Name: The Name's Devine...Adam Devine | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-07-26T19:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Name's Devine...Adam Devine | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Name's Devine...Adam Devine | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-26. Transcript available.

you've gotten better with texting you really are you're learning to respond
better you're learning
to uh not just fucking thumbs up a thing you actually will say something back
so i'm proud
of you i really am i called you today sometimes you answer the phone in a panic
which i don't like
you go whoa whoa whoa because every time people call me i feel like it's
something happened but
it's not like it's a devastating call i feel like you guys work together i feel
like you should
probably expect some phone calls like if i called you out of the blue right
someone died
i know right right right blake let me tell you something and i have to be the
one to call you
that guy that was on your podcast once that you couldn't hardly remember his
name died we gave you
clues he was a good guy anyways yeah i have a list yeah i'm on the b's if
anybody you know you and i
know dies i promise i'll text you i won't call really yeah like i'll go carlos
died
i'll text you no no don't text me that well when we have a code word i'll go
carlos gone
or i'll do carlos with the crossbone the emotion no no no no what i no let's be
real let's be real
for a second okay if if and when if the devil with the frowny face no the smiley
one for him
yeah you're like his horny what let's come up with a word where i know i have
to call you because
it's something there's a death because you're serious yeah so like something
like you know pineapple
or something something well that none of that's that's that's to like swing
yeah that's swingers
we talked oh that's a oh that okay um eggplant no that's for that's that's for
that's penis that's
penis okay um maybe some sort of how about how about thumbs down emoji no that
could be anything
yeah what about just three x's yeah x x triple x triple all right so three i
don't think i want to
watch the movie triple x yeah so three x's then i'll know someone died and i'll
call because i don't
want death related in a fucking text how about like this we'll use like beeper
code remember beeper
code you know what i mean like 9-1-1 means means you need to call me
immediately yeah okay what was
9-1-1 like 4-1-1 means i've got something to tell you but 9-1-1 is death 9-1-1
will say is death
if i okay so now i feel this just needs to be a phone call right i know no
because he'll never
fucking answer i won't pick up the phone that's why if he texts me then i'll
call him even if he calls
you multiple because no one answers right away hardly yeah you know so my
friend my friend i could
call him six times in a row it wouldn't matter fucking matter oh but i see all
your calls i'm
playing yeah i'm playing elden ring and i'm going i'm in the middle of this
like we were supposed to
leave we were gonna leave we were leaving orlando and i was like you know where
is the guy and then
i have i go down to the front desk i call he doesn't answer oh you pissed me
off so bad walk
upstairs i knock on the door he goes i know i know already fucking a half hour
late but you know
what you said that pissed me off that morning though what did i say that
fucking made you mad
when you were a half hour late we're sitting in the car waiting for you you
know it's funny when
you've your little drug hyena laugh your little frenzied your little frenzied
laugh right i like i
haven't you have another thing coming all right okay go ahead nothing i have
nothing but my saying
have you guys ever fought him and i we've had some we've had some moments on
tour oh shit okay yeah
we've yeah we hit a big hiccup on the road the tension we hit a hiccup on the
road but no fight
but it could could come to it yeah yeah it could come to blow i love him all
right that's not like
a real fight it's playful yeah so then you kiss and make up do it come here and
give him a kiss and
make up what make up give him a kiss just kiss your friend dude your guest
wants a kiss you're not
gonna kiss for your guest i feel like that's your homie for kiss your home dog
for for for for good
measure yeah see thank you was that that hard that was nice yeah it was nice
beautiful that was a
beautiful moment dude his face your friend he's so grossed out he literally was
like i gotta get
back yeah i gotta get out of ellen i'll tell you why you're watching everyone
in hollywood is gay
he just unzips his pan what you said to me that morning what i say see your
attitude now i don't get it
out you said this happens all the time it does it doesn't carlos multiple times
you're fucking late
that was the second time it during the tour that i was i got up late second
time same thing happened
in new york you were late to go when we were going to the fucking the meeting
set you were late or the
