Name: Bobby Lee's Bad Behavior on "Drugstore June" Set Starring Esther Povitsky | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-01-04T14:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's Bad Behavior on "Drugstore June" Set Starring Esther Povitsky | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's Bad Behavior on "Drugstore June" Set Starring Esther Povitsky | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-04. Transcript available.

*sad music*
*sad music*
*sad music*
Actings exercises
*sad music*
Teach me some exercises
Korean? I have a Korean... I went to Korean acting school.
Yeah?
*sad music*
That's it?
Every movie?
*sad music*
No, no, no, no, these are just...
You just have to... I'm the teacher, you have to repeat after me.
Okay.
Yeah.
*sad music*
No.
No?
That's not it.
*sad music*
Very good.
*sad music*
No.
*sad music*
Yeah.
It's more like a *sad music*
Very good, just follow.
*sad music*
*sad music*
*sad music*
That's a part of the acting.
Oh, it is?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
*sad music*
*sad music*
Oh, okay.
*sad music*
*sad music*
*sad music*
*sad music*
If you wanted to do it, you had to confuse her.
It had to have been like *sad music*
*sad music*
You just have to throw it in.
Oh, right, right, right.
If you threw it in, she wouldn't have known.
Oh, let's try it again.
No, now I'm onto you.
Why don't we talk about you having the worst night of your life last night?
Okay, what happened?
I got out of a restaurant.
What restaurant?
I went to Village Idiot.
Beautiful restaurant.
You don't know what it is.
I've never heard of it.
I've never heard of it.
It's a bar on Melrose, but I went to...
Are there idiots there?
I was there.
What street is it on?
What street is it on?
Melrose.
I've heard of it.
Yeah, it's nice.
But I went there to go get something to eat.
Who you're with?
I need the details.
Solo.
I was by myself.
You eat by yourself?
I went to do a spot at the...
Well, we can get into all these.
I went to do a spot at the Comedy Store at 8:40.
You were supposed to be right after me.
Or right before me.
You didn't show up.
I couldn't.
They were scrambled eggs.
They were trying to figure out...
Scramble it.
Two people canceled.
People were mad.
Who?
You and somebody...
I don't know.
I wasn't paying attention.
But Emily told me they were scrambled and because you guys canceled and people
were mad.
Juicy?
Yeah.
Take it away.
People kept coming.
I was working a lot.
All night.
Like, oh, I can't wait to see Bobby.
I wonder when he's pulling in.
For real.
And then, you know, oh, Bobby canceled.
And then someone from the main room goes, man, a lot of people coming in were
like, I can't
wait to see Bobby.
I'm in from Australia.
I can't wait to see Bobby.
You want to apologize to the people that flew all the way from Australia?
I apologize only from the people from Australia.
Okay.
What about the guy that flew in from Florida?
No.
No.
No.
What about the New York guy?
He flew from New York.
No.
Really?
Mexico, yes.
Canada, yes.
North Mexico or South Mexico?
South.
You know what I mean?
Where the resort-y.
Like where we were?
Yeah.
Those ones I'll apologize every day.
Cancun.
Cancun.
Because it's way on the tip.
Yeah.
And Tulum.
I love all those ones.
Well, so you apologize.
But Tiana, no fucking way.
No way.
TJ?
What happened?
What happened?
You keep changing the subject.
I'll lead him into it.
He called me.
I was getting in my car.
I was actually walking to my car and he called, he was like, call me.
And then he was like, look up.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't act.
I'm the worst actor that's ever lived.
I can't act.
That's what you said.
Isn't that?
And you go, I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
And he does his body.
When Bobby stutters, it's because he's having a panic attack.
I don't know what to do.
And he got nervous.
And he said that I couldn't read the lines.
I couldn't read any of the lines.
Okay.
Let's show the clip.
Let's see what it looks like.
This is a clip from, this is Esther's movie.
No, no, no.
You can't show when I'm fucking up.
Yeah, we can.
How's Bobby been?
A little grumpy.
How's Bobby been a little grumpy?
Who is that girl that called you a little grumpy?
She's a, um, she works on the movie.
Doesn't know the job titles of anyone.
It's Bobby Lee.
So, um.
Is she an AD?
Yeah.
You don't even know.
No, she's props.
That's so different.
No, she's wardrobe, wardrobe.
They're all so different.
