Name: Bobby's 10K Fine & A Crazy Night in Louisville | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-05-21T07:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's 10K Fine & A Crazy Night in Louisville | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's 10K Fine & A Crazy Night in Louisville | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-21. Transcript available.

If you show the inside of your asshole, it's a $10,000 fine.
Did you know that, Fancy?
Are you broke?
We had to beg.
Not only did he beg, but Andrew was wearing the shirt of a woman.
A woman.
I made Bobby take his shirt off and give it away one show.
Oh, my God.
His favorite shirt.
His favorite shirt.
He loves it.
I was in the worst mood after that.
I know.
Remember that?
And then a girl, a woman who is well endowed.
That's a nice way of saying it.
In her chest.
In her chest.
Thank you for the clarification.
Said, I want your shirt, Andrew.
And I said, well, get up here.
And I take off my shirt, only to be fair to Bobby.
And she goes, you got to wear my shit.
And I was like, your tits are way bigger than mine.
And she goes, too bad.
So I switched shirts, but it's a crop top, right?
So I'm wearing a crop top to end the show.
It fit you snug.
But it fits me super snug.
And then so the show ends.
I don't have a shirt.
We're backstage saying hi to some people.
The tour manager, Stacey, calls us into the office, like the principal's office.
Oh, my God.
And Bobby and I, like children, with our tails tucked between our legs, go to
apologize.
I didn't know what I did at that point.
Bobby is begging for forgiveness for showing the inside of his asshole.
I'm wearing a woman's crop top glitter t-shirt.
With a turtleneck.
With a turtleneck.
Tight, tight, tight.
So, this guy.
And I go to the guy, the manager or whatever, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I go, I didn't know that you couldn't show the inside of your asshole.
And he looks at me and he goes, you knew.
Okay, I did know.
And he goes, you go, I didn't, I thought you said don't show penis.
I didn't know penis and butthole were the same thing.
And he goes, they're the same thing.
And then we all wanted to make a joke so bad.
So bad.
Well, because fundamentally, no, they're not.
They're not the same.
They're absolutely not the same.
A penis and a butthole are not the same thing.
One of them poops and the other one is your butthole.
Okay?
Yeah.
It was so obviously that this is not the same thing.
And when he said that, all of us looked around like, don't say it.
Don't do it.
$10,000.
We had to beg this guy.
And thank you to him, by the way.
Thank you.
Because he was like, I'm going to clip you guys $10,000.
And we were like, please, please don't do that.
Because we're going to do this a lot more on the door.
Also, ass is okay.
The whole $10,000.
$10,000.
That's insane to me.
That's more than any prostitute.
Bobby goes, I don't understand.
I've been completely naked climbing up walls in comedy clubs across the country.
This has never happened to me.
Did I say that?
Yeah.
We did the math backstage.
You would be the most expensive escort in Atlanta.
$10,000 for you.
Just to show your butthole.
But it's not even my fault.
It's your fault.
Yes, it was.
Yes, it was.
You tell people to show.
Bobby's going to show the butthole.
I don't say it that way.
Everyone goes, yay, I do it.
$10,000.
This is how I do it.
I say, you guys love Bobby.
Yeah.
You love Bobby's butt.
Yeah.
You want to see it.
Yeah.
You want to really see it.
Yeah.
Bob, give them what they want.
And you don't have to spread it, but you do.
You spread it.
Let me ask you, as a comedian, though.
No, don't.
Of course the butthole's funnier.
You show the hole.
You have to show the hole.
The hole's funny.
Yeah.
Chuckle.
Chuckle.
You wore underwear with your butthole imprinted on it.
Is that okay?
I've never thought of that.
This is very smart.
That's okay, right?
We could do that.
Yeah.
We could do that.
You could sell those.
Yeah, yeah.
I bet everyone would want to wear your butthole.
And then we had a fun night.
Let me talk about one more night before we get into anything else.
We had a wild night in Louisville.
Louisville, Kentucky.
Oh, my God.
What happened?
There was no food.
Right?
Yeah, yeah.
So we go traipsing around trying to find something.
There was one place.
Well, hold on.
We're going to get there.
I don't remember.
We go to TGI Fridays.
Oh, yeah.
I remember.
I remember.
I remember.
We've never.
None of us have.
I've never been to a TGI Friday.
I've been to a Chili's.
I've never been to one either.
I've never been to one.
I've been.
Yeah, we know.
We know.
We know Chandler, Arizona or whatever.
Yeah.
I remember.
So Bob and I said, well, it's the only thing open.
I've actually never been to one.
I've been to two.
So how do I order?
Wait, wait, wait.
Also, it's Carlos's birthday.
Yeah, Carlos's birthday.
Also, when I order, how do I order?
This is how Bobby orders.
Hi, how are you?
Oh, good.
So on the appetizer front, for the table, we'll take everything you guys have.
You know Mickey Mouse in what's Fantasia?
Yeah.
When he's waving the magic wand and everything comes to life.
That's how Bobby orders.
He 100% without any semblance of exaggeration, whether it's a steakhouse or TGI
Fridays.
Why do I do that?
Because this is your drug and you can't use drugs anymore.
That's not why.
That's what you said.
That's what you said.
I know that's what I said, but that's not why.
You said, I'm a drug addict and I can't use drugs.
That's not why.
That's not why.
That's not why.
That's what you said.
No, no.
I'll tell you why.