pod you were late for that no five months ago you're bringing that up it stays
it all stays
out of the millions of fucking mornings you put you you two two incidences
three all right and then
you put it in the text don't do it i'm gonna fucking do it more now don't tell
me what to do
kid don't tell me what to do i'm older than you don't call me kid not but not
in social standards
you're not in chronological age you're older but not in social standards
socially you're way
fucking younger than me you're a child compared to me so i haven't seen this
podcast all that much
this is the premise right
you guys are bad friends is that the uh no it's just like i i you know you just
you know it makes
me mad yeah you make me fucking mad about what i'm so good no you're not i'm
the best no you're not
i like you i don't bother me listen just don't do tone when you in the morning
just oh and then the
other other morning you knocked on my door and you're just waiting there in the
hallway yeah you're
late you're a half because you that night why are you late the night before he
should be leaving at
2 p.m. no no no what a reasonable hour to leave no it is bobby like as the
sober one
thank you you should be a little on time yeah fuck you he's saying no no no no
no you know what my
friend there's not a whole lot of other excuses i'm proud of you yes adam that's
full but right now
you're crossing a fucking liner okay no you're not with your china eyes okay
okay back up china
eyes okay so what i'm going to say to you right now is zip your lip i'm a fan
okay hey don't say
don't say zipp don't say zipp don't say zipp don't say zipp don't say zipp all
right crows your rip
crows your rip yeah yeah so you that night at the bar you go you know we don't
take off into 4 30
so we can leave at 2 30 you said no i said when you were drunk why were we all
in the car too then
and i wasn't say that he did say that i don't remember that i really yeah
because you're drunk
you're drunk frenzy i wasn't drunk i was it was i drunk that night i wasn't not
only was i not
drinking beer i woke up i had a beer i had a beer i'm not drunk at a beer i
woke up i went to the
fucking gym i went swimming i went for a long walk and then still jerked off
took a shit did some
fucking work took a shower got ready packed up the fucking car and then at 2 p.m
you weren't there
because i got up at 2 because i thought 2 30. fuck off let's move on adam yeah
adam thanks for
coming on the show outlaws outlaws is out right now
outlaws is good let me say this recanting all the fun that we've just had july
7th me and this guy
couldn't it couldn't be closer now it sounds like it yeah but because i love
you so much and we've
been having fun a lot of fun and all the fucking all the shit aside july 7th
outlaws is going to be
out and if you don't go watch it you know what's going to happen adam tell them
dude we won't we
won't be friends anymore wait you and i won't be friends if people don't go see
that's a dark
twist this is the only one you're using as a promoter yeah i feel like i don't
know if you should do just this one
this is it
excommunicado yeah yeah okay it's gonna be on theaters
no dude i mean just watch the goddamn trailer yeah dude where's it streaming
where
it's netflix great it's not streaming dude you just have to buy it there's guys
there's guys in in washington square park selling it yeah reel to reel you
gotta buy a reel to reel
uh no it's on i don't want to confuse people it's on netflix yeah yeah my
favorite corporate overlord
god bless and uh not paramount plus it's netflix that's netflix baby favorite
go on netflix and
you got to watch it not netflix it'll be uh watch the trailer yeah i think you
guys would like to
i've seen it i already saw when you sent when you sent me the link uh or i mean
you sent me the flyer
i watched the trailer already also the trailer was being pushed around the
internet a lot i saw it
multiple times come up on my page it was success and i gotta tell you man he is
so hot yeah he pierces so hot it's like annoying you're like he's also so cool
and he like we we
were like yeah we think your irish accent is cool just just do that and it's
the best how old is he
how old is pierce probably it's like 65 something like that you know how hot he
is still it's like a
little annoying to be honest with you yeah and uh 70 yeah he's 70. look at
great he uh he doesn't work
out i'm like how do you and he's like i don't i i just don't work out i'm like
well do you like
surf or something like how do you stay so lean and he's like i just i don't
know i just so here's
my problem with this because you're proving a point that i had a couple days
ago in my mind
you know have we been visited by aliens yeah did they stay i think so yeah and
who are they
pierce prostit yeah i so i've worked with a lot of aliens i tend to work with
like really really hot
boys you like aliens either zach efron f is let me tell you something i just
worked with them he's
an alien yeah without a doubt 100 uh he used to go in the bay before we'd leave