Wardrobe, wardrobe.
So unique.
Director.
She's the director.
No, she's not.
Bobby's doing Esther's movie, which I couldn't be a part of
because I'm filming the third season of Davey.
But Bobby got to do it.
Well, Dave, since you brought that up, they did offer you a part.
And let's just move on.
You don't know.
You don't remember anything from my phone call.
Name the first thing that we talked about when we got on the phone.
You said hello.
You got me.
God damn you're good.
Yeah.
You said hello.
You're good.
Yeah.
And that's how you open.
Hands up.
I'm done.
Anyway, any who.
Do I look more loose?
By the way, I got a massage an hour ago.
No.
And can I tell you how bad it was?
You seem stiff.
You seem stiff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got to get that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, loosen up just a little bit.
Yeah.
She was digging her fucking.
She must've had Schwarzenegger forearms digging into my fucking neckline.
That when I've lifted my head up from the oval pillow, I literally heard.
Yeah.
She pushed so hard.
I'm worse off now.
In Tokyo, I had a lady walked on my back.
See, I like that.
I didn't like that.
No, but then I had to be like a balance.
I had to do a balancing thing.
Oh, your body yourself.
Yeah.
So I'm like, it was like American Ninja at the competition.
Shakur workout.
Anyway.
Have you ever had a little Japanese girl walk on your back?
Not walk, but I had this Thai massage where she was like punching me and she
pulled me up.
That was jujitsu class.
That wasn't a massage.
She was like crawling on the table and she did.
She just like slapped, like punched my back and then she goes, you're done.
And then I was like, what the fuck just happened?
Yeah.
She thought it was Mortal Kombat.
Finish her.
You're done.
All right.
So can I just go back to this thing?
Yeah.
Let's go back to the movie.
I'm going to tell you what happened.
First of all, you're right.
Number one, when I'm in a, that state of mind, I don't know who else to call.
Right.
And you're one of the first guys I called and not knowing that you were going
to expose
me on this show.
Yeah, you did.
No, I didn't.
Okay.
That was a personal call.
I exposed you if it was something serious.
It was serious last night.
No, it wasn't Bobby.
Oh my God.
We were laughing.
Who?
The person that taped that we were laughing are Carlos.
You and I were laughing on the phone.
Were we not?
When?
We were laughing on the phone.
No, we weren't.
When you were rereading.
Hello.
Yeah.
After hello.
I remember now when we were rereading lines and we were laughing because it was
funny.
Okay.
So I'm going to tell you what happened.
Yeah.
Okay.
So they, so I'm a pharmacist in this movie.
Okay.
And you know, in my mind, I'm like the first three pages of the script is me
and Esther's
character talking.
Right.
Right.
So I just go, Oh, Friday is my first pharmacist day.
Obviously they're shooting that scene.
Right.
I mean, you can.
In my mind.
If it's the first scene in the movie, right?
You think, you think everything.
And it's the first location.
It just, in my mind, I just made the assumption.
You, did you read the day out of days?
Do you know what a day out of days is?
Yeah.
I know what a day out of days is.
What is it?
Did you not read the day out of days?
Day, day, day, day, day, day.
He doesn't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
There's a sheet called day out of days, D-O-O-D, a dude sheet.
I have a dude.
Okay.
An AD will send you a dude sheet, literally breaking down what you're shooting
that day.
I didn't look at it.
Because I have a different system.
I don't do that.
Let me, let me guess.
What?
Don't read the script.
Don't know, don't know anything about what's going on that day.
Show up a little bit late from when they told you to get there.
You're really poking.
And then.
And then.
You're poking the fucking lion.
And then.
Yeah.
Call Santino when you freak out because everything didn't go the way that you
thought.
Okay.
Do you want me to continue or no?
Did that happen or not?
No.
Listen to the system and then fucking make a judgment.
Can't wait to hear it.
Oh, you're so fucking.
Oh, fuck you.
Tell me the system.
I will.
So the system is this, right?
Yeah.
When I do any project, I go, just send me all of it.
Not the script.
Not the script.
Not the script?
No.
Send me the props?
No, no.
Send me all the lines.
That's so.
All my sides.
All the lines is the script.
That is the script.
Only mine.
Only his lines.
Yeah.
Okay.
So rewrote it.
Send me my scenes on fucking email.
Got it.
So you don't want to know what the story is.
You just want to know what you say in the story.
I can't.
Even if I read it, I don't understand it.
I got it.
And I'm okay with that.
That's fine.
So anyway, I'll read yours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's emailing me.
It's fucking short.
Every fucking day.
Could you just extract his parts from your shit?
Just my lines.
Yeah.
So I got all the signs, which I think is a mistake.
And I make the assumption that there's obviously we're doing this for a scene.
Yeah.
So Thursday night, I worked the first three pages.
It's just dialogue between me and Esther's character.
Right.
Right.
And around two in the morning, I don't know what it is.
I got another email.
I saw another email and I just poked on it.
And once I poked on it, there was another scene that I have three pages of
dialogue.
And that was the scene I was doing the next Friday.
Yuck.
Right.
The second thing that happened was, I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm
on medication.
Get out of town.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
I'm on medication.
And there's a country depletion of that.
There's a shortage.
Of Adderall?
No, it's not Adderall.
Of Ritalin.
Of Ritalin.
So I haven't been on, for three days, I haven't been on my, any medication.
Thanks a lot, China.
Once again.
Fucking the fucking.
Fucking China, dude.
Yeah.
First of all, the chips in the cars.
Now Ritalin.
What's next, China?
Oh, goddamn it.
Food?
Clothes?
Don't ever get a massage before a fucking podcast again.
It does the opposite effect.
I know.
It really does the opposite effect.
It's crazy.
And you know who massaged me?
Who?
A Chinese lady!
All right.
Anyway.
So two in the morning, I read it, right?
And I'm at somebody's house.
Oh, you're not at the pharmacy?
No.
Thursday night, when I read the thing, I'm pretty much at somebody's house.
Else's house.
Got it.
Ooh.
Okay.
And so I'm reading it, and I'm like, and I start, I go, I gotta get out of here.
I gotta get out of here.
Oh, wait, wait.
We just breezed right over the house.
Whose house?
Whose house?
A friend of mine.
Why'd your voice get so high?
I don't know.
I don't know.
A friend of mine.
A friend of mine.
Whose house?
A friend of mine.
So anyway, I read it, I go, what the fuck?
What did the house look like?
It's an apartment.
I know.
Yeah.
Can we just move on?
How many rooms?
One.
How many bathrooms?
One.
How many animals?
None.
What's the bedroom look like?
It's like an Ikea showroom.
I love that.
I love that.
I love it.
Spotless though.
The shower.
The shower.
Curtain.
Spotless.
Curtain.
Curtain.
The owner's around 25.
You say, when you say owner.
The renter.
The renter.
The owner is in 65 year old Jewish guy.
Can we just move on?
Can we move on?
Okay.
What was in this person's fridge?
Oh, um.
I know you looked.
Oat pudding.
Oat pudding.
Oat pudding.
Overnight oats type of, is that what you mean?
No, they're like these, you know, they look like baby food.
And it's like this.
She offered it to me.
I ate one.
Oh.
And it's one of those things.
It does look like a baby thing.
It's like a plastic thing.
And it goes down.
There's like a little nozzle.
And you squeeze it.
Were you guys role playing?
Yeah.
Was baby role playing?
Thanks mommy for the fucking pudding.
Baby.
That's what I did.
Thank you.
Does my little baby want some old pudding?
Yeah, yeah.
Does she want it on his little pee pee?
Yeah.
Does mommy need to clean the old pudding off your little pee pee?
Okay.
And then ding.
Oh no.
I have to redo my lines.
I have to read my script.
Right.
So I rush home.
Right.
And my call time's at like seven in the morning.
Bib's still on.
Seven in the morning.
What?
Bib's still on.
Pacifier.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I gotta get home.
Okay, I'll go, okay, okay.
Okay.
So anyway, seven in the morning.
I show up and I'm like frantically reading these three.
It's like every other line and they're chunky line.
It's, you know.
Can you do any of them right now?
No.
Damn, that stinks.
It sucks.
I show up and I go, thank God the first scene wasn't that scene, right?
Mm-hmm.
It was with the guy that sees dead people.
He was in it.
Haley Joel Osment.
Yes.
Played golf against him.
Nice guy.
Really nice guy.
Nice guy.
Super sweet.
We talked for a long time.
It was cool.
And Brittany Furlon was there.
I love her.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And love both of them.
