Name: Andrew Santino Talks To His Dad | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-02-17T08:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Talks To His Dad | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Talks To His Dad | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-17. Transcript available.

But does your dad, he's still alive, what, right?
Yeah, he's alive.
Yeah, see, I love tweets.
Just even going here, you did the next thing.
No, I push the mic with my chin.
I do it all the time.
Was it your dad's dick?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's alive.
Yeah.
Does he, you talk to him?
Yeah, sometimes.
Is he proud of you?
Yes.
Is there guilt?
What do you mean?
Is he, do I have?
Does he feel guilt for not raising you?
You know, I'm not him, but I assume for sure, yes.
I think.
There's something there.
I think for sure he's sad that we're two different.
You know, we're, we're, I'm a grown man.
He's a grown, older man.
And he sees me now as an independent vehicle.
So it's, we're two people just in space.
Let me ask you this.
If your dad called you, your biological dad.
That's who we're talking about.
Yeah.
I know.
Yeah.
And he's like, what does he call you?
Andrew.
Ann.
Ann?
Ann.
Oh, makes me sad.
He goes, and?
Ann?
Yeah.
Ann.
I'm going through a little difficulty.
Can you do it with a Chicago accent?
Ann.
Ann.
Ann.
Yeah.
All your accents are the same.
What?
It's one thing.
Well, give me a Chicago.
Do your, do your.
No, do a, do me.
Do a Chicago thing and then I'll, so I can get my mind wrapped around it.
Ann is dead.
Ann is dead.
No, no, no.
Let me do the best I can.
But the A's, the thing you have to know is.
Ann is dead.
In Chicago, A's are, eh.
Like, so dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Ann is dead.
Oh, hey, Pop.
Hey.
What's going on?
How you doing?
Are you eating right now?
Yeah, I am.
It sounds like you're chewing on something.
Philly cheese steak.
You're in a Philly cheese steak?
Yeah.
Delicious.
Man, you love those.
Anyway, hey, Ann.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm going through a little bind.
You're in a bind or you're going through a bind?
Both.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you're in some shit.
I'm in a bind.
I'm going through a bind.
Forget about it.
Okay, bye.
No.
Oh, no, don't forget about it?
No, don't forget about it, Ann.
Okay, so.
You know, Ann, you know.
Are you using again?
You don't sound sober.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just doing some cocaine.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Back to square one.
Yeah, just kidding.
All right.
Anyway, Ann, how you doing?
I'm good.
Anyway, hey, Ann, I'm going through a bind.
In a bind.
You're in a bind.
Right.
And I need to borrow some cash.
How much?
Can you loan your pops 15 grand?
Are you being real?
Phone's hung up.
Really?
No.
15 grand?
No.
If he said he needs 15 grand?
Yeah.
What for?
I just can't pay rent.
Oh, shit.
And I can't eat.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Sorry about the abandonment.
That's okay.
Is that where you slide that in?
I think you slide it in there.
No.
In the beginning?
I just go, that's a bummer, man.
Are you being real?
I'd say, well, we'll try to figure it out.
Would you compromise?
Yeah.
Like I'm haggling?
Yeah.
How about four grand?
I'll give you three.
You know what?
I have a feeling.
All right.
I'll give you one.
I have a feeling that you would.
Yeah, I probably would.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I don't think I'd be in that circumstance, but I probably would.
Maybe.
Because he's so, he just can't get humble enough to ask you?
Well, he wouldn't need it.
He doesn't need my money.
He's fine.
He's fine.
In a bind.
Or going through a bind.
Whatever your dad said in the fucking sketch.
Well, what did he say in this?
He goes, I'm going through a bind.
All right, well, how about this?
What happened?
Tell me what happened.
Anne.
Yeah.
How you doing?
We already did that.
We did that.
Tell me what happened.
I bet we did that.
Also, you know, Anne, you know I got a house.
I know.
Right, and I had to, I'll be honest and vulnerable in front of you, right?
I had to give, I had to take a loan out of my house.
Oh.
Right?
Yeah, people do that all the time.
Because you know your Uncle Sammy.
Uncle Sammy.
You know old Uncle Sammy.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember him.
He's going through a bind.
Everybody's in a bind?
Just, hey, everyone in the Santino family?
Bound.
Bound.
So, you know, he was going through something and, you know, he had a cocaine
thing too.
And it transferred over to you?
It transferred over to me, right?
And then I lost the house.
Oh, shit.
Right, and right now I'm at the Holiday Inn.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, but I have one more day left of finances and I'm done.
They're going to keep me out on the street.
Damn.
Yeah.
Well, hold on.
I have another call.
Are you being real?
Bob.
Yeah.
My biological dad is on there when he's asking for money.
What is he going through?
A bind.
Would you do it?
Would you do it?
You know, I don't know.
Yeah.
A genuine answer?
Yeah, genuinely.
I don't know.
Are you being fucking kidding?
He's your fucking dad.
He's going through a bind.
You gotta help him.
How did he get bound?
You have money.
