Name: Bobby's H3 Cologne | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-09-12T19:00:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's H3 Cologne | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's H3 Cologne | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-12. Transcript available.

I like that.
Have you guys ever thought of getting a fragrance?
Because I wonder what your fragrances would be.
Oh, dude, I'm working on one with H3.
Do you know that?
With Ethan Klein?
Yeah.
They have a fragrance thing?
Yeah.
They do?
Yeah.
What's yours going to smell like?
Can I tell you what it's called first?
One, two, three.
Noodles.
No?
No.
Do noodles have a smell?
Noodles smell delicious.
Are you out of your mind?
Yeah, I've never smelled a noodle, though.
I eat them.
You've never smelled noodles?
You smell them first and then eat them?
Yes, the steam that's wafting off of noodles when they're cooked is so good.
Two things I don't smell.
Rice, steamed rice, or noodles?
Yeah, I know.
Because you just inhale them.
So, let me explain to you.
That's how you eat.
Yeah, yeah.
Let me explain.
Why is the slurping such a big deal in Asia?
It's a huge deal.
It's so gross.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hate it.
You should see when they suck dick.
What do they do?
Oh, really?
Yeah, it's like a large slurp.
It's a go-gurt.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Slurping and belching during a meal are acceptable,
as long as these are considered attributes to the quality of the food.
Right, but the slurping is so gross.
So, if I was going to ask you to describe the smell of a noodle, please do.
Okay.
Yeah.
Ready?
I've been.
Crested, crested sunshine laying over a tiny hill as wheat waves in the wind.
My wife, my son, my dog, and my friend walk slowly through a field.
What the fuck?
It's a Hemingway.
It's a Hemingway novel.
Yeah.
No, what the fuck does it smell?
I don't get enough.
That's what it smells like in my fucking head.
No, if you were going to describe a smell, an alien race comes down.
Beep-bop.
What do noodles smell like?
Asian fingers.
There you go.
And that's to the point.
Well, there you go.
My cologne is called bird flu.
Oh, my God.
No, it is.
So, it comes in a blue bird bottle, but the bird's dead.
So, it's got X's on his eyes, right?
And the smell is going to be lychee fruit and some woodsy smell, like an oak.
Oh, I like that.
Like a woodsy, lychee kind of fruit.
Okay.
Yeah.
I can't wait to smell it.
It's going to be great.
I don't know.
Yeah, what's your cologne?
What would mine be called?
Yeah.
And what would it smell like?
My cologne would be called cirrhosis.
And it would smell like whiskey.
What does a bottle look like?
Huh?
I'm at fucking Sephora.
And I go to the lady, oh, where's your cirrhosis?
Oh, which?
You want the summer or the winter edition?
I want the summer edition of cirrhosis.
Cirrhosis comes in a little tombstone.
Yeah.
And when you open the tombstone up, it has my smell in there.
Whoa.
And it's whiskey and the smell of skin rotting to a chair.
Oh, that's pretty good.
Nice, right?
Pretty good.
What's your cologne?
Perfume.
Perfume.
Probably like open wound.
Ooh.
I would buy open wound.
What does it smell like?
What does the bottle look like for us?
It looks like a glass box of tampons.
Very cool.
Pretty good.
Very good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Classy.
Yeah.
And it smells like roses.
Yeah.
And menstrual blood.
Oh, yum, yum, yum, yum.
Love.
It's so funny to look over at the boys at Pete and Carlos and they both are
going, hmm.
They're nodding off.
Yeah.
That's the smell that people want to smell.
This is not pussy.
That's what pussy smells like to me.
Roses?
Roses and menstrual blood.
Like a combo.
The way that you don't smell noodles or rice, I don't smell pussy.
I can't smell anything.
You really smell nothing?
Nothing.
That's amazing.
Nothing.
What about butthole?
That I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That I know where I am.
The distinct smell of butthole.
Well, because you know I have distorted visions.
I know where I'm at.
Once I get to the butthole, I know where I'm at.
Right.
Have you ever licked a butthole thinking it was the pussy?
Like you went too deep down?
Can I tell you something?
Yeah.
No.
Insane.
Yeah, I have.
You have.
Yeah, because I close my eyes.
But you know which one's on top.
I don't know where directionally I am.
Are you guys able to move them?
Your butthole and your pussy, can you switch them?
I can't.
What a trick they could play on us.
Yeah, like can the butthole kind of go to the taint a little bit?
Yeah, can it move?
Yeah.
Can you shift it?
There is like a runway.
There's a runway.
I'm trying to do it right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The runway is like Hong Kong.
It's got to land between the buildings.
It's a tiny little runway between the butthole and the pussy.
But can you just squeeze tight and.
What if you got surgery to make them right on top of each other?
What do you mean?
If they cut out the taint and made it even closer.
I wouldn't want that.
No, you know how funny?
No, that's still.
You wouldn't like to do that?
Number one.
What is that?
I would hate to be your roommate.
Fuck-a-mole.
It's like whack-a-mole.
Is he popping popcorn?
It's movie night.
Yeah, no, I wouldn't want that.
You wouldn't want it?
It's just two smells.
You'd be too close together.
It would create a singular smell.
Imagine if they blended and they blended well, much like bird flu.
What if the smell of lychee and the woods is similar to butthole and vagina?
But we tested the smell already.
This is a real clinical thing.
We're doing it.
But why call it bird flu?
I just think it's funny.
You know what I mean?
It's going to sell.
It might smell.
You know it's going to sell.
But what I'm saying is that we don't know what the combination of smell is
going to do.
So I'd rather get the smell.
Smell it first and then get the operation.
You don't want to get the operation before you know what it smells like.
I think put the cart before the horse.
I think we figured it.
I think you put the fucking operation into play and hope that thing smells good.
And if it doesn't, what happens?
Big fucking deal.
Then you move on with your life.
Oops.
Oops.
Then you'll call it oops.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it might sell more.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah.