Name: Queen Bobby & "The Crown" | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-09-21T17:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Queen Bobby & "The Crown" | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Queen Bobby & "The Crown" | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-21. Transcript available.

the crown oh the show the crown yeah i will never i love that show well it's so
good may not will
not oh my god it's so good the crown's amazing i don't support the british elvis
it's all the
dark shit too bro it's all the weird dark shit the diana shit all that dark
shit what about the
incest there was no incest oh they skipped over the incest oh they fucked each
other do you mean
there's no incest in the royal family prince charles looks like that not from
incest he's
just a fucked up looking dude google incest in the royal family the whole their
whole they're
predicated their whole history is about fucking incest their whole shit they
fucked each other
is the royal family inbred you better believe it look what it says queen elizabeth
ii prince philip
do share two common lineages this would make the most this this would make the
most inbred living
british royals their children yeah but if it's like second third cousins it's
okay you know it's not
thank you it is okay if it's second or third cousin if you're justifying
something that you did with
your cousins leave it out of the show no i'm not i'm not doing that i'm
defending the people
did you fuck one of your cousins no i'm defending the people that are in love
with their second or
third cousin no i'm not defending these people that's insane all right well i'm
going to say
right now okay there's no fucking scientific proof that if you make love and
have a baby with your
third cousin that the baby's going to come out all whack i wish i want to see
the scientific proof
baby came out whack ask can you have babies with your third cousin i mean you
can and will they come out
whack will they come out whack and will they come out whack i feel like the
probability in short yes
it is legal for second and third cousins to marry in the u.s beyond that state
laws get a little more
complicated according to the national conference bingo so it's not against the
law 25 states prohibit
marriages between first cousins that's gross that's too the blood is too thick
it's there any blood is
what they like here's the they like the thick blood that's right why they do it
in arizona the first
cousin is marriage allowed if both parties are 65 or older and no one and or or
one of them is
infertile so they're basically saying if you're too old to have kids or one of
them can't have kids
then you guys might as well just fuck until you're dead you're 65 that's why a
lot of people retire to
arizona oh wow yeah that's a big retirement community yeah uh proof of genetic
counseling from a
genetic counselor in maine all you got to do is prove that you guys uh know it
and are okay with
it minnesota says only certain types hey that's so funny what kind of cousins
can get married here
well certain types same thing in fucking wisconsin another fucking scott he
said if the woman is 55
or older is permanently sterile only both parties are 65 or older is the same
thing in utah
wow wow so you got to prove that you can't have kids yeah what if you use
somebody else's data to
prove you can't have kids just so you can sneak by the system to have kids with
your cousin and they
catch you they put you in jail it's dope yeah but if you make love to your
first cousin have a kid
would they come out weird yes okay because i know brother and sister yeah don't
do it if you're
thinking about it don't i don't and none of my cousins are attractive i don't
know yeah none of
them are okay yeah yeah and i've never met a second cousin you've never met a
second cousin no
huh yeah have you yeah is there a second cousin that you have that's a cute boy
no how about third
cousin no you wouldn't think it's you won't even think about it they're almost
all women okay yeah
and still no are you the only good looking one like i there i have a try that's
a yes yeah that
sounds like a yes you have a what i've attracted family members but i've never
thought about wanting
to sure like yeah yeah i'm not no you've been defending it since the jump no i
haven't i'm just
saying technically i wouldn't do it but i i just think that on paper third
cousin wouldn't be weird
it would be i think this is sally my wife she's a third cousin why would you
tell everybody i would
have to tell people no well then it's weird no because it's out there i don't
want to google it
can you imagine at a party yeah hey this is my this is my wife sally hey sally
i'm i'm seven yeah
sally's my third cousin immediately i don't like those people
you're right they're gross you wouldn't announce it no dude how many people are
on earth how many
humans are on earth billions yeah billions yeah yeah why do you need options
why do you need a cousin
what if you're let me just propose start driving go to a new place there are
some places right in
idaho right where they're rural uh-huh right small community uh-huh what if it's
like a certain type
