Name: Andrew Pisses Bobby Off At The Comedy Store | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-09-14T17:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Pisses Bobby Off At The Comedy Store | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Pisses Bobby Off At The Comedy Store | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-14. Transcript available.

Do you have a car freshener in your car?
No, but I want to get one because I had an In-N-Out today with Daniel.
We ate in the car, and my car smelled really bad on the way there.
What was your order?
This is the number two combo.
Number two is a double-double.
No onions.
No, a regular cheeseburger.
Is Daniel jealous that you're funnier than him?
We don't talk about that.
Oh, my God.
That's so mean.
I'm kidding.
He's very funny.
He's so funny.
Oh, he doesn't watch the show?
He's a funny guy.
Fuck you, Daniel.
Fuck you, Daniel.
Bitch.
He's a funny guy.
I was just trying to be mean.
So, you guys had In-N-Out in the car?
You didn't want to eat it outside?
We had a long drive back.
From where?
A wedding shower in Seal Beach.
Sorry, sorry.
A wedding shower?
Yeah.
What does that mean?
You celebrated them getting-
Was it a baby shower?
I don't know the word for it.
So, it's their wedding-
Don't make it up.
That's what it said.
It was called a wedding shower.
Oh, it was?
Okay.
Yeah, it was like a celebration because we're not going to go to the wedding
because it's
like in another state.
But you did go to a wedding.
Oh, it's a wedding for poor people.
It's a wedding for like the celebration before the celebration.
Bobby.
What?
You're right.
It's true though, right?
It is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's for your poor friends.
It's for your poor friends.
Yeah, like me.
Yeah.
Okay, I get it.
Yeah.
So, they go, hey.
I just realized what I went to today.
Where is the wedding at?
Another state.
I don't know.
You don't give a shit.
You already did this.
Did you give them a gift?
Yeah, on the registry.
I'm going to- I have it yet.
Well, you have a year.
Yeah, I have time.
What do you think you're planning on getting them?
I don't know.
I go on the registry and I'm just going to find-
The cheapest thing.
No, the coolest thing.
Like, I saw like ceramic bowls, but I'm like, that seems like a boring gift.
But they put it on the registry, so they must want it.
I think people sometimes put stuff on a registry because they think they're
supposed to.
Yeah.
How much is it?
40 bucks.
Great.
Buy it.
Get done.
That's it.
They'll love it.
What's the most expensive thing on the registry?
I don't know.
Do you have it available for us to look at?
I could send you the link, but I have to get my phone.
Because I kind of want to look at it and I think we should buy them the most
expensive
thing on there.
That would be awesome.
That would be cool.
For her.
And we buy it?
Yeah.
Let them think about it.
We're going to buy it.
I don't know.
If ceramic bowls are $40, I don't think they're fucking registries.
I know.
Can I just say something?
With Eric Griffin, I still haven't bought anything.
And can I say something?
I probably not.
You know why?
Why?
We went to the wedding.
Oh, that's true.
We went all the way there.
Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
If I'm going to go all the way to your wedding, where were we?
No more.
Honestly, I have no idea.
We were nowhere.
I have no idea where we were.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was like Gardens of the Galaxy.
Nowhere.
If we went all the way there, that was our gift.
Go back to that page real fast.
That's exactly where his wedding was.
That's where Eric Griffin's wedding was?
Yeah, nowhere.
Go to that other page real fast.
So look at this.
Erectovaginal fistula is an abnormal connection between the lower portion of
your large intestine
and your rectum and your vagina.
Look at this.
Bowel contents leak through the fistula, allowing gas or stool to pass through
your vagina.
You can actually poop out of your puss.
I mean, it has been a dream.
I feel bad with women that have Crohn's disease.
Why?
Because sometimes they get poo in their pussies.
Well, that's what that was.
I know.
Well, what about men who have Crohn's disease?
They don't have pussies.
It's in the dick?
They get poop on their penis, I bet.
Inside.
Does it come out?
What if your wiener could fart?
You wouldn't hear it.
The hole's too small.
No, it would be like this.
Mine would go.
Mine would go.
Mine would go.
There'd be juice.
Wedding registries are absolutely insane.
They're insane.
And inappropriate.
But we're going to buy the most expensive thing on here.
We're going to do it.
