Name: Bobby & Andrew Enter The Metaverse | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-08-06T17:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby & Andrew Enter The Metaverse | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby & Andrew Enter The Metaverse | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-06. Transcript available.

Aaron Weber, who I've talked about on the show, good comic, he just promoted a,
there is a brand new app or program where you can, it generates art, you can
just ask it anything, it'll generate all this original fucking artwork.
Yeah, that's Dali.
Dali, that's what it's called?
Well, there's a bunch, there's Imogen, Google has one.
But do Dali, I think that's the one, I think that's the one, how do you spell
that?
I'm so scared right now.
D-A-L-L-E.
Yeah, D-A-L-L-E.
Two, and we're done.
But wait, let me finish this.
So this Dali thing, you, so you have to sign up for them to be, right?
Like they put you, the, the full Dali version is in beta right now, but they're
going to put it out very soon for like a monthly charge.
So he was selected by one of these groups.
Like you have to, you put your name in the hat to be like, hey, I want to be a
part of the test group.
And he just got a sign because he put it up on Instagram and was like, yo, ask
me anything.
That's awesome.
And he, all people, every fucking image, the creepiest part to me was someone
would go, um, Darth Vader eating soup, right?
Like that's a, it's, you can go a million ways.
The, the visual of Darth Vader eating soup changed so many different formats
and ways that I was like, I don't know if a human could come up with this if
they took a hundred years.
This is tip of the iceberg, dude.
It was creepy as fuck.
An image is just a series.
It's like a brick of pixels.
Each pixel is a little square that has a numerical value of light to dark and
red, green, blue.
So to create every image possible to be generated is possible.
We just don't have the computing power yet, but with quantum computing around
the corner, I think that's going to exist with the next 15 years or so.
Just a giant database of literally every image.
So, okay.
Look, a text.
And we'll just scroll down a little bit, down a little bit.
Please look, a storefront that has the word open eye written on it.
That's it.
And then all, these are all generated from a computer.
None of that is real.
None of those pictures are real.
Well, I mean, I'm sure you guys have seen the AI generated people that now
exist, right?
That like ad companies use and stuff.
Yeah.
They're not real people, but they look photorealistic.
There are videos.
You can just type in what you want them to say.
And they're like, hello, welcome to our company.
And they look like perfect mixed race.
Those are AIs.
Yeah.
Those are all fake people.
And this is, again, this is the wheel.
Eventually, there's going to be a fucking Ferrari.
You know, we're just at the tip of the iceberg of this shit.
How come the sex dolls still look so bad?
It's a good question.
They look so fucked.
They look, they always look.
There was a man.
Some of them look pretty good.
There was a guy that just got a divorce from his wife so he could marry his sex
doll.
Yeah.
Nice.
And she said it's because they made it look too much like her.
Like they sent in her photos and he wanted her over there.
But she still looks like shit.
They don't look good yet.
How do we have all this power?
They're going to.
Look at this here.
Is this the guy?
He married his robot sex doll, Margo?
Yeah, that's it.
But honestly, they still look like shit.
You know why?
I think it's still because there's still too much stigma over big fake tits.
and skinny waist and big butt thing.
Male looking, female looking, whatever kind of sex robot you might want.
I think there's still too much stigma around this.
Yeah.
But eventually that's going to fucking.
That'll bleed off.
It's like online dating.
You remember when online dating first fucking happened and people were like,
oh, how'd you guys meet?
It was at a friend's party, right?
Like nobody would say they met online anyway.
Now it's the primary way everyone needs.
If I had a wedding and I was mirroring a...
Let's just listen.
The answer is yeah.
You would come to my wedding?
I would officiate it.
You think everyone will come to that wedding?
Would you make fun of me?
Of course.
That's the whole point of going.
I'm an officiating.
It's real love.
I know.
All right?
I don't want to be fucking mocked at my own wedding.
I would make fun of you if you married a human.
What would be the difference?
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
There'd be zero difference.
I don't think I would invite you to my wedding.
Would you guys mock me at my wedding?
Absolutely not.
Yeah.
Would you...
I'm down with this shit.
But deep down inside, you'd be like, this is not real.
No, dude.
Will, would you mock him at his wedding?
Yeah, no.
What?
You know, I'd give you guys a gift of a bunch of car batteries or something.
That's mocking.
That's fun.
Well, because my wife loves that.
Look, there they are together.
This ain't real.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And he dresses her up, which is even more fun.
That's amazing.
So he goes shopping often for her clothes.
He's just going viral.
But that guy is fucking...
Let's say...
I mean, we don't know this man, but let's say this man is happy doing this.
