Name: Hitchhiker Role Play w/ Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Uploaded: 2022-08-06T20:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Hitchhiker Role Play w/ Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Hitchhiker Role Play w/ Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-06. Transcript available.

- No, Bobby.
- It was a white girl who had really big butt
and big boobs. - White girl.
- And fat tits.
- No, that's how you know.
- Yup.
- You were doing it.
- You were doing it.
- You were doing it.
- Who, what, Nancy Pelosi?
- Who was it?
- Was it Nancy Pelosi?
- Who was it?
- She was an 80, listen, all right?
- But you like big fucking fat tits.
- No, that's not what it is.
- Yes, you do.
You like fat tits, bro.
And you like white girls with fat asses.
- Is that who it was in San Diego?
- It wasn't Nancy Pelosi.
- It was, yes, it was.
It was that.
It was that.
And you want to grab--
- Hey Jules, fuck you.
Jules, fuck you.
- Jules, you've done good.
- I'm just telling the truth.
- No, no, no, we were walking in a mall,
UTC mall, right?
- Yes.
- And there was a girl wearing like yoga,
like a tight yoga outfit.
- And what did you see?
- And she was so ugly and dumpy.
- No. - Stop it.
- Hey, bullshit, bullshit.
- You're lying.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you did.
- No, you're, fuck you.
- You're smirking.
- Yeah, like look at that fat piece of shit wearing now.
- No.
- You saw, you saw, what'd you see?
- I saw a fat piece of shit jiggly jiggly.
- No, you didn't.
- Tell us what happened.
- And then you were like, you were checking that out
and we had an argument about that.
Go fuck yourself.
- No.
- Now let me say something.
- I know.
- And did you look?
And she had super fat.
- And what does that even mean if I fucking looked?
- Yo, listen, you're a man, bro.
- That's right.
- You can look at however many asses and tits you want.
- That's true that, true that.
- Okay, you're in a mall.
- I know.
- It's your fucking world.
You're Bobby Lee.
- You're Bobby Lee.
- You're out here single, ready to mingle.
- True that.
- You want to stuff that face in some fat white girl tits.
- But I know, but it's so funny that you white dudes,
white dudes like you guys.
- I'm not white, bro, I'm Italian.
- Whatever.
You're both Italian.
You Italian dudes.
They're a taller, fairly good looking, right?
Very funny at your craft, right?
- I thought I was good looking
before I came to the fucking podcast
and she said I look like Gilbert.
- You think it's easier for you to get women
than for me to get women?
- Yes, that's the system we've developed.
- I know.
- That's the story in the world.
- And it's also easier for you to get food in America.
So you came here.
So you have to put up with that.
That's the sacrifice you make
when your family brings you here.
- It's a little harder to get laid,
but there's food every day and a refrigerator, right?
It's a little bit harder.
There's food every day and there's a refrigerator.
That's just what it is.
- It was funny, but I want to fight you.
- No, but this is the payoff.
- It's funny, but I want to fight.
- It's funny, but I want to fight.
- This is the payoff.
- This is what your family worked for.
- Yeah.
Okay, so I'm here.
Thank you for the food.
Thank you for the delicious food.
- You're welcome.
- And I love refrigerating my meats.
- It's great to refrigerate your food.
- Right, so thank you so much.
But what I'm saying is that,
does it have to be that hard to get pussy?
- No, it's not hard to get pussy.
You had a beautiful girlfriend for many years, right?
- Yeah, that's true.
- Smart, beautiful, kind.
- But what I'm saying is it is harder for me
than you guys. - No, it's not.
- It is.
- Do you get DMs?
- Have you tried?
- Do you guys get DMs?
- Have you tried?
- What do you mean?
- You get DMs from random?
- What do you even mean, bro?
- From girls, just girls that you don't know,
they just go, they send you breast pics.
- Breast pics?
- Yeah.
- How big are they?
- Every variety.
- You know what's crazy about you is,
I know you like a fat, white tit.
- I do.
- You like a fat, white tit, dude.
- How did you know?
- It's just, it's something about you,
and you don't even want, dude,
and you're like a little kid around them, aren't you?
- Oh, I giggle.
- Yes, I do.
- You wanna shake 'em?
- I shake 'em, I get giggling like I'm in a fucking car.
- Take me to the ball pit.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, you know,
jumping into those little red and yellow balls,
that little--
- It's called the ball pit.
- It's a ball pit.
- The ball pit, I like it.
- You already said that.
- I like it, yeah.
- Hey, the reason you're not getting DMs
is because everybody on earth knows that you're
in a relationship.
- There you go.
- Now, you're going to get girls that are gonna go,
"Hey, I'd like to hang out with you.
What's going on, Bobby, you're single."
- They're gonna be thrown at you like crazy, dude.
- You're single now.
- Yes.
- But people didn't DM you
because they didn't think you were single.
- I don't wanna.
- Oh, you don't wanna?
- No.
- No, no, you do want it.
- I don't wanna.
- I don't feel, I love Kalilah
and I would never betray her.
- Why would that be betrayal?
- Time out.
- Yeah.
- You don't wanna fuck?
- Not right now, no.
- You don't wanna hang out?
- Nope.
- You don't wanna go on a date?
Not even have sex?
You don't wanna go talk to a girl?
- No, no.
- I don't know.
- Too fresh?
- Too fresh.
- Would you do role play?
Would you role play like you're not a--
- What if she role played like she was Kalilah?
- There you go.
- She's very good Kalilah.
- No, no, what if another woman
pretended to be Kalilah?
- They would have to be like a,
they have to take Miser Technique classes.
- Let's get them enrolled.
- Miser Technique classes
and really know how to add information,
so maybe some improv work from Chicago.
- Fine.
- Right?
And somebody that really doesn't break, right?
Because I know when they're breaking.
- Who's, okay, who's your dream girl?
Who's the girl that you're like,
it's unobtainable, she's a famous person.
Everybody knows who this is.
She's so hot, I'm not gonna get her,
but it's a thing.
- Like a taller Natalie Portman.
- Natalie Portman, let's get her enrolled.
She's a great actress.
- But she's gotta be tall, like five inches taller.
- All right, we'll stretch her out.
- Someone that looks like that,
but has that skills in terms of acting.
- This is your crush, forever.
- Yeah, yeah, but she's gotta be five inches taller.
'Cause I like taller girls.
- She's still taller than you.
- Nobody speaks English over here?
What are we trying to do?
What are we trying to--
- Hey, hey, two words, let me say something, right?
- Two words, cheap labor, okay?
- She's not taller, we're the same height.
- I think his acting got stronger.
Last time I was here, he spoke better English.
She tried to say something twice.
I had no fucking clue what was happening.
- Spain, Mexico, Philippines.
We can't hire Americans in this fucking place.
- You can't.
- No, we can't afford it.
It's so expensive now, dude.
These guys work no insurance over time.
- She's 5'3", and I'm 5'3",
so we're the same height.
- So you want somebody like 5'7"?
- 5'7", 5'8", that's my jam, right?
- Climb that tree.
- And they have to have that kind of skill set
where they can cry on cue and memorize their lines.
- Why do they need to cry?
- Because of the role play.
- Oh, 'cause they need to cry during your role play.
- Yeah.
- What are the role playing scenes where you make 'em cry?
- I don't want to get into that.
Now we're muddled territory, right?
- Maybe we could just talk about one of those.
What do you mean?
- Like, one of those scenarios.
Because that seemed like really cool.
- Well, I'll give you the beginning of the scenario,
but I won't go there, right?
- Okay, okay.
- So, I'm driving a car.
- Oh, I already know what this is.
- What?
- It's a poop on me thing?
- No, it's not a poop on me thing.
I'm driving in a car, and I'm in the desert
just driving down the street.
- It's a piss on me thing.
- Oh, there's a hitchhiker.
- Oh.
- Right, I pull over.
- Hit her by accident.
- Hey, young lady, hey, young lady.
Why is such a young lady hitchhiking alone?
- He loves the southern, he loves the southern accent.
- Alone at night.
- Well, little old me just got lost.
- Yeah, you need to, where are you going?
Maybe I can.
- I was just going maybe to go check out
one of these little bars up the road
and go have a drink.
- Oh, you like to see the city lights, huh?
- Love the city lights.
- Get in and I'm going to the city lights as well, my friend.
- How do I know I can trust you?
- You can trust me.
Look at this cross, right?
And that's a gigantic cross.
Look at this cross.
- Is that a little dead Jesus on that cross?
- Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.
- Maybe.
- Oh, wow.
- Get in.
- Maybe I don't want to.
- Shit, get in.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
My arms are broken and I dropped my couch down the desert.
Can you help me put the couch back into this?
- How are you dropping with no arms?
- Just help me with this couch.
Man, you're terrible at this.
- I dropped my couch in the desert.
- Right, but you have to back in with the couch.
- So wait, you go to wanting to fuck this girl to help, making her help you
move?
- Well, no, but this situation is like, you choose to go the direction of, you
took a long time to get in the car.
- Because you have to fucking work them up to you, they're not just gonna get
in the car.
- That's true, you are a stranger.
- In my scene.
- You're a stranger.
- Yeah, but it's like, you have to understand, it's a sexual, like, situation.
- All right, well then, Andrew can do it then.
- I don't want to do a lot of fucking, I don't want to do a lot of like.
- Go ahead and pick up Schultz then, go ahead.
- Right, the dialogue scene is too long.
- Yeah.
- Right, so you had to get in the car.
- All right, here we go.
- I actually, I thought it was really good.
- Give him the eyes.
- Thank you.
- I thought it was excellent, to be honest with you.
- It was accurate.
- Before you did the moving the couch thing, I thought you were both murdering
it, and I'm
being 100% honest, I was sitting here and I was going like, fuck, maybe there's
a skill to act.
Literally, I was like, God, these guys are like really good at acting.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- See, you just gotta, you gotta get there, you gotta get there a different way.
- All right.
- Yeah, why'd you take that big jump?
- Like, it was so realistic.
- I know, because, okay, let's--
- It was so realistic.
- Oh, let's cut, all right, so--
- In the line, the big city lights, that's funny.
- Let's go to the cross then, back to the cross.
- Yeah, let's go back to the cross.
- Is that--
- I'm the director.
- Yeah.
- I'm the director.
- I know you are.
- I'm the director.
- Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
- And if you don't like where it's going, you can say cut.
- No, thank you, can I say cut?
- Oh, that's--
- Can I do what the director does?
Hey, is that cool?
- Is this the only accent you're missing on this fucking show?
- Okay, you ready?
- It's--
- Okay, sound roll, okay.
- Roll in.
- And, sound speed, or whatever?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, roll in, and action.
- Well, I don't know if you could tell,
but I have a gigantic golden cross.
- I can see that.
- Of Jesus Christ.
- Are you religious?
- I am, in fact, I have--
- Which denomination?
- Presbyterian.
- Really?
- Baptist.
- Which one?
Those are two different ones.
- Well, I belong to one out of Waco, Texas,
that's a crossbreed.
We use both elements of the church.
- Wow.
- Anywho, I gotta go 'cause I gotta go to work.
- Oh.
- And so, I'm going toward the city lights.
If you wanna write, you don't have to if you don't trust me,
but if you'd like to get in the--
- I don't.
- Well, I see--
- You don't seem trustworthy.
- Well, then you have a nice night, lady,
and I hope you have a good night.
- Can I tell you something?
- What?
You try to pick up a girl on the side of the road?
- Yeah.
- Don't have your dick out.
Your dick is out.
- My bad.
- It is your bad.
- My bad.
You know what, can I tell you why?
- Are you putting it away, or what are you doing?
- I'm putting it away now.
I'll tell you why, lady.
- Okay.
- I'll tell you the reason why my penis was out.
- What is it?
- Because I have an infection down there,
and that's why if you think there's anything sexual
going on here, that would also be an impossibility
because I have an infection and I have to air it out
when I'm driving.
- You could've lost your accent.
- What?
Here I am.
What are you talking about?
No, it's because when I start talking about my genitalia.
- Uh-huh.
- Right, my accent, you know, I get so shy, you know.
- So this infection, what is it from?
- It's a rash that I got when I was fishing.
- Go on.
- You got a lot of splayings, dude.
- Well, what I, I have fly fish.
- It's the funniest scene in the history of the film.
I have fly fish.
- It's not even close.
- I have fly fish.
- Bro, the fact that you fucking, how did I get the rash?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Any way.
- But fishing?
- This is my favorite part.
He's coming to rape you, right?
And then you're like, well, I don't really trust you.
He's like, well, okay then.
I have work in the morning.
I gotta go.
