Name: Bobby Sleeps on a Church and Santino Adopts a Son | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-05-18T07:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Sleeps on a Church and Santino Adopts a Son | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Sleeps on a Church and Santino Adopts a Son | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-18. Transcript available.

What happened in Raleigh was I said, I said, let's book a hotel.
So we went to a baseball game.
Yes, so fun.
And I said, I need to book a hotel last minute.
We book a hotel.
His is already pre-booked.
I go to the hotel front desk.
I go, hi, it's Raleigh on a Thursday.
You got to have a room.
I mean, that's not what I said, but obviously I thought.
It's interesting that those are the first time where I was responsible enough
to get one before you.
And let's be honest, you didn't get it.
Somebody else did.
No, but two days before I called.
Your manager to book a hotel.
No, no.
You texted your assistant.
My assistant.
I'm just saying, I was still mindful about it.
I went, just in case we're about to hit Raleigh, get me a hotel room.
Right, right, right, right.
And get me the most expensive one because I didn't want you to get the most
expensive one.
I wouldn't have.
I know, but still, it would have hurt me.
I would have gone to cheapopeoplehotels.com.
I know.
What I did was, so I walked into Raleigh and I thought, by the way, there's a
million hotels in the city.
So I thought, I'll get something.
Who cares?
I walk in with him and I said, this would be nice.
Can I stay here?
And the woman goes, totally booked out.
And I was like, yeah.
Yeah, I remember.
Seriously?
Yeah.
And she goes, totally booked.
I was like, it's Wednesday night in Raleigh, North Carolina.
Yeah.
In the middle of fucking spring.
I was like, what the fuck?
And she's like, yeah, no, totally booked.
And I go, okay, I'll see you later, Bob.
I'm going to go get a hotel up the street.
I got a hotel anyway.
Then he goes, I go, let's go get dinner.
He goes, you got to see my fucking room.
The penthouse.
Go upstairs.
Yeah.
It's the entire fancy.
Look at me.
The whole sixth floor has one room.
It's his.
It's my room.
And you know what his patio is?
It's the restaurant.
Yeah.
When he walks outside, there was a-
No, they cut out half the restaurant's patio.
And it's yours.
And made up my patio.
They put like some blankets over a gate so they can't see him.
The patio, just his patio, not the hotel.
The patio was bigger than our entire studio.
Then all the rooms combined.
Can I tell you something?
Yeah.
That's only a restaurant.
It's a club.
It's a nightclub.
Two in the morning.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
It's fucking chaos.
Also, can I say another thing?
Right?
My bedroom has 52.
It's a fucking shirt.
It's got 52 windows.
Right?
So at 5.30 in the morning, right, God shoots his lights in.
Let's wake Bob up.
Shoot the lights in.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
It wasn't worth the $1,500 fucking dollars.
I paid for two nights in that fucking thing.
I'd rather be in a fucking dungeon with you.
It was a ripoff and fuck you.
Should have gotten to cheapopeoplehotels.com.
It was a nightmare.
It backfired.
It did.
He went and slept on the bus.
I slept on the bus because I was like, the light.
That's so funny, man.
The light's so bright in there.
I go, who?
Like, there should be no windows in the bedroom.
Should be none.
None.
None.
You don't need one.
Because I have different rooms, right?
Here's a tip.
Cheapopeoplehotel.
We're going to buy old jails.
Wait a second.
Like, this is something that gets me so mad about the U.S.
If you go to Europe, especially if you go to Spain, for example,
every window, every house, doesn't matter where you are, has shutters.
So there is no light coming inside any room if you don't want to.
This fucking guy.
Anywhere.
They have shutters too, man.
No, here in the U.S., everything is open.
He's talking about slats.
Like, they go completely flat.
Yes.
Every single window on every single house.
Oh, I want a shutter, dude.
Right.
Yeah, we've got to get ourselves some shutters.
Oh, fuck.
Google shutter, dude.
Well, you know, dude, they have the window shutters.
Boop, they close you.
I don't want one of those.
It's like an army.
It's like a military house.
Because when you do drapes, the sides seeps the light through.
Of course they do.
Yeah, I don't like it.
You know what?
That's why I travel with a stapler.
Oh, you do?
I always staple.
I stapled to the wall.
You know what I do?
I took heavy things around the room.
And push them against it?
Yes.
I've done this.
I've done this.
I took the fucking iron, right?
And put it against the fucking curtain.
Oh, yeah.
So everything in my room is like blocked.
And you know what I mean?
I've done this.
Yeah, you've done that.
Look at this.
Fully enclosed.
Oh, shit.
So this opens and closes completely.
If you want a little light, you can leave it like this.
Like that.
They lift a little light into the bottom.
It also looks like prison.
I don't care.
No, I know.
But it does look a little prison-y.
Yeah.
You like the bunk on the bus, huh?
Yeah.
The little coffin.
That, it's a coffin.
Yeah.
But it's pitch black.
In fact, one...
Because what happens is we sleep around 2 in the morning.
We drive.
We do.
Yeah, you're at 9 p.m.
But we're in bed.
You wake up.
You open your eyes.
And you're in a different city.
Which is great.
It's so cool.
But one city, I don't know what happened, but we parked underneath a bridge or
something.
Like it was an...
Oh, is that one...
And when I woke up, I literally thought that I had died.
Louisville.
Louisville.
Because it was pitch black.
I opened my eyes and it was so dark.
I'm like, I think I died.
I just prepped something on the phone, by the way, because...
By the way, many of you have met McCone, our new videographer.
He's lovely.
We love the kid.
He's on stage with us now.
He's going to be back on the show when we come.
Come back.
We love him.
He's probably going to be a member of the Bad Friends team for life.
I think you...
There's something about you and him.
Why?
I love him.
No, but there's something going on.
What do you mean?
Not sexual.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, I haven't tried.
No, I know.
Do you think I should try?
It's like a dad and son thing.
It's like a real father and son.
Not as a mentor, but a real...
That relationship.
I see you guys.
Yeah.
Well, here's why.
It's sweet.
Like you make him call you daddy.
I make him call me...
It's sweet.
First of all, it's Papa.
Yeah, yeah.
It's sweet.
Papa Santino.
No, you know what it is?
Because I really love him and he is a member of our family because of my good
friend Brandon
Dermer, our mutual friend, who I've known for years, directed my first special.
And he said, this kid is very intelligent.
He's extremely like cultured and keen.
His music sensibility is fucking way beyond his years.
He's 23 years old and he knows more than most people in our age range.
And his talent and depth of talent to come in the future.
You know when you see someone in your life...
Like when we knew Jetsy, when I first saw you do stand up, you just kind of can
tell no
matter what, beyond the fact that you're good now, it's like, well, you're only
going to
get better.
And I see the same thing in him where I'm like, he's only going to get better
at his craft.
He's annoying.
He is annoying as fuck.
And I'm going to tell you...
I'll give you an example.
I needed to say that first before I start shitting.
Okay, I'll give you...
Can I just throw my thing?
Here's how he's annoying.
Yeah.
All right.
He...
Because I had already complimented him before we went on a tour that you're
very good
at like starting conversations with people that are famous or like you're not
intimidated
by certain situations, environments, right?
So when we had coffee with Rob Schneider, you know, Rob has the court.
I had the second court.
We're going back and forth, right?
And I'm outside on a smoke break.
Yeah.
And I'm looking at McCone and I can see him with his lips like...
He's waiting.
Waiting for...
You know what I mean?
To get his fucking thing in.
And he goes, so what was it like on SNL?
Was it scary in the...
I go, stop, McCone.
I know what you're doing.
I know what you're doing.
Don't make it weird.
You're not doing it like this.
Yeah, he made it weird.
I called it out.
But he's young.
It doesn't matter.
It's annoying.
But you know what?
Shut your mouth.
He's a sweet boy.
Shut your fucking mouth.
We drove, we took an Uber down to Raleigh to go see Prof, this rapper who's the
shit.
So talented.
And he goes, yo, we're going to get on stage for the last song.
Get on stage.
And I go, I'm good.
I don't want to, you know what I mean?
I don't want to like take up space for someone's show.
Yeah.
McCone, on the other hand, I'll go on stage.
Can't fucking wait.
Annoying.
He's not even, he didn't ask him.
Annoying.
But I said, can the kid go on stage?
And Prof goes, yeah, it's all good.
And I was like, you fucking idiot.
I didn't ask him.
Yeah, yeah.
So there he is in a hockey jersey.
He's in a Minnesota wild jersey because he's from Minnesota as well.
Dancing.
Look at him dance.
He's jiving with everyone, having a good time.
And then of course, here we go.
When it hits, watch, that's McCone.
Watch McCone go off.
Ready?
And there he goes.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Amped.
Amped.
He's amped.
The kid had a great time.
He had a wonderful time.
One of many things we've done on the tour that are just so fun.
One last thing about McCone.
He doesn't deserve living this lifestyle.
Oh, that's for sure.
He sent me, remember he told me, well, back in the day, I went to go see Chappelle.
Right?
Did you show the video?
I don't, oh, yes.
Yeah, so he goes, I went to go see Chappelle.
And I go, okay, cool.
And he goes, he invited everyone out to this club.
So I went.
I was like, okay.
And he goes, look at this video.
It's basically McCone dancing, but he has the camera in Chappelle's face for
like 45 minutes.
Yeah, like as close as you guys are.
And at what point Chappelle's like, like, you know what I mean?
You can imagine McCone's just like, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Annoying.
He's an idiot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love them.