Name: The Girlfriend Who Never Existed | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-09-29T17:00:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Girlfriend Who Never Existed | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Girlfriend Who Never Existed | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-29. Transcript available.

yeah let's move on okay untold stories the woman the girl that didn't exist
untold untold
sports documentary series i love they're all great and let me tell you
something what
the the brocker way the brothers that do that yeah i couldn't be bigger fans of
they're so
trying to sit with these guys yeah because they did my favorite documentary of
all time which i
told you about i know you don't give a fuck about baseball but the better
bastards of baseball is
the best documentary about sports i think i've ever seen in my life it's about
bing russell kurt
russell's father who bought a baseball team oh wow dude okay i'll watch it oh
is it an untold story
oh it's an untold no it's it's the same guys that made that untold is just a
series this was just a
singular documentary they did before all right so this untold about mantiteo it's
called the
girlfriend that did you know about this oh my god it's so it's un-fucking-believable
so mantiteo
was an incredible uh incredible football player that played at university of
notre dame
a very from hawaii he's from hawaii mormon he was mormon and
and they're a catholic hardcore it's a christian college that's known that's
rooted in catholicism
it's it's in the midwest it's that's their whole thing so he's a fish out of
water there
well no he's a church kid but he's a mormon church he's a star he's a star on
the notre bain
notre bain bain it is yeah notre bain i don't think it's at notre it's notre bain
notre dame notre dame notre dame dame is it is a woman notre bain baseball
well it's not baseball it's basketball you play basketball it's baseball now
notre dame
football team right he's a star right yeah he's a great linebacker correct
defensive tackle right
defensive whatever he is he's in the back side defensive anyway big star right
and then his
grandma dies right and then hours later his girlfriend dies right and then he
has to play
this game murder suicide no they're not together juicy's the best juicy's the
best that would be a
great story grandma girlfriend murder yeah i don't think that's ever happened
but who did what
right be tight if the grandmother was like you fucking bitch they'll try yeah
and she's gonna say yeah
yeah man no uh good luck on your game mateo mateo mateo mateo he was basically
man titeo was
was essentially catfish before catfishing even existed this girl this girl that
killed her himself
that his girlfriend didn't exist wasn't real it was uh it was a it was a man
who uh this is the
that's the man that well first of all this is the this is when and they say it
in documentary
i just stopped when this person i know let me explain when this person can you
go to a different
photo than this one no that's the one she it is all right it's her now but then
she was a man
when she was catfishing the football player the guy on the top left this person
was a man
when this was going on and they'd only met her online or something he never met
her he never met
this guy let me explain catfish this guy this guy this girl this girl now was a
guy pretended to be
a girl online using someone else's photos okay catfish so this guy took photos
from somebody else's
account and pretended to be a girl by the name of lalani lalani lalani some
shit lalani okay i'm
following now right and and then they developed a relationship so mantai that
was the guy that's
the guy that's before she was a woman yeah yeah so fucking complicated i know
it's impossible to
talk about it without someone being like what is what are you saying and you're
like i i'm trying
yeah yeah this person is someone else now they're a different person they go by
a different
fucking name this dude who happens to be gay is he gay see another twist yeah i
don't know i don't
yeah yeah i don't i don't want to make assumptions she didn't say what she is
now yeah i don't dude
honestly so did she fake her death yes fake the death and because and then she
says what she pretends
to be her brother calls mantai and says she has leukemia and she's dying it's
crazy she dies but
here's the twist espn everyone goes mantai's girlfriend dies and a grandmother
dies huge news
right and it's like the story of this guy still winning and you know i mean and
still participating
in the sport and killing it and this and that and then the girl calls him four
months later and says
i'm alive yeah and here's the deal oh i got chills who released the article
deadspin deadspin yeah yeah
and deadspin basically exposed it as fake but here was what was wild the media
this was also you have
to remember this is what this is probably or this is the 2009 so it would have
been the 12 the 2012
season oh my bad 2012 okay yeah i was three years off sorry no no you're no no