And then the scene happened and I show up and I just, something happened.
I was just there and I just go, I thought to myself, I don't know any of that.
You don't remember any of the lines?
Like I just couldn't because I didn't sleep that well.
I'm not on my medication.
I barely know the fucking script.
And then all of a sudden, like this is your first time, first day on a movie.
Ugh.
And you're like, you know, first impressions.
And I'm just like.
You know everybody.
Yeah, I know.
I think which makes it worse, I think.
Well, you know, 50th impressions, they mean something.
All right, shut up.
Your friends are on the movie.
How many people are your friends with?
I understand.
So, and as soon as I opened my mouth, I was like, oh, this is going to be a
nightmare.
Well, so you spiraled yourself.
That was the problem.
Oh, I started spinning.
You know what I mean?
Damn, Bob.
To the director and go.
Because another actor that I know that's like pretty big.
I don't name his name.
He told me this happened to him once.
It's a little trick.
Hmm.
So it's basically like just on your close up, right?
Yeah.
Just feed me every line.
Oh, I've seen people do that.
Yeah.
Where they just line.
I had never done that before.
They line by line it.
Yeah.
And they just say the line, you know what I mean?
And even then, it was just so embarrassed.
Like I was so embarrassed and full of shame.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And it's like, I've worked so much and this never happens.
And so it was just kind of this new panic and this new thing.
And it's like, and after all, it was like, it took forever.
Like eight or nine hours of sheer panic.
So on your side, they line by lined it.
On the other person's side, you just read off the script to them?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've seen that.
After the movie, I literally after, because I also have eight more days on it.
Yeah.
That's a long time.
And then Monday I have to do that first thing that I worked on.
It's terrible.
So.
The movie's not terrible.
You.
I was terrible.
But you, it was, what was happening was bad.
Never happened before.
And I walked and this is what, and Esther was so laughing so hard.
I went to every single person, the grip, you know what I mean?
People that didn't even work there.
You know what I mean?
Like the security guy.
Name some other positions.
Craft service.
There you go.
Yeah.
Gaffer.
Gaffers.
Yeah.
Sound guy.
Best boy.
Literally walked up to me.
I locked him out.
I go, this will never happen again.
I'm so sorry.
The apology tour.
I did the shame tour.
That's so sad.
And then also everyone started going choo choo because of the shame train.
So everyone was going, Bobby's doing the shame train.
Choo choo.
And I just kept going.
It was like.
The sound of the engine is you crying.
Just choo choo choo choo.
I'm sorry.
I mean, it was like, and it's so hard to admit that.
No, it's not.
It's okay.
Cause it happens to fucking everybody.
No, I've seen it happen, but it's just like, it's still, when you're going
through it,
it's weird.
It's like, it's sort of like a panic attack mixed in with like this fear.
It's really weird.
I look, people don't understand what that's like.
It's, it's, you know, it's so hard.
It stinks.
It's out.
And it's like, and it's like small.
It's like, you know, a privileged people problems, but it's like, Oh, big deal.
But it also is, it's like, it's hard on your mind.
I guess what's weird is people that do labor intensive jobs.
Like there was a guy that was putting in fucking rain gutters at my house.
That's so fucking, uh, he's in the sun and you know, like he's drilling these
things.
He's got to clean out the thing.
It's labor intensive, but that he's exhausted physically from at the end of the
day, when
you do 15 hours on a set, your brain hurts.
If you're mentally the drain it takes, it's hard to explain.
People will go big deal.
You're like, it does fuck with your head.
Cause you're up at 4:00 AM and you wrap at 9:00 PM.
Yeah.
And your brain feels like five days went by.
It's fucked.
It's super hard.
There's also this, like, it depends on what you're doing, but like, even like
last couple
of weeks ago, I did sex in the city.
And even if I don't have a lot to say, there's also this weird, like, because
you're in Manhattan
and because it's elevated almost, it feels elevated.
There's this pressure that happened.
Totally.
Like you're walking, like you're walking, you're like, it's time.
Right.
And you go, okay.
And you start walking and there's this weird pressure.
Yeah.
That happens.
And you don't feel that podcasting.
You don't feel it doing standup.
It's for me.
It only happens in that.
That's why I do it.
I think.
Well, because it's like the only thing that really scares me or, you know what
I mean?
It, it challenges me.
Totally.
Yeah.
But it's, it's hard, man.
How's your poop schedule?
I've, well, because of Dave King, you know, Dave King.
Love.
Yeah.
Dave King was like, you know, he made a joke months ago.
He goes, I take, um, Imodium AD before every meal.
So he just doesn't get diarrhea.
Wait, seriously?
Yeah.
He has that bad of a stomach?
It was a joke.
Oh.
And yesterday.
I'm thinking it's real.
Yeah.
But I started doing it.
It's real to Bobby.
It's real to you.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, that's a good idea.
Yeah.
So I've been taking Imodium AD before and I haven't, I didn't poop for like a
week.
What is that?
It stops diarrhea.
But when you don't have diarrhea, you don't poop.
You get constipated.
But it's like a pill or something?
It's a pill.
It's made for, um.
Diarrhea.
Geriatric people.
Bobby!
I mean, they handed out an old folks home like, like candy.
Yeah.
So I stopped taking it and I've been pooing a lot.

Bobby Lee's Bad Behavior on "Drugstore June" Set Starring Esther Povitsky | Bad Friends Clips

*sad music*
*sad music*
*sad music*
Actings exercises
*sad music*
Teach me some exercises
Korean? I have a Korean... I went to Korean acting school.
Yeah?
*sad music*
That's it?
Every movie?
*sad music*
No, no, no, no, these are just...
You just have to... I'm the teacher, you have to repeat after me.
Okay.
Yeah.
*sad music*
No.
No?
That's not it.
*sad music*
Very good.
*sad music*
No.
*sad music*
Yeah.
It's more like a *sad music*
Very good, just follow.
*sad music*
*sad music*
*sad music*
That's a part of the acting.
Oh, it is?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
*sad music*
*sad music*
Oh, okay.
*sad music*
*sad music*
*sad music*
*sad music*
If you wanted to do it, you had to confuse her.
It had to have been like *sad music*
*sad music*
You just have to throw it in.
Oh, right, right, right.
If you threw it in, she wouldn't have known.
Oh, let's try it again.
No, now I'm onto you.
Why don't we talk about you having the worst night of your life last night?
Okay, what happened?
I got out of a restaurant.
What restaurant?
I went to Village Idiot.
Beautiful restaurant.
You don't know what it is.
I've never heard of it.
I've never heard of it.
It's a bar on Melrose, but I went to...
Are there idiots there?
I was there.
What street is it on?
What street is it on?
Melrose.
I've heard of it.
Yeah, it's nice.
But I went there to go get something to eat.
Who you're with?
I need the details.
Solo.
I was by myself.
You eat by yourself?
I went to do a spot at the...
Well, we can get into all these.
I went to do a spot at the Comedy Store at 8:40.
You were supposed to be right after me.
Or right before me.
You didn't show up.
I couldn't.
They were scrambled eggs.
They were trying to figure out...
Scramble it.
Two people canceled.
People were mad.
Who?
You and somebody...
I don't know.
I wasn't paying attention.
But Emily told me they were scrambled and because you guys canceled and people
were mad.
Juicy?
Yeah.
Take it away.
People kept coming.
I was working a lot.
All night.
Like, oh, I can't wait to see Bobby.
I wonder when he's pulling in.
For real.
And then, you know, oh, Bobby canceled.
And then someone from the main room goes, man, a lot of people coming in were
like, I can't
wait to see Bobby.
I'm in from Australia.
I can't wait to see Bobby.
You want to apologize to the people that flew all the way from Australia?
I apologize only from the people from Australia.
Okay.
What about the guy that flew in from Florida?
No.
No.
No.
What about the New York guy?
He flew from New York.
No.
Really?
Mexico, yes.
Canada, yes.
North Mexico or South Mexico?
South.
You know what I mean?
Where the resort-y.
Like where we were?
Yeah.
Those ones I'll apologize every day.
Cancun.
Cancun.
Because it's way on the tip.
Yeah.
And Tulum.
I love all those ones.
Well, so you apologize.
But Tiana, no fucking way.
No way.
TJ?
What happened?
What happened?
You keep changing the subject.
I'll lead him into it.
He called me.
I was getting in my car.
I was actually walking to my car and he called, he was like, call me.
And then he was like, look up.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't act.
I'm the worst actor that's ever lived.
I can't act.
That's what you said.
Isn't that?
And you go, I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
And he does his body.
When Bobby stutters, it's because he's having a panic attack.
I don't know what to do.
And he got nervous.
And he said that I couldn't read the lines.
I couldn't read any of the lines.
Okay.
Let's show the clip.
Let's see what it looks like.
This is a clip from, this is Esther's movie.
No, no, no.
You can't show when I'm fucking up.
Yeah, we can.
How's Bobby been?
A little grumpy.
How's Bobby been a little grumpy?
Who is that girl that called you a little grumpy?
She's a, um, she works on the movie.
Doesn't know the job titles of anyone.
It's Bobby Lee.
So, um.
Is she an AD?
Yeah.
You don't even know.
No, she's props.
That's so different.
No, she's wardrobe, wardrobe.
They're all so different.
Wardrobe, wardrobe.
So unique.
Director.
She's the director.
No, she's not.
Bobby's doing Esther's movie, which I couldn't be a part of
because I'm filming the third season of Davey.
But Bobby got to do it.
Well, Dave, since you brought that up, they did offer you a part.
And let's just move on.
You don't know.
You don't remember anything from my phone call.
Name the first thing that we talked about when we got on the phone.
You said hello.
You got me.
God damn you're good.
Yeah.
You said hello.
You're good.
Yeah.
And that's how you open.
Hands up.
I'm done.
Anyway, any who.
Do I look more loose?
By the way, I got a massage an hour ago.
No.
And can I tell you how bad it was?
You seem stiff.
You seem stiff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got to get that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, loosen up just a little bit.
Yeah.
She was digging her fucking.
She must've had Schwarzenegger forearms digging into my fucking neckline.
That when I've lifted my head up from the oval pillow, I literally heard.
Yeah.
She pushed so hard.
I'm worse off now.
In Tokyo, I had a lady walked on my back.
See, I like that.
I didn't like that.
No, but then I had to be like a balance.
I had to do a balancing thing.
Oh, your body yourself.
Yeah.
So I'm like, it was like American Ninja at the competition.
Shakur workout.
Anyway.
Have you ever had a little Japanese girl walk on your back?
Not walk, but I had this Thai massage where she was like punching me and she
pulled me up.
That was jujitsu class.
That wasn't a massage.
She was like crawling on the table and she did.
She just like slapped, like punched my back and then she goes, you're done.
And then I was like, what the fuck just happened?
Yeah.
She thought it was Mortal Kombat.
Finish her.
You're done.
All right.
So can I just go back to this thing?
Yeah.
Let's go back to the movie.
I'm going to tell you what happened.
First of all, you're right.
Number one, when I'm in a, that state of mind, I don't know who else to call.
Right.
And you're one of the first guys I called and not knowing that you were going
to expose
me on this show.
Yeah, you did.
No, I didn't.
Okay.
That was a personal call.
I exposed you if it was something serious.
It was serious last night.
No, it wasn't Bobby.
Oh my God.
We were laughing.
Who?
The person that taped that we were laughing are Carlos.
You and I were laughing on the phone.
Were we not?
When?
We were laughing on the phone.
No, we weren't.
When you were rereading.
Hello.
Yeah.
After hello.
I remember now when we were rereading lines and we were laughing because it was
funny.
Okay.
So I'm going to tell you what happened.
Yeah.
Okay.
So they, so I'm a pharmacist in this movie.
Okay.
And you know, in my mind, I'm like the first three pages of the script is me
and Esther's
character talking.
Right.
Right.
So I just go, Oh, Friday is my first pharmacist day.
Obviously they're shooting that scene.
Right.
I mean, you can.
In my mind.
If it's the first scene in the movie, right?
You think, you think everything.
And it's the first location.
It just, in my mind, I just made the assumption.
You, did you read the day out of days?
Do you know what a day out of days is?
Yeah.
I know what a day out of days is.
What is it?
Did you not read the day out of days?
Day, day, day, day, day, day.
He doesn't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
There's a sheet called day out of days, D-O-O-D, a dude sheet.
I have a dude.
Okay.
An AD will send you a dude sheet, literally breaking down what you're shooting
that day.
I didn't look at it.
Because I have a different system.
I don't do that.
Let me, let me guess.
What?
Don't read the script.
Don't know, don't know anything about what's going on that day.
Show up a little bit late from when they told you to get there.
You're really poking.
And then.
And then.
You're poking the fucking lion.
And then.
Yeah.
Call Santino when you freak out because everything didn't go the way that you
thought.
Okay.
Do you want me to continue or no?
Did that happen or not?
No.
Listen to the system and then fucking make a judgment.
Can't wait to hear it.
Oh, you're so fucking.
Oh, fuck you.
Tell me the system.
I will.
So the system is this, right?
Yeah.
When I do any project, I go, just send me all of it.
Not the script.
Not the script.
Not the script?
No.
Send me the props?
No, no.
Send me all the lines.
That's so.
All my sides.
All the lines is the script.
That is the script.
Only mine.
Only his lines.
Yeah.
Okay.
So rewrote it.
Send me my scenes on fucking email.
Got it.
So you don't want to know what the story is.
You just want to know what you say in the story.
I can't.
Even if I read it, I don't understand it.
I got it.
And I'm okay with that.
That's fine.
So anyway, I'll read yours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's emailing me.
It's fucking short.
Every fucking day.
Could you just extract his parts from your shit?
Just my lines.
Yeah.
So I got all the signs, which I think is a mistake.
And I make the assumption that there's obviously we're doing this for a scene.
Yeah.
So Thursday night, I worked the first three pages.
It's just dialogue between me and Esther's character.
Right.
Right.
And around two in the morning, I don't know what it is.
I got another email.
I saw another email and I just poked on it.
And once I poked on it, there was another scene that I have three pages of
dialogue.
And that was the scene I was doing the next Friday.
Yuck.
Right.
The second thing that happened was, I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm
on medication.
Get out of town.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
I'm on medication.
And there's a country depletion of that.
There's a shortage.
Of Adderall?
No, it's not Adderall.
Of Ritalin.
Of Ritalin.
So I haven't been on, for three days, I haven't been on my, any medication.
Thanks a lot, China.
Once again.
Fucking the fucking.
Fucking China, dude.
Yeah.
First of all, the chips in the cars.
Now Ritalin.
What's next, China?
Oh, goddamn it.
Food?
Clothes?
Don't ever get a massage before a fucking podcast again.
It does the opposite effect.
I know.
It really does the opposite effect.
It's crazy.
And you know who massaged me?
Who?
A Chinese lady!
All right.
Anyway.
So two in the morning, I read it, right?
And I'm at somebody's house.
Oh, you're not at the pharmacy?
No.
Thursday night, when I read the thing, I'm pretty much at somebody's house.
Else's house.
Got it.
Ooh.
Okay.
And so I'm reading it, and I'm like, and I start, I go, I gotta get out of here.
I gotta get out of here.
Oh, wait, wait.
We just breezed right over the house.
Whose house?
Whose house?
A friend of mine.
Why'd your voice get so high?
I don't know.
I don't know.
A friend of mine.
A friend of mine.
Whose house?
A friend of mine.
So anyway, I read it, I go, what the fuck?
What did the house look like?
It's an apartment.
I know.
Yeah.
Can we just move on?
How many rooms?
One.
How many bathrooms?
One.
How many animals?
None.
What's the bedroom look like?
It's like an Ikea showroom.
I love that.
I love that.
I love it.
Spotless though.
The shower.
The shower.
Curtain.
Spotless.
Curtain.
Curtain.
The owner's around 25.
You say, when you say owner.
The renter.
The renter.
The owner is in 65 year old Jewish guy.
Can we just move on?
Can we move on?
Okay.
What was in this person's fridge?
Oh, um.
I know you looked.
Oat pudding.
Oat pudding.
Oat pudding.
Overnight oats type of, is that what you mean?
No, they're like these, you know, they look like baby food.
And it's like this.
She offered it to me.
I ate one.
Oh.
And it's one of those things.
It does look like a baby thing.
It's like a plastic thing.
And it goes down.
There's like a little nozzle.
And you squeeze it.
Were you guys role playing?
Yeah.
Was baby role playing?
Thanks mommy for the fucking pudding.
Baby.
That's what I did.
Thank you.
Does my little baby want some old pudding?
Yeah, yeah.
Does she want it on his little pee pee?
Yeah.
Does mommy need to clean the old pudding off your little pee pee?
Okay.
And then ding.
Oh no.
I have to redo my lines.
I have to read my script.
Right.
So I rush home.
Right.
And 