Name: Bobby Lee & Juicy Love The Girl Scouts | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-12-01T18:00:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee & Juicy Love The Girl Scouts | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee & Juicy Love The Girl Scouts | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-01. Transcript available.

Thin mints and then lemon.
I'll go zoom in.
Let's see.
Thin mints.
Lemonades.
Lemonades.
Lemonades.
I think that's what I'm thinking about.
What the fuck is a thanks a lot?
That's a great idea.
I've never heard of a thanks a lot in my entire life.
And by the way, they call it-
Oh, I know what the flavor is, probably pussy.
Yeah, because when guys eat a thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot.
That's delicious.
We're going to cut that out too?
No.
All right.
Wait a minute.
Thanks a lot is a biscuit dipped in chocolate
with a thank you message written on it.
Oh, that's really good.
You can't go wrong with shortbread.
But look, it used to be called shoutouts.
You know what?
Tagalongs are the peanut-
They're now called peanut butter patties.
Weird.
They fucking-
I think, well, tagalong is probably insensitive
to nerds and losers that were never leaders.
Yeah, everyone's a friend.
All right, what does Philippe like, though?
Who's Philippe?
Yeah.
Is that you?
Oh, that's your guy.
I just named it.
Fine, dude.
I'm sorry.
Was that too premature?
No, that's sad because it's my uncle I never met.
He killed my mom.
Yeah.
So my mom's dead, and we have to kill my uncle.
Philippe.
Let me see the names again of the cookies.
I think the ones that you like are-
I'm going to go with-
He's big into the shortbreads.
Okay.
Because I'm short?
Yeah.
I have no legs.
But you love bread.
And I love bread.
Yeah.
That's great.
You're a fat little legless-
Yeah, yeah.
Mound and with arms.
But you walk on your hands.
But see, I'm thinking in horror films, you'd be walking on your hands, but your
face has
to be up.
Oh, I know, I know.
And your body's up in the air.
Go ahead.
Because you've been on his side your whole life.
You grab onto people, and they walk you.
That's how you get around.
What do you mean?
You hold onto somebody, and they transport you around.
Are they aware?
Yes and no.
They don't have a choice.
Yes.
Wait, wait.
So a lady's-
Let me just say, I get out of the hospital.
Uh-huh.
And you-
And I see a nurse leaves.
She's done with her shift.
She is.
I latch onto her calf, right?
Is she going, oh, no, it's Philippe!
At first, she goes, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
And then you say-
What are you?
You would ask, what are you?
And you go, I'm a human being.
Not in this world.
Not in this world.
Will she say something racial?
Like, you know what I mean?
Half gook, half gook.
I don't know.
Maybe in the 80s.
Yeah, you're right.
In the 80s.
Get this goo off of me.
Yeah, goo.
Half.
If you're only half.
She says goo.
Yeah, get this goo off of me.
And she knows it's racist, so she stops it at that.
She almost says it's okay.
Yeah, in fear of getting canceled, she carries you wherever you want to go.
That's right.
That's what the movie's called, goo.
Goo.
That's what, yeah, goo.
Right?
The beginning.
But you make people feel bad.
You go, what are you, ableist?
Get me to where I want to go.
I want to go.
Take me to 417 Watchman Avenue.
Yeah, yeah.
Otherwise, I'll tell everyone that you're an ableist.
She drops me off.
I'm in a bush.
And I'm scoping up the house.
Can you imagine?
What do you mean?
You on your hands in a bush.
How are you seeing anything?
That's true.
You're upside down.
I can climb trees.
That you can do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I just see these two arms just clawing up a tree.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
And you just sit on perch in a tree.
How about this?
Why don't we do this as a little, like, you know, while I'm attached to you
still growing
up, right?
We're going backwards.
Yeah, a little bit.
You never clip my nails.
And that's a whole dialogue.
Oh.
You're like, can you clip my nails?
No.
That's why you kill my wife with your nails.
Instead of the chopsticks.
And with the nails, I can climb trees faster.
That's right.
Oh, and that's how we know he's near because we see the scratches and the bark.
Oh, I see.
So it's not right away.
You guys do investigate it the next day.
We discover it.
And you're like a detective Girl Scout lady.
Yeah.
And you're like, look at the fucking tree.
Well, my friends are all looking at my now skinny dad.
And they're like, wow, your dad looks different.
And all I can see are the nail bars.
I mean, that's a side stroke.
He gets a lot of girls because, you know, you're single now, right?
Yeah, but I know I'm not getting any girls because I still have this big gash
of a hole
on the side of my body from where a man was.
That's true.
That's true.
We need to call Ryan Murphy with these ideas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I watched his show last night.
I started The Watcher.
The Watcher.
I heard it's good.
Oh, I watched that whole thing.
You watched the whole thing already?
Is it good?
It's good.
Everyone say it's good.
The one about the house, right?
Yeah, it's very Ryan Murphy.
Do you know what I mean by that?
Yeah, yeah.
No, I don't.
I don't know who Ryan Murphy is.
It was good.
I got scared.
Are you serious?
I swear to God, no.
American Horror Story?
Never seen it.
Glee?
You've never seen one American Horror Story?
It's been on for like 34 years.
I see the billboards.
I'm like, oh, that looks weird.
It's always like two vampires attached to each other and doing some weird thing.
That's like the thing we just wrote.
Yeah.
I'm hacked.
You're literally doing that.
You think I stole it?
Yeah, you did.
I stole it from the billboard.
No, but it's very Ryan Murphy.
But Bobby Cannavale and why can't I think of her name?
Naomi Watts?
Naomi Watts.
He only got 52% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Jennifer Coolidge is fucking, and my boy Richard Kind, my buddy Richard Kind is
in it who
kills it.
Yeah, they're all great.
You know Richard Kind?
Yeah.
Oh, God, you know so many special people.
He's the funniest person I've ever met in my life.
In my entire, I'm not kidding.
His, because he's got that very like, it's like old school New York Jew, like
everything.
I'll be eating a meal and he'll go, are you going to finish?
Oh, wait, wait.
What show was he on with you?
I never did a show with him.
How did you meet him?
He's playing golf.
It's, you know, I'm tired of your fucking golf shit, dude.
Fine.
No, I'm tired of it.
What did I do to you?
Because you, because you meet so many cool people doing it and because my dad
used to beat
me with golf clubs, I have a fear of it and he fucked up my career.
Can I tell you a weird story though?
I have a weird, aside from goo, we'll get back to goo.
How does it end?
I think we let the audience decide how it ends.
In the comments below, tell us how goo ends.
All right.
That's what I like.
So I'm going to tell you something weird that happened.
Love.
Can you take two seconds real fast?