Name: A Cop Vomits In Andrew Santino's What?? | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-08-26T16:00:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Cop Vomits In Andrew Santino's What?? | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Cop Vomits In Andrew Santino's What?? | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-26. Transcript available.

a cop threw up in my uber you heard what i just said you were driving uber we
went out that night
we took an uber we went out with like a local indiana state trooper who was
friends with another
one of o'connor's buddies and this off-duty cop partied so hard he threw up in
the uber that i
yeah because we shared an uber and he said he goes can i take it back to the
to the hotel i said yeah just i'll just add the stop and you can just take my uber
then the next morning i wake up with like a 750 charge on my uber account and i
was like
what the where did this guy go he drive to chicago and then i go on my thing
and it says they don't
even say throw up they say like uh a damn internal damage to the vehicle or
something so you don't
it could have been the other hole other end no i asked okay i texted and i was
like hey man did you
guys fucking what'd you guys do in the back of that car and he goes oh dude i'll
venmo you i'm so sorry
how much he's like the entire back seat was coated and throw up yeah i wish i
could do that with you
man i know i mean why is it when i get drunk it doesn't we don't have that
thing because yours
is toxic and you get poop all over the place i know but my point is is that
well that's enough
you guys always follow me around to see if i'm gonna be okay or whatever yeah
because you're insane
because when you got drunk in mexico you were up to absolutely no good why
because i asked for a
drink at the fucking restaurant yeah insane no because when you did get drunk
you you recluse to your
room and we couldn't find you to get a hold of you you turn off your phone you
drink by yourself you take
pills you throw up you poop everywhere and then you wake up at 5 p.m the next
day and i'd rather
you wake up at 5 p.m the next day without booze and drugs in your body rock on
dude no no no rock
off rock off rock off rock off no no no rock and sit rock and sit yeah i don't
know how to do it like
that you just don't have that that trigger yeah you don't know how to fucking
turn one of the machines
off when the other machine goes on you know who else is like that who carlos
yeah you are i know
guys dude it's helped me get so like really stay in watching you on the bus
watching you i go oh
yeah that's why i don't drink that one night macone showed me the video footage
of us in nashville
when he was rolling around on the floor of the bus oh yeah it was insane it's
insane i was under
tremendous stress you were rubbing your back on the floor of the bus laughing
like you were itching like
a bear and the things you would say huh i'm not going to repeat what you would
say i'll say some
of it no you would say things i'm like oh that's the most racist thing i've
ever had it was no comedy
or nothing it was like whatever the word i felt comfortable with my friends i
that's really and i
think i was under a lot of stress at the beginning of the tour right yeah more
than usual victim victim
i'm not playing the victim i'm saying i had fun with my friend you did but are
you an alcoholic
let me ask i i think i'm yes that i'm very much like an addict who right yeah i
don't think you're
an alcoholic i think you're an addict across the board because i don't think
you need alcohol to
function every day but i do think that you will take anything and any
opportunity to get up
yeah to like do we need to intervene not yet when not yet he said i've tried
well you just yell it's
time yeah well that's that's i mean that's how i do it it's time it's out of
control i was under
stress on tour you know what happened to me do you think if we tried to
actually get you real help you
would want to go no okay he's not ready i can tell yeah because you gotta want
to do it how do you get
there i don't know yeah but what what let me say what what got you there when
you when i first met
you you were sober yeah yeah what happened before that to get you there oh gosh
as i i went to rehab
and i relapsed after and i was like i can't i i was too young it was like
destroying my life when i
met you you were using again no i was sober no you were sober when we first met
yes exactly and then
you started using pretty quickly yeah yeah yeah and it's been a long time yeah
after divorce and all
that i was like it well divorce is going to make you relapse yeah i imagine
going through a divorce
makes you relapse i think me and colella's break breakup was yeah i think that
