Name: Great Athletes Eat Twinkies | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-06-10T07:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Great Athletes Eat Twinkies | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Great Athletes Eat Twinkies | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-10. Transcript available.

- I can do a lot of things you don't even know.
- Name them.
- Log, the log thing.
- Oh, you can log.
- You can log?
- No, no, the log, we're on the log and we're trying.
- Log rolling?
- Yeah, and we're on the lake and somebody flew over.
I can do that good.
And I've never done it, but I know I can do it well.
- Oh yeah, I believe it.
- Yeah.
- I've done it.
- You do?
- It's really hard.
- It's so hard to do.
- It's so fucking hard.
- Right.
Legolas.
- You think you can shoot both?
- Yes.
- I've never done a bow,
but I'm pretty sure I could hit,
not the center, but the actual circle.
- That, all right, all right, I'm pitching it.
Hey guys, do you like the show, Bad Friends?
Well, get ready to subscribe to the new show
called Better Than Me.
And it's Bobby Lee going out to find out
if he's better than other people who has also never done it.
- That's good.
- I like this, I like this.
We send you out in the world.
When you're on tour, you go out and you bow shoot,
bow hunt, bow whatever, against another random dude.
- Yeah, who doesn't do it anymore?
- He doesn't do it, yeah, yeah.
- I like it.
- We bring an expert in, he goes in
and he talks you both through it,
he shows it to you and then you compete.
- Done.
- I love it.
- Can I ask a question?
- Name them all.
By the way, I've done everything you're talking about,
I've done.
That was called my Travel Channel job.
Everything you've done, I've done.
By the way, I'm superior at bow hunting.
Superior.
Superior.
- Come on, man, you're an ax guy.
- You're not better than Rogan.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Can you pull it up real quick?
- So you do archery regularly?
- Yeah.
- So you, and then there's people who regularly do it
and you guys have a certain, you know, comfort with
like the whole, like the equipment and how to,
but if you were to grab, if you were to grab all your friends
who don't shoot regularly, like they don't practice regularly,
and you go try to do this, I'm 100% certain that of that group,
he would do the best of people that don't practice or if you were just like,
this is how you shoot it because his, he has really impressive,
I'm telling you, hand-eye coordination, like he has really good,
like anything like shooting, throwing a dart, throwing a ball,
hitting a baseball, all that stuff is what he actually excels in.
- I've seen him play pool, he can play pool.
- The look in your eyes.
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah, not bad.
- If he wasn't such a drunk, he'd probably be an amazing athlete.
- Why don't we play that part?
- Jesus Christ, you couldn't fucking edit it?
- By the way, you'd still be drunk and be a great athlete.
So many great athletes were drunks, or are drunks,
so I think you're still on par, baby.
- Bobby, what do you eat?
Like, what's your average day of food look like?
- It's bad.
Do you want this?
I brought this for you.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really bad.
- Fucking Twinkies are banana.
- Do you want Twinkies?
- I don't know if you want one, but I brought 'em for you.
- Buddy, I want a fucking Twinkie
more than I want a dick in my ass.
- I'll eat, like, I'll go to--
- Dude, Twinkies have a place in my heart.
- When I saw it, I thought of you.
I thought, I'm gonna give 'em a little gift.
I brought you a bucket of vodka,
and I thought, I wanna give 'em a little Twinkie.
- So let me, I wanna share something.
I wanna share something.
When I was in first grade, I had separation anxiety.
I couldn't be away from my parents,
and I had to look at life.
Oh, man, we might be finding my trauma right now.
I had to look at life as secret victories, secret treats, right?
Can I get through the first two periods,
and then get to snack, and then I get a Twinkie?
Can I get to lunch, and then I get a Twinkie?
And then if I can get through lunch,
I can get through the rest of the day.
I swear to God, we're figuring out my trauma.
- This is it.
The Twinkie, you got a little snack
if you made it through a certain amount of time.
- Yeah, that's how my, you got snack,
and then I had a Twinkie, and then I could sit back
and just have a Twinkie, and then,
and my parents always packed Twinkies.
My dad always put Twinkies in my lunchbox.
And then I was like, cool, man.
I get to, like, a little bit of reprise
from this whole fucking chaos of missing your parents
and not knowing anybody.
I got a moment where I could, like, be myself,
and, like, open up my lunchbox and have a Twinkie.
- Take a bite and let me see how you feel.
- And, oh, I'm like, I'm gonna get deeper right now.
- Okay, go.
- And if I felt strong, if I got through the day,
I'd save my Twinkie to give it to my dad.
When he picked me up, I'd go, like--
- Oh, my God.
- I'd go, hey, I need my Twinkie.
Like, I got through it.
And my dad would be like, oh, thanks, buddy,
and then we'd share my Twinkie in the car, ride home.