but essentially what was
going on in the media was they were like because he was catfished and they
found out it was from this guy
that the media was like he's gay and he's just afraid to be gay and he's not
but the media was
like yeah he is this is what he's hiding he's hiding that he's gay and he was
supposed to be like the
first round draft pick and he wasn't right he and he still went pro he did go
pro he played it didn't
pan out it didn't pan out the way it should have politics how to play well here
was the problem
this is something i said i think i said to you over the phone when you said we
were like have to
watch it i was like this is one of those times when you know when people say
like language is getting
woke and shit today yeah that it's a good thing because you look back and you
go the whole media
espn was like bet he's a secret homo and they no i mean seriously and they were
all laughing about it
and because there wasn't people to go hey man you can't just throw that shit
out there at people like
that for no fucking reason yeah because what it did was it fucked with his
psyche because he was like
i'm not gay well i just got fucked over by the internet it ruined him and
everybody was like yeah
you are before we got conscious over like just making up shit about people can
what it do to them
and hurt them this guy had nothing to do with it he got catfish they say he was
naive and stupid and
blah people said all sorts of mean shit dude he's just an innocent guy they got
fucked over and fell in
love on the internet how not weird is that every loser i'm friends with now
falls in love with
people on the internet constantly what can i ask a question yeah yeah um i mean
he's developed this
relationship with a woman well he thought it was a woman i know that he's been
dating for how long a
year well here's the problem here's another big hole i'm asking i'm just asking
you let me answer all
right the hole in the story is like they would take weeks off and not speak
right and then sometimes
they would speak a bunch and then not again you got to remember there's a
college kid who plays
football but there was a lot of incidents like um she's like let's facetime he'd
be like let's
facetime and it wouldn't work and on her end it wouldn't work after the eighth
time you don't go
there's something weird no but here's why we say that you're privy to cat this
is both pre catfish
catfishing wasn't happening like it is now when it happens now and people don't
get it i'm like
what's wrong with you right but then i'm giving the benefit of the i started
following him instagram
and i see he's your inspiration i'm just saying then it didn't exist so nobody
fucking knew that
that was a thing that you could he hasn't followed me back yet but he will
because bobby's profile
picture is andrew but let me ask you this though right how long would it would
i be able to cut
let's say you were single yeah but in the current day and age i would be weary
of all this stuff
this guy had no fucking but how long would you last you think right now let's
say i lived in
baltimore and i'm the hottest chick you've ever seen and we're talking online
right how long would
you wait what's your name lililia same name how old are you gloria my name is
gloria gloria how old
are you i'm 28 nice what do you do uh i work at an insurance firm oh you're in
are you in insurance
sales no i'm in secretary right now for montgomery oh okay insurance oh yeah um
how did you find out
about me i'm a huge fan i i saw your special thanks and um i i'm a huge fan of
dave oh me too
very cool i like gata more me too yeah gata's good same yeah yeah dave's good
too but you're like my
fifth favorite would that be third who's two there's two more i don't know
their names oh yeah but when
they come on i'm like oh that's cool cool all right have a good day oh that's
it well that would
be all right you're my favorite guy in dave in fact you know what i saw me time
and i literally only
watched it because you i mean that movie was horrendous but when you come out
you just spark
it just sparks and it's like wow what a scene stealer sick yeah and also i'm
just you know
i was adopted whoop right i just sent you a picture of what i don't know you
tell me oh
is that a your friend oh your penis your penis penis penis penis penis penis
penis oh we gotta put a
butthole picture on there yeah butthole yeah actually i sent you peanut
pictures of me jerking
off so one week so there's no way that would happen like you you wouldn't
develop a relationship
with somebody from baltimore no i would want to meet you in person if i'm
single and i'm looking
to fucking meet you i would i would want to meet you i don't i just but this is
now and now is
different than then then it wasn't a thing no one knew that was i think i'm
getting catfished
then are you serious well there's i don't know if i should talk about this but
i don't want to
get in trouble no there's yeah that's yeah yeah and it was gloria no um well
there's a couple of
