Name: Rudy Has Monkeypox?? | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-10-28T17:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy Has Monkeypox?? | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy Has Monkeypox?? | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-28. Transcript available.

But I thought I had monkey pox.
She really did think she had it.
From your boyfriend?
Yeah.
I was getting so much bumps, red bumps all over my body.
And I told Atikolayla's sister, and she said, go to urgent care now.
Yeah.
Well, if I had, the bumps didn't look like pustular.
Is that the word pustular?
Pustular?
Pustular.
Ooh.
It didn't look like pussy.
I would have probably just said, like, hey, look at the dogs.
They're all itching.
Probably fleas.
Right.
You probably just had fleas.
Pustular is a word, by the way.
Is it?
This type of psoriasis caused reddish, scaly, pus-filled bumps.
So you have psoriasis.
They were not pustular.
Oh.
Give me non-pustular red bumps.
Let's see what you could have had, because Google's going to be better than
whatever doctors
have to say.
What the fuck do they know?
Uh-oh.
25 causes.
So we could be any acne, was it?
No.
Cold sores?
Was it herpes?
Herpes.
Uh-oh.
It is a new boyfriend.
It wasn't on my lips.
Corns and calluses.
No.
Skin tags.
No.
Which is, that's Andreas's nickname.
A nodule.
No.
By the way, go back up.
How do you even explain a fucking nodule?
If someone's like, what is it?
You're like, it looks, it's like I burned myself with a lighter.
And you're like, well, how did you get it?
It's like, I have absolutely no fucking idea.
If that appears on your skin, don't you think you're dying?
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm thinking I'm dying.
If I have a little, it looks like there's a mole underneath my skin, I think I'm
dying.
It just looks like a blister.
Yeah, but it looks like a burn blister.
But if it appeared without any sort of burning, wouldn't you panic?
If that's lumped, here's the deal.
The proximity of a weird skin thing to your genitalia means everything.
If it's on your arm, don't care.
Have you never had an ingrown, like a giant ingrown close to your dick?
No.
Oh, God.
So girls get it all the time because we have to wax.
Wax and shave.
And it's just the worst.
So do you have a panic moment?
As soon as you look down and you see that, you think, okay, well, now I've got,
now I've
got the herps.
Yes, all the time, I think that.
I've never had an ingrown hair near my, the only thing, I talked about this
today with
my buddy, Corey.
I had one STD in college.
I had molluscum.
Do you know what that is?
Look it up.
It's like a skin rash, but I had full on panic attack.
Do an image of it.
But is it sexually transmitted?
It's a skin, molluscum skin rash.
It's like that.
It's exactly right.
This is what you had on your arm.
You little, you little dirty bitch.
This was on my pelvis.
So like I said, the proximity of this to your penis, look at what that looks
like.
What do you think that is?
It looks a little like syphilitic.
Oh no, that actually looks kind of more like herpes.
Herpes.
That's exactly right.
So it was on just my pelvis.
Wasn't on my, wasn't on my pepito.
It wasn't on my pepito.
It was just on the, it was on the runway.
And I got to tell you, fucking, I spiraled for like three days and I was bawling.
I was crying.
And I was like, I, and the girl that I had had sex with, I had used a condom,
used protection.
And I thought, how could this happen?
I used a condom and it was on my pelvis.
And I thought, what if it starts to move its way down to my wiener?
Is it an actual sexually transmitted disease or it's just a skin, the skin
thing?
So my doctor said, after I finally got the, I was scared to go in because I was
scared to hear the truth.
So I finally went in and he was like, what?
That's, he gave me like a cream and a pill and it was gone in like, I'm not
kidding, like the same day.
And he was like, it's a, it's a skin rash.
It's kind of like, you know, like jock itch and all that stuff.
And like athlete's foot and all these things.
He's like, it's a skin fungus, but it's typically transmitted sexually because
it gets around this area a lot.
You know what's so fucked up?
This is so mean to say, but she looked like someone that would give me Malescom.
If you never even knew what it was, if someone goes, that girl gave Santina Malescom,
you'd go, oh yeah.
Can I guess what she looked like?
Please go for it.
Did she look like a smashly dark hair?
I think her name was Ashley.
Was it really?
I swear to God, I think her name was fucking Ashley.
I swear to God in my life.
She has the dimples on her lower back.
You better believe it.
Does she have a tattoo in between them?
Yeah.
You better believe it.
That's the thing that her generation will never have to experience is like
tramp stamps and all that.
They're coming back though.
Are they?
Oh yeah, 100%.
Girls are getting tramp stamps.
Again.
Wow.
Cause what, cause you got the, the thing you've stolen from our generation, you
guys are wearing
really, really baggy jeans.
That's our, that was, that was our childhood, really baggy jeans.
And also you're stealing brands from our generation, which is fucking insane to
me.
Like Stussy's the biggest it's ever been.
It's huge.
Stussy's huge dude.
And do you know what this is?
No.
Yeah.
It's back now.
Young people like it.
You never seen this?
When I was a kid, it was dope.
It's now it's cool.
It's like cool again.
It's just so funny.
You guys are stealing all of our shit.
Well, I hope you steal all of our dumb shit too.
Like lower back tattoos.
I hope you guys get a little bit of that sauce.
It's, it's trending.
You better not get a fucking lower back tattoo.
Don't do it, Jules.
And also though, they steal some elements of it, like the low rise jeans are
back, but they
don't know how low we went.
Our zippers were this short.
Tiny little zips.
In the late nineties.
Should I, can I say that on the show?
A little Asian.
Tiny little zips.
We're both Asian.
We accept.
Tiny little zippers.
But we did.
You had low rise.
Your, and they were, the cool thing was back, back in the day to have your
pants so low that
women would sometimes wear like men boxers or like a boxer brief underwear.
And then they would rise above them and you could see both of them.
That shit was hot.
On TikTok, they have the song thing.
That's a whale tail.
That's my generation.
That's a whale tail.
That's her.
That's thievery.
Yeah.
You guys are stealing.
You know what the fucked up thing is about fashion?
You'll see some shit.
And immediately I'm like, yeah, this is just someone took a, took a shot.
You just have to take a shot and look weird.