Name: How To Improve the Whoopee Cushion | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-04-18T07:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How To Improve the Whoopee Cushion | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How To Improve the Whoopee Cushion | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-18. Transcript available.

why did she die no i don't know much it was just like posted on facebook i
found out a couple years
ago what a bummer that that's what death is equated to now yeah facebook but
when she died
did you cry at all no i was just did you smile so my dad's remarried and i love
my stepmom and
so and she's been in we've been family for so long this is ancient history so i
just kind of
forgot about this lady it was just awful but but i think you told me one time i
think you told me
one time that she died jamie died in a crazy funny way what was it again yeah
it was a uh whoopee
cushion accident i'm not kidding whoa what happened she sat on it and it was
like it like blew up but
it also made the noise which is why i'm laughing oh she died so she got it it
was like and then she
died you know what a whoopee cushion would be even better if you could put farts
in it
because people put air in it but if you can actually put a fart in it it gives
it that double
you know what i mean like it's a fake fart but not it's real it's real almost
that's actually but
not out of a butthole yeah but we should invent that here but how how how what
do you mean how
would you feel well what where do farts come from we've got to figure that out
what is a fart air
it's gas it's gas it's a buildup of gas check it out right i got it right here
it's air or gas is it a gas it's a gas if you put air let's you put um poo
think about it poo in a
plastic bag and then yes correct you could do that does it turn into gas that's
right it would
right yeah somehow put that no yeah put that in it should i call my engineering
buddy i don't know
you need to shoot you need to look up this video right now there's a guy that
they so sometimes
they can extricate gas from cows watch a guy release gas from a cow and then
light the the
methane on fire so check this out okay this this guy extricates like gas from
the cow and and he
lights it on fire look at this like a that's like a like a flamethrower wow
that's because all the gas
coming out of that cow wow the flammable methane gas from a cow is displaced uh
what is it called
abomin embolism i got it i got it you take the whoopee cushion you put it at
the end of that
instead of lighting it on fire you let because it's coming out right but the
but the flame is burning
off the methane yeah we take the flame out you don't light it that's how we
fill up whoopee cushions
that's what i said i know but we sell that we have to sell them full but then
how do you refill them
it's a one-time use okay one-time you put that in the packaging i get it yeah
one-time use only
right i'm in and if you want to put regular air you can use it after that but
then it's going to
taste like fart oh you blow into it yeah it's like a fun interesting um yeah so
anyway um by the way
have you ever had a valet fart in your car when you go to pick your car back up
he has what do you
mean i fart in your car well that's that's probably true yeah yeah no but i
picked my car from the valet
the other night yeah and a hundred percent he farted in my car yeah but you can't
you can't
prove it that's why what do you mean i was sitting in a what you you weren't
witness to the fart
it could be anything i had dinner for an hour and 25 minutes right a fart
cannot sit that long so i
didn't do it what's a rat huh a rat a rat a mouse you think i have animals in
my car
where are these there could be a little mouse underneath your seat he farted
yeah so the mouse farted
check this out you're drunk one night you got taco bell right i never but yeah
okay okay hypothetically
okay get right half a bean burrito right mouse shit i've been down here for six
months man how did
why did the mouse get into my six months is so long it's just a theory i got it
right bean burrito
right he eats it right farts and then he knows the valley is going in i can
blame it on this guy
right well raul right raul well he doesn't have to blame anything because i don't
know the mouse is
under there for six months okay how did he get the burrito who did mouse you
dropped it drunk one
night i dropped a huge burrito you were drunk driving so first of all i'm
drinking and driving
and i just drop a whole burrito on my seat because when i used to get drunk i
used to wake up with
like a um what do you call it oh sausage mcmuffin with egg you wake up and you're
like you have
something on your face you know i mean like a sandwich you fall asleep fall
asleep like that
one time in college we did the thing where i cooked a pizza i put in the oven
and it caught on fire
because i left it and i fell asleep oh almost burnt the apartment down my bad
boys it didn't it didn't
but it was burnt to a crisp and it was stinky stinky and smoky smoky that was
my fault i bet you
are fans at home someone's falling asleep and put a pizza in the oven i've done
that but i took it out
but it was already burnt anyway so i just woke up the next morning and there's
a burnt pizza in my bed
did you eat it no but it felt like a one night stand where i woke up and i was
like oh what did
i do last night what did i do with you last night burnt pizza have you ever
made a homemade pizza
yeah i tried it oh yeah no you go to what vons and they have that one thing it's
like um yeah what's
it called it's like it's already crusted well they have pizza dough no not
pizza dough it's another
thing that's already like the and then you just put cheese and it's crust no it's
pizza crust that's
already cooked yeah right and that's what i meant and frozen no not frozen
where what do you mean i
can't even explain it it's like a dried i know what you're talking about what
you do really it's in
that clear bag yeah yeah it's clear bag yeah and it's like baked already it's
already baked so it is
cooked like i just said is that what you said we keep saying the same thing
what is going on no no i get
what you're saying no you know what she knows what i'm saying yeah right now
don't do that but but
whenever i did that it just didn't taste good it's never i've never done it
with a rick real dough
oh i've done it with real dough really is it worth it yeah so worth it i have a
bread maker
i'm not to brag but rich now tanya papa over here yeah you have a bread maker
little tom papa
where do you get that my grandma gave it to me oh it's one of those it's hand-me-downs
yeah i guess he doesn't like stuff i don't like hand-me-downs because you can
go to bed bath
and yam bianni get a new one right yeah like a high-tech one i like mine by dyson
it tastes
better when it's made with love look at that oh wow it does it does no my
friend's mom my friend
michelle's dad i mean mom my friend's dad um had a brick brick uh brick pizza
oven in their backyard
brick oven pizza oven and it was that's what they say it's good it's so good
and he would make us
pizza i would sit there i'd eat pizzas all night what do you do with butt sauce
what do you mean
what what kind of sauce yeah do you go like prego no you gotta get yourself a
can of smashed
tomatoes and uh put it in a put it in an emulsifier you gotta emulsify the
smashed tomatoes put parsley
you can put a little bit of uh you could put a little bit of bajabool in there
yeah and gajagun
you know what the best you ever have bajabool and gajabool and here's what you
do you emulsify
the tomatoes listen up you just
you emulsify the tomatoes put bajabool and gajabool on the back side
then you spicka spacka spooka baca all over the pizza yeah and you put your
toppings on you put
mats you get fresh mats then you put a little bit of basil you like basil i
love both put a little bit
basil you drizzle some olive oil on there extra virgin you don't want them used
you want them
extra virgin and then you slide it in there what's sebastian maniscalco that
was very good
what's a movie that they cook italian food and you were like i want to eat that
right now i have it in
my mind casino good fellas veal parmesan yeah good fellas when you're in prison
when he's slicing the
garlic oh my god when i watch that i go i want to eat that and also because his
fingers are his
fingernails are oily i like that so much you can see the italian greaseball oil
coming off of his hand
yeah i'm a greaseball sorry internet yeah