Name: Back in School | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-07-12T07:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Back in School | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Back in School | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-12. Transcript available.

welcome to another another mama welcome listen listen i have a question yeah
please so i i you
know whatever i i'm i didn't grow up around trees a lot of woods right so let
me ask you a question
dude all right you know you watch a movie when somebody gets like knocked out
and then they end
up in a warehouse or in the middle of the woods they're tied what is the first
thing they say
when they wake up hello why do they ask that hello yeah they go hello didn't we
talk about that
already we did yes a full episode on hello you want to start again yeah let me
start go ahead
start again are you like me when you listen to a song like lionel richie or adele
and they say hello
and they say hello do you say hello back i always do hello i always go hello
hello anyway that's all
i want to start off that way and we've never talked about that before
yeah and you know what lionel richie man lionel richie yeah lionel richie what
did he do
his face is out of control why it's just so lionel richie-ish all right it's
uniquely here it's just
like so and also he's like he's got the fucking cosmetics to surgery so now he's
looking like
a black benedict cumber patch cumber patch yeah why does benedict cumber patch
look like he had
facial plastic surgery all the time he did he was in a tragic accident when he
was seven years old
dr strange he did yeah he was in the car accident they had to fix him yeah you
remember i do here we
are on quinnipiac university home of men's ncaa division one hockey
championships this year they
beat minnesota uh they sure did beat minnesota the long time uh most winningest
hockey championship
are of course uh michigan i don't like the sport i don't care about the college
sport of course denver
and michigan hold the reigning uh nine titles a piece i believe uh and quinnipiac
university men's
ncaa division one hockey champs of this year and they've hosted us at their
college thanks to fancy b
thank you fancy b for having us thank you thank you we are in the midst of a
wooded area that we drove
through today in connecticut yeah it's called the sleeping giant hill woods
sleeping giant state park
you think your people live in the forest no but if you were lost in the forest
i'd be like if i
saw a naked bobby lee there peek around a fucking oak tree yeah you'd be like
right you'd be like
fuck he lives here yeah is that the language you speak
somebody said that we seem like we have our own language do you think we could
communicate without
using english let's try oh oh yeah yeah ready ready i'm gonna so we're in an
elevator i got i need to
know the environment yeah hi job interview i'm interviewing you yeah and i'm
and and i'll tell
you what the factory it's a factory yeah for what felt oh felt factory for muppets
and stuff oh okay
yeah for puppets for puppets and stuff puppets and muppets yeah but we're in um
an island off of the
off of thailand off the coast of tunisia gonk oh gonk island yeah gonk island
got it right
who's interviewing i replace the n with another o right that's how crafty i am
i like it but if
you put the o in the place of the n it'll sound something different what is it
exactly so a different felt factory ready
hmm but i can't see i like up to what double so the bad about popup by the canina
bala
but i can't smell mom from pino so papino but yeah but yeah but yeah but yeah
but yeah but yeah but i'm not a
what happened in that yeah you said hi i'm here to interview for the job and
you said do you have any
experience and you said yes i have tons of experience with mother
and you said do you finger the muppets and then you acted out a whole fingering
of the muppets and that's exactly what it was and then when i brought it to you
what what were you thinking and you were like who's that and you're like i don't
know and i'm also thinking i don't know who i am in this sketch either i was
never introduced
i did a swipe so what was the swipe about um i would swipe off of her on tinder
i don't know which way exactly you would say no i said no deny deny she looks
hard r-worded yeah slow she's very slow and we made fun of your breasts and my
breasts are funny oh that's not i didn't that's not
i thought you're saying they're really fun yeah that's what i mean no i thought
this meant like jacket
like jacket jacket oh no it was boobs oh it was yeah well in our language it's
either boobs or poncho
yeah yeah poncho poncho poncho poncho oh that's what it was yeah yeah so let me
ask yeah did he get the job
he owns a factory oh my bad wait you just gave it to me like that i was ceo i
don't ceo and i was like no he's better he's gotta have it yeah and i you and i
right we die we die dude that makes sense who dies first she dies dude in any
scenario she dies first
i jump to catch a bullet but it goes through me and kills him anyway yeah we'll
go right through yeah
yeah no you're going to the gym a lot lately so you might be tough that muscle
might be thick
i just started going to the gym but thank you let me see your muscle show me
your arm my arm muscle
look at that thing something in there jacked we're all going to the gym i think
you should join you said
you were going to start doing it i'd love to let me ask you another question
may i ask you a question
i'd love to i'd love to a diversion diversion i'd love to let me ask you
something if we were in a
war right i got shot and the bullet went through my body and hit you would you
die too or would the
bullet be not as potent i think you have enough padding to slow it down
oh yeah okay i think if it went through me just say fat just say fat i know i
said padding
i think you went through me it'd kill you immediately if it went through me
right but
you've got way more cushion for the pushing would you think you would live and
i would die
uh if the bullet went through you and hit me no yeah through you oh if it went
through me i'd
hit me you'd i would die and you'd be severely uh impaired right i feel like it
would bounce off my
body though no gonna go right through that thing okay it's soft right like it
looks like it's a tough
exterior but then you can get through it real easy like play-doh yeah would you
rather get shot or
gonna have to do the machete uh shot immediately kill me immediately you want
to get stabbed slowly i
want i like the drama and i like i want to show my acting chops you're not you're
not gonna be acting
you're gonna be that's gonna be reeling yeah it's method acting oh that's deep
yeah so you're gonna
slowly die yeah i i probably need a couple of takes i would need a couple of
takes yeah yeah i just thought
about that yeah and slice me again i would say do it again because i wasn't in
the moment go ahead
i'm bleeding now i have to fart hold on let me make you mad no i have egg farts
today i know sorry
that's a good defense though if you're getting hacked up farting yeah yeah like
squids squids put out that
black yeah that's that's yours i do i do korean farts yellow fog yellow fog fog
just wow and all the
look at this person going for a run in the into the hidden forest and look at
those shorts he's wearing
good luck though you go out there you go out there to where the sleeping giant
is dude let me just say
something right now you white people you guys really do live this life i just
saw it what do you mean
taking a run no yeah but no he doesn't give a i'm gonna wear these shorts i'm
free that's a girl in the
woods it is yeah i wasn't gonna say it's a lady yeah it's a lady she's hot what
do you mean white
people live this life what's this life taking a run going for a run it's not
just that look at the
trees right it's you're frolicking that's not even fucking what running that's
frolicking
you never that's a skip no we don't do that man what what do you yes you do
what do you mean you
think asians don't go for you think when we're on a rickshaw we frolic no we
run skip no we don't
skip you never skip dude as a as a rickshaw runner i'm gonna try to get as fast
as you can to your
destination so i can make more money more tips yeah if i get fast i brought you
the shanghai hyatt
right i'm staying at the hyatt oh yeah four seasons thank you shanghai four
seasons yeah yeah
i'll go hey buddy get on and i'll go hey man you did a great job yeah it was 20.
yeah and i'll get
you to you'd get me to my destination yeah yeah i think you'd do a great job
but i do think you could
live this life i know you say that but you could live this life with the white
people i think you could
you do you've grown up amongst whites you you act like you're just i'm white
adjacent no i think you're
white in you're in white you know dude i feel white you're off white you're virgil
abloh's off white
because you know you're egg white you're egg white no no he's the yolk i'm the
yolk yeah i'm done i'm
the egg white in the in the breakfast sandwich of bad friends i'm the egg white
he's the yolk
you're the english muffin