instances and i haven't done anything you know i'm single now where i haven't
done anything right
but there's a couple instances where a couple of girls like if you're in vegas
give me a call and i
have their number is that catfishing no because if you're in vegas give them a
call just be careful
if you want to go meet them because why what would happen i don't know they
could rob you or something
yeah i think if it happened a friend of mine vegas though yeah you don't want
to just go meet
strangers from no i would definitely do like a crowded place and bring a bodyguard
or something
yeah i would do a crowded place like let's meet at the bellagio that's a good
movie though bobby
goes to meet some ladies in vegas and gets kidnapped and we got to go save him
i know but would we save
him that's yeah i would you know that's it but i would need you because we're
playing ourselves right
so you know but i would have so much to do and cancel just to get out there and
you know what that
is yeah plot baby that's right yeah i've got stuff going i'm in the middle of
shooting the third
season of dave you get canceled out there i can't captured you get wait a
second wait a second
wait that would mean if i'm if i disappeared and you're shooting dave you
wouldn't take a week off
and go my schedule's nuts on you wouldn't take a week off i don't think i could
oh my god i would
pay someone to go find you i guess i'm alone then with whoever who would you
pay imagine you have
doorstop you have the store you got to work at the store you can't give up
those i think i could give
give up some shifts to save you know i honestly believe that carlos would yeah
i honestly believe
you wouldn't you wouldn't give a you're being annoying and you know i would if
i would go way
out of my way you would you would cancel would you lose your job at dave no
you wouldn't be honest lose my job if it had meant like let's let's suppose i'm
captured by some
guys in vegas yeah the yakuza the bamboo boys the bamboo boys got right yeah
and they're like you know
uh andrew quit dave or bobby's dead
oh that's we're gonna do it that's we're gonna see it in the holly reporter
that you quit because
and you're trying to save you guys want me to quit the show just to kill him
i don't that's we get off on it oh boy guys
come on man i think guns loaded and i'm like andrew andrew i think they're
serious man i don't want
to die i think they are too bob i no no no hold on hold on hold on hold on hold
on okay okay let me
talk to the leader let me talk to the leader hey dude what going on what what's
up how are you pretty
good pretty good why you answer no no i'm bamboo boy bamboo boy listen yeah you
don't want to kill
my friend i have somebody else you can kill who his name is fancy b oh i hate
him i know you do if
i bring him to you will you let my friend bobby go yeah well you gotta bring
him now i'll be there
right now all right i'm getting a private jet fancy yeah here he is the switch
and then they kill him
they kill me and they kill you and i get away with the money damn it this movie
sucks okay um juicy you
go ahead and sign us off thank you for being a bad friend yeah baby

The Girlfriend Who Never Existed | Bad Friends Clips

yeah let's move on okay untold stories the woman the girl that didn't exist
untold untold
sports documentary series i love they're all great and let me tell you
something what
the the brocker way the brothers that do that yeah i couldn't be bigger fans of
they're so
trying to sit with these guys yeah because they did my favorite documentary of
all time which i
told you about i know you don't give a fuck about baseball but the better
bastards of baseball is
the best documentary about sports i think i've ever seen in my life it's about
bing russell kurt
russell's father who bought a baseball team oh wow dude okay i'll watch it oh
is it an untold story
oh it's an untold no it's it's the same guys that made that untold is just a
series this was just a
singular documentary they did before all right so this untold about mantiteo it's
called the
girlfriend that did you know about this oh my god it's so it's un-fucking-believable
so mantiteo
was an incredible uh incredible football player that played at university of
notre dame
a very from hawaii he's from hawaii mormon he was mormon and
and they're a catholic hardcore it's a christian college that's known that's
rooted in catholicism
it's it's in the midwest it's that's their whole thing so he's a fish out of
water there
well no he's a church kid but he's a mormon church he's a star he's a star on
the notre bain
notre bain bain it is yeah notre bain i don't think it's at notre it's notre bain
notre dame notre dame notre dame dame is it is a woman notre bain baseball
well it's not baseball it's basketball you play basketball it's baseball now
notre dame
football team right he's a star right yeah he's a great linebacker correct
defensive tackle right
defensive whatever he is he's in the back side defensive anyway big star right
and then his
grandma dies right and then hours later his girlfriend dies right and then he