How did he?
15 grand's on a lot.
How did he bind?
How did he bind?
I just told you, Uncle Sammy.
He went through a bind.
Yeah, I don't know.
Really?
My genuine answer is I don't know.
Maybe you could recreate some moments you lost of your childhood before you
gave him the money.
That's true.
There you go.
He could push you on a swing.
He could go back to the time.
Or I'll sit back on a stoop and he'll actually show up this time.
And you give him $1,000 each moment.
You recreate moments for my childhood that you fucked up on.
And I'll give you a grand every time.
Hey, Ann.
Yeah, Pop.
What's up?
I got the cancer.
Oh, shit.
I don't have health insurance.
Yeah, I know.
I'm going to die if I don't get the chemotherapy.
Yeah.
Yeah, I need $15,000.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
So there's no love there?
No, no.
That's not true.
I'm joking for the sake of the show.
But everything would be circumstantial dependent.
What is the circumstances that we're in that you need?
Wow, I did not know that about you.
Well, what you're not explaining is, okay, you want me to be philosophical and
deep about it?
That's why I'm asking.
Because I've said this before.
Because you don't understand the depths of it.
It would take too long for me to talk about it.
Yeah.
But I've said this before.
Anybody can be a father.
But it takes a lot to be a dad.
And that's just a fact of life.
And as you get older, you learn.
I think I saw that on a G.I. Joe episode.
It was at the coffee shop.
I just want to talk about that.
But I was going to say this quote.
I wrote this once when I was doing a bit about my old man that I said, a father
has to finish once and a dad is never done.
And I mean that.
Yeah.
To be a father, you have to fucking nut in somebody one time and it may work.
Yeah.
To be a dad means your job is to be a dad until you're dead.
So if we're being deep and honest, he was a biological father to me.
Right.
But my dad who raised me, the guy who raised me.
But you wouldn't exist without your dad, your father.
Yeah.
Or my mom.
He gave you existence.
Yeah.
But that's 15 grand.
No, that's the easiest thing in the world.
Existence, 15 grand.
People come in people all the time.
How much is a sperm donor?
Probably like 10, 5.
You have 10 grand?
Yeah, that's a compromise.
I go, dude, I'll pay you out like you're a sperm donor.
That's a compromise.
That's interesting to me, though.
But the depths of the relationship would take me too long to explain to you
about why I feel the way I do, that there is a disconnect.
Yeah, but just principally, what I would do, just this is just me.
You don't have a dad and a stepdad.
You don't understand what it's like.
I know, but I'm in the same situation.
You're not, but you're not.
You didn't have a guy that raised you that.
I've had cousins who I don't really have a relationship with.
What?
How do you think that's the same thing?
I just, because it's just like, no, I don't have a relationship with them.
But fatherhood.
So you're saying there's deep resentments there.
No, not resentments.
It's just, there's a feeling that you get as a young man when your father isn't
a part of your life.
Right.
That you become your own man.
And maybe this is a male biological thing.
You become your own entity and you kind of look at it as, well, you're a man.
I'm a man.
I respect the idea that we were family, that we're family, but I'm my own man.
And if you don't raise me, you're just a man that had me.
Like that, that's like, like the instant, what these guys are going to instill
in their kids are like, I'm going to be there for you forever.
Right.
And once you lose that for a child, when it's in a developmental stage, it
doesn't trust you anymore.
I mean, it's animalistic.
It's instinct.
Once a dad is gone and leaves the child, they immediately have to think
independently like, well, that thing isn't with me anymore.
It creates a million different emotions and problems.
But like my dad who raised me, that guy, he's my dad.
Now, would he, would you loan him money?
I'd give him every dime in my bank account.
Oh, would you loan me money?
I'd give you every dime in my bank account.
If you needed it.
If I needed 15 grand, I just know where to go.
Thank you.
I would 100%.
I wouldn't think twice.
Yeah.
And of course I'd give my biological father money.
I'm just, I'm joking.
But I like, but I'm saying like my, if we're being genuine, you wanted to get
genuine.
Yeah.
That's, I, I felt that way in the more recent years as a young man, as a man of
like, any
bozo can be a father, but it takes a lot to be a dad.
I think it's important to be, it takes a lot to be a dad.
Yeah.
To like raise a kid.
Like this guy's got a sacrifice.
Yeah.
He hasn't been around and I, and I appreciate that.
It's good.
Cause he's fucking like that.
I'm supportive of it.
You haven't been around being, doing your business, but I know that you're a
new dad and now you
have a newborn, a younger one.
What's it called?
The one before.
What's it?
What's, what's, what is the kid called?
What's it called?
I don't know what the son's, he doesn't like me, so I don't, I'm not going to
memorize
the name.
Oh, he knows your name though.
He already sees a photo of you.
Well, he knows his name because Bobby's famous.
That's not like, like, oh, your son knows a famous guy.
Yeah.
I'm verified.
Yeah.
My point is, is that whenever your kid's around, he just has a distrust there.
Every, every baby.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not true.