught me.
My bad.
I was doing like this because I was doing a Home Alone.
I was doing a Home Alone fucking thing, man.
Yeah.
Like, oops.
Which I thought was our thing.
That was our thing.
My bad.
You know who that was?
No, that's what I-
I'm telling you, it was my mom.
All right, we got bigger problems then.
No, because I have bumpies down there.
You know my mom's a doctor, right?
You never told me your mom was a doctor.
She's not.
What is the truth here?
What's the line?
What's the line?
What are you trying to break up or something?
No, what was my-
What did my mom do in the fucking script?
What did my mom do?
Huh?
Oh.
Oh, because your mom says you got to break up with this white bitch.
Oh, yeah.
So, my mom says I got to break up with this white bitch.
You know what?
Yeah.
It's the first thing your mom's ever said that I agree with.
Is this why I cry?
Yeah.
So, it's over?
So, it's over?
Say goodbye to these.
Pretty good.
Really good.
Really good acting.
Really, really, really good.
What about mine, no?
Not really good.
Not good?
Not good.
Yeah, I think I made the wrong choice.
You made a lot of bad choices.
He made me look good.
Yeah, you look-
You shine.
It's all Bobby.
You shine so heavily.
Yeah.
Wait, I have a question.
When you-
When you-
When you were my age and you were pooing, does your asshole, like, bleed a lot?
Let it sink in.
Just let that sink in.
All right, now I'm going to answer this without being funny.
Yeah.
Just let it-
Yeah, just let-
Let the moment-
My asshole has been bleeding a lot.
We get-
We get what you said.
And I haven't done anal.
We didn't need-
You know what I mean?
And you haven't done anal.
No.
Right.
Yeah.
Doctor?
Yeah, doctor.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let me ask you-
Are you-
Are you pushing?
No!
I'll even wait until, like, it just drops.
You wait until it comes out at its own?
Yeah.
You eating those baby birds?
Yeah, the balloon?
The balloon?
No.
Okay.
Okay.
Um, so, you probably have hemorrhoids.
No.
Okay.
But it's just bleeding.
Your ass is just bleeding.
Yeah.
Like, right now, is it maybe blood?
Maybe.
Wow.
Are you being real?
No, honestly.
Yeah, I'm definitely-
So, basically, is it like-
Rudy's dying.
Is it like The Shining, where, like, you poo, and then it's like the elevator?
Blood poop.
Let's see.
What does it mean when you just-
It's usually hemorrhoids.
I don't want to get hemorrhoids.
You haven't gone to a doctor?
No.
Yeah.
Well, my next question is, how come?
Well, yeah, exactly.
We're doctors.
Yeah, so I'm asked.
Why don't you go?
I'm just tired.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Rectal bleeding is a symptom of conditions like hemorrhoids, I said it, fissures,
inflammatory
bowel disease.
You could have IBD, ulcers, and, well, the last one's cancer, but you may
notice rectal
bleeding on toilet paper, in the water of the toilet, or in your stool.
Is it everywhere?
All three of those?
The trifecta?
No, just the paper.
Just on the toilet paper.
Yeah.
Maybe we do a bad friend's trip to the doctor.
I think I'd like it.
That'd be cool, yeah.
I think we should do that.
Make it a real event?
Are you wiping too hard?
No.
Okay.
I'm not a doctor.
That's probably a dumb question.
No, that's not a dumb question.
You can wipe too hard and cause it to tear.
You can?
Yeah, you can dry it out and tear it up.
Okay.
We've got to get this taken care of, man.
Yeah, we've got to fix this.
I thought you were kidding around.
You're not kidding around?
No, I keep telling you.
Oh, fuck.
Man.
It's my fault.
Yeah, you're a bad dad.
I'm a bad dad.
No, we've got to get this fucking taken care of.
I thought you were saying, as a joke, like, I have a bloody butthole.
We thought you had maybe, you know, a little bit of diarrhea once in a while,
which
is normal.
Yeah.
You're having it all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah, you have IBD.
Diarrhea or constipation.
Yeah, one or the other, right?
They kind of go hand in hand.
Yeah.
They're cousins.
All right, well, we've got to take you to a doctor.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess we have to fucking go to a doctor.
But we also can use it in the show, so we'll do it.
You're right, Juicy.
Yeah, we're going to take a bad friend's trip to the doctor.
Yeah.
You'll feel better if they go with you?
Yeah, but the camera shouldn't be on my ass.
No shit.
Well, it would help the story.
Yeah, it'd be good for the show.
Yeah.
We can animate it.
But Juicy will be in there with you, so it'll be a woman in there with you that'll
make you
feel safe.
I'll be holding the camera.
She'll be holding the camera.
Okay.