of religion where it's like we you know they have their own cult and your
options are slim uh-huh
right you have second and third cousins running around what are you gonna do
leave yeah leave town
there's a lot of towns but they don't know because it's like they don't they're
not supposed to
television they're not what do you mean everybody knows that a family member
would be wrong it's like
instinctual yeah yeah okay it's incest it's incestual sexual it's instinct it's
instinctual right it's
instinctual okay you know better i do yeah what if it what if you made love to
somebody that's your
brother or sister but they're not biological they were adopted well that's like
on every porn site
it's a fact yeah yeah but by the way they're adopted there's no blood there
that's fine that's that's
that i mean it i don't love the idea so what woody allen did was fine that's
not true they did questioning yeah yeah yeah he raised that girl that's gross
okay that's gross
okay if two people were raised together i'm just throwing out ideas i don't
believe anything i say
check it out i'm a boy my parents my mom remarries and a guy who and a guy who
has a girl
uh and we find each other attractive which i think happens i'm kind of okay
with it because
there's no relation they're just strangers that met in its proximity yeah but
if there's any sort
of family lineage at all yeah 80th cousin uh-huh gross okay what about this
scenario gross can i throw
out can i throw it out to you i bet it's gross it probably isn't go all right
let me i will throw it
it to you okay okay i feel like it's gonna be gross too thank you it's not
gonna be gross all right
let's suppose you were adopted okay all right and you didn't know your family
lineage right and you
love your adoptive parents you have a great life right you go on tinder you
meet a guy right you
fall on with this guy right and you start having sex with the guy you're really
in love and then you
guys do a you know a dna yeah you know ancestry.com like most third dates yeah
you find out your
biological brother that was your what would you do throw up and then and then i'm
out of there yeah
that's it you made the mistake you got to move on even if he begs like come on
we have something going
yeah i'd be like we're clearly not meant for each other yeah but you swallowed
my cum
insane all right let's flip it on you yeah yeah because we obviously have a
proper stance on this
yeah yeah what would you do nothing absolutely nothing are you kidding that's
crazy here you are
single you're back out of the dating scene you date someone it turns out yeah
your mom had a kid
that you didn't know about shush different dad different dad same dad i have
the same dad and mom
that's it's your sister okay my biological sister that's what you said to her
yeah yeah what don't
give me the same scenario i'm just flipping it to make it seem broader all
right go ahead your mom
and your dad yeah have a girl they get rid of already no all right here your
mom fucks a guy yeah who's
cool right and the daughter runs away yeah and fucking she comes to a show she
doesn't know right you
don't know she doesn't know right you hook up yeah and she says you know i'm
gonna do that 23 and me
thing yeah i would say i already did it oh yeah and what did you find i found
that 90 korean 10 japanese
oh cool yeah yeah i found out that i have like a brother yeah yeah cool yeah
what's your mom's name
genie oh my god that was my mom's name yeah holy where where is she from korea
same okay but where
does she live in southern california did she live here she lives in arizona
wait my mom now lives in
there and she used to live in your biological mom powe i'm from powe wait a
minute we can still
fuck by the way she's figuring it out trying to get out of it he's trying to
find a way to stay in it
no i i try to get it get it again in one more smash you want one more yeah for
all time's sake
no i would never it'll be gross you're right yucky yucky i know we forced you
into that yeah you
actually don't find it that gross but still i'm glad you turned i turned
because you were in no
i wouldn't fuck come on man dude okay yeah it's kind of like old boy what it's
kind of like old
boy in a way yeah an old boy you see the movie old boy no oh my god it's one of
the greatest
movies ever made wait it's it's a korean movie it's one of the greatest movies
i have the posters
framed in my fucking that is one of the greatest movies don't tell him because
i got
so let me tell you about this movie bill burr had a birthday party when i first
met him and i brought
this movie on dvd this is back when streaming was in the thing and i gave him
this movie he still
talks about this movie this is the first korean dude dude that old boy dude i
love when you brought
me that movie yeah he literally fucking he says that i bought him that it's
please watch this movie i'm
gonna watch it it is fucking amazing you're in it well can i say something that
100 the little girl
to the right looks like you that's bobby lee oh i thought you meant i was
mixing joy you are mixing
joy yeah the guy he literally is what i want to be everything about what no no
no i think that's
