Name: Bobby Lee Is Obsessed With Diamonds and Gold | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-02-05T08:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Is Obsessed With Diamonds and Gold | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Is Obsessed With Diamonds and Gold | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-05. Transcript available.

how bad would you and i be at panning for gold i'm serious oh i'd be patient no
the only the only
thing that i would be at bad is distinguishing if it's gold or not yeah but i
could do this all day
yeah i could be out there for 16 hours there you are there yeah you are there
yeah i could do that
all day if that's my job you could pan for gold yeah because in my head i'm
like there's a means
to an end of this maybe there's no guarantee imagine because back in the day
when they did
this imagine the dopamine hit if you got like a nugget amazing i mean look i
got a nugget like
you're just you know i would break look at all the nuggets i got but here's the
problem yeah this
incited so much violence this is this was the problem of the gold rush the
amount of violence
and war that broke out because the amount of people that were killed in the
middle of the night
because they they know that you found i don't got a nugget right that's you're
right you already
yelled it out nothing i've been there for three days there's a there's a great
show there's a great
movie called the ballad of buster scruggs do you remember this oh yeah and
there was a bunch of
vignettes and one of them was uh short films inside of inside of the movie was
about a guy
who found gold and then you know the guy that saw that he found it was like oh
it's fucking so dirty
because immediately dude you've been out there look there you are right there
that's bob yeah
you're panning for look look look don't say that's me that's definitely you you're
panning for what
10 12 days she's panning for rice is that right is that obviously panning for
rice or something crispy
rice or regular they're panning for gold these people yeah i don't know carlos
is fucking good
yeah asian panning for gold wow she's typed in asian but look at the way she's
right she probably
hasn't found anything she probably what hasn't found anything in her whole life
well if she has she
no maybe she's just saving see this is the problem with you oh the moment you
found some gold you put on a
gucci shirt and be panning that's right with my golden goose fucking shoes you
have golden goose
shoes panic girl no she knows don't let them know that you got the money so
then when you find the
little i don't know how it works but i'm sorry i'm asking questions no please
all right well like how
you know my dad was a yeah that's what he did how do you think we ended up out
here but if i found
like are they nuggets you find like i found a nut like a bunch of nuggets gold
nuggets most of the time
they find flakes in this day and age they find a lot of gold flakes so i got a
bunch of flakes and
you melt smelt it down into into liquid gold like that right there that's
exactly what most people
find these days but can you find nuggets yeah of course you can look there's
one in the corner but
like the weight of nuggets that are found now isn't as prominent as it was in
the fucking gold rush days
let me ask you something yeah why do i know this no i have another because i
watched the show gold rush
it's great i have another question please one of my favorite disaster movies
okay it's called the core
just hear me out okay and in the movie the core the center of the earth starts
stop spinning
right so what they do is they develop a spacecraft or like an earth craft to go
into the middle of the
earth and they let anyway they when they're going down they run into all these
diamonds right
and when i was watching that in the movie theater i'm like that's what i want
to do
is get diamonds if i could just get that fucking craft because in the movie
there was so much
fucking dime it was like caverns of diamonds yeah like just coming down from
the you know what i mean
so let me ask you something right if i dug deep deep enough would i be able to
find china no oh what
caverns of diamonds no why do you think there is a layer of earth that is just
diamonds yes okay
how do you know there's not how do you know there's not yet thank you juice you
know what yeah yeah i want
both of you guys to start digging no because there's no way right here both of
you guys to start because
you have to go through the mantle scientists have discovered a full layer of
diamonds in earth's core
there we go there you go if we can make it there just hear me out i'm listening
right
that's a lot of diamonds i how deep is it let me figure it out so that website
was in spanish i don't
yeah yeah well fancy's right there it's like it didn't seem it didn't seem like
how much diamond
that is dude can you imagine imagine if we discovered that much time how could
we lug it out
how heavy would that be you don't need to take on it all whatever your pocket
oh i'll have a
fucking pentagonia backpack or something i would like core the core is found at
about 2900 kilometers
that's 1800 miles below earth's surface and has a radius how far below our
earth diamonds there we go
well these are just natural diamonds that's naturally occurring not the diamond
place right there is no
diamond place it's not real you guys yes there is there's a diamond place all
right i believe it
i believe there is yeah but they're i mean they're in our earth right a quad
trillion tons of diamonds
lurk deep in the earth but they're spread out over the end well let's get the
fucking diamonds dog
we gotta get the diamond i'm trying to convince you dude dude in our earth
there's just plenty of
diamonds but we have to spend so much we don't have to be doing this acting
podcast and shit no
more dude oh then we're the diamond brothers are we are we the diamond bro we're
the diamond
brothers dude this that's the mario brothers spinoff is the diamond bro yeah
and what we do is we
yep yep yep yep we just dig for diamonds all day we can't sell all of it
because the thing is is that
you know demand right so we just make get sell enough uh-huh right we corner
the mic market and
how much money do you need to sell how much money do you want to make on
diamonds to be good
a billion okay once we hit a billion you're okay yeah we're done okay so a
couple hundred million
and then what we're not gonna do what we do yeah once we make a billion dollars
in cash
right then we just give all the diamonds away so that it loses its value
diamond yeah split them
amongst the door guys oh first yeah okay wait a minute that's so funny i like
how bobby wants
to run like a crypto scam where he's like once we've made our money we dump the
whole fucking thing
nobody makes money yeah yeah it's basically what crypto does yeah once we make
our cash we fuck it
that's what i want to do okay that's fine what else who's gonna give us money
for the diamonds that's
the problem who has the capital who we selling them to um i don't know them
careful what careful
okay i was not thinking that what for the teeth they love it you think rappers
are gonna buy all of
our diamonds don't deal what they like lodge them in their teeth they love it
they do you're right
imagine if like they had like the first front tooth just full of diamonds are
they you can make a tooth
out of diamonds i think you should have a mouth filled with actual diamonds i
think your you should
teach your be replaced with diamonds because diamonds hardest some of the
hardest thing on earth right
hardest look at that oh bobby you look so look at the grill like that let's get
you one of those bob
i gotta but is that real diamonds yeah yeah it's gotta be right yeah but no no
you know what i want
to make it out of that fake steel so that my my everything turns green in my
mouth
like chains from high school yeah amber rose boyfriend alexandra alexandra edwards
shows off
permanent diamond grill so it's permanently put inside of his mouth that's what
i'm saying that's
what you want yeah or that's our audience whom we're selling it to yeah okay
and once we make a
billion we give it all away well then what are we going to do with a billion
dollars oh shit what
would you do with a billion here you're you're you're on the level of elon musk
right let's say you sell
something uh-huh what would you do with a billion a lot man i would buy a
pottery barn oh you know
also pure one imparts they don't stop stop stop the first thing you said was
buy pottery bond the
chain yeah yeah yeah why i like it okay you can't afford it it's uh over three
billion dollars fuck
well with me with my boy wait pottery barns a billion three billion uh yeah all
right for fuck i didn't
that much 2.5 billion yeah it's an international company how about this how can
i how can i buy
period one imports how much is pure one imports goodbye i mean i don't know if
we can afford pure
one either i need pure one imports pure one net worth of 512 million i just
said i could buy half
i could buy it with half my money all right 500 so you can buy pure one yeah
can i buy west end how
much is west end i really like west end dude because i want restoration
hardware but i know i can't
afford it you can't afford that no it's too fancy yeah i can buy west you buy
pure one i'll buy west
end yeah and then juice what do you what company do you want to buy i just want
a studio apartment
man oh yeah how about this can you imagine getting getting a billion dollars
and she's like i just
want a studio with this billion she might you might be nice and by that time i
still can't afford it
in la yeah now by then you won't but free furniture i'll hook you up from pier
one oh you would and
west end and west end all right um maybe i'll get a one bedroom i will say i
currently live with
five dudes and it's been like over two years because you are moving out in your
own in your
your solo spot right it's yeah i mean i am but there's no like no time i mean i
don't know five
guys for how long it's been like over two years yeah one of them has a workout
a gym a gym outside
your window invites more comics over to work out today it's kind of cool which
you can hear them
early in the morning do repetitions come out one more buddy get up get out and
get lifting dog i think
that's what he thinks he's doing for me it's a nightmare motivating you yeah
that's the one thing
i love about you know finally living in a house is you don't hear like yeah rub
it in yeah that's
the one thing i like about luxury listen up juice no but you know it's the the
garbage man what what
the garbage man what because i've lived in the city for so long in an apartment
i always was awakened
to either construction or the garbage man
yeah i hated it hate it but now what do you hear nothing no you hear something
what still happens
leaf blowers in every part of this city
oh yeah yeah but mine comes at two i told them to come at two
oh see my neighbors it's just fucking it's constantly yeah it's constant
i hear this is that your neighbor
that's an owl that's an owl hey let's let's trade my neighbor stood outside my
window went
i would call somebody hey mike
he's a little sick but we love him yeah what do you say we should trade places
for a week
no oh yeah yeah like jerry and kramer did on seinfeld you guys should swap swap
places
and i live with the five guys yes
actually dude that's so fun it would be awesome you could have to sleep on the
bed with your boyfriend
yeah but it's a california king
that's like oh it's a california king cow king he's six foot eight this fucking
guy
how tall is he yeah six foot two
yeah that's like that's not that big and california king is wide so you're you're
not you're anywhere near
yeah i have a california king okay so you know yeah i do you should rush it a
bit
i mean rough it a bit get in with like the people the working people i think
you should let her live
at your house and you live at her house i think it's a great idea i would do
for reality show
well fancy welcome to the podcast yeah