Name: Bobby Lee Bought This STONED | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-11-11T18:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Bought This STONED | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Bought This STONED | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-11. Transcript available.

When you see Howleys, do you see them get treated differently on the island?
You're there enough.
Do you see that the local whites are...
Yeah, because they do speak in pidgin.
Hey, buddy.
Because they know how to speak the language.
They do the pidgin.
And, dude, it's interesting.
So we had this kid on Tiger Valley, and he's like a local guy, right?
And I literally, it was mind-boggling.
I literally went, so you have Freddie Mercury's mouth.
He goes, what do you mean, brother?
Brother.
And I go, well, it's just your teeth protrude.
He goes, who's Freddie Mercury, brother?
And I started singing him songs.
He literally did not know.
How old was this man?
26 years old.
Well, that might be a little bit too young.
He might not know.
But then I go, have you heard of the Beatles?
He goes, no, brother.
No, come on.
This is what...
I am not fucking kidding you.
What does this man do for a life?
He's a social media star.
What?
Yeah, and check this out.
I played, literally, Hey Jude for him.
He had never heard it, and he teared up.
That's beautiful, brother.
He's never heard of Hey Jude.
I go, it boggled my mind.
And because Jules had never heard of the Beatles.
Well, that's okay.
She's...
Yeah, but my point is that there are people out there that just don't know shit.
Yeah, but that's crazy.
It's crazy to think that you're an American.
He's an American, right?
And he doesn't know who the fucking Beatles is.
Isn't that mind-boggling?
Blissful ignorance, though.
Would it be nice to find the Beatles now?
How crazy would that be to find them now?
Oh, my God.
I know.
Especially if you're into music.
Like, you literally, for a year, you're just, you know what I mean?
Happy road.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, blowing your mind.
It's kind of like this first time you got stoned, right?
And then you try to replicate getting high the rest of your life, and it never
works out
the same?
That's all I do.
I know you do.
Yeah.
You chase it.
I got high 20 years ago, and I've been chasing it ever since.
Don't you want to get sober, man?
I've been sober with you.
No, but now?
No.
How are you out there, man?
But things aren't bad enough for me.
They're not bad, so I don't...
But emotionally, are they bad?
No, I think I'm okay.
What are you using?
Just weed every day, and sometimes I take Xanax if I'm stressed out.
Yeah.
I'll take mushrooms sometimes.
Yeah.
I drink socially.
Usually don't have more than three.
You're not out of control.
No.
We've done...
We got high a couple times together, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Never again.
Well, we don't know.
Never again.
One day at a time.
I know, but today, no.
Yeah, kick the habit.
Today, the day, no.
Today, the day, no.
Today, the day, no.
Yeah.
But honestly, do you want to put stuff away?
No.
Oh, then fucking...
Yeah, I feel fine about it.
He's fine.
Do you know why I'm sober?
Because today was a good example.
I wake up, and there's six guys in my backyard.
Okay.
And they're building things.
Right?
There's poles, fences.
There's all these contraptions.
And they're...
You know, there's people sawing shit.
I go, what the fuck?
He's like, you wanted this.
I go, what is it?
They go, we're building a cat sanctuary.
What?
And I go, I literally, I go, what?
Yeah, it's gonna...
You know, they told me how much...
It's so expensive.
You ordered a cat sanctuary?
When I was high.
Yep.
When I was high, I was just like, I want a cat sanctuary.
Oh, my God.
You know what I mean?
I should have been billing you for shit this whole time.
Yeah, yeah.
And they were like, really?
We don't...
Yeah.
Because you could turn this into this, right?
So they're just building this thing.
So you have that now at your house?
They're still building it now.
Tell me how much it costs.
Be honest.
25 grand.
Oh, my fucking God.
For a cat sanctuary.
Can I move in there?
And it's like...
And then there's a gigantic tree.
I go, don't chop the tree.
No, but he's like, no, you told us to work around the tree.
So they're building this thing.
It's crazy.
Is that insane?
Do you have cats?
No!
There's dogs.
I don't have any cats.
It's a thing.
Yeah, but it's a sanctuary.
It's a sanctuary.
If they ever want one...
No, I do have three cats.
If they want to seek asylum...
If you added you.
If they're just passing in the neighborhood, they want to seek asylum, they can.
And the reason why I did that was because there's a...
We have a litter box in the living room.
And it stinks, right?
Because I had built...
What?
That's the reason?
No, but I had built...
I spent a bunch of money building a little...
At the front end of my house, a little doorway into a white shack where I put...
It's outside.
And one of my cats don't like going out there for some reason, right?
So she decides to pee anywhere in the living room unless there's a litter box
there.
So she's peeing on this fucking $20,000 Italian couch I got a couple years ago.
She'll piss on the couch?
Yeah.
There's blood.
I'd throw in that cat right down the hill.
Yeah, piss blood.
Right?
So I had to put a fucking...
Out of stress or something.
So now, I guess when I was high, I was just like watching like British Bake Off
High.
You know, dude, I need a couch out here.
Maybe the cat was on their period, not peeing blood.
God, I fucking never thought of that.
Yeah.
It is a girl.
Yeah.
Never thought of it.
Pretty logical.
Yeah, very logical.
Probably on the nose.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's the reason why I'm sober because I make decisions like that, you
know?
Yeah.
Bad decisions.
Yeah.
Are you up to making bad decisions?
Mm-hmm.
Sometimes I wake up and I don't remember that I watched like three hours of
reality TV the
night before.
Like, that's not bad.
Yeah, it's not bad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, but blacking out consciousness is kind of weird.
It is a little weird, but that's like if I was stressed out and I took half a Xanax.
But I'm not like seeing escorts and doing coke and I don't even want to do coke
because
of the fentanyl issue.
I don't know.
Well, I haven't seen one in a long time.
I know, but you know much about that world.
Yeah.
I mean, I try to teach you about the world.
And I'm not ashamed.
I'm not ashamed either.
Do you want to get an escort now?
No, I was just curious to see how it works.
I would never do it.
Never?
One day at a time.
I can never say never.
Who knows what's going to happen in the world?
But my point is that maybe tomorrow.
No, not tomorrow.
Okay.
No, but I was just asking, how does it work?
And he tells me.
Would you ever get one?
I have before.
Again.
Again.
Would you get one again?
Yeah, I haven't done it in so long that I just don't have the desire.