cool yeah yeah like like i i've like literally i literally i'm not afraid to
look older yeah because
of this dude oh because yeah this good dude is like my dude that dude in this
movie he does a scene in
this movie and i'm not going to tell you what it is and you'll tell me what it
is because you'll know
when you see it does he have a hammer i know yeah that scene is so crazy and it's
like if you technically
even as a director and an actor you wouldn't be able to do it well he's not
building something i can
tell yeah i know you wouldn't be able to do this scene it's one shot it's
insane imagine he's just
putting together an ikea desk with this hammer yeah but wait till you see wait
wait yeah wait
till you see this movie is so amazing i'm gonna see it and then can i just tell
you the premise or no
no i want to watch it all right let me watch you watch elvis watch elvis first
never all right
all right fuck that all right by the way shout out to bill burr for playing fenway
that's insane
where's that fenway is the baseball stadium that uh the boston red sox play in
and he he's playing
it right now i think now i think he did it last night maybe i have no idea but
do bill burr fenway
but he put up a photo and it just made me feel so good for him i fucking he's
the best i love
him so much he's better than the best he's the coolest nicest guy in the world
he's the
august 21st that was uh yesterday or today that's right now wow fenway park
dude so to him i know this
means nothing to you but to him i mean dude this is like my your childhood like
for me it'd be like
playing wrigley field in chicago it's like it's insane oh my god it's sort of
like eddie vetter
plays wrigley field and it's like it'd be doing that look at there he is there's
our boy billy
i'm gonna be here sunday august 21st there's still a couple of tickets left uh
come down and listen to
my ignorance as i scream out there uh the triangle will you hit inside the park
home runs so proud
of him man can you imagine selling at a baseball stadium where where where
where two teams play one
man is able to sell them tickets where two teams play yeah that blows my
fucking we sold 200 seats in
new york so that's pretty good no it was i think it was 116. 116 seats yeah
yeah that's pretty good no
we did we sold it 37 000. wow that's how i see insane dude i can't even like i
comprehend well i
don't know if he sold out i don't know if that's what the seating was for stand-up
but still it's
insane can you imagine if i don't think he sold 37 but imagine like how many
follows you how many how
how many followers you have on instagram well for a concert it's still 37 40
how many like over 40.
so whatever everyone what if what if all of them came to see you perform at one
time i can't fathom
that i mean that's nuts yeah by the way we did sell two shows fast in gramercy
in new york because
it was a pop-up show we didn't know we were going to do it last minute and we're
gonna we're gonna
fucking um we're gonna do a tour now thanks for coming thanks for coming
appreciate it hey thank you
guys for everything you've done for me i really don't care really grateful we
we will do it for
the rest of i care and i love you we love you i love you guys come see me and
juicy in salt lake
city september 9 and 10. honestly like you you add something to this you add
something to the show
that's uh pretty cool you've it's beyond pretty cool it's a fucking incredible
yeah and uh why don't
you thank them for being bad friends and take us out thank you for being a bad
friend
so

Queen Bobby & "The Crown" | Bad Friends Clips

the crown oh the show the crown yeah i will never i love that show well it's so
good may not will
not oh my god it's so good the crown's amazing i don't support the british elvis
it's all the
dark shit too bro it's all the weird dark shit the diana shit all that dark
shit what about the
incest there was no incest oh they skipped over the incest oh they fucked each
other do you mean
there's no incest in the royal family prince charles looks like that not from
incest he's
just a fucked up looking dude google incest in the royal family the whole their
whole they're
predicated their whole history is about fucking incest their whole shit they
fucked each other
is the royal family inbred you better believe it look what it says queen elizabeth
ii prince philip
do share two common lineages this would make the most this this would make the
most inbred living
british royals their children yeah but if it's like second third cousins it's
okay you know it's not
thank you it is okay if it's second or third cousin if you're justifying
something that you did with
your cousins leave it out of the show no i'm not i'm not doing that i'm
defending the people
did you fuck one of your cousins no i'm defending the people that are in love
with their second or
third cousin no i'm not defending these people that's insane all right well i'm
going to say
right now okay there's no fucking scientific proof that if you make love and
have a baby with your
third cousin that the baby's going to come out all whack i wish i want to see
the scientific proof
baby came out whack ask can you have babies with your third cousin i mean you
