Name: Ali Macofsky Enters The Chat! | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-10-04T17:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ali Macofsky Enters The Chat! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ali Macofsky Enters The Chat! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-04. Transcript available.

- Ally Makovsky is here, a Los Angeles-based comedian.
- Did you do your hair appointment?
- Who was in New York doing shows.
She canceled a hair appointment to come here
because she said it's raining anyway.
- Did you do your hair appointment?
- No. - No.
- Why?
- Bring the mic up.
- Well, first of all, you guys, I felt like an idiot.
You called me to do the podcast and I'm like,
I have a hair appointment.
And then I was like, what the fuck am I doing?
- Ally Makovsky's here.
She's a little sister to me.
She's been on the road with me.
Now my little birdie flies as free as she could ever fly.
So she doesn't need to come with me anymore.
She's a headliner and she's going to be doing the show
with us in Gramercy, which when this episode comes out,
it'll be over.
- And I probably did so well.
- You know, but you know, you almost made me mad.
Ally. - Didn't she do well?
- 'Cause when you first asked her, she goes,
I can't, I have a hair appointment.
- Yeah.
- Right. And then at that point I was just like, wow.
- Wow.
- We can't beat a hair appointment.
- Yeah.
- And then you called back and you said, I'm coming.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- 'Cause it was one of those things.
- I hate having to cancel on appointments and things like that.
- Oh, is that what it is?
- I feel like it's so disrespectful.
- Yeah.
- But I also made the appointment last minute.
So I'm like, they weren't even,
they haven't even thought about me for more than 30 seconds.
- But how long did it take you to call us back?
- Literally as soon as I hung up, I was like, what am I doing?
- She texted me right away. - Oh yeah.
- But you know what's so interesting?
You tell me, 'cause I don't know.
With guys' hair, it doesn't, it's different.
- Yeah.
- But a girl's hair is a whole fucking thing.
It's super expensive.
It's a long process.
When you cancel, are they really upset?
- If it's like been in the books and there's a whole process.
- Yeah.
- But I'm just getting a blowout.
I just want someone to wash my hair.
There's nothing better than someone else scrubbing your scalp.
- Washing your hair.
- Yeah.
- Why can't you wash yourself?
- I can.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- But then they use the tools. - Women are lazy, dude.
- Is that what it is?
- Lazy. - They're so lazy.
- I grew up with a single father, okay, Bobby?
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah, it was just my dad.
- Well, she also had a single mom, too.
- And a single mom, but I wasn't with her as much.
- Why, why, why, why, why, why?
- She's an alcoholic.
- Oh, no.
- Not anymore.
- No, she's still in the game.
- Wait, she's still drinking?
- She hasn't hung up the jersey yet.
She goes long periods of time without it.
So it's just, you never know.
- How come I never hung out with your mom?
- She rocks, you love her.
- I love drinking.
- Yeah, next time she's on a bender, I'll hit you up.
- I would love to party with your mom.
- No, she's like very much like...
- She does cocaine.
- Nobody drinks that much and doesn't do cocaine.
How do you think they keep drinking?
- I think she likes to sleep.
- Oh, she sleeps.
- She's big on the sleeping, so she's anti...
- Anti-coke.
- Anti-coke.
She's like a very naturally high-strung person.
She's got a lot of energy.
She lives clean in the house.
- Where does she live?
- In the Bay Area, in the South Bay.
- By Long Beach.
- So what, that's Long Beach?
- Well, she's from down there.
- Oh, you are?
- Yeah.
- No, but I never learned how to do my own hair.
I don't want to.
I like when someone else does it.
- Oh, okay.
- Well, because you grew up with mostly your dad.
Dad didn't do your hair, did he?
- And I had two older sisters,
but they didn't want to show me how to do it.
They also were struggling to figure out how to do it.
- Yeah, I've seen their hair.
I get that.
Neither of them know what they're...
- When did you first get sober?
- I got sober when I was like, I think 20.
- Did I know you then or now?
- I don't think so.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I don't think so.
I think we only knew each...
Whoa!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
- Well, actually, you know what I think about it?
- How old were you when we met?
- I mean, I feel like I...
I don't know, because I feel like I saw you guys at the store a lot,
because I was just lingering there.
- You were there a lot, yeah.
- As a young open-miker.
I was, like, getting fucked up at the comedy store under age.
- Bad girl.
- It was bad.
I could have gotten them in trouble.
- Right.
- They got in a load of trouble.
At one point, do you remember this?
- Oh, my God.
- They got in so much fucking trouble, because they sent in...
The LAPD had found out that people were getting fucked up there,
and a mom of a kid called the police on the comedy store and said,
"My kid got fucked up there, they got in trouble, blah, blah, blah."
They sent an undercover.
This is back in...
- Is this true?
