Name: Bobby Lee vs. Carlos Herrera Part II | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-02-08T08:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee vs. Carlos Herrera Part II | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee vs. Carlos Herrera Part II | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-08. Transcript available.

Let me tell you what he did.
You know what, Bobby?
This is so not fair.
No, time out, time out, time out.
Time out two ways.
Yeah.
I agree with you.
No rotating.
Thank you.
Hey, give it to him now.
Here we go, all right?
I owed him $400.
I know.
Right?
I know.
He comes from money.
No, don't do that.
Let's rewind.
Don't do that.
I'll take that out.
You owe him $400.
I owe him $400.
It had been a couple of days, right?
And then he texts me his Venmo thing, and hey, man.
Yeah?
Like two days later.
It's like, I'm going to get you.
No, we work together.
We're friends.
I'll get you when I get you.
Okay.
A time out.
Carlos.
I can read it right now.
You want to read it?
Yeah, you can read it.
How many days after he said he was going to pay you the money, did he pay them?
We never designated a time.
We didn't designate a time.
That's right.
It was when I remembered that I texted Bobby.
I didn't want to forget.
Yeah, that's him because he's a fucking pothead.
He doesn't want to forget that you owe him money.
He would have to remember.
Dude, these fucking stoners, they're so fucking dumb that he has no idea what's
going on.
He's right.
This fucking pot guy, he's a pot guy.
I walked in.
I did your Venmo.
Yeah.
Yeah, you did it.
Immediately, right?
Yeah.
There were some things said in between.
There was some things said?
All right.
So, I'm going to look up your fucking thing right now, dude, okay?
It was just, yeah.
I mean, you didn't call me any words via text.
So, he goes, hey, the money you owe me.
That's not what he wrote.
No, read what you wrote.
There literally is nothing said.
He did it.
I paid you.
End of story.
How many days after the money that was owed from the thing that was the money?
I think it was like four days.
Four days is kind of a good window.
If you work together and see each other every day.
We don't see each other every day.
We don't see each other.
You don't see him every day.
Bobby, I was alarmed.
Let me ask you something.
Are we flight attendants on different airlines?
No, we're podcast hosts.
Exactly.
We work together, right?
So, during a month, how many times do I see you during a month?
10, 12 times.
Exactly.
Eventually.
You had to text me.
It was just weird.
Anyway, let's move on.
Oh, I know.
You got me all started.
Well, I'm 50-50 on this.
I think you're both in the wrong.
Okay, good.
I think you should have let it chill.
You should have also.
I think I'm sounding like a baby today.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
All right, let me regroup.
Yeah, regroup.
You know what I think you should do?
I need to bring the money.
Do you know what I think you should do?
Give him another 400 right now.
Thanks, Bob.
You know what I think you should do?
Yeah.
I think you should tell him you're going to give him 400, but not when.
Oh.
Sexy, sexy.
Yeah, you know what?
I'll give you another $400, but you'll see when you get it.
No, make it more for fun.
You know what?
You're going to give him 10 grand.
No.
Let's play this game.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, for you?
Yeah.
Fancy?
We're going to give you 20 bucks, but we're not going to tell you why.
No, no, no, no, no.
By the way, Fancy, he's a little snappy little fucker.
I'll tell you why Fancy's doing this, though.
He wants something out of me.
I'll tell you what.
I know.
I know.
He wants you to do it.
He's trying to get on my good side, and that's what I like about him.
He's a weasel.
He's a snake.
He's a snake in the fucking grass.
Yeah, yeah.
He is.
What do you want out of Bobby, you snake?
I just want him to be professional.
What the fuck does that mean?
What do you mean?
What does that mean?
Speak your mind, dude.
It's New Year.
Go ahead and say it.
It's 2023.
Yeah, let's change.
We didn't do New Year's resolutions yet.
We will, but I want to hear this bullshit out of this guy.
Okay.
What do you want?
So Bobby got me involved in a project.
Uh-huh.
That sounds good.
Yeah.
Thank you.
We did the project with some pulling teeth from me.
Yeah.
And then the project is ready to be discussed, and he left me hanging, and when
I text him
about it, he just blows me off.
Uh-huh.
Interesting.
Welcome to texting Bobby.
Right.
No.
And he told me the other day when a girl, a friend of his was around here that
he was a
new man, and he was going to really do it.
Throw me under the bus, huh?
You could throw me right under the bus, huh?
Wow.
No holds barred.
I like it.
Look, fancy a bus is coming.
Okay, Bobby.
Dude, you're, that's, all right.
All right.
You want to go that way.
Okay.
See, now you know why I get mad at this fucking guy.
You know, I'm on your side of this, dude.
He's a fucking snake.
Yeah, you're a fucking snake, dude.
You're a snakey little fuck.
Yeah.
Let's go to New Year's resolutions.
Jules, what are yours?
My name's not Jules.
Whoa.
Oh, my God.
Whoa.
That's your New Year's resolution.
Memorize people's names.
Well, this goes back to the thing from before.
The dude thing.
Yeah, yeah, the guy.
I had no idea her name.
I think my.
First but second.
No, no, no.
I just, I just, what is her fucking name?
You gave it to me.
No, you know Jules, but you don't know her real name.
Her real name is Jessica.
Yeah.
Okay.
Juicy?