- Like, you're not even committed.
- I am, because I want her to feel, because after that.
- You want her to want it.
- Yeah, because after that, she could go, you know what I mean?
She could go, oh, well, actually I will take a ride.
- You said you, you know what I mean?
That's what I was thinking.
- Oh, reverse psychology.
- She's asking for it.
- I was doing reverse psychology and I was thinking like,
maybe, oh, that's enough for her to go.
- Didn't work on me.
- I'll get in the car.
- It didn't work on this one, Randy.
- It didn't work on this girl.
No, no, no.
It didn't work on this girl, but you know what I mean?
Yeah.
- That's really impressive.
- How did you get that rash?
- Well, when I catch a fish, I unhook it
and I rub that thing on my dick for about 15, 20 minutes.
- No.
- That's how I descale it.
- How could you get a rash from fishing, by the way?
- Fly fishing.
- What is that even?
Go ahead.
- I don't know what it is.
- Where were you, how were you gonna get that?
- I don't know what it is.

Hitchhiker Role Play w/ Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino

- No, Bobby.
- It was a white girl who had really big butt
and big boobs. - White girl.
- And fat tits.
- No, that's how you know.
- Yup.
- You were doing it.
- You were doing it.
- You were doing it.
- Who, what, Nancy Pelosi?
- Who was it?
- Was it Nancy Pelosi?
- Who was it?
- She was an 80, listen, all right?
- But you like big fucking fat tits.
- No, that's not what it is.
- Yes, you do.
You like fat tits, bro.
And you like white girls with fat asses.
- Is that who it was in San Diego?
- It wasn't Nancy Pelosi.
- It was, yes, it was.
It was that.
It was that.
And you want to grab--
- Hey Jules, fuck you.
Jules, fuck you.
- Jules, you've done good.
- I'm just telling the truth.
- No, no, no, we were walking in a mall,
UTC mall, right?
- Yes.
- And there was a girl wearing like yoga,
like a tight yoga outfit.
- And what did you see?
- And she was so ugly and dumpy.
- No. - Stop it.
- Hey, bullshit, bullshit.
- You're lying.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you did.
- No, you're, fuck you.
- You're smirking.
- Yeah, like look at that fat piece of shit wearing now.
- No.
- You saw, you saw, what'd you see?
- I saw a fat piece of shit jiggly jiggly.
- No, you didn't.
- Tell us what happened.
- And then you were like, you were checking that out
and we had an argument about that.
Go fuck yourself.
- No.
- Now let me say something.
- I know.
- And did you look?
And she had super fat.
- And what does that even mean if I fucking looked?
- Yo, listen, you're a man, bro.
- That's right.
- You can look at however many asses and tits you want.
- That's true that, true that.
- Okay, you're in a mall.
- I know.
- It's your fucking world.
You're Bobby Lee.
- You're Bobby Lee.
- You're out here single, ready to mingle.
- True that.
- You want to stuff that face in some fat white girl tits.
- But I know, but it's so funny that you white dudes,
white dudes like you guys.
- I'm not white, bro, I'm Italian.
- Whatever.
You're both Italian.
You Italian dudes.
They're a taller, fairly good looking, right?
Very funny at your craft, right?
- I thought I was good looking
before I came to the fucking podcast
and she said I look like Gilbert.
- You think it's easier for you to get women
than for me to get women?
- Yes, that's the system we've developed.
- I know.
- That's the story in the world.
- And it's also easier for you to get food in America.
So you came here.
So you have to put up with that.
That's the sacrifice you make
when your family brings you here.
- It's a little harder to get laid,
but there's food every day and a refrigerator, right?
It's a little bit harder.
There's food every day and there's a refrigerator.
That's just what it is.
- It was funny, but I want to fight you.
- No, but this is the payoff.
- It's funny, but I want to fight.
- It's funny, but I want to fight.
- This is the payoff.
- This is what your family worked for.
- Yeah.
Okay, so I'm here.
Thank you for the food.
Thank you for the delicious food.
- You're welcome.
- And I love refrigerating my meats.
- It's great to refrigerate your food.
- Right, so thank you so much.
But what I'm saying is that,
does it have to be that hard to get pussy?
- No, it's not hard to get pussy.
You had a beautiful girlfriend for many years, right?
- Yeah, that's true.
