Name: The Saddest Limo | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-04-27T07:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Saddest Limo | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Saddest Limo | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-27. Transcript available.

in the audience if a beautiful woman wants my number give it to him all right
let's talk about
this let's talk about what happened that's fucked up there was multiple girls
in vancouver who were
pretty that wanted to be bobby's lover and one of them in particular was a
young woman that was up
in the balcony and was really committed yeah and carlos went up there to go let
her talk yeah and
she asked a question basically will you hook up with me is what she said yeah
and carlos sabotaged
the situation he cock blocked the situation by not only not giving her your
number yeah but he
tried to sneak a dm tour exactly i have a reason why though yeah celibacy oh
right you're doing it
you said it last week yeah i know celibacy you know um unless something comes
my way
it's a it's a you know what i mean for me it's like this it's like i'm not
gonna pursue it right
but if it comes my way you know what i mean if i'm walking down the street
right and i see a vagina
i'm gonna pick it up because when you when you're chasing it and stuff it
becomes like a drug right
you get the dopamine hits there's a mystery the chase all that stuff and i just
feel like it feels
unhealthy so i'm not i don't want to do that but it's like you know if i'm
walking down the street
you mean and somebody says here hands you a pussy that's like being handed a
box with a ribbon on
it or whatever it's got to be nicer than a dick for sure yeah dicks just get
thrown it yeah yeah
always but i feel like that's like drinking a beer just because someone offered
it to you when you're
sober oh this is interesting that's an interesting thing yeah yeah that is
interesting somebody threw
a crack i don't have an addiction to that you think i do i think there's
potential for it
do you think you're addicted i know you always push you think you're addicted
let's start there
and who's more addicted you or me i'm you're way more addicted i was gonna call
out a guy right
who's maybe addicted when you're the most addicted it's like am i not right or
no yeah but i can see my
brother in arms like i can see my brother like it like i can see as someone who's
addicted i can see
the traits of addiction famous for his own that's insane he goes out there andrew
have you noticed
i saw what he did out there a few times i mean you're just swimming in ego but
a girl said she
was taller than me in the audience she did yeah what's good about carlos why i
love him so much
is his confidence level has taken him farther in life than life was going to
take him so you have
to have that kind of bravado to last yeah you know what i mean he's got to have
that swagger
he's not tall he's not strong he's not smart he's bald he's gay yeah he's got
all these things
going against him he's like you know what your your type is as a man crumb what
wait that's what someone would call no like you're that category of white dude
yeah san francisco weird
artist crumb yeah drawing you don't know crumb what robert crumb yeah you know
him look it yeah look
it up robert crumb that you're that type that's crummy that guy looks cool no
look at him in the
70s but i'll say this can i give you a compliment all jokes aside yeah carlos
is a handsome cool dude
he's got great swagger and that's why girls like him the problem is there's a
balance between that's
oh my god carlos that's you that's your type yeah your type that's the kind of
person you are yeah he
looks cool yeah his neck looks grabbable i should be so lucky to be robert crumb
yes i agree he has
kirk fox's neck such a long neck oh giraffe yeah yeah no talented what i'm
saying is the problem is
right both of you guys talented cool wonderful dudes you're both out there
fishing even though
yourself you're fishing a little bit how by being on stage and being like just
because i have a fishing
rod don't make an assumption that i have a fishing rod right yeah and i've got
bait yeah you know i mean
i'm fishing okay i'm just prepared for a big school i get it but the point is
and juicy can attest she's
actually probably the best balance of all this because she saw it all go down
we need to have a
regulated way if a girl says flirting with bobby that you need to step back and
let that happen and
let that thing go and then you can get your own girls right yeah i mean how did
they handle the
situation you think it was bad yeah i think if they say i want to date bobby
that should be pretty
clear pretty clear pretty cut and dry at that point yeah i think there was two
of them yeah there was
two who's well i just want to say the real issue is that bobby and i are now in
the same dating pool
weirdly enough oh really yeah you got to change that water yeah yeah no i i
think so what i think so
can i tell a story that sandy down so told me yeah yeah yeah please that's
about me yeah but it will
go for a full circle oh this is great okay tread carefully no no no no no go
wild it doesn't show
you in a bad light but it was about when you were opening for polly me yeah
okay and and sandy was
saying that there was a point where you like passed this threshold of like now
you're picking up all these
chicks on the road you know and uh one time anybody who knows polly knows the
house's openers sell his
merch for him yeah yeah and sandy tells me that one time you didn't do that you
instead you went
instead of selling fishing not only did he go fishing but he he went he found
these girls they
wanted to hang out with him you totally skipped the meet and greet line and i
was told no keep going
i like it i remember where where it was even and then paul and then uh polly
was so mad he took your
girls no that's not that's not the story how did it that's how weird that's
absolutely not the story
it's it's it's insane you know what it's it's fucking you know it's so fucking
let me ask you
tell you something i'll tell you what i'm emotional okay all right let me just
get it out okay it makes
me so angry okay all right this is what happened okay i can tell you what club
it is say it okay
funny bone columbus okay i mean you could have just made that up but i believe
it okay okay yeah
it was in ohio yeah columbus it is yes it is then i got it right yeah you did
columbus ohio
right and um he's on stage i'm at the bar two beautiful girls go um hey we just
thought you
were so funny and i go thank you you know that's how i said it too and they go
hey we're just kind
of drunk and you know i mean we want to fucking hang you know and we think you're
cute it was like
you know a present yeah that was the gift so there was a limo driver um that
you know because at that
time paulie had always a limo driver waiting outside right so i went into the
limo with these
two girls what's so funny i just no it sounds good yeah and i'm making out with
them right and um
and i'm like oh this is i won the lottery yeah you're making out with both of
them yeah this is
great yeah i won the lottery and then all of a sudden the door opens he goes
what about me dude
what about you dude he grabs both of them and they leave now i'm sitting in the
fucking limo
saddest limo the saddest limo on planet earth but also the rage yeah