Her name's not Juicy.
Is her name Juicy?
Juicy, yeah.
No, no.
She dropped it.
She doesn't want Juicy.
Juicy.
What is it?
I can't drop it.
Oh, okay.
It's impossible.
I can't believe I called you that.
That's so wild.
That's crazy.
I'll post a flyer and say jet ski and all the comments are like, it's Juicy.
Wait, wait.
When you fucked up, you claimed Alzheimer's?
That was your defense mechanism?
Yeah, my dad does that too.
Yeah, yeah.
That's crazy.
Where are we?
Yeah, you did one of those.
All right.
Who's that?
Yeah.
Larry David?
What's your New Year's resolutions, Juice?
Probably to be more memorable.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, to get my own place.
What's your real New Year's resolutions, Juice?
To get a house.
Wait, is that not how a resolution works?
No, no, no, no.
Usually it's like I want to change something.
Change your behavior or something inside here.
Oh, no.
I think I'm done.
You're done what?
I'm good.
You're done changing?
Yeah.
Okay.
So the New Year's goal is for you to get your own place?
That's my goal, yeah.
Well, let me tell you something.
Whatever you need to make it happen, we'll help make it happen.
You guys already are.
Yeah, but I mean, whatever you need, we'll help you, okay?
Thank you.
Whatever you need, we'll do it.
And if it comes at a cost of the show, like we have to pay these guys less,
that's fine too.
That's fine with me as well.
Yeah, that's fucking fine, right?
If we have to deduct their pay, don't you think that's fair?
Deduct their pay to get her a place to live?
What did you say?
I didn't want her to do that.
Me too, but we have to find a fucking way to do it that doesn't seem so on the
nose.
I just need $1,500 to $2,000 a month.
Got it.
Extra.
I like $1,000 extra.
She said that's what a studio apartment is now in LA.
Wow.
Two grand a month.
Two grand a month.
You could afford it.
But isn't that crazy in LA?
That's what it is now.
What did you pay back in the day?
My first apartment in Los Angeles was $417 a month.
Yeah, mine was like $517.
$417, but I shared it with four other men in one bathroom.
That's where I'm at right now.
I was there, dude.
We did it.
We fucking did that shit.
And then my second place was $850 because I had my own bathroom.
Yeah.
Because it was me and two other guys and they shared a bathroom and I had my
own bathroom
and I was like, I'll pay as much as it takes to struggle just to get my own
bathroom.
And then after that, my first one bedroom by myself was $1,195.
I remember it.
$1,195.
How great was that?
Bro, when I got my first one.
That's why I want her to have that.
She deserves to have that fucking feeling.
Most of next year, I'm not even going to be home.
I have so many days.
I know, but you need a place to call your own.
When you are home, you need a place to get away from the fucking bullshit.
You know what I mean?
You need a place to call your own.
We're going to make it happen.
When I got, right before MADtv, I made a chunk of money on a commercial and I
remember moving
into my own studio apartment.
It was exposed bricks, hard wooden floor.
Sexy.
I painted it.
There was this vintage furniture store by my house.
This guy Barry ran it and he gave me some deals.
It was so dope.
So cool.
Oh my God.
Having your own place.
It's the best.
It did change my life.
Being able to do it was a big fucking,
I remember, I remember one time coming home when I'd first like moved in there
and I closed
the door and I was by myself and I like looked around and I remember being like,
I don't have
to talk to anybody.
Yeah.
It was incredible.
I was like, for the first time I lived in a place where I didn't have to talk
to any
humans.
That's my dream.
I didn't have to say hi or do like a fucking, I don't really want you guys to
be smoking
bongs right now.
I just kind of want to, I have to like do a thing.
And I was so stoked to just not.
Well, the place I moved out of was three floors up.
So the, my roommates were still up there.
Oh shit.
Right.
And they would always want to come down.
No, you're not coming.
No, you don't enter into my fucking place.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is kind of a problem though, to be like, I'm still here.
You're gone, but you're still there.
I was still kind of still there.
Terrible.
Okay.
What's your new year's resolution, Bob?
Real or whatever you want to do.
Can I say what you're, what I think yours should be?
I think I know what it is.
Go ahead.
I want to spend some time alone.
Hmm.
I really, no, there's no joke.
Okay.
There's no joke.
I need to get to know myself better.
Are we talking like go on a trip alone?
No, just be alone.
In LA?
Yeah.
For how long?
Maybe a year.
What?
We have a huge tour coming up.
No, no, no.
Not that.
In terms of like seeing people and stuff.
Yeah.
He means, he means romantically alone.
Oh, I was like, we're sharing bunks on a bus.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Juice.
I'm not going to go leave me alone in the bus.
No, I'm not going to say that.
No, but I think so.
Okay.
Yeah, because I.
One calendar year.
You think you can go a year?
Yeah.
Really?
I do.
Do you want to make a monetary bet?
I already owe you a thousand from the masturbation.
Yes, you fucking do.
No, I don't.
A year is a lot.
How about, let's just do three months of just complete.
What's the word I'm looking for?
Celibacy.
Celibacy.
It's not just the celibacy.
It's like.
And I mean intimacy with others then.
How about that?
How about no dating, no nothing for three months?
That's fair, right?
Let's do it.
Yeah.
Let's see how it feels.