Name: Juicy & Andrew's Public Hanging | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-09-26T18:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Juicy & Andrew's Public Hanging | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Juicy & Andrew's Public Hanging | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-26. Transcript available.

this guy because they caught him for 50 years yakuza boss oh he was sentenced
to hanging whoa
they hung him how long ago was that uh last year whoa they hung the yakuza guy
last year wow
they still do hangings huh in where was that in japan dude japan is so cool
yeah why kings are
cool well i mean it's like yeah kind of it is pretty cool i mean it's like that's
a way to
punish people i guess you know would you would you like back in the days you
know the villagers used
to come out and witness it like it was like a sunday night sunday sunday
football game i know
exactly what i would do what would you go i would i would i would starve myself
before the hanging
and i and i would make sure that my pants barely fit so the moment i dropped in
the rope pit my
penis would come out my pants would fall down oh you mean if you were hung yeah
yeah yeah so i get
one last laugh yeah so then i'd be like my dick would be out at everyone that's
a pretty good one
and i'd laugh my way out i would be concerned about what my face was doing when
i died
would you focus on like what your face would look like no because you can't i
can't that's why he'll
do that's why i'm doing the dick thing no i would do this the things are on my
neck and i'll go like
to freeze like that to freeze and hopefully when it hangs it hangs like that or
you don't be really
sick yeah same thing with my loose pants starve myself loose pants one little
string nobody wants to
see your dick no dude i'm gonna tuck it in my ass i'm gonna talk to see that
that way when it
hangs my angina and then as i let go all my muscles it comes right out right
people are gonna die laughing
i'm gonna go out with a laugh dude yeah even if you see if you saw the dick out
of my butt and come
for you'd be like that's even if you and i right went to see his hanging we'd
be sad right no no we
at first we would be like oh my god we're gonna see andrew hung today right and
then you would hang
and we would look up and go right i like it it would be fun i would i like it
it would be fun
yeah yeah thank you for the laugh and you go that's my boy that's my boy right
there yeah little dick
little dick over there yeah yeah yeah we would know it's coming now so as we're
waiting everyone's
crying we bobby and i'd be like just wait for it oh you would you think that we
would know that you
yeah yeah i would tell you guys now we know oh i would sell it out you would oh
yeah like a bringer
room you promote you promote my hanging oh yeah dude how happy would you be you're
gonna get a huge
laugh and i'm inviting caa i'm bringing agents publicists oh yeah the hollywood
reporter by the
way this is a great sketch you guys coming to my hanging yeah they're like well
let's see if we can
be there the agents for sure show up late they're like he's already hung uh we
had i know right we
had a dinner we couldn't make it how was it though yeah was it good did you do
well he crushed all
right good shit i crushed his neck but what's that one called the is it the one
with the guillotine
guillotine guillotine yeah is that the one where the thing comes down then this
yes the big it would
chop it chops your head off yeah yeah that no well i've heard after the head
gets chopped off a lot
they've reported that the the person's head will say something or or it'll
still move for a second
yeah like it's still alive after it's what it'll say something i've heard it
like what i don't know
ow like what does it say what does it say that's an opportunity for a joke too
yeah you're right
i didn't do it yeah i didn't do it yeah or right as your head gets chopped off
in a guillotine and
it no i know what i would say chopped off roll ta-da
ta-da would be good ta-da what would you do i'd say the treasure is buried
oh that's such a good one and they'd be like where where yeah yeah so they're
panicking and
then try to put your head back on come on come on yeah what would i say if it
felt yeah i don't know
if i was decapitated and my head fell off and it rolled around for a second and
they came up to me
and my last words would be
i was gonna say something awful and i just held my time i know what it was go
ahead
what you were gonna say what i can't say it yeah i know i can't either yeah
yeah yeah
imagine this was appointment viewing before we had you know tgif before before
it was like
friday night sitcom night this was people getting together in town they're like
they dressed up
they're like what time are you going to be there this is this is what was gross
about it it was like
for fun they were it was this was the jam i don't think i would go i'd be that
one guy like have you
ever been i go nah i passed on every time i have such good tickets you have to
come with i can't your
box seats box dude i'm on the floor you're on the floor and we can go vip we
can go backstage really
you can touch the knife because my grandfather has like the nosebleed seats
yeah we can never see
anything you can't see from up there all right i'll try one day gotta be down
on the floor
and then i show up and it's going to be like a gallagher show like i mean like
watermelon but
blood somebody's selling one of those they sell those those smocks they're like
this is a splash
you guys will get hit with blood right i'm gonna be seating yeah you'll be
working the door yeah
juicy is working the door she's selling booths at the fucking at the guillotine
she's like
look if you want to be closer it's 100 bucks i don't know what you want to say
maybe it's like
a baseball game when they catch the head they get excited like i got it i got
it some kid
now give it to a kid give it to a kid you can't keep it yeah dude that's so
funny like that like
live nation presents the hanging oh yeah
one of these promoters these massive promotion what if you don't sell out
though
how sad how sad yeah ticket master is like look dude this event did not do well
well you're there
right and you're about to do it and you see the numbers and there's like three
guys there
your agent comes up to you right before he they kill you and he's like listen
dude
60 is still it looks good right it looks more full than it is for sure but it
it no one's gonna
it's great this is a market we're building on yeah but you're sitting there
right and i i hear somebody
going i thought this was ronnie cheng's fucking hey
right you're like i can't even yeah that's that's what we sell it as someone
else
yeah i mean they're like this is not bill burr this is not his guillotine
we're getting out of here yeah yeah oh that'd be terrible go sell selling
tickets to a
fucking a local you know what they also used to do though that's insane too
like burning
witch burning and shit they would just burn people in the town square town
square was like the spot
the spot that's where you used to get fucking murked up the witch burning shit
was wild
they would just find a chick that said like no to her husband they're like
lighter on fire
it was nuts dude it was like a woman being like i don't want to do that and
they're like
she's a witch light her on fire well they'd be like if she is a witch she'll
get out of this fire
right right but if she's not a witch we fucked up oh well one down whatever you
got to lose you
win some you lose some you know but let me just say something it's insane if
the witch was super hot
would you be like ah they wouldn't burn her you don't think they would this is
the thing our society's
been obsessed with with looks our whole forever since the beginning of time
yeah we reward good
looking people so even if they're bad we're not going to punish them right they're
too hot if brad pitt
fucking did something atrocious we'd all be like i don't know is did he really
and they're like we
have proof and then we'd be like i don't know yeah that sucks man yeah he's too
hot do you think you
would be burned oh yeah yeah i'd be burned but make no mistake yeah everyone in
this room is getting
burned i don't think you i'm getting no no dirt no no fuck you i'm getting i've
met girls since i've
been single
you