Name: Bobby Lee's Build-A-White! | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2022-12-28T18:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's Build-A-White! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's Build-A-White! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-28. Transcript available.

You literally look like that right now.
A G.I. Joe?
You don't even look like it was placed on you in a factory.
It was, on the white factory.
Really?
A place that you'll never be able to get to go to.
That's the entitlement we have,
is that we are made in a factory.
Whites are made in a factory.
That'd be cool to design my own white.
Make a white?
Oh, I'd love to make a white.
Like Build-A-Bear?
Like Build-A-Bear, but make a white.
They should have that in Asia.
Build-A-Bear.
Oh, I would love to.
Build-A-Bear.
Yeah, Build-A-Bear.
Build-A-Bear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hi, I'm William.
Right.
Like you walk in, there's hair.
Yeah.
Right, so like blonde is like,
it'll say $20.
Yeah.
Black, you know what I mean?
$6.
Free.
Free.
Free red hair.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not even a thing.
It's on the ground.
You know what I mean?
Like hay is on the ground, you know what I mean?
You have to pick it up.
Like, this is free, you know what I mean?
That's number one.
Side red.
Yeah, it's rat hair.
Rat hair?
They grow rats and they just.
Got it.
Yeah, yeah.
Garbage hair.
Like sheep?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What else would you get?
And then, what else could you get?
Pigmentation.
Well, you pick their belly size too, for sure.
What do you mean?
Whites have a lot of rotund bellies.
Right, so like maybe I'll get the Burt Kreischer.
Yeah, right, you can get the Kreischer.
Maybe you can have like, maybe comics should be the body types.
Right, you get the Theo.
The Jezenlec, which is probably.
Optimal.
Very expensive.
Yeah, that's a good bod.
Yeah, yeah.
I want to get the Jezenlec.
Ah, it's $495.
What about the Kreischer?
How much is that?
$450, but then with coupon, it's $2.
Right?
Like, there's a coupon.
Yeah.
Right.
So I'll do that.
And then, so you have the.
Height.
Height.
Oh, height.
So you have the Brad Williams.
Brad Williams package.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Children.
There's a two.
Children or.
Mm-hmm.
Like, you wouldn't have a separate division.
No.
For dwarves.
Well, why not?
And children.
You would just put them in the one thing.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You think so?
You gotta give yourself.
For the bit.
Oh, yeah.
For cutting purposes.
Editing purposes.
For editing purposes.
For editing purposes.
Yes, we should have a separate division.
But then you're.
But then you're.
That's a big store.
Build a white would be a great.
Build a white would be great.
Build your white.
Build your.
What's your perfect white friend?
Build your perfect white friend then, Rudy.
Okay.
5'10".
Okay.
That's crazy.
Oh, no.
I'm thinking about a guy.
I'm going to go with a girl.
Mm-hmm.
5'7".
Mm-hmm.
Pretty good.
Black hair.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Your nose.
I got a nice nose?
Yeah.
Thanks, Rude.
That makes me so.
Go to titties.
Titties?
Okay, okay.
Good face first, then.
You get there.
No lips.
No lips?
No lips.
Most whites don't have good lips.
Yeah.
And then.
At all?
Yeah.
Is that.
Is that.
You're saving money at the store?
No.
I feel like that's what you're doing.
So that I can feel better about myself.
Oh, I see, I see.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, yeah.
No eyebrows.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
And then maybe medium-sized boobs.
Medium-sized boobs.
Yeah.
What's medium?
What's medium to you?
What size is medium?
In a bra, what's medium?
To you, in your mind, what's medium?
36B.
What's medium to you, Juice?
If a girl said I have medium-sized boobs on the phone, you would assume she's
what?
Um, probably, like, uh, D. I don't, they go to, like, 26 sizes.
Yeah.
D is medium?
Well, because they go-
I always thought D was big.
Am I wrong?
They're not.
Too big for me.
Because they go, like, all the way to-
Z?
Z.
No, they don't.
They don't go to Z?
And then they go back to double A, double B, double Ds.
I think most people, when they hear D, they think of double Ds.
Am I learning something?
There's no Z.
Maybe not.
There's absolutely no Z.
But it goes, like, to G and H.
Well, where's Dolly Parton?
What's Dolly Parton?
Cup sizes range from double A, the smallest, to K, is the biggest.
Oh, that's K.
Nice try.
So, I think when guys think Ds, they're thinking double Ds.
Is there a double K?
Probably.
God, I hope not.
Yeah.
Double K breasts?
There's definitely triple K.
No, no, that's racist.
Where are those titties?
Yeah, where are those titties?
That's so-
I don't remember how we even got to-
How did we get from what we were doing into this?
I forgot.
Building a perfect white.
Oh, that's right.
She was building a white.
Oh, you were building a white?
Yeah.
All right, my bad.
What are you going to name your white?
Yeah.
Kimberly.
Kim-ber-ly.
Is that three names?
Yeah, the last name.
Yeah, three names.
So, she's an Asian.
Lee?
Yeah, Kim-ber.
No, no, just one name then.
Kimberly.
Whoa.
So, her first name is Kimber, and her last name is Lee?
No, Kimberly.
What's a white last name?
I mean, pick anything.
Name an inanimate object and just name it.
It's like Bob Coffey.
That's a white guy.
Kimberly Plant?
Kimberly Plant.
That's definitely a white person.
Kimberly Plant.
It's definitely.
100% a white person.
Google Kimberly Plant and see if that's her.
There's got to be a Kimberly.
I know there's one.
I bet there's one in probably L.A.
Is that Poison Ivy's like regular name?
Kimberly Queen Ferns, fresh from Florida.
A dense evergreen fern shapely.
That's a real plant, Kimberly Plant.
Are you single now, Roode?
No.
Wow.
Still with him.
What's going on there?
Nothing.
I'm getting bored, but.
You're getting bored with him?
When you say stuff like that, he hears it.
It hurts his feelings.
You're going to get in a fight with him.
Okay, I'm not getting bored.
Yeah.
Yeah.