he'd go down into the
into the basement of the house and i would just hear humming and like little tinging
noises and then
he'd come out and he'd go all done and then we'd leave and i wouldn't ask what
it is but yeah look
look look no look me holy shit wow pierce pierce pierce pierce say something
here hello oh bobby
oh my god you almost had me fooled thank you hello can you do a good british
accent or is it
offensive i'm pierce bronson yeah pierce bronson hello hello hello no no no
this is pierce bronson
what's his name your pierce bronson's name pierce bronson is you what's his
name is brosnan brosnan
bronson yeah exactly same thing hello i'm pierce bronson that's right thank you
pierce where are
you from 007 you're from 007 that's what i played sure warned james bond whoa
hello so pierce can i ask
you a couple of questions cheerio you like cheerios no just what's your
favorite uh dry cereal
cheerio oh man easy opportunity to say checks or anything else really missing a
comedy loop there
no no no because i went i went you know i yes and it that's yeah i just yes and
it
you know yeah yeah yeah directly i went direct yeah dude yeah anyway a lot of
comedy is a b
you just went a b right to c i know so anyway you know similar in many ways i
gotta say the
more i think about it the more i do think you share a lot do this you do this
see what it looks good
yeah it doesn't look good yeah i think it looks like you have a headache i do
have a headache right
now let me oh my god oh my god that's fucking oh my god that's the shit dude
you look like you're so
good at that you look like you know what you're like hold that pose you know
you look like a guy at
the beach who forgot his sunglasses yeah who has a like an ocular migraine who's
pretending like it's
not bothering him so much but you're like it i'm not gonna i'm she look
miserable because your wife
was like just bring your shades like i don't need my shades it's over cat and
you're doing this all
well you look like one of those uh engineers at chernobyl you up yeah and you're
just like
but like we're gonna die but like hot though what but like hot though yeah of
course yeah yeah of
course what do you mean a hot engineer yeah like yeah yeah all right they're
not all ugly yeah thanks
bob yeah all right there's got a cutie there could be a cutie in there i don't
know i don't know what
they look like you got it man what do you mean yeah there could be engineers at
the fucking thing
hottest they fucked up let's do hottest nasa engineer hottest nasa engineer let's
see if they're you know
there's uh some because there's there's been a lot through the years so there's
some hotties for sure
okay oh the hottest lady astronauts go back go back go back what are you doing
hold on the hottest
lady it was too sexy it broke the internet all right judith resnick would you
uh what i want
go to space with her yeah that's trevor trevor wallace's mom no trevor resnick
is that the
nine-inch nails guy trevor resnick ah man trevor resnick trevor resnick

The Name's Devine...Adam Devine | Bad Friends Clips

you've gotten better with texting you really are you're learning to respond
better you're learning
to uh not just fucking thumbs up a thing you actually will say something back
so i'm proud
of you i really am i called you today sometimes you answer the phone in a panic
which i don't like
you go whoa whoa whoa because every time people call me i feel like it's
something happened but
it's not like it's a devastating call i feel like you guys work together i feel
like you should
probably expect some phone calls like if i called you out of the blue right
someone died
i know right right right blake let me tell you something and i have to be the
one to call you
that guy that was on your podcast once that you couldn't hardly remember his
name died we gave you
clues he was a good guy anyways yeah i have a list yeah i'm on the b's if
anybody you know you and i
know dies i promise i'll text you i won't call really yeah like i'll go carlos
died
i'll text you no no don't text me that well when we have a code word i'll go
carlos gone
or i'll do carlos with the crossbone the emotion no no no no what i no let's be
real let's be real
for a second okay if if and when if the devil with the frowny face no the smiley
one for him
yeah you're like his horny what let's come up with a word where i know i have
to call you because
it's something there's a death because you're serious yeah so like something
like you know pineapple
or something something well that none of that's that's that's to like swing
yeah that's swingers
we talked oh that's a oh that okay um eggplant no that's for that's that's for
that's penis that's
penis okay um maybe some sort of how about how about thumbs down emoji no that
could be anything
yeah what about just three x's yeah x x triple x triple all right so three i
don't think i want to
watch the movie triple x yeah so three x's then i'll know someone died and i'll
call because i don't
want death related in a fucking text how about like this we'll use like beeper
code remember beeper
code you know what i mean like 9-1-1 means means you need to call me
immediately yeah okay what was
9-1-1 like 4-1-1 means i've got something to tell you but 9-1-1 is death 9-1-1
will say is death
if i okay so now i feel this just needs to be a phone call right i know no
because he'll never
fucking answer i won't pick up the phone that's why if he texts me then i'll
call him even if he calls
you multiple because no one answers right away hardly yeah you know so my
friend my friend i could
call him six times in a row it wouldn't matter fucking matter oh but i see all
your calls i'm
playing yeah i'm playing elden ring and i'm going i'm in the middle of this
like we were supposed to
leave we were gonna leave we were leaving orlando and i was like you know where
is the guy and then
i have i go down to the front desk i call he doesn't answer oh you pissed me
off so bad walk
upstairs i knock on the door he goes i know i know already fucking a half hour
late but you know
what you said that pissed me off that morning though what did i say that
fucking made you mad
when you were a half hour late we're sitting in the car waiting for you you
know it's funny when
you've your little drug hyena laugh your little frenzied your little frenzied
laugh right i like i
haven't you have another thing coming all right okay go ahead nothing i have
nothing but my saying
have you guys ever fought him and i we've had some we've had some moments on
tour oh shit okay yeah
we've yeah we hit a big hiccup on the road the tension we hit a hiccup on the
road but no fight
but it could could come to it yeah yeah it could come to blow i love him all
right that's not like
a real fight it's playful yeah so then you kiss and make up do it come here and
give him a kiss and
make up what make up give him a kiss just kiss your friend dude your guest
wants a kiss you're not
gonna kiss for your guest i feel like that's your homie for kiss your home dog
for for for for good
measure yeah see thank you was that that hard that was nice yeah it was nice
beautiful that was a
beautiful moment dude his face your friend he's so grossed out he literally was
like i gotta get
back yeah i gotta get out of ellen i'll tell you why you're watching everyone
in hollywood is gay
he just unzips his pan what you said to me that morning what i say see your
attitude now i don't get it
out you said this happens all the time it does it doesn't carlos multiple times
you're fucking late
that was the second time it during the tour that i was i got up late second
time same thing happened
in new york you were late to go when we were going to the fucking the meeting
set you were late or the
pod you were late for that no five months ago you're bringing that up it stays
it all stays
out of the millions of fucking mornings you put you you two two incidences
three all right and then
you put it in the text don't do it i'm gonna fucking do it more now don't tell
me what to do
kid don't tell me what to do i'm older than you don't call me kid not but not
in social standards
you're not in chronological age you're older but not in social standards
socially you're way
fucking younger than me you're a child compared to me so i haven't seen this
podcast all that much
this is the premise right
you guys are bad friends is that the uh no it's just like i i you know you just
you know it makes
me mad yeah you make me fucking mad about what i'm so good no you're not i'm
the best no you're not
i like you i don't bother me listen just don't do tone when you in the morning
just oh and then the
other other morning you knocked on my door and you're just waiting there in the
hallway yeah you're
late you're a half because you that night why are you late the night before he
should be leaving at
2 p.m. no no no what a reasonable hour to leave no it is bobby like as the
sober one
thank you you should be a little on time yeah fuck you he's saying no no no no
no you know what my
friend there's not a whole lot of other excuses i'm proud of you yes adam that's
full but right now
you're crossing a fucking liner okay no you're not with your china eyes okay
okay back up china
eyes okay so what i'm going to say to you right now is zip your lip i'm a fan
okay hey don't say
don't say zipp don't say zipp don't say zipp don't say zipp don't say zipp all
right crows your rip
crows your rip yeah yeah so you that night at the bar you go you know we don't
take off into 4 30
so we can leave at 2 30 you said no i said when you were drunk why were we all
in the car too then
and i wasn't say that he did say that i don't remember that i really yeah
because you're drunk
you're drunk frenzy i wasn't drunk i was it was i drunk that night i wasn't not
only was i not
drinking beer i woke up i had a beer i had a beer i'm not drunk at a beer i
woke up i went to the
fucking gym i went swimming i went for a long walk and then still jerked off
took a shit did some
fucking work took a shower got ready packed up the fucking car and then at 2 p.m
you weren't there
because i got up at 2 because i thought 2 30. fuck off let's move on adam yeah
adam thanks for
coming on the show outlaws outlaws is out right now
outlaws is good let me say this recanting all the fun that we've just had july
7th me and this guy
couldn't it couldn't be closer now it sounds like it yeah but because i love
you so much and we've
been having fun a lot of fun and all the fucking all the shit aside july 7th
outlaws is going to be
out and if you don't go watch it you know what's going to happen adam tell them
dude we won't we
won't be friends anymore wait you and i won't be friends if people don't go see
that's a dark
twist this is the only one you're using as a promoter yeah i feel like i don't
know if you should do just this one
this is it
excommunicado yeah yeah okay it's gonna be on theaters
no dude i mean just watch the goddamn trailer yeah dude where's it streaming
where
it's netflix great it's not streaming dude you just have to buy it there's guys
there's guys in in washington square park selling it yeah reel to reel you
gotta buy a reel to reel
uh no it's on i don't want to confuse people it's on netflix yeah yeah my
favorite corporate overlord
god bless and uh not paramount plus it's netflix that's netflix baby favorite
go on netflix and
you got to watch it not netflix it'll be uh watch the trailer yeah i think you
guys would like to
i've seen it i already saw when you sent when you sent me the link uh or i mean
you sent me the flyer
i watched the trailer already also the trailer was being pushed around the
internet a lot i saw it
multiple times come up on my page it was success and i gotta tell you man he is
so hot yeah he pierces so hot it's like annoying you're like he's also so cool
and he like we we
were like yeah we think your irish accent is cool just just do that and it's
the best how old is he
how old is pierce probably it's like 65 something like that you know how hot he
is still it's like a
little annoying to be honest with you yeah and uh 70 yeah he's 70. look at
great he uh he doesn't work
out i'm like how do you and he's like i don't i i just don't work out i'm like
well do you like
surf or something like how do you stay so lean and he's like i just i don't
know i just so here's
my problem with this because you're proving a point that i had a couple days
ago in my mind
you know have we been visited by aliens yeah did they stay i think so yeah and
who are they
pierce prostit yeah i so i've worked with a lot of aliens i tend to work with
like really really hot
boys you like aliens either zach efron f is let me tell you something i just
worked with them he's
an alien yeah without a doubt 100 uh he used to go in the bay before we'd leave
he'd go down into the
into the basement of the house and i would just hear humming and like little tinging
noises and then
he'd come out and he'd go all done and then we'd leave and i wouldn't ask what
it is but yeah look
look look no look me holy shit wow pierce pierce pierce pierce say something
here hello oh bobby
oh my god you almost had me fooled thank you hello can you do a good british
accent or is it
offensive i'm pierce bronson yeah pierce bronson hello hello hello no no no
this is pierce bronson
what's his name your pierce bronson's name pierce bronson is you what's his
name is brosnan brosnan
bronson yeah exactly same thing hello i'm pierce bronson that's right thank you
pierce where are
you from 007 you're from 007 that's what i played sure warned james bond whoa
hello so pierce can i ask
you a couple of questions cheerio you like cheerios no just what's your
favorite uh dry cereal
cheerio oh man easy opportunity to say checks or anything else really missing a
comedy loop there
no no no because i went i went you know i yes and it that's yeah i just yes and
it
you know yeah yeah yeah directly i went direct yeah dude yeah anyway a lot of
comedy is a b
you just went a b right to c i know so anyway you know similar in many ways i
gotta say the
more i think about it the more i do think you share a lot do this you do this
see what it looks good
yeah it doesn't look good yeah i think it looks like you have a headache i do
have a headache right
now let me oh my god oh my god that's fucking oh my god that's the shit dude
you look like you're so
good at that you look like you know what you're like hold that pose you know
you look like a guy at
the beach who forgot his sunglasses yeah who has a like an ocular migraine who's
pretending like it's
not bothering him so much but you're like it i'm not gonna i'm she look
miserable because your wife
was like just bring your shades like i don't need my shades it's over cat and
you're doing this all
well you look like one of those uh engineers at chernobyl you up yeah and you're
just like
but like we're gonna die but like hot though what but like hot though yeah of
course yeah yeah of
course what do you mean a hot engineer yeah like yeah yeah all right they're
