Name: "You Only Date Whites!" Ali Faces The Hard Truth | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-10-08T17:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"You Only Date Whites!" Ali Faces The Hard Truth | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"You Only Date Whites!" Ali Faces The Hard Truth | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-08. Transcript available.

have you ever had an asian guy you ever slept with an asian guy no why but not
because i wouldn't
but not because i wouldn't wait let me ask you this we all know why no i want
to ask a question
right let me ask you something ali yeah okay how many guys have you been with
so many none of your
business okay let's just make up a number okay 46. let's say 20. okay all right
46. out of the 20
guys you've had sex with how many have them been minorities i would say half no
let's be real no i
would say like a a fourth so 25 have been minority yeah maybe 25 and in that 25
percent of minorities
jewish count as my no it doesn't they're white so 25 of minorities i'd say 15
all right so the 15
right how many of them have been uh the percentage of that black people um i
would say just jamar
neighbors oh my god could you brian moses brian moses i've heard his penis is
so massive yeah it's
actually you can just tell this is actually it this is legit yeah yeah yeah
that's so scary so no black
guys no yeah yeah i would say that's like i'm not good at math out of the 50
out of all the minorities
you've had 50 of the okay of the 15 yeah yeah yeah okay so 50 and then out of
the 15 how many of the
mexican i would say the other 50 maybe yeah so you're racist just towards asians
against asians yeah but
no but i would i would why we're around there's a billion of us i know but you
what you guys aren't
it's just like okay you know i'm in a room i'm in a room and there's a black
guy an asian guy and a
latino guy there's a funny joke coming away walking to a bar black guy asian
guy and mexican guy walk
into a bar well the mexican guy is cleaning up the black guy's robbing the
place and the asian guy is
doing the taxes and who do you want to you want to you want to someone that's
working no no no but
honestly but honestly right you want adventure and fun latinos and black people
adventurous fun
asian guys risk aversion risk averse uh too safe she wants someone am i safe
raw dog am i safe
you're unique am i safe you're you i'm asking you a question am i safe yes you
are really you are very
safe all right am i adventurous can be or you just stay in your hotel all day
okay so it's that's what
i mean it's fair enough but she knows she's getting a gamble when she goes with
anybody else yeah she
knows what she gets when she has white when she has white it's golden corral it's
a buffet well it's
predominantly it's it's all fine you might get a little noodle that was you
feel comfortable with white
well it's predominantly because when i started whoring it up it was in my like
last year of high
school and then when i was kind of going to college yeah my high school was
mostly white people okay my
college was a lot of white people uh-huh and so just the circles i was in at
that time it's a white
circle and then when i started doing comedy i was banging like these loser open
micers they're all
white also mostly also white what are you gonna do hey dude i've i've had asians
so count me out i
love them and that's why i'm not asking you questions yeah love asians yeah
yeah love but you're a guy too
love well you know what's so funny no not as a now like in this mindset in my
age that i'm at uh
they're not the most attractive to me the most attractive has always been
fucking latinos i just latin just something about latinos latin axis there's
something about it well
because they're just so hot and they just are cooler than you and they're mean
and
yeah i like all that stuff and they can fuck you up i like that they can beat
you up a white girl
can't beat you that's the one who will fight for you yeah they'll fight for me
and they'll fight me
larry h parker of women yeah hello i want hilaria balwin there's just something
about it huh yeah
there's just something about them they're just they're just they're sexy they're
spicy they're
fucking i don't know i admit yeah i think that's what it is they can fight for
you and they will fight
you physically yeah you know and that's just that's something spice that's
spicy about them i like
koreans too though yeah i think the next if i ever date again like in a
permanent thing yeah it's gonna
be a full-floated i bet you a thousand dollars that that won't happen that's
not true you're not
going to date a korean do you want her to like not really speak english that
well
like do you want like a straight from from korea yeah because i don't speak korean
she doesn't speak
english that's perfect okay you don't speak korean no i can understand a couple
of when your
mom and you were speaking korean yeah i can say stuff like um uh boji yeah
jingle right
thank you yeah yeah you know what i said your is so beautiful your
pussy is scary yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's fine and it's probably not it's
not scary it's not like
halloween horn it's like a it's like a scare person i love you i'm sorry i don't
look at you that way
but i love you when you take your pants off it goes this is halloween this is
halloween halloween
halloween yeah no that's not true but i i know i know like basic korean to
understand i can't
really say it that i can say basic things like where's the bathroom yeah yeah
but in terms of anything
feelings wise that's what's why i want to date a korean from korea but i can't
i don't have to express
myself but you guys don't express your feelings there's no words for that oh
the new the new
generation does i know with the old one where you come from doesn't where i
come from san diego
no no your your parents and your parents never said like oh i'm feeling sad no
what's the word for sad
you don't even know i don't even know yeah that's crazy you have no idea i have
no idea what is like
um well how about what's the word for excited or happy uh i don't even know
yeah is that you went your
whole childhood without your parents saying those words yeah because i was
talking to a korean girl yesterday
and she was saying that she lives in korea and she was saying that gay is a
thing now
what do you mean oh being gay over there ever since dude you couldn't if you
were gay in korea back in
the day forget it you're going to japan i mean they're going to ship you out do
you think that started
with oppa gungnam style why is he gay no okay but i feel like that music if you're
at a club like i would
kiss i would kiss well well well well well asian asian pop music and stuff and
asian pop culture
always has a little bit of metrosexuality has always had a little bit of like
sensi boy stuff where
it's like soft sweet cutesy pootsy but right being gay no no no no no could you
do a tour in korea like
are you popular well yeah three people would go that's such fucking can i ask
you a question you would sell
out everywhere and can i ask you a question yeah is it impossible to identify
specific members of bts
i think they're i don't i think they're clones oh you oh they're made in a lab
yeah i think they're
the same here person oh that's interesting yeah there's just no way can you i
look at all of them
i go they're the same guy you think the korean government made them and what
color is that skin
beautiful it's so white white are they dead they're soft what the is that they're
superior
is that what it is yes superior white they're superior korean are they future
geishas like what why is that
what are they they're geishas to be yeah i think they're beautiful they're so
beautiful see that's
bullshit they're not beautiful yes they are they're like they're beautiful in a
way that like um like
channing tatum is beautiful like it's just unattainable like it's not real it's
different
it looks like ai made it i know i i did a movie with this korean pop star named
henry lao henry lao
i told you to tell you about them yeah yeah yeah and we'd shoot scenes together
and i would just stare
at his skin but violent thoughts like i want to hurt him i want to take a razor
blade and just cut his skin