I don't normally treat myself to treats like this.
I'm trying to be a little healthier, but I'm really
looking forward to this banana with vanilla cream in it.
- This one's for your dad.
- We had a moment last night.
- Your dad was there?
- My dad cried hard. - Dude, it was beautiful.
His parents, it was so pretty.
- Leah Thompson came up to me and said,
"That movie is fantastic."
My dad was sobbing, crying.
And he goes, "Buddy, I underestimate what you do.
It was a great moment."
And then this is, this Twinkie's from my dad.
- Nothing like shoving something phallic in your mouth
and saying, "This one's from my dad."
Isn't that nice?
- My mom had a moment when she went on stage.
- That was incredible.
- So my mom, you know, was in Phoenix, Bert.
Oh, my God.
- Let him sit in it.
This one's for Papa.
- It's so good.
It always delivers.
- It's the best.
It's the best.
The fact that they teased us
that they were gonna take it away, remember that?
When they were like, "Mike, go away."
And they were like, "Just fucking with ya."
We're gonna keep it.
- Like the Mexican pizzas?
- Yeah, they were fucking with us.
They were just fucking with us.
- Those are so fucking good.
- That is, that delivers every time.
- Every time.
Twinkies don't miss.
- It's like a Pop-Tart.
- Ooh.
- They deliver a Dorito.
They deliver every time.
Very seldomly.
Hey man, shout out to these corporations
that make foods that give us cancer
because they deliver every time.
- Every time.
- Every time.
Ultimately, you jump into a bag of Lay's
or a bag of combos and go,
"Oh, these are off."
- No.
- Right?
They're always on.
- They're on.
- They're always on.
- And you know what's good about these foods?
You're never gonna have a bonding moment over broccoli.
It's never gonna happen.
- No, never.
- You need a little bit of cancer to go,
"Dad, this is for you and me."
- And those chemicals in it that make you,
that's bad, that makes it bad?
- I'm eating the other one, man.
I don't give a fuck.
- Thank you for those chemicals
'cause it makes it taste better.
- It tastes much better.
- We will give it.
So you're the cancerous?
- I'm never gonna--
- I don't know when this was made,
or shelved, or put in a fucking bag.
- Yeah.
- And it's so goddamn moist.
The Lord came inside this thing.
And it's so fucking good.
It's so fucking good.
- A little bit of Jesus jizz inside of there, baby.
- Dude, beer doesn't do what these guys do.
Beer, you ever get beer and you're like,
what, this tastes off.
Wine!
It can be corked.
- Oh yeah.
I have bad wine all the time.
- But a Twinkie?
- Does not miss.
- Does not miss.
- It does not miss.
- It never misses.
- It's never misses.
- It's never misses.
- Twinkie is like unprotected sex.
It's always good.
- Yeah.
Twinkie?
Twinkie's like what?
- What do you mean?
- You just said Twinkie's like unprotected sex.
It's always good.
Twinkies are like what?
- Oh, Twinkies are like shooting heroin.
- Movie theaters.
- Movie theaters, I mean.
- Twinkies are like movie theaters.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- They were gonna go away.
- Yeah.
I'm not good at these, man.
- Movie theaters are like movie theaters.
- Yeah, yeah.
- You forgot how good they were.
- You forgot how good they were.
- Like I never saw the riddle.
I don't know what riddles mean.
I don't know how to do puns.
- Just try, anything.
- Yeah, I don't even know.
So what, tell me again.
- Twinkie?
- A Twinkie is like an Asian guy.
- Yeah.
- What?
- Yeah, Twinkies are like an Asian guy
that grew up in America.
They're yellow on the outside, white on the inside.
- There it is.
- There it is.
- Wow.
- That's perfect.
- With a dinger.
- That's a really good.
- Fucking Big Bird comes in with a dinger.
- What's a dinger mean?
Is that good?
- Yeah, it's good.
- You hit a home run.
- You hit a home run.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You jacked it right out of the park.
- That's what Twinkies are like.
- I think a lot of people sleep on exactly how funny
you fucking are.
I think they go, like guys like me and you.
- Yeah.
- We get ridden off as these guys that are just crazy
on podcasts and we say wild shit and whatever.
Whatever it is.
You're fucking funny, dude.
- So funny, dude.
- I forgot how, sometimes people forget
how fucking funny you are.
- You're like a Twinkie.
- I don't think everyone's forgot.
- There are a lot of people.
- People forgot.
Who forgot?
- Bobby Leo.
- I forgot until right now.
And do we have more Twinkies?
- Yeah, yeah.
All I do is show up,
I do the best I can, I go home.
- That's not true.
- What do you mean?
- You're kind of phoning in a lot.
- More than not.
- More than not.