was really hard for
yeah yeah that was tough your dad died that was a big one yeah yeah i wanted i
want to talk to you
guys about the racial inequality of sleep finally black americans aren't
sleeping as well as whites and
here's and here's why that's a public health problem and what what can be done
to fix it said the
atlantic this is where we are now in society that we're blaming racial
inequality on not getting
good sleep you know who doesn't get good sleep everybody i know i haven't slept
in years i can't
sleep at all i've been having a hard time i can't sleep me either i can't sleep
at all you know when
you meet someone that can sleep well you're almost suspect of them when they're
like oh dude i'm
getting great sleep and you're like what's going on you have no nothing going
on you how could you
get really good so you know who gets good sleep at night who pete yeah he gets
good sleep i think
andreas does too no andreas definitely doesn't he doesn't when we met him he
had a full head of hair oh that's
right he doesn't sleep at all and now he's got a baby he's definitely not
sleeping pete when he has
his kids he doesn't pay attention his beautiful wife does all that that's right
sleep through the
cries you know let the wife take care of it how responsible of a father are you
pete how involved
are you truly oh honestly yeah it is sunday and not a lot not a lot yeah it's
sunday he's out
fucking i'm here was your when your wife when your wife would um pump would you
like would you help
organize that for her and like you know rub her feet while she was pumping so
it made the day
easier or cooked her the meal nothing did you ever clean while she was taking
care of the kids no
nothing pete let me ask you something when it's good night what time is the
night time well one
time is the sleepy time i usually go to bed around 11. okay so when it's sleepy
time you take a shower
first no i'm a morning shower okay good so you you lay in bed you say good
night sweetie
now give me give me the wait how long does it take from good night sweetie to
you going to bed
physically sleeping he's saying like an hour it takes an hour takes so because
i usually go on my
phone i stay awake right but then i sleep good yeah when i lay in bed it's a
four hour drama at least
yeah yeah it's a flight it's a flight to new york it's a flight to new york
yeah that's how i feel
yeah there's like a lot of suffering going on sleeping is like it is when i
think about trying to get to
sleep at night i think this is a journey it i'm doing ayahuasca almost every
night in bed trying
to get to sleep it's impossible yeah but in the middle of the day now i'm able
to take a nap
once in a while which i never used to be able to do yeah i've been taking nappy
now but now i'll
play with the dog on the couch until i take a little nappy poo and that's
supplemented my lack
of sleep at night but i can't do it do you eat in bed how many people say do i
yeah you know me
so well yeah i don't eat in bed i don't even eat in my car yeah yeah do you eat
in your car carlos
you eat in your car my car pete you do i never eat my car yeah i can't eat in
the car no i i want
i want to eat when i get to a location where i can eat have you eaten anything
a sandwich in bed
well my last place i did for sure because i didn't like the common areas
yeah she had that you had to yeah that was her place we lived in the bed yeah
we'd eat all meals
in the bed but but now would you eat in your bed now in your new place a snack
i'll eat a string
cheese in the bed no no no no that's not yeah yeah i'm talking about something
that chicken okay thank
god would you eat how about this let's go through would you eat like if you had
a couple slices of
pizza would you sit in bed and eat those no no so that's because spill factor
grease factor oh god no
pizza no carlos 100 would look at his smile 100 in my car i would for sure no
not in bed
what's your limit of eating in bed what would you eat in bed that that you know
that i would be like
that's insane you wouldn't like that i've eaten cereal in bed that's oh that's
why are you eating
cereal in bed like oat milk dripping oh that's disgusting he's the kind of guy
that brings the oat
milk with into the room and pours it in a hundred percent and you know what he
does by the way
yeah when he's done eating the cereal he i do eat in bed by the way what do you
eat
pussy baby what's up bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing
yeah no uh
when you eat the cereal i know carlos he'll eat it right and then the little
bit of milk that's
left over at the bottom he'll put it on his bedside table and it'll it'll stay
there for weeks
and weeks he doesn't take that bowl back to the kitchen i do i take the bