Name: The Bad Friends Army | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-02-03T08:00:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Bad Friends Army | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Bad Friends Army | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-03. Transcript available.

happen yeah this has got to happen to you i went a whole year i think it was
like third grade and i
i missed one of the days like when we got this teacher so i never knew my
teacher's name and i
went i was too embarrassed to ask could you ask your friends i didn't have any
friends i was just
gonna say there's no way she had it was like you know we moved a lot oh juice
so i just got a
teacher but they are teacher yeah for what it's worth they are teacher is there
any way you can
like ask like a another teacher or a principal or somebody it's too late now it's
too late a long
time and you were a year for a year you called her teacher yeah that's insane
but to be fair she was
teacher that's true like if she was a podcast host yeah i'd be like well yeah
like if i was in the
milk i called the guy captain if he was a captain yeah oh if you can't do that
with their like you
have to be a certain rank you have to be a captain oh general captain so if i
call an admiral captain
that's bad yeah you don't want to do that they'll you up who will the the admiral
oh captain or the
admiral either one of those guys are gonna beat the out of you probably both of
them okay officer
ranks second lieutenant first lieutenant captain major lieutenant colonel colonel
brigader general
major is it brigadier i think i'm a brigadier you know what they should i don't
like the way
that they did that first of all major major general should be after major and
brigadier general
should be the top thing it's brigadier huh fuck i fucked that up what would you
say i think i think
major general sounds bad general is whack because something that's general is
basic oh that's right
and that's like majorly yeah you're major basic i think the top dog should be
the colonel because
colonel sounds dope everybody loves the colonel yeah kfc well that everybody
loves the colonel where's
commander he's in chief he's somewhere there's no commander up there no well
there wasn't a first
officer either zoom in on that one this is how little we know about the fuck i
don't know anything
about but thanks for doing it guys military people out there we really respect
you and appreciate you
because i'm i can't do it i really couldn't zoom in on any of those tits i call
carlos tits now
oh that's nice because he kind of he's like a little cute little pair of tits
all right let's see the ranks baby what do we got scroll down just in the list
so we don't look at
like that all right private private private first class specialist that's when
you really moved up
in privates what is a specialist like someone that specializes in something i
think he's a little
special private oh yes on the spectrum he's on the spectrum then it goes corporal
sergeant staff
sergeant because he can count all the enemies yeah one two three very good
special private how many is
there behind the bush three loses count corporal sergeant staff sergeant has a
staff infection
sergeant first class will not fly coach first sergeant master sergeant sounds
racist command
sergeant major that sounds fake sergeant major sergeant major of the army what
wow then a bunch
of warning officers just get numbers warrant officer i don't want the
commissioner officers let's move
on from that second and first lieutenant captain major lieutenant colonel colonel
brigadier general
major general lieutenant general army chief of staff general army chief of
staff general that's too
many words for the guy who's supposed to be the number one that's no i thought
that was the least
wait what no no oh wait is that the top i'm a private specialist no you're
right this is the army
chief of staff is number one your top yes your top dick because that could so
can major general talk
shit about army's chief of staff in front of his face not in front of his face
but behind his back
can you do it of course you get you tell lieutenant colonel and captain oh i
see i see you know he's
gonna have the hardest laugh his second lieutenant he's gonna be cracking the
up yeah
so if i if i was lieutenant general yeah right you'd be ahead of me maybe oh
yeah
all right all right so you're you can be lieutenant general then i guess no no
no no you would be
colonel a special i'm colonel right she's lieutenant colonel she's second
lieutenant okay
i was like yeah yeah yeah yeah and what are you then in this situation
lieutenant general
okay so i can come up to you lieutenant general what's up santino i'll go how
are you sir
i'll go what's wait what are you again i'm you just you said i was carnal oh
yeah i'll go yes
colonel what's happening oh you're gonna be that formal because i'm about to
talk
shit about the fucking army chief of staff if you came up to me like that i
wouldn't say
shit colonel colonel colonel what calm down oh sorry this is a free shit talk
uh room that's right
we're by the watering can by the water he needs to salute you though even if
you're by the watering can
and then you have to tell him that he's no that's not a thumbs up you think
that's how the how
funny if the army saluted that way that would be so if they were like colonel
oh they do this right yeah can you do both yeah i've never seen that that's
that's what
that's what the koreans do a lot of respect is that a lot is that a lot of
respect that's too much
respect i would do that for you you got to pick a hand i'll go hey lieutenant
general santino what's
up what's up player oh shit you're in a good mood yeah hey can i tell you about
army chief of staff
what the fuck did he do he stinks he stinks like fucking garbage man hate him
yeah should we kill him
like remember during desert storm should we kill him oh yeah you're under
arrest colonel oh and i'm
in trouble yeah i was just kidding though fly in fly in second lieutenant take
the second lieutenant
take care of that's what you would do yeah oh that sucks entrapment dude that's
entrapment i can't
have you hurting my own crew oh and i see what you do colonel okay this is is
this entrapment let me ask you
something wait what what what i just that was not entrapment what was that then
uh that was some
bit shit oh you did that's what they call all right but would i still get
arrested yeah for
sure yeah yeah but i'd get i'd they'd me up wait i would get arrested for
calling army chief of staff
smelly no they're saying he should be killed killed yeah you said but you're
the one that brought it up i
just gave you the bait you ate it i said you said we i said should we kill him
and yeah and i go yeah
as a joke i think i think i can fight my way out your honor i don't think colonel
was joking
whatsoever there's no jokes in army okay there's no jokes in the army there is
no jokes in the army
what's entrapment you were just gonna ask me what do you think is entrapment
did you feel like you
got in track no no no what i'm asking you like for instance if i'm with a um
not that i would do it
but if i'm with like you know oh boy this sounds like entrapment no if i'm you
know
if i'm with you know the lady of the night a hooker that's what i said juice no
no juice
juice why do you sound like a tv character are you talking about a hooker it's
like keep it down
mary lou like we're mayberry or something yeah hypothetically no but if you if
you say to a lady
of the night you go hey are you a cop and they said no they don't have to tell
that that's it is
that a myth that's a myth okay they don't have to tell you if they're a cop
that's a crazy the idea
that people you have to tell me if you're a cop no they don't they don't have
to do why that's where
is that rule that's a weird fake law that's true by the way it's important to
understand military
crimes that you can be charged uh one such crime is pandering under article 134
of the union
uniform code of military justice the ucmj of course pandering by including inciting
or
procuring an act of prostitution is a crime so if you're in my army colonel
yeah and you're
fucking hooks you're done for pal right 134. you know what i thought pandering
was
what for gold oh pandering
first i'm like oh that's illegal we came all the way out west to pander for
gold yeah come on gold
Is that pandering though or not?
- Panning. - That's panning.