Why?
Because I've never been there before, so some of it's not good.
You got to try all.
True, true.
So if you get six of them, if four of them are bad, you leave the four, you eat
the two.
Right.
Right.
So that's why I do it.
The odds of getting a good appetizer versus a bad one, it's kind of like what
we showed
our Down syndrome mods before.
It's one in, you know, it's one in a couple thousand.
One in 700 appetizers might not be good.
Stop it.
But not at TGI Fridays.
So TGI Fridays, we order, Bobby orders dumplings, crazy.
I like the dumplings.
You order the dumplings.
Gross.
I didn't want them.
Chips and salsa, chips and guac.
French fries.
French fries, mozzarella sticks.
No, pretzel sticks.
Pretzel bread.
Anyway, 15 things before we even get to the meal.
Yeah.
The young woman that's working there, and this is no shit on anybody that's
working there.
They were all very nice and polite.
They bring the chips over.
We start to snack.
The chips are right next to me.
Now I hear.
And it's not me farting.
And I thought it was him farting.
It wasn't me farting.
Yeah.
And I hear.
And I, you look at me and I slowly go, yeah, I hear it too.
I go, am I crazy?
I looked at your hands because I go, are you moving something on the table?
And you go, what is that?
And I go, what the fuck?
I lift up the chip basket and underneath the chips is a huge living fly.
It was this.
I'm not kidding.
It was fucking huge.
Yeah.
And it was on its side going, kill me, kill me.
No, it was basically, I ate some of the chips, right?
I'm taking a nap.
You know what I mean?
I'm supposed to be in the guacamole.
Yeah.
So we immediately go, oh, fuck this shit.
I'm not eating.
This is insane.
It just turns off every meal.
Oh, come on.
I don't want to eat.
I go, we got to get out of here.
This is, I'm not, if that's there, if that's in the chips.
What's in the food?
What's in the burger?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's, you don't even see what goes in there.
Yeah.
So we say to the woman politely, I think we're going to pay for what we've got
and then leave.
And she was like, oh yeah.
And we were like, there's a fly here.
And we show them.
They see it.
And the manager too.
The manager sees it.
There's a fly.
He's like, all right, we'll pay up.
He made us pay.
Wait, we didn't just pay for the appetizers.
We paid for the meal we ordered.
The meal hasn't even come yet.
We paid for the whole fucking thing.
Bobby paid $126 for DJ Fridays.
Oh my God.
And we walked out.
So then we said, what's going to be open?
This is, okay, this is going to make me so mad.
Love it.
So nothing is open.
This is good.
This story.
I remember this story.
The cop, the cop, as we're walking south, we see that there's a McDonald's.
I said, let's go to McDonald's.
Oh, Bobby walks at the pace of an 84 year old with a walker without tennis
balls.
But you walk like you're a skiing.
I walk like a kid from, I walk like a guy with a destination.
I want to get there.
There's like a medal involved with you.
Yeah.
I mean, you're going to get the gold.
You know what I wanted?
Yeah.
Golden fucking arches.
Yeah.
But what happens?
I got to the window and the walk-up window was open.
And when I got there, he goes, we're closed.
I go, well, can I put an order right now?
And he goes, you got to do it right now.
And I go, you guys, you guys.
I'm yelling.
I'm calling you guys.
You guys, we got to order now.
We ran.
They started running.
And then the manager comes out and he goes, too late.
And close the window.
Yep.
And now I'm like, you fucking turtles.
If you could have just been a rabbit today.
That's not it.
But then I said, fuck it.
There's Taco Bell.
Let's just put something in our body because we hadn't eaten all day.
We walked to Taco Bell.
Drive-thru only.
The inside is closed.
And Bobby goes, no, fucking inside is closed.
Fuck this.
He throws a tantrum and walks away.
And I go, just wait.
We'll ask someone in a car to get us to pay for this.
No, I saw the guy.
Well, then the guy pulled out.
The guy pulled up after you freaked out.
As you were freaking out, there was a plane going over.
And I go, just wait.
Just wait.
And Jet Ski, like a child, mom and dad are fighting.
And she's just like, I don't know who to go with.
And I said, well, get out of here.
I'm going to wait to eat.
A guy pulls up.
No, you didn't.
You said, order something.
And I said, I will go with Bobby.
You'll go with Bobby.
Right.
Yeah.
Stupid girl.
Because, well, it ended up being fine.
So then, a guy pulls up in a scooter.
It was dying.
As it pulled up.
Polly would say, he's crusty, bro.
And I said, hey, man, I'd like to get something to eat.
Can I put my order with your order?
And he goes, uh, okay.
And I said, I'll just buy your taco.
I'll just buy your Taco Bell.
I was going to buy.
And he goes, I was fixing to order me about 20 tacos.
It was going to be six.
And I was like, you were going to order 20 tacos?
And he goes, yeah, I was fixing to get me about 20.
And I was like, order 20 fucking tacos.
He orders 20 tacos.
Me and Carlos get our two tacos or whatever.
We pull up to the window.
I pay.
At Taco Bell, by the way, 24 tacos, for those that want to know, $19.
I swear to God.
So I was like, okay, didn't break the bank.
So we pay, and we're walking back, and we're eating.
And Bobby and Jetsky walked away without having Taco Bell.
Instead, door dashed White Castle at four in the morning.
Yep.
And had some sliders.
Yeah.