- Yes.
This is Tommy Days, though.
- Oh, okay.
- It's a completely different business.
I've been there since the '90s.
It's just night and day.
- It used to be...
People used to run into chaos.
- It was nuts.
- I got beat the fuck out of there.
- Yeah, I like that.
- By the Jew.
- Say it again.
- Ari Shafir.
- The number one Jew.
- The number one Jew.
- He did beat the shit out of me.
- He smacked you around, yeah.
- But you guys were friends, right?
- No, not then.
- Oh.
- I hated him.
Yeah, he beat the shit out of me, and they wouldn't call the cops.
They're like, "Oh, let it go.
I'm bleeding."
- What started it?
You had to have done something.
- He called him a Jew.
- No, no, no. - What were you wearing?
- No.
You don't know what happened?
- No.
- Were you wearing your swastika shirt?
- Yeah.
- He had a big swastika shirt he used to wear.
- Well, my mustache was different.
It was like one of those little ones.
Yeah, it was like a square right there.
- What do you think is the time frame
of that mustache coming back in style?
- It's about to happen.
- There's gotta be a certain time where it's--
- There is a group of guys in Brooklyn right now
that have that, without a doubt.
And Williamsburg is right there, but the irony is that.
- They're called the Proud Boys.
- PBs.
- Yeah, yeah, no.
So really, you've seen people with that fucking mustache?
- Without a doubt it exists.
- No, I've never seen one person.
- Have you ever seen a Hitler mustache out and about?
Yeah, see, it's out and about.
- You've seen a Hitler mustache?
- Yeah, it's there.
Cool guys, cool hip dudes, you know?
- Yeah.
- Cool guys that fucking--
- They teeter on the edge.
- Yeah, they love it.
And then if somebody says something, they're like,
"Really?"
- Like, "No, I was at the march."
- You think this is a Hitler mustache?
You're a fucking piece of shit.
Like, they throw it back in your face,
like you're a super--
and they're like, "Get out of here, dude."
- But I can't see how that was fashionable even back then.
- It looks cool as fuck.
- It doesn't.
- It looks awesome.
- That's supposed to be here, not here.
- No, it looks strong.
- Oh, maybe.
- It just looks like strength coming out of your nose.
- It does.
- You guys are down here.
You guys started down here.
- Yeah, we did the Fu Manchu.
We did the opposite.
- Love Fu Manchu.
- We went down, yeah, should I do that?
- You should do it.
- I would love--
- Fu Manchu?
- He can do it better because his hair,
see his beard hair, how it's like stringier?
- Yeah.
- Like my bush, it's too thick.
- It would come out like this.
- Yeah, it's forward.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- But yours is beautiful.
- No, because this does grow down.
I'm gonna do Fu Manchu.
- Please.
- You will?
- I'll try to do it with you.
- All right, let's do a Fu Manchu contest.
- Would you ever shave?
- Huh?
- Would you ever shave this beautiful thing?
- I shaved, no, 'cause I don't like my face.
I shaved my beard like four times
in the history of me being in Hollywood, like for a job.
I did it for Arrested Development.
- And then did they have a moment where they're like,
we're gonna shave your face and you're like,
it doesn't look good and they're like, we have to.
And then they realized they fucked up.
- And they're like, put it back.
- Yeah.
- And they have to just glue it right back on my face.
- Yeah.
- No, every time though, it just doesn't,
I look as old as I'm going to look.
So like, even without it,
it's not like it ages me down when I shave.
I just look like me without facial hair.
- Yeah.
- Which I'm still a cutie pie, it's just not the same.
But I love my, I've had this since I was 16.
I grew facial hair when I was 15 years old and I loved it.
- And I never not got rid of it.
- I just started getting facial hairs.
- Really?
- Do you have a mustache?
- I have a mustache for sure.
- You waxed it?
- I waxed it, yeah.
- Do you have a really bush?
I feel like you have a real bush,
like an Amazonian bush.
- Yeah, 'cause I have like Russian, Russian DNA.
So I'm like Eastern European, yeah.
- You're Russian Jewish?
- Yeah, you know Russian Jews have the thickest bush.
- Oh yeah.
So it's a nightmare.
- Do you have hair on your nipples?
- Not yet, I have one.
- And you keep it?
- I keep it.
- Why?
- 'Cause I like it.
- It's for good luck.
- It's only one.
- But is it long?
It's probably long.
- No, no, no.
- Oh, it's not?
- It's not bad.
- When she gets married, it says will you take this woman
to be your, and now pick the nipple.
And then, bing, you can pick the nipple hair.
That signifies love.
That's how it, what was that?
Knock, oh.
- Wait, what is going on here?
People coming in and out of this room?
Who is that lady?
- Who was it?
- She thinks that this studio is her studio, it's the next one.