can and will they come out
whack will they come out whack and will they come out whack i feel like the
probability in short yes
it is legal for second and third cousins to marry in the u.s beyond that state
laws get a little more
complicated according to the national conference bingo so it's not against the
law 25 states prohibit
marriages between first cousins that's gross that's too the blood is too thick
it's there any blood is
what they like here's the they like the thick blood that's right why they do it
in arizona the first
cousin is marriage allowed if both parties are 65 or older and no one and or or
one of them is
infertile so they're basically saying if you're too old to have kids or one of
them can't have kids
then you guys might as well just fuck until you're dead you're 65 that's why a
lot of people retire to
arizona oh wow yeah that's a big retirement community yeah uh proof of genetic
counseling from a
genetic counselor in maine all you got to do is prove that you guys uh know it
and are okay with
it minnesota says only certain types hey that's so funny what kind of cousins
can get married here
well certain types same thing in fucking wisconsin another fucking scott he
said if the woman is 55
or older is permanently sterile only both parties are 65 or older is the same
thing in utah
wow wow so you got to prove that you can't have kids yeah what if you use
somebody else's data to
prove you can't have kids just so you can sneak by the system to have kids with
your cousin and they
catch you they put you in jail it's dope yeah but if you make love to your
first cousin have a kid
would they come out weird yes okay because i know brother and sister yeah don't
do it if you're
thinking about it don't i don't and none of my cousins are attractive i don't
know yeah none of
them are okay yeah yeah and i've never met a second cousin you've never met a
second cousin no
huh yeah have you yeah is there a second cousin that you have that's a cute boy
no how about third
cousin no you wouldn't think it's you won't even think about it they're almost
all women okay yeah
and still no are you the only good looking one like i there i have a try that's
a yes yeah that
sounds like a yes you have a what i've attracted family members but i've never
thought about wanting
to sure like yeah yeah i'm not no you've been defending it since the jump no i
haven't i'm just
saying technically i wouldn't do it but i i just think that on paper third
cousin wouldn't be weird
it would be i think this is sally my wife she's a third cousin why would you
tell everybody i would
have to tell people no well then it's weird no because it's out there i don't
want to google it
can you imagine at a party yeah hey this is my this is my wife sally hey sally
i'm i'm seven yeah
sally's my third cousin immediately i don't like those people
you're right they're gross you wouldn't announce it no dude how many people are
on earth how many
humans are on earth billions yeah billions yeah yeah why do you need options
why do you need a cousin
what if you're let me just propose start driving go to a new place there are
some places right in
idaho right where they're rural uh-huh right small community uh-huh what if it's
like a certain type
of religion where it's like we you know they have their own cult and your
options are slim uh-huh
right you have second and third cousins running around what are you gonna do
leave yeah leave town
there's a lot of towns but they don't know because it's like they don't they're
not supposed to
television they're not what do you mean everybody knows that a family member
would be wrong it's like
instinctual yeah yeah okay it's incest it's incestual sexual it's instinct it's
instinctual right it's
instinctual okay you know better i do yeah what if it what if you made love to
somebody that's your
brother or sister but they're not biological they were adopted well that's like
on every porn site
it's a fact yeah yeah but by the way they're adopted there's no blood there
that's fine that's that's
that i mean it i don't love the idea so what woody allen did was fine that's
not true they did questioning yeah yeah yeah he raised that girl that's gross
okay that's gross
okay if two people were raised together i'm just throwing out ideas i don't
believe anything i say
check it out i'm a boy my parents my mom remarries and a guy who and a guy who
has a girl
uh and we find each other attractive which i think happens i'm kind of okay
with it because
there's no relation they're just strangers that met in its proximity yeah but
if there's any sort
of family lineage at all yeah 80th cousin uh-huh gross okay what about this
scenario gross can i throw
out can i throw it out to you i bet it's gross it probably isn't go all right
let me i will throw it
it to you okay okay i feel like it's gonna be gross too thank you it's not
gonna be gross all right
let's suppose you were adopted okay all right and you didn't know your family
lineage right and you
love your adoptive parents you have a great life right you go on tinder you
meet a guy right you
fall on with this guy right and you start having sex with the guy you're really
