Name: Rick Glassman Bamboozles Andrew Santino! | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-08-01T19:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rick Glassman Bamboozles Andrew Santino! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rick Glassman Bamboozles Andrew Santino! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-01. Transcript available.

you guys can't count either huh no because when you're a jet you're a jet all
the way from your
first cigar to your last dying day you know in the korea you're born you're one
years old in korea
yeah it's kind of like how the 24th first century is the 2000s correct the 20th
century is the 19th
is that the right right when you're like nine months old when you're born
because you're in
the belly for nine months i think this makes the most sense okay thank you yeah
i created it but
when is the moment of when's the moment of uh well that's a great question and
now i want
to actually get into your feelings on abortions you're going to say the moment
of that the child
is yeah when does it count every person is one year old at birth adds another
year so no you're
turning one it's not it's not it's not about the body it's just like there is
no zero and i do think
that's really a good good lesson to learn there is no zero yeah i was never a
zero do you see this
trophy that he was given yeah it looks it look this trophy looks like a guy who's
kicking who just
isn't quite flexible enough well yeah it seems like a participation well this
was we gave this
to him for a kick in the habit when he got sober this was this is when he got
sober because and it
is kind of how long has it been now a year and a half year and a half or in korea
two and a
half years that's right that's you and i in an alternative universe the
internet keeps tagging us
wow yeah yeah we're the wish.com version of this yeah yeah this is we're the
wish.com with these
guys this is uh ryan gosgaz from the barbie premiere correct and he plays ken
one or one of
the kens i guess yeah i guess there's a lot of ken i read for that movie yeah
you think yeah they gave
a receptionist or something oh talking about it was like four lines i couldn't
get it what's this
gentleman's name again sing we will is it sing we will from ten rings marval
guy shang chi that's
not him my guy that's not his name oh that's not his name you're racist that's
not his name that's
the name of the yeah it's the it's the liu one it's something with lou yeah simu
simu simu yeah s-i-m-u
simu yeah yeah nice is that what you say to somebody when you're asking them to
quiet down
yeah simu simu simu down simu down simu down now simu down now which is also
what they
say if somebody's shooting shots at him simu down now well that took five
minutes off my night
when's the last time you got bamboozled who bamboozled you i'll tell you
something i don't
know i'll tell you something i know the first time i could remember being for
real bamboozled give it
i was 18. here we go oh you know me right doing my thing in new york right with
my first girl
girlfriend we take a trip we drove from cleveland to nantucket her aunt has a
house in nantucket yeah
she does you remember she's great there's a hole in my bucket dear liza nantucket
so we're doing our
thing hanging out now i'm on the street i don't really drink but at the time my
people were going
out to clubs and dancing and i loved that yeah and i didn't have a fake i i had
like my brother's old
friend's id doesn't look like me i was in the market for a fake id psych you
were bad boy so i'm on the
street doing my thing and a guy walks by he goes we track ids and i go yeah he
goes what do you want
uh fake id how much 50 bucks i only have a hundred dollar bill i gave him i
gave him the hundred keep it
he goes do you do you have 50 he goes yeah i'll be right back he was gonna go
he went to go get the
change and while he's getting the change and he's getting the change why would
he not be getting the
change he said he's getting the change i mean i'm giving him you know so i'm
sitting there for three
hours before it even registers i think i was bamboozled i it wasn't like i'm
like this guy probably
me i was just hey i'm waiting for my fake id for three hours bro the same exact
thing happened to me
it's not about that why i think i've told the story before the surfer i don't
know it
what the surfer and the frog isn't this an old korean folk tale
he who surfs with frog on wave yeah will end their beautiful glorious days not
alone sad or thick
something something eat frog's dick it's something about it it's an old korean
proverb yeah yeah
well there's nobler in the mind to suffer neither slings nor arrows for a lily
pad could jump but for
me i am barrow i am barren i am soul searched i am empty inside but my knees
may be weak my soul flies
high pride is nothing in a mind's eye when i look in the mirror if i see myself
as nothing more than