- Smart, beautiful, kind.
- But what I'm saying is it is harder for me
than you guys. - No, it's not.
- It is.
- Do you get DMs?
- Have you tried?
- Do you guys get DMs?
- Have you tried?
- What do you mean?
- You get DMs from random?
- What do you even mean, bro?
- From girls, just girls that you don't know,
they just go, they send you breast pics.
- Breast pics?
- Yeah.
- How big are they?
- Every variety.
- You know what's crazy about you is,
I know you like a fat, white tit.
- I do.
- You like a fat, white tit, dude.
- How did you know?
- It's just, it's something about you,
and you don't even want, dude,
and you're like a little kid around them, aren't you?
- Oh, I giggle.
- Yes, I do.
- You wanna shake 'em?
- I shake 'em, I get giggling like I'm in a fucking car.
- Take me to the ball pit.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, you know,
jumping into those little red and yellow balls,
that little--
- It's called the ball pit.
- It's a ball pit.
- The ball pit, I like it.
- You already said that.
- I like it, yeah.
- Hey, the reason you're not getting DMs
is because everybody on earth knows that you're
in a relationship.
- There you go.
- Now, you're going to get girls that are gonna go,
"Hey, I'd like to hang out with you.
What's going on, Bobby, you're single."
- They're gonna be thrown at you like crazy, dude.
- You're single now.
- Yes.
- But people didn't DM you
because they didn't think you were single.
- I don't wanna.
- Oh, you don't wanna?
- No.
- No, no, you do want it.
- I don't wanna.
- I don't feel, I love Kalilah
and I would never betray her.
- Why would that be betrayal?
- Time out.
- Yeah.
- You don't wanna fuck?
- Not right now, no.
- You don't wanna hang out?
- Nope.
- You don't wanna go on a date?
Not even have sex?
You don't wanna go talk to a girl?
- No, no.
- I don't know.
- Too fresh?
- Too fresh.
- Would you do role play?
Would you role play like you're not a--
- What if she role played like she was Kalilah?
- There you go.
- She's very good Kalilah.
- No, no, what if another woman
pretended to be Kalilah?
- They would have to be like a,
they have to take Miser Technique classes.
- Let's get them enrolled.
- Miser Technique classes
and really know how to add information,
so maybe some improv work from Chicago.
- Fine.
- Right?
And somebody that really doesn't break, right?
Because I know when they're breaking.
- Who's, okay, who's your dream girl?
Who's the girl that you're like,
it's unobtainable, she's a famous person.
Everybody knows who this is.
She's so hot, I'm not gonna get her,
but it's a thing.
- Like a taller Natalie Portman.
- Natalie Portman, let's get her enrolled.
She's a great actress.
- But she's gotta be tall, like five inches taller.
- All right, we'll stretch her out.
- Someone that looks like that,
but has that skills in terms of acting.
- This is your crush, forever.
- Yeah, yeah, but she's gotta be five inches taller.
'Cause I like taller girls.
- She's still taller than you.
- Nobody speaks English over here?
What are we trying to do?
What are we trying to--
- Hey, hey, two words, let me say something, right?
- Two words, cheap labor, okay?
- She's not taller, we're the same height.
- I think his acting got stronger.
Last time I was here, he spoke better English.
She tried to say something twice.
I had no fucking clue what was happening.
- Spain, Mexico, Philippines.
We can't hire Americans in this fucking place.
- You can't.
- No, we can't afford it.
It's so expensive now, dude.
These guys work no insurance over time.
- She's 5'3", and I'm 5'3",
so we're the same height.
- So you want somebody like 5'7"?
- 5'7", 5'8", that's my jam, right?
- Climb that tree.
- And they have to have that kind of skill set
where they can cry on cue and memorize their lines.
- Why do they need to cry?
- Because of the role play.
- Oh, 'cause they need to cry during your role play.
- Yeah.
- What are the role playing scenes where you make 'em cry?
- I don't want to get into that.
Now we're muddled territory, right?
- Maybe we could just talk about one of those.
What do you mean?
- Like, one of those scenarios.
Because that seemed like really cool.
- Well, I'll give you the beginning of the scenario,
but I won't go there, right?
- Okay, okay.
- So, I'm driving a car.
- Oh, I already know what this is.
- What?