has to play
this game murder suicide no they're not together juicy's the best juicy's the
best that would be a
great story grandma girlfriend murder yeah i don't think that's ever happened
but who did what
right be tight if the grandmother was like you fucking bitch they'll try yeah
and she's gonna say yeah
yeah man no uh good luck on your game mateo mateo mateo mateo he was basically
man titeo was
was essentially catfish before catfishing even existed this girl this girl that
killed her himself
that his girlfriend didn't exist wasn't real it was uh it was a it was a man
who uh this is the
that's the man that well first of all this is the this is when and they say it
in documentary
i just stopped when this person i know let me explain when this person can you
go to a different
photo than this one no that's the one she it is all right it's her now but then
she was a man
when she was catfishing the football player the guy on the top left this person
was a man
when this was going on and they'd only met her online or something he never met
her he never met
this guy let me explain catfish this guy this guy this girl this girl now was a
guy pretended to be
a girl online using someone else's photos okay catfish so this guy took photos
from somebody else's
account and pretended to be a girl by the name of lalani lalani lalani some
shit lalani okay i'm
following now right and and then they developed a relationship so mantai that
was the guy that's
the guy that's before she was a woman yeah yeah so fucking complicated i know
it's impossible to
talk about it without someone being like what is what are you saying and you're
like i i'm trying
yeah yeah this person is someone else now they're a different person they go by
a different
fucking name this dude who happens to be gay is he gay see another twist yeah i
don't know i don't
yeah yeah i don't i don't want to make assumptions she didn't say what she is
now yeah i don't dude
honestly so did she fake her death yes fake the death and because and then she
says what she pretends
to be her brother calls mantai and says she has leukemia and she's dying it's
crazy she dies but
here's the twist espn everyone goes mantai's girlfriend dies and a grandmother
dies huge news
right and it's like the story of this guy still winning and you know i mean and
still participating
in the sport and killing it and this and that and then the girl calls him four
months later and says
i'm alive yeah and here's the deal oh i got chills who released the article
deadspin deadspin yeah yeah
and deadspin basically exposed it as fake but here was what was wild the media
this was also you have
to remember this is what this is probably or this is the 2009 so it would have
been the 12 the 2012
season oh my bad 2012 okay yeah i was three years off sorry no no you're no no
but essentially what was
going on in the media was they were like because he was catfished and they
found out it was from this guy
that the media was like he's gay and he's just afraid to be gay and he's not
but the media was
like yeah he is this is what he's hiding he's hiding that he's gay and he was
supposed to be like the
first round draft pick and he wasn't right he and he still went pro he did go
pro he played it didn't
pan out it didn't pan out the way it should have politics how to play well here
was the problem
this is something i said i think i said to you over the phone when you said we
were like have to
watch it i was like this is one of those times when you know when people say
like language is getting
woke and shit today yeah that it's a good thing because you look back and you
go the whole media
espn was like bet he's a secret homo and they no i mean seriously and they were
all laughing about it
and because there wasn't people to go hey man you can't just throw that shit
out there at people like
that for no fucking reason yeah because what it did was it fucked with his
psyche because he was like
i'm not gay well i just got fucked over by the internet it ruined him and
everybody was like yeah
you are before we got conscious over like just making up shit about people can
what it do to them
and hurt them this guy had nothing to do with it he got catfish they say he was
naive and stupid and
blah people said all sorts of mean shit dude he's just an innocent guy they got
fucked over and fell in
love on the internet how not weird is that every loser i'm friends with now
falls in love with
people on the internet constantly what can i ask a question yeah yeah um i mean
he's developed this
relationship with a woman well he thought it was a woman i know that he's been
dating for how long a
year well here's the problem here's another big hole i'm asking i'm just asking
you let me answer all
right the hole in the story is like they would take weeks off and not speak
right and then sometimes
they would speak a bunch and then not again you got to remember there's a
college kid who plays
football but there was a lot of incidents like um she's like let's facetime he'd
be like let's