blurry or clear it's a situation for me to speak to a situation of love because
i can speak to god all
day but i'm the only one above what i can be you're not my competition but you
may be it's a sacrilegious
situation because the only thing i compete with is a former version of myself
the only thing you
compete with is your god heaven this is all written on his mirror i don't i've
seen it did you just make
that up yeah yeah that's insane i would never be able to do that that's one of
my things you should
check out the harry mack episode to take your shoes off how do you even do that
let me teach me
you can't yeah you can't i can can we spend the rest give me one give me one
line and maybe i can go
keep going all right but here's something that you're gonna i i'm judging you
on this and i might
be wrong but i'm gonna ask you a real question are you able to be present i'm
present right now okay
what is something that you're ashamed of i'm ashamed of my body how so body i
was doing the
thing that you were doing yeah he's about to start rolling what is it that you're
ashamed of the way
it's shaped yeah how is it shaped it's shaped like a bottle a bottle in the
ocean the ocean's filled with
water but the water is poison commotion lotion oh i like that i like that i
like that no no no that's
great no you're saying you're saying your body is shaped in a way you don't
like but even worse
than that inside of you is poison that's what i said that's dark that's that's
beautiful thank you so
much does that have to rhyme that's right but it still did rhyme listen i know
you people can't drive
but i'll give you a poetic license yeah so one day i was living in draper
street in la jolla damn dog
is that what you had for lunch yeah and um i get a knock on my door the door
but you have to do the
sound effect yeah okay oh yeah yeah so why'd you open before you why would you
open it and then knock
yeah yeah you knock and then well he knocks on my face oh that's what the crazy
thing was that thing's
i opened the door and so what and ow ow and he was not my landlord was knocking
on my face holy
shit yeah it was crazy where i go don't punch me in the face dog right he's
like i'm sorry you open
the door you know what i mean you know me anyway what does this do with your
body what are we talking
about your body no i'm talking about the when i was bamboozled i wasn't there i
am
you thought i was doing another one of those fucking things another one you
never did one
to begin with and you were crying over the ocean the potion and the fucking
buddy poison that was
all right that wasn't honest but talk about your bamboozlement i guess i wonder
if any of those
guys in prison with the cats was one of our people maybe yeah why is it why let
me ask you something
why is it when you told your fucking thing buddy i'll tell you i didn't
interrupt i'll tell you the truth
yeah go ahead do you want to hear the truth yeah i maybe am at a point in the
day where a little bit
of silliness just kicked in um and yeah with that silliness kicking in yeah i
kind of zoomed in under
where we were and i wasn't able to see all the balls in the air right i forgot
about it okay and i
remember now and boy is my arm tired okay so i'm gonna put it down and please
tell us about the time
you were about booze right knock knock knock ow don't punch me in the face man
he's like sorry
but that's but that's i'm sorry i have a question yeah because that feels like
you're just saying that
because we called you out for the knocking and the door opening at the wrong
time because you weren't even
going to do sound effects so now you adding that beat to the story to play with
this and that's
where i'm out like i don't believe you real about it but i don't believe you
okay i'll be more real
yeah so he didn't knock on your face right no right so because like that's
already bamboozled now
you already got all right you know what now the audience got bamboozled do i
have to do sound
effects then you guys threw in a fucking yes knock knock knock right who's
there oh hey hey george that's my
landlord camel yeah no no no he was like an old man he goes there's a guy
outside to see you
i go i don't know i was 22 years old i was working on a coffee shop called the
panic and back then in
la jolla shot of panic so then i um i go outside and there's a fat man out
there and he has no shoes
i told you the story oh yeah i don't know i'm interested yeah i don't want to
say the same story
again on the fucking thing maybe this time tell it with some fucking sound
effects so people remember
yeah it'll sink in more yeah like me in this 900 chair yeah and that 900 shirt
well i that's an
1800 vibe over there well if i were naked do you have a bamboo you have a
bamboo that we have not
when i was bamboozled yeah when was i bamboozled you were never andrew why don't
you check your back
back pocket no problem you just got bamboozled