Name: Juicy's Barbies... | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-02-11T08:00:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Juicy's Barbies... | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Juicy's Barbies... | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-11. Transcript available.

- I know what you guys are describing.
- What?
- A Barbie doll.
- Yeah!
- Barbie dolls don't have openings, I've tried.
- That's what I'm saying.
- To look.
- To look?
- Well, I've seen a Barbie before and I look
and I go, it's just like a flat surface.
- What is this?
- Crack her legs open.
She's not a chicken.
- I break it.
- You just crack it?
- Out of anger.
There's no vagina!
- But you're right, Barbie dolls do have,
Barbies have smooth tits, no nipples.
- Yeah.
- And they have a slope.
- Yeah.
- Juice, did you have Barbies?
- I actually used to bury my Barbie dolls.
- Well, sounds like a story time.
- Go ahead.
- I don't know why.
I would cut their hair and then they'd look weird
and I'd go back and, you know, I grew up in the desert.
So it was like the suburbs, but the backyard was all dirt.
And I'd go back there and bury them.
And then my dog would go take them out and chew them up.
And my mom would see his naked, dirty, chewed up Barbie dolls.
- Do you know why you're, my God, dude.
- This is like Dahmer shit.
- Yeah.
- Well, I got it out of my system.
- That's right.
- 'Cause your dog knew they were still alive.
- That's right.
And the dog could hear, "Help."
- Yeah, my dog's my best friend.
So she was like, "I better finish them."
And she took them out and shoot 'em up.
- How many Barbies did you bury in the backyard?
- I would say like three to five.
- Three to five?
- I didn't have like an unlimited amount.
- But wait a minute.
- So you got bought these and was your mom never like,
"What happened to your dolls?"
- I think we just laughed about it.
Maybe she was scared to ask me.
I don't know.
- Your mom was like- - I should ask her more about that.
- I used to do that too.
I used to bury little toys.
- She definitely thought it was weird.
- Do parents have inventory of what they bought the kid?
Like, I don't know if as a parent, I'd be like,
"Oh, what happened to the PlayStation
that I bought my son three years ago?"
- Well, PlayStation's a pretty obvious one.
That one's a big one.
- Or the ball.
- Well, balls, balls, no.
- Kids love balls, right?
Like baseballs. - But Barbie dolls,
if she only had five of them and they were all gone,
at one point your mom would be like,
"Didn't you just have Barbies?"
- Oh, that's right.
- What happened to the fucking Barbies?
- Yeah.
- Do you have limits on what you're allowed to buy your kids?
Like, do you have a discussion with your wife
over like, can't get too many gifts and all that stuff?
Also, get off the Apple box.
I want you at ground level.
- I try to, but she keeps on buying stuff.
I got into a Montessori.
- Ooh, congratulations.
- And then I did a half a day of research
and I've told her we need to have a Montessori household.
And then she keeps buying other things.
- What is a Montessori?
- It's a school, it's like a Catholic school almost.
- No, no, it's a, it's a, where smart kids go.
Like the heads of Montessori, he's on the CEO side.
- But how do you know your kid is a smart kid?
- Well, no, it's a, it, you make things small for kids.
So like they have little tables.
It's all things like it's very kid centric,
but treating them as adults.
- Isn't Montessori like a, it's a school,
but it's religious based?
- Um, no, but this is more just like a training them.
- Here, let me just stop talking and look it up.
- Training them.
- How are you training your child?
- So it's a lot of wood, natural stuff.
- Wood?
- What?
- Montessori toys.
- It's a cult.
- It's a cult for babies.
- It sounds like a cult.
It sounds like a baby cult.
- Yeah.
- Well, for smart babies, yeah.
- How do you know your baby's smart?
We don't know that yet!
- He knows twice as many words as normal kids at his age.
He's a genius.
- Who would say that?
Who told you that?
- Well, every time we go to see the doctor,
it's like, how many words has he been saying?
Like, 40.
Oh, well, usually kids are speaking 20 words this time,
you know, at this check-up.
- You're lying.
- You're lying your way into a Montessori.
- Right.
- You've lied, and he's okay with it.
Well, you're gonna unfollow him?
He just lied to you.
- Yeah, you're a liar, dude.
- Just like those girls, unfollow.
- But he wants, I guess he wants to believe that.
- Well, here's the deal.
- Yeah.
- Part of the growth of a child that we've seen
is that the support from the parents
makes them believe that they can do something.
So he's tricking his kid into thinking
he has the ability to do a lot of stuff.
- I'm raising him as a genius.
- Yeah, honestly, it might work to a degree,
until he has to take a test.
- But yeah, but the ones they realize they're not,
they go into, you know what I mean?
- Great depression.
- They go into comedy.
- Well, they might, yeah.