Name: 10 Korean Commandments | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-07-01T07:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '10 Korean Commandments | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '10 Korean Commandments | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-01. Transcript available.

No, but you are going to go, you are going to continue.
In fact, the 10 Korean commandments that he bestowed upon you,
one of them was to go get a medial task and that was to go get wax earplugs.
Number two, which you never completed, you know what number two was.
Number two was getting him a spit cup.
No, no, no, no, no.
That was, you know what, one of the, small talk.
I fucking hate it.
This is him.
How was your meal?
Who gives a fuck?
He did ask you some really, really fucking stupid, stupid questions.
And also, when I'm not looking at you, stop looking at me.
Look at what he's doing right now.
Yeah, I'm at dinner, right?
And I look over and McCone's just looking at me.
I fucking hate it.
It's fucking, you know what?
It's your fault too.
You give him caviar.
You gave him caviar.
I fucked it up.
I already know I fucked it up.
Thank you.
I gave him fucking AirPods.
AirPods.
I got him fucking caviar.
Caviar.
And then, yeah, I fucked you up, dude.
You should never be like this.
We did fuck you up and I'm sorry about it.
And I will say this.
It's been amazing having Rudy back in the studio.
Do we need her back ever again?
Yes.
I'm not sure.
Yes.
Okay, yes.
Yes.
Don't fucking wince at me, buddy.
Don't wince at me.
I asked you to maybe bring a story.
Bring a story, I said.
I told you all the stories on the last episode.
I'm out of fuel already.
What was the story from the last episode?
The shooting.
What shooting?
What shooting?
And what kind of gun is this?
Wait a minute.
What shooting story?
What are you talking about?
The guy that's threatening to shoot the school.
Oh, yeah.
Great story.
You brought trauma to the show.
Not like, hey, a cool thing happened to me.
There's not a story from your homeland that you can tell like a folklore.
Give us an old lore.
Yeah, an old wives' tale.
Give me a folklore.
Well.
Here we go.
Okay.
What about the island?
Isn't there an island in the Philippines?
There's so many islands.
What are you talking about?
Let me finish what I'm fucking saying.
Like this.
I like this.
There's 7,000 islands.
I know.
But isn't one of the islands with witches and stuff?
Gotta be.
It's not an island.
It's part of Cebu.
And Sikihore is the name.
Sikihore.
Hell, yeah.
That was one of my girlfriend's nicknames.
And she had lesions on her fucking snatch.
Sikihore.
It's like a three-hour drive from my home.
And then when you go there, they say there's a lot of witches.
And then that's where you get like people to heal you if you're sick or if you're
feeling like.
Wait.
Is that Kalilah?
That's a Sikihore witch?
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
By the way.
She just looks like a Sikihore.
Sikihore witch is a.
She's just smoking a blunt out of a coconut.
That's a dope rap name.
Yeah, yeah.
Sikihore witch in this motherfucker.
Yeah.
Look at her.
Well, I'm glad.
Thank you for the information about Sikihore witches.
There's more Sikihore witches.
Look at them.
Look at what's in her hand.
Probably Sikihore.
Tell us what that is on her hand.
Alcohol and beads.
Yeah.
Carlos knows all too well about alcohol and beads.
Yeah.
You know what?
You know what?
For punishment, Carlos, what I would like actually?
This is fun.
Here's a bit for the crowd.
And I'm dead serious about this.
Wait, punishment for what?
Huh?
Punishment for what?
Pick one.
You know what I mean?
At this point, pick one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can we just knock out two at once?
Uh, no.
No.
Okay.
I'm dead serious for the San Diego show.
Not kidding even a little bit.
When you get to San Diego.
Yeah.
When you're on the side stage.
Before we call you out to say hello.
Yeah.
I want you to put anal beads in your butt.
And on the live show, Bobby and I are going to rip them out.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Does that hurt?
I've never done it, Juicy.
We're going to make it hurt.
And I don't want bullshit marble anal beads.
I want sizable ones.
And the fun, the deeper it is, the funnier it is.
If it's one bead, it's not funny.
I'm not going to do one bead.
We got to hear 15.
So I have to, I have to like clean out my asshole first, right?
No.
No.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
But I'm dead serious.
If there's less than 10 beads in there, fired.
I want the beads to be white.
No, no, no, no, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The beads have to be white.
We want to see the difference.