But it's cool.
If I ever get married, I'm going to get married in a place where people can't
afford to go
so they don't go.
I'll go.
Wherever the fuck it is.
I know.
That's right.
I know you'll go.
Yeah.
Right?
But she won't go.
No.
What if we fly her?
No.
I'll fly you.
Please don't fly her.
I'm going to fly her.
No, because I'm going to do one of those fucking shower weddings.
At the belly room.
Okay, good.
I'll do a shower wedding at the belly room.
One night, I'm already there.
Right?
Yeah.
And go, yay.
You know what I mean?
Do a spot.
Go upstairs.
Yeah.
I'll just do one yay.
And then they'll clap.
And then I'm out.
Do you want to tell me what you called me about last night in the middle of the
night?
You don't have to say it.
What was it?
I don't remember.
Who gave you a gift last night?
Oh, I could say it.
Let's talk about it.
Because Bobby called me.
We both had sets back to back at the store.
By the way.
Yeah.
How do you say it?
Hold on.
Let me set this up.
Yeah.
I will say, and I mean this.
Yeah.
You know, we're going to look back.
I'm being serious.
Can I be genuine for two minutes?
Yeah.
We're going to look back in a decade and we're going to go, man, remember how
fun it was those
nights at the store when I would bring you on or you'd bring me on?
Yeah.
And I'm being genuine when I say this.
I mean this from my heart.
Yeah.
It's the most fun I've ever had in my life as a comedian is when you and I are
having fun
and we bring each other on and the energy is good and the show is good.
And I mean it.
You're going to look back when you're fucking old and done and you're going to
go, that was
the time of our life.
I'm serious.
I mean it.
Here's why I said what I said, though.
All right.
Is that I don't know why, but it's always me after you.
And you always kill so hard.
You're one of the best comics.
But.
You kill so hard.
And then what you do is you play trickery on stage.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah, you do.
No.
I bring you on.
I say.
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
You do this shit.
You say my name.
Right.
And then you'll pretend to leave.
Yeah.
You'll go in the audience.
Yeah.
While I'm telling my jokes, you're still like in the audience, standing up,
getting claps
for yourself.
I got to shake the fans' hands.
I know.
Then you come back up on stage.
Sometimes they want me back up there.
I know.
And I don't like it.
Well, I'm going to keep doing it.
Because it means the world to me.
All right.
If it gives you joy.
I'm sharing the stage with my best friend.
So sue me.
I'm having a blast.
If it gives you joy, then do it.
You know how people run the light at the Oscars and they play the music and all
that shit?
I don't like it.
I love it.
You do?
Fuck them.
Fuck the time.
Fuck you.
By the way, they play off music?
No.
Let me say my shit until I'm done.
Let me say, though.
This is my moment in the sun.
But you have to understand this, all right?
If you look at the lineup, right?
It's hard hitters before me.
It's a sold-out room.
It's packed in the main room, right?
And it's like, you guys are killing.
And I just kind of want to go up and do the same.
You know what I mean?
But then I have to deal with other elements.
I don't like that.
Yeah, you.
But I help you.
A lot of times, they laugh.
I don't think it's a help.
They laugh.
For you.
They laugh with us.
Okay.
If you say so.
So let's say about the good thing.
What did I do last night?
Well, because I begged you on my hands and knees.
But what did I say?
I said it's my best friend.
My best friend on earth, ladies and gentlemen, Bobby Lee.
And that was perfect.
I bowed and I walked away.
Why'd you bow?
Yeah, you did it.
I bowed.
It's racist.
How?
Because now I bowed.
Yeah.
I know.
He bowed first.
And I'm like, in front of a packed room.
And I go, I'm going to have to bow.
Yeah.
Is bowing racist?
I don't think so.
Look that up.
How was that?
That's a sign of respect.
Nothing even came up.
Yes.
Oh, nothing came up.
All right.
So bow then.
Fine.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, but don't do the gong like you did.
Okay.
First of all.
The gong is too much.
They loved it.
I know.
But then you grab the mic in the back and go, I don't like that.
That's your calling card.
It's true.
It is a thing.
You know how they put Batman's cymbal in the sky?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When that.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's almost as if you float down.
All right.
Out of thin air.
That's your Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.
Okay.
So.
You know how they put it in the sky?