Name: Bobby Lee's A24 Audition... | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-08-05T19:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's A24 Audition... | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's A24 Audition... | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-05. Transcript available.

I saw a clip the other day that said Edward Norton said that he's never made a
dime doing
Wes Anderson movies. Never once. What are you talking about? You can Google it.
He said,
I think he's from Moonrise Kingdom. He made $4,200 total. Because if you look
at the Asteroid
City, you look at their past. Yeah, I know. Every single one of their cast is a
gigantic star who
usually gets millions for a part, right? And you look at Wes Anderson movies,
what it does in the
box office. I've seen all of them. Me too. But they're not like, you know what
I mean?
They're not money. They're not box office smashes. Yeah, they're not smashes.
So I 100% agree.
But that's crazy. The $4,200 for a whole film, for a guy like that.
That's like a Woody Allen movie in the past and all of that. Yeah.
Yeah. Now it would be a lot cheaper to do a Woody Allen movie. I bet he'd have
to pay you a lot of
money. Woody calls. Woody calls. Bobby, would you like to be in one of my films?
If I can play Sun Yi.
Only if I'm Sun Yi. You know what I mean? Your wife.
I don't feel that way about it. Yeah. It is an interesting question. It's like
I'm asking
you as an actor, right, too, you know, and you too, would you prefer to do a,
you know,
a critically acclaimed movie that's going to get awards, but you're only going
to make a
couple of thousand dollars or some trashy blockbuster thing where you make 5
million,
10 million and it doesn't get any awards or prestige.
See, it's hard for, that's hard for me because I don't care about the awards
and the prestige.
I just care that it's good. I want it. I wish it could be good.
Yeah.
But if you're telling me on the table is a fucking Marvel franchise that
everyone's
going to laugh at me for the rest of my fucking life.
Are they?
Well, let's not.
I don't think they will.
No, I'm saying in this scenario, let's just say it's a Marvel franchise and I'm
not taking
a shot.
It's okay.
But like Ant-Man is kind of a bummer for Paul Rudd is such a fucking cool dude.
And not that Ant-Man's bad.
Wasn't bad.
The last one was bad.
Yeah.
But I mean, the franchise in and of itself is kind of like, yeah.
Yeah.
Ah, yeah, yeah.
No one's making fun of fucking Paul Rudd because he's the shit.
He's the shit.
Okay.
But I'm saying, but doing like Ant-Man versus doing like everything everywhere
all at
once for like no money at all.
Literally like fucking not making any money.
Yeah, I, I, I probably fucking do Ant-Man.
Really?
Here's why.
Here's why.
I'll tell you why.
I know why.
Because a lot of, a lot of those actors that you read about that do those
beautiful indie
movies, they're fucking, they, they're broke and they don't get any more work.
And people are like, wait, didn't you make, didn't you?
And they're like, no, after I got off that movie, nobody gave me any fucking
money.
The point of what's going on in our fucking, in our business right now is
because nobody's
getting paid anymore.
Yeah.
And the fucking big cats up top are keeping all the money.
So yeah, I'm going to steal the fucking money from these scumbags because they're
robbing
us our whole career.
Also, I just did four independent comedy movies, right?
You made 30 bucks.
Not just the 30 bucks.
Yeah.
When you're shooting, you can feel it.
Yeah.
There's 15 guys in a little room, no air conditioning, right?
And you have fucking corn nuts as that's the only thing you get for your, your
craft service,
right?
Make no money.
You're there forever.
All day, all night.
And two years ago, I did Borderlands with all those stars, right?
I'm at the Four Seasons eating nice food.
The catering is amazing.
I mean, everything's amazing.
You feel right.
Like, oh my God, you know what I mean?
I'm a part of it.
Even if you're underpaid for that movie for Borderlands, it's still all the
perks are nice.
Okay.
So I'm 50, 50.
Cause I agree.
Sometimes like I did curb.
You don't make any money on curb.
It was a dream of mine.
So it's like, there's things that you want to do that are a dream, but I don't
want to
make a big career move for a dream because they're, who knows if it'll pay off.
But that's why actors do both.
Yeah.
If you're lucky enough.
If you're lucky.
That's my point.
Most people aren't lucky enough.
Tom Hanks can dip down and go, I'll do Asteroid City for nothing.
He's one of the only ones I can do that.
He's a billionaire.
Yeah.
He can do that when he's already like at the top.
It's like when we've talked about this, but like, it's like when Jim and Carrie
is like,
you know, everything is fake and money means nothing and life is fake.
And you're like, yeah, because you haven't been to the grocery store in 25
years.
No shit.
It's fake.
Go to, go to, I went to the hardware store today.
Yeah.
When you don't have to do those things, you lose reality fast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When you, I was on my roof today blowing off the fucking shit from my roof.
So I didn't ruin the, the roof.
Cause it stains from the tree.
I was up there and my neighbor was smoking pot and I'm that's me.
Yeah.
Jim Carrey's not on his roof blowing shit off.
I was at the coffee bean earlier, right?