in love and then you
guys do a you know a dna yeah you know ancestry.com like most third dates yeah
you find out your
biological brother that was your what would you do throw up and then and then i'm
out of there yeah
that's it you made the mistake you got to move on even if he begs like come on
we have something going
yeah i'd be like we're clearly not meant for each other yeah but you swallowed
my cum
insane all right let's flip it on you yeah yeah because we obviously have a
proper stance on this
yeah yeah what would you do nothing absolutely nothing are you kidding that's
crazy here you are
single you're back out of the dating scene you date someone it turns out yeah
your mom had a kid
that you didn't know about shush different dad different dad same dad i have
the same dad and mom
that's it's your sister okay my biological sister that's what you said to her
yeah yeah what don't
give me the same scenario i'm just flipping it to make it seem broader all
right go ahead your mom
and your dad yeah have a girl they get rid of already no all right here your
mom fucks a guy yeah who's
cool right and the daughter runs away yeah and fucking she comes to a show she
doesn't know right you
don't know she doesn't know right you hook up yeah and she says you know i'm
gonna do that 23 and me
thing yeah i would say i already did it oh yeah and what did you find i found
that 90 korean 10 japanese
oh cool yeah yeah i found out that i have like a brother yeah yeah cool yeah
what's your mom's name
genie oh my god that was my mom's name yeah holy where where is she from korea
same okay but where
does she live in southern california did she live here she lives in arizona
wait my mom now lives in
there and she used to live in your biological mom powe i'm from powe wait a
minute we can still
fuck by the way she's figuring it out trying to get out of it he's trying to
find a way to stay in it
no i i try to get it get it again in one more smash you want one more yeah for
all time's sake
no i would never it'll be gross you're right yucky yucky i know we forced you
into that yeah you
actually don't find it that gross but still i'm glad you turned i turned
because you were in no
i wouldn't fuck come on man dude okay yeah it's kind of like old boy what it's
kind of like old
boy in a way yeah an old boy you see the movie old boy no oh my god it's one of
the greatest
movies ever made wait it's it's a korean movie it's one of the greatest movies
i have the posters
framed in my fucking that is one of the greatest movies don't tell him because
i got
so let me tell you about this movie bill burr had a birthday party when i first
met him and i brought
this movie on dvd this is back when streaming was in the thing and i gave him
this movie he still
talks about this movie this is the first korean dude dude that old boy dude i
love when you brought
me that movie yeah he literally fucking he says that i bought him that it's
please watch this movie i'm
gonna watch it it is fucking amazing you're in it well can i say something that
100 the little girl
to the right looks like you that's bobby lee oh i thought you meant i was
mixing joy you are mixing
joy yeah the guy he literally is what i want to be everything about what no no
no i think that's
cool yeah yeah like like i i've like literally i literally i'm not afraid to
look older yeah because
of this dude oh because yeah this good dude is like my dude that dude in this
movie he does a scene in
this movie and i'm not going to tell you what it is and you'll tell me what it
is because you'll know
when you see it does he have a hammer i know yeah that scene is so crazy and it's
like if you technically
even as a director and an actor you wouldn't be able to do it well he's not
building something i can
tell yeah i know you wouldn't be able to do this scene it's one shot it's
insane imagine he's just
putting together an ikea desk with this hammer yeah but wait till you see wait
wait yeah wait
till you see this movie is so amazing i'm gonna see it and then can i just tell
you the premise or no
no i want to watch it all right let me watch you watch elvis watch elvis first
never all right
all right fuck that all right by the way shout out to bill burr for playing fenway
that's insane
where's that fenway is the baseball stadium that uh the boston red sox play in
and he he's playing
it right now i think now i think he did it last night maybe i have no idea but
do bill burr fenway
but he put up a photo and it just made me feel so good for him i fucking he's
the best i love
him so much he's better than the best he's the coolest nicest guy in the world
he's the
august 21st that was uh yesterday or today that's right now wow fenway park
dude so to him i know this
means nothing to you but to him i mean dude this is like my your childhood like
for me it'd be like
playing wrigley field in chicago it's like it's insane oh my god it's sort of
like eddie vetter
plays wrigley field and it's like it'd be doing that look at there he is there's
our boy billy
i'm gonna be here sunday august 21st there's still a couple of tickets left uh
come down and listen to
my ignorance as i scream out there uh the triangle