- It's a poop on me thing?
- No, it's not a poop on me thing.
I'm driving in a car, and I'm in the desert
just driving down the street.
- It's a piss on me thing.
- Oh, there's a hitchhiker.
- Oh.
- Right, I pull over.
- Hit her by accident.
- Hey, young lady, hey, young lady.
Why is such a young lady hitchhiking alone?
- He loves the southern, he loves the southern accent.
- Alone at night.
- Well, little old me just got lost.
- Yeah, you need to, where are you going?
Maybe I can.
- I was just going maybe to go check out
one of these little bars up the road
and go have a drink.
- Oh, you like to see the city lights, huh?
- Love the city lights.
- Get in and I'm going to the city lights as well, my friend.
- How do I know I can trust you?
- You can trust me.
Look at this cross, right?
And that's a gigantic cross.
Look at this cross.
- Is that a little dead Jesus on that cross?
- Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.
- Maybe.
- Oh, wow.
- Get in.
- Maybe I don't want to.
- Shit, get in.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
My arms are broken and I dropped my couch down the desert.
Can you help me put the couch back into this?
- How are you dropping with no arms?
- Just help me with this couch.
Man, you're terrible at this.
- I dropped my couch in the desert.
- Right, but you have to back in with the couch.
- So wait, you go to wanting to fuck this girl to help, making her help you
move?
- Well, no, but this situation is like, you choose to go the direction of, you
took a long time to get in the car.
- Because you have to fucking work them up to you, they're not just gonna get
in the car.
- That's true, you are a stranger.
- In my scene.
- You're a stranger.
- Yeah, but it's like, you have to understand, it's a sexual, like, situation.
- All right, well then, Andrew can do it then.
- I don't want to do a lot of fucking, I don't want to do a lot of like.
- Go ahead and pick up Schultz then, go ahead.
- Right, the dialogue scene is too long.
- Yeah.
- Right, so you had to get in the car.
- All right, here we go.
- I actually, I thought it was really good.
- Give him the eyes.
- Thank you.
- I thought it was excellent, to be honest with you.
- It was accurate.
- Before you did the moving the couch thing, I thought you were both murdering
it, and I'm
being 100% honest, I was sitting here and I was going like, fuck, maybe there's
a skill to act.
Literally, I was like, God, these guys are like really good at acting.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- See, you just gotta, you gotta get there, you gotta get there a different way.
- All right.
- Yeah, why'd you take that big jump?
- Like, it was so realistic.
- I know, because, okay, let's--
- It was so realistic.
- Oh, let's cut, all right, so--
- In the line, the big city lights, that's funny.
- Let's go to the cross then, back to the cross.
- Yeah, let's go back to the cross.
- Is that--
- I'm the director.
- Yeah.
- I'm the director.
- I know you are.
- I'm the director.
- Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
- And if you don't like where it's going, you can say cut.
- No, thank you, can I say cut?
- Oh, that's--
- Can I do what the director does?
Hey, is that cool?
- Is this the only accent you're missing on this fucking show?
- Okay, you ready?
- It's--
- Okay, sound roll, okay.
- Roll in.
- And, sound speed, or whatever?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, roll in, and action.
- Well, I don't know if you could tell,
but I have a gigantic golden cross.
- I can see that.
- Of Jesus Christ.
- Are you religious?
- I am, in fact, I have--
- Which denomination?
- Presbyterian.
- Really?
- Baptist.
- Which one?
Those are two different ones.
- Well, I belong to one out of Waco, Texas,
that's a crossbreed.
We use both elements of the church.
- Wow.
- Anywho, I gotta go 'cause I gotta go to work.
- Oh.
- And so, I'm going toward the city lights.
If you wanna write, you don't have to if you don't trust me,
but if you'd like to get in the--
- I don't.
- Well, I see--
- You don't seem trustworthy.
- Well, then you have a nice night, lady,
and I hope you have a good night.
- Can I tell you something?
- What?
You try to pick up a girl on the side of the road?
- Yeah.
- Don't have your dick out.
Your dick is out.
- My bad.
- It is your bad.
- My bad.
You know what, can I tell you why?
- Are you putting it away, or what are you doing?
- I'm putting it away now.
I'll tell you why, lady.
- Okay.
- I'll tell you the reason why my penis was out.
- What is it?
- Becau