Name: Steve Aoki's Gay Crabs | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-08-09T19:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Steve Aoki's Gay Crabs | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Steve Aoki's Gay Crabs | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-09. Transcript available.

lizzie win is in the house does anybody ever call you lizzie yeah they do like
because i go by i go
by like dj lizzie liz and they're like what's up you're not a dj i'm not a dj
no what would
you what would she play if she was a dj what do you mean what kind of steve aoki
she only yeah
she is steve aoki oh no you kind of look like yeah you look like steve is your
new nickname
ioki he's in town what's up he does that too when he waves thank you for coming
to the show
in vegas i've seen him do that speaking of great asian moves in vegas i want
you to google that
looks exactly like you know there you are no your name's not liz it's aoki aoki
there you are there
you are hey that headshot can you hook me up with your that photographer that
was pretty cool i got
you okay hey look up look up asian poker player boob falls out this girl named
sashimi that's not
her name that's she goes by her name not sashimi her name is sashimi look click
on it what is her
name what's her name click on the one of the links and see one of her boobs
fell out during the poke
during the is her last name spring roll i mean sashimi look at her okay that's
not the photo i have
a big pair but look it says wardrobe malfunction one of her boobs fell out of
her shirt during the poker
game but what does it say her name is sashimi no sashimi oh shashi aren't you
asian i am what
kind did we get she's not real this is not a good one you have asian parents
were you adopted i have
asian parents both of them yes are you sure i was i i have two asian parents i
was raised by an asian
grandmother so you should be really up to date super asian this is this is like
when you do a software
update on your computer it's like you should be really this should be we should
be running at the
highest that's it right there okay so one of her tits just fell out at the
poker table oh dude i thought
you said i thought you meant huh it fell off her body and so i'm like what the
fuck because i thought
she had like a you know implant and it came out what did it come oh it just
came out no but look though
and this guy this poor bastard yeah look at this idiot trying so hard to not
look at her poker face
yeah poker face poke her face yeah pretty good yeah pretty good fancy look at
that sashimi raised to
three thousand yeah and five thousand per tit yeah pretty incredible well um it's
a good move how do you
know this huh the world series of poker is going on right now you watch this no
but it just made the
news oh it did so a friend told me about it he was like did you see this video
on the internet
because i thought maybe you were a fan of sashimi i do like sashimi yeah i love
it i like nigiri
just as much nigiri's pretty good nigiri got kicked out of the tournament
quickly nigiri yeah sashimi's
gonna last way longer than nigiri is have you ever seen the card uh trickery of
omakase do you know
do you know him you don't know what's coming that's the best part about it all
right we'll be right
back after sushi jokes should we do some sushi jokes but i want to say
something about why do they say to
you uh what does that mean a shamase when you walk into a sushi joint they go
shamase they think that
that's your name they think my name is ishama yeah because i've never heard
that before yes you have
nah yeah they're saying they think your name is just time to say then why do i
say it back that'd be
like they think that you're like turetzi or i don't know wow yeah yeah that's
like them going and like
andrew yeah that's yeah that's what they think he shot my say what does it mean
you guys know you
know what that is they did it on curb your enthusiasm an episode i don't know
what it means but um
probably can we talk about eel sauce what about it why do they even use it it's
for white people whites don't like
i don't like well i guess dude i'm not white you can't go to japan and go hey
can i have an eel sauce
no i would never do that yeah yeah i'm just saying i don't know but what i'm
saying is is that
i don't know anybody likes it right and yet it's like if you get a um crispy
rice with tuna yeah you
have to say um does that come with eel sauce and they oh yeah yeah of course
yeah no then get it off
and they're like why not because no one you know why they give it to us because
they don't eat it
over there they ship it to america and they're like maybe eat here yeah they
think we're gonna
eat is it eel it's eel what is eel sauce you know what let's guess before we
look if they change
like they made um i think it's sunshine cream if it was sunshine cream i would
eat it but the eel sauce
i think it's eel tears thickened and sweetened soy sauce is perfect for dipping
it's also unagi sauce
yeah so it's thickened sweet sauce by using what it doesn't have any eel
products no oh it's like
panda express oh you know you go to pan express can i have the panda and they
don't have it because
it's just the name it's just sake mirin sugar yeah it's a lie it does no it
feels like there's eel in
there no there's no eel no i don't think so why do they call it eel sauce i
think it's the i used to
work at a pokey place and they always you know they always dress it dress the
eel in that sauce
like they always dress the eel in that sauce yeah it's like associating and so
they're like eel sauce
let's say mistake sauce yeah there you go i don't like this at all yeah
whatever's going on up in that
booth right today i don't don't stop looking at each other it's like saying meerkat
gravy yeah what's in
this i'm just craving i like gravy i like meerkat i don't like meerkat yeah
yeah get it out of here
get it just change the name what's the what's the thing you won't eat at a
sushi place refuse
you know like something that i get all the time but every time i eat it it
my stomach up and i i always go why did you get that uni no what soft shell
crap oh
dude i do not like soft shell crab yeah and then the it's is it that soft too
because the fucking shit gets in between your teeth two days later you have oh
there's the skin of the
soft shell oh look at that yeah there's sebastian there's little sebastian
right listen well first of
all as a crab grow thicker skin yeah come on man what kind of what were you
walking around with no skin
i'm just gonna be honest you grow like the regular crowds of armor but they're
just you know what they
are are they the case yeah they are that's soft shells are they the case hey
get out of here hey get
out of here yeah yeah maybe the gay crabs back back up get out of here yeah
yeah you can eat me now
is there a trans is there a trans crab that was soft shell but i went hard
shell there i refuse to
go there did it did he go soft shelf to hard shell is there trans crabs oh yeah
trans crabs lives matter
did he go to soft shell to hard shell or hard shell i think soft shell the hard
shell i think that you
could do both but if you're soft shell right you can go to the surgeon and just
add add layers add
layers and then as a you know i mean a regular crab hard shell crab don't say
regular you as a hard
shell crab regular oh hard what is what is a hard shell hard shell as a hard
shell um that i think
that's a painful operation take off the skin right well you're also removing or
you could tuck you could
tuck some of the you could tuck some of the hardness you don't have to pull it
off right it's a choice
can i ask you another question please do they have penises and vaginas do crabs
have penises and vaginas
i know i every time i know i think the reason why this podcast is so low yeah
is because of me
what are you talking about i always go because these are things that i question
in my own mind
this is a fine thought this is a yeah first of all this is science and biology
science right now
oh my gosh we like pulled up a study no you can't pull up a study you got to
pull up something
a little bit simpler than that aoki by the way pubic lice popped up i knew a
guy in college that had
pubic lice what is it it's lice in your pubes you know what lice is like little
i know what lice is
and he got pubic lice but why they call it pubic i mean he's just a traveler no
yeah the lice just
went from the head to the pubic you're gonna change his name he's just like a
magellan that's so funny
he's a traveler what about butt hair lice exactly my point is it's all life don't
discriminate all
lice lives matter yeah that's what i'm saying the lice right usually resides on
one's head and if they're
a voyager and they they're like the lower croft of you know you know what it is
what is it they're
jewish lice because they like the curly hair they're sick of this hair they go
let's get curly and then
they go down there and they go this is our land right and they build a wall
like little crabs and
warts or whatever this is our land it's our holy land and there is a small
population of lice they're
not there's there's only a small percentage left yeah and then the little crabs
right are in the
fucking the strip yeah they're in the strip which is the taint right right
right right we don't be
want to be at the strip