I was sitting there waiting for my Vietnamese iced coffee and a guy came up to
me and he goes,
wait, no entourage.
I go, who the fuck do you think I am?
By the way, can we start bringing entourages somewhere?
Yeah, I will.
But like people that don't look like they should be our entourage.
No, I want to bring, I know exactly who my crew is.
You have Carlos.
No, I'm going to use Dan Ramos.
Yeah.
I don't know who that is.
You know Dan Ramos?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dan Ramos is a.
Dan Ramos?
Yeah.
He looks like a Filipino insect.
Dan Ramos comedy.
This dude is, looks like he hasn't taken a shower.
Oh, I know that guy.
Yeah, that guy.
I've seen him before.
The second photo over to the left, far left.
The second photo to all far left.
Far left.
Far left.
Down.
Second row.
There you go.
Down.
No, no, not that one.
The one right next to that one.
The obvious one that we want to see that's crazy.
Yeah, that one.
That's who he is.
I got to have him in my entourage.
Oh, yeah.
Who else do you need after that?
Because people walk away.
You say a Filipino insect.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Why?
No, it's accurate.
I don't even know what they look like, but I imagine it looks like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love the Filipinos.
Some, yeah.
All.
Some.
Except for him.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I love him, but I'm just saying.
But do you have an entourage in your mind?
Who would I bring along for the ride?
Well, I'm pretty sure there's a couple of shirt talkers.
Shirt talkers?
Okay.
What's that mean?
He means white people.
Shirt talkers?
Shirt talkers.
And I didn't mean white people.
Yeah, he does.
He's always derogatory toward the white community.
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
A shirt talker is not a derogatory.
You are.
And let me tell you something, brothers.
We can't let this guy keep talking to us like this.
I'm not saying that.
Next thing you know, he's going to want to cut off our kids' penises.
So let me tell you something, brothers.
Your friends, I've seen some of them have golf shirts on,
and they tuck it into their khaki pants.
Never in a million years.
You couldn't even name one.
Unless we were golfing.
Yeah.
When have you ever seen me golfing?
You've never seen me golfing.
I've seen you go in and out, like, from either after.
You've seen me go to the golf course.
Exactly.
Yeah.
In the attire, and then after the attire.
Sure, but no friends?
You've never, if you were golfing.
I've seen your friends.
I promise you I have.
Where?
Your cousin.
My cousin?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He sometimes wears that kind of clothes.
When we're golfing.
Yeah, I've never seen, he's been to three of our shows on tour,
I've never seen his shirt tucked in.
But never, because he does.
It's burned into my psyche, though.
No, it's not real.
You're making it up.
When we're golfing, you tuck your shirt in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When you're golfing.
I don't like it.
I know.
I get that.
You don't like order.
This guy never tucks his shirt in.
No.
He doesn't have a shirt.
He shouldn't be wearing a shirt.
In my entourage would probably be,
I keep looking at that picture of you as an Indian AI.
That guy.
I want that guy.
Honestly, I want Indian little people.
Indian little people.
Only Indian little people in my entourage.
Oh, you would seem wise.
Yes, a nobleman.
A nobleman.
Passing through gracefully, slowly.
Right.
And they're all, they for some reason have candles.
Of course they have two candles.
Yeah.
But one of them, only one of them's lit.
Oh, one of them's lit.
Right, so people question.
Yep.
Why is only one of them-
It's like a yin-yang thing.
I love that.
You like yin-yang?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you more yin or yang?
I'm yang.
I'm more young too.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're way outside.
Yeah, we're outside the whole-
By the way, have you guys seen Indian slap boxing?
No.
Oh my God.
Really?
I've seen the slap being-
No, no, no.
No, no.
Indian slap boxing is all over the internet again.
Look at this.
Thank you.
This is amazing.
Go to the first one.
Look at this shit.
This is so fucking wonderful.
This makes me want to go to India.
Look at these.
Look at these.
So what's happened is they're politely battling.
Slap, slap, slap.
Oh, it's great.
So if you make a fist, they're out.
You can't punch.
It's slapping.
And it's in the sand.
Look at the beautiful sand.
And there's one guy just chilling in the ring.
He's meditating.
Yeah, he's thinking about all the pain that they're enduring.
He's trying to wish their pain away.
Oh, you can throw.
I almost posted this today and was like,
this is me and Bobby on tour.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can toss.
You can toss.
But the slapping is fine.
You just can't punch.
Okay.
It's genius.
That guy won for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, beautiful.
I would love to see a woman do a female fight.
I don't know.
That's just how women always fight.
That's right.
Oh, that's right.
Have you guys ever actually slapped somebody?
No, punch.
Just only punch.
Slap?
Yeah.
Slap's a weird ring.
I've slapped asses.
No, no.
She means like out of aggression.
Yeah, or like.
Aggressive.
I like it.
Trust me, it's aggressive.
I lick my palm and everything.
Do it right now.
What?
Let me see.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ow.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Do it again.
It's actually like this.
Come on, Bobby.
Yeah.