I'm just telling you, you better get to stuffing.
And I want, you should be at home practicing today.
Yeah, I was going to say I have to practice every time.
Yeah, I wouldn't do that for the first time, why?
What would happen if you put a firecracker in your anus and lit it on fire?
Let's try it with Carlos.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whatever it is.
Yeah.
Would you do that?
No.
Why?
That sounds dangerous.
Johnny Knoxville would do it.
Yeah, Johnny would do it.
Yeah, don't you want to be like Johnny Knoxville?
Don't you want to be Johnny Knoxville?
All right, fine.
I would probably do it.
Thatta boy.
McCone would do something like that.
McCone, we're going to light a firework in your asshole.
That's Korean.
Oh, he's down.
No, I think you would blow your asshole apart.
Well, let's do an M80.
Oh, my God.
What's an M80?
It's a thick, it's like a half a stick of dynamite.
We can Wiley Coyote it on the other side.
I think it's a quarter stick.
Yeah, it's a quarter stick.
That's what an M80 is.
So fun.
Dude, M80s are fucking brutal.
So fun.
Because they say if you hold an M80 and you light, your hand will blow up.
Yeah, of course.
What do you mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'll blow your hand right off.
Look at that thing.
Probably finding an asshole, though.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, those things are resilient.
What about a Roman candle?
And then he could shoot it out of his asshole.
That's what we should do at the amphitheater in San Diego.
It's Roman candles out of your butt.
Because that's not unsafe for the other side.
Let's 100% get those.
Please.
You can put one end in your butt, the other end shoots out.
You sure you don't want to go to San Diego?
It's obviously a fire hazard, but I would do it anyway.
No, we're outside.
You know, some states are lucky.
They sell fireworks.
California does not.
Yeah, it's illegal here.
It's illegal.
You can go to Nevada, right?
Doesn't Nevada have fireworks?
Yeah, but usually like in Compton
or something on 4th of July, you can get them.
Whoa.
What are you saying?
What are you saying?
What are you saying?
I've got them there on 4th of July.
That's why.
You go to Compton for fireworks?
I went to Drew League one year
and it was down there on 4th of July
and I grabbed fireworks from some black kids.
Whoa.
I paid the money.
Why did you have to put the last part in there?
Yeah.
Everyone that lives in Compton.
Yeah, why do you have to call them kids?
Yeah.
Well, not everyone lives in Compton,
but yeah, no, I just want to add more color to the story.
Can you imagine how hard they would roast him,
you know, when he goes down to Compton?
No, I feel like they would know him.
What do you think?
Carlos.
Oh, Carlos is here.
Yeah, anal bead Carlos is here, man.
Look at him, man.
No, I do head nods at people on Crenshaw.
ABC, anal bead Carlos.
There come ABC.
Oh, you do head nods?
I do head nods, yeah.
Yeah, let me see ahead nods.
So, him and I are MS-13.
Sure.
We're at a red light.
Right?
We're at a red light.
What's up, bro?
What's up, bro?
Yo, what up?
Well, I don't take it.
How do you feel about it?
I don't know.
I'm a little shaky.
I don't know.
Where are you from, dog?
Oh, I live in West Hollywood.
Are you gay?
No.
The uh.
Why the uh, dog?
No, you know, because sometimes you don't ever know.
No, we don't know.
No, we don't know.
Got you.
No, I think gangsters, they like me.
Yeah, I think gangsters like me.
Who, me?
I'm pretty sure gangsters like me.
I want to see, let me see if my what up's good.
You guys are a hardcore gang.
You too.
Yeah.
Oh, wait, don't let me hang on.
Yeah, you are.
What?
Oh, you look nervous.
That didn't work.
No, because they were confused.
That's what happens if they try to confuse you.
You're going to say something to me.
You're the gang.
No, we don't.
We're the gang.
You're supposed to say it.
No, because we said.
Stay in character.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
What's up?
What up?
I just asked you what's up.
How's my what up?
Okay.
Oh, sorry.
Who's this?
You have a gun?
No, it's just my fingers.
I'm just pointing at him.
Oh, it is.
Bruh, bruh, you mute?
Bruh, bruh.
Bruh, bruh.
Bruh, you mute?
She asked you a question.
You just went to mind school, dog.
There he is.
That's pretty good, actually.
So should we stab these guys?
All right, everybody.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for being a bad friend.
Bad friend.