facetime and it wouldn't work and on her end it wouldn't work after the eighth
time you don't go
there's something weird no but here's why we say that you're privy to cat this
is both pre catfish
catfishing wasn't happening like it is now when it happens now and people don't
get it i'm like
what's wrong with you right but then i'm giving the benefit of the i started
following him instagram
and i see he's your inspiration i'm just saying then it didn't exist so nobody
fucking knew that
that was a thing that you could he hasn't followed me back yet but he will
because bobby's profile
picture is andrew but let me ask you this though right how long would it would
i be able to cut
let's say you were single yeah but in the current day and age i would be weary
of all this stuff
this guy had no fucking but how long would you last you think right now let's
say i lived in
baltimore and i'm the hottest chick you've ever seen and we're talking online
right how long would
you wait what's your name lililia same name how old are you gloria my name is
gloria gloria how old
are you i'm 28 nice what do you do uh i work at an insurance firm oh you're in
are you in insurance
sales no i'm in secretary right now for montgomery oh okay insurance oh yeah um
how did you find out
about me i'm a huge fan i i saw your special thanks and um i i'm a huge fan of
dave oh me too
very cool i like gata more me too yeah gata's good same yeah yeah dave's good
too but you're like my
fifth favorite would that be third who's two there's two more i don't know
their names oh yeah but when
they come on i'm like oh that's cool cool all right have a good day oh that's
it well that would
be all right you're my favorite guy in dave in fact you know what i saw me time
and i literally only
watched it because you i mean that movie was horrendous but when you come out
you just spark
it just sparks and it's like wow what a scene stealer sick yeah and also i'm
just you know
i was adopted whoop right i just sent you a picture of what i don't know you
tell me oh
is that a your friend oh your penis your penis penis penis penis penis penis
penis oh we gotta put a
butthole picture on there yeah butthole yeah actually i sent you peanut
pictures of me jerking
off so one week so there's no way that would happen like you you wouldn't
develop a relationship
with somebody from baltimore no i would want to meet you in person if i'm
single and i'm looking
to fucking meet you i would i would want to meet you i don't i just but this is
now and now is
different than then then it wasn't a thing no one knew that was i think i'm
getting catfished
then are you serious well there's i don't know if i should talk about this but
i don't want to
get in trouble no there's yeah that's yeah yeah and it was gloria no um well
there's a couple of
instances and i haven't done anything you know i'm single now where i haven't
done anything right
but there's a couple instances where a couple of girls like if you're in vegas
give me a call and i
have their number is that catfishing no because if you're in vegas give them a
call just be careful
if you want to go meet them because why what would happen i don't know they
could rob you or something
yeah i think if it happened a friend of mine vegas though yeah you don't want
to just go meet
strangers from no i would definitely do like a crowded place and bring a bodyguard
or something
yeah i would do a crowded place like let's meet at the bellagio that's a good
movie though bobby
goes to meet some ladies in vegas and gets kidnapped and we got to go save him
i know but would we save
him that's yeah i would you know that's it but i would need you because we're
playing ourselves right
so you know but i would have so much to do and cancel just to get out there and
you know what that
is yeah plot baby that's right yeah i've got stuff going i'm in the middle of
shooting the third
season of dave you get canceled out there i can't captured you get wait a
second wait a second
wait that would mean if i'm if i disappeared and you're shooting dave you
wouldn't take a week off
and go my schedule's nuts on you wouldn't take a week off i don't think i could
oh my god i would
pay someone to go find you i guess i'm alone then with whoever who would you
pay imagine you have
doorstop you have the store you got to work at the store you can't give up
those i think i could give
give up some shifts to save you know i honestly believe that carlos would yeah
i honestly believe
you wouldn't you wouldn't give a you're being annoying and you know i would if
i would go way
out of my way you would you would cancel would you lose your job at dave no
you wouldn't be honest lose my job if it had meant like let's let's suppose i'm
captured by some
guys in vegas yeah the yakuza the bamboo boys the bamboo boys got right yeah
and they're like you know
uh andrew quit dave or bobby's dead
oh that's we're gonna do it that's we're gonna see it in the holly reporter
that you quit because
and you're trying to save you guys want me to quit the show jus