He probably is.
What's fucking wrong with this?
Nothing at all.
I'm...
My comment was how they still look kind of...
That still looks like a toy.
Yeah.
Sure.
Why can't we make it look real real?
I mean, I think that's coming, but also this kind of an aesthetic is its own
thing.
I mean, if you look at, like, what's going on right now with Gen Z and...
Like, you mean he wants to fuck a doll?
Is that what you're saying?
What's that?
Like, he prefers a physical doll?
That look, yeah.
In the next generation of this...
Look at the most realistic sex doll.
Kids are going to be fucking things that look like anime characters and unicorns
and whatever.
You know what I mean?
It's a luxury one.
It looks pretty real.
I guess, yeah.
The answer for impersonal sex is not in, you know, crude rubber, you know,
robots and stuff.
That's not where we're headed.
As Chad will tell you, it's the metaverse.
So, you know...
That's true, actually.
You put on your Oculus, right?
And you put something on your penis, right?
Yeah.
The thing in it.
I think that...
What do they call it when it touches back?
Haptic feedback.
Haptic feedback.
Oh, yeah.
The best kind of haptic feedback is what you do is you...
I like to grab the ass.
Well, this...
My solution...
That's my thing.
My solution would have that for you.
And all you have to do is put on the Oculus and then, you know, insert yourself
into a sexual partner.
Now, hold on a second.
You keep the Oculus on, but you have sex with a person.
And then, you know, you can kind of believe whatever that is.
As a matter of fact, it would probably help a lot of marriages.
Let's put our Oculus on.
Who are you having sex with?
Well, you don't ask.
You don't...
You just...
You let them do it.
Because then it's like we're both having our fantasy then.
Right.
And the Oculus is like...
This past week, an experiment was just done with the first AR contact lens.
So, instead of wearing, like, Google Glass or whatever, you just put in
contacts.
And I get a full heads-up display of everybody's vital stats.
Oh, my.
It's the future.
We're here.
Yeah.
And that eventually is going to become VR.
Your clothes.
That contact will be...
You can switch between AR and VR.
And the emoticons.
Instantaneously.
Now, Chad, can I ask you...
Is this gay?
Let me ask you if something's gay, right?
Oh, boy.
I don't know why you're asking me, but...
This is my favorite segment of Bad Friends.
We do this every fucking week.
So, if I have the little thing on my penis, right?
Well, maybe in the haptic.
In the haptic.
In the haptic.
In the haptic.
In the haptic.
Haptic.
You don't insert it into your urethra.
It's something that goes around your penis.
I understand that.
I'm not going to stick it inside my body.
You just said I stick it on my penis.
On it.
Not in it.
Sorry.
No, it doesn't go on the tip.
Unless that's what you want.
Around the penis, right?
Yeah.
And I have the thing on my head, right?
But then I ask Chad, can I touch your ass?
Would that be considered gay?
Why is he in the room?
What?
I'm asking my favorite.
I'm an ass guy.
I like his ass.
I'm not gay.
But I want to do...
You know what I mean?
I'm making love to...
You know what I mean?
Okay.
I'm one of your best friends.
That hurts.
I would not do you.
Why?
Because you would laugh.
I would...
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would hear you laugh.
Okay.
How about this?
If I put tape over my mouth and I promised I wouldn't laugh, the only way I
would let you
grab my ass while you were in VR is if you weren't jerking off at the same...
I don't want you tugging and grabbing my ass.
No, I'm not touching your dick.
I have the haptic on my penis.
And you're grabbing my ass.
Yeah.
And I have the thing.
So I'm making love to a woman in the fucking thing.
I think that's fine.
I'll let you do that.
But I'll tell you why I wouldn't use you.
Because I would feel like I was going to be rushed.
What do you mean?
I just feel like you have shit to do.
I got stuff going on.
Yeah.
And I feel like after like 10 minutes, I'd be like, I just feel like he's...
He has an audition.
You know what I mean?
It would be in my head.
It would fuck me up.
But I feel like he would finish.
Why?
What do you...
There's something about him that he would finish.
He's busy.
I would finish.
I think that's...
You would stand there because you're a nice guy.
You would stand there and just let me finish.
I'll let you finish.
Well, he would probably come over to set it up for you because he knows all
that geeky stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
But Andrew would be with him because they're doing shrooms together.
That's right.
Yeah.
And then Chad's on the other side of the room, you know, going boop, boop, boop,
boop, boop,
trying to set up your fucking haptic penis urethra insertion.
And you'd be grabbing Andrew's ass in the meantime because you don't know.
You're in the metaverse.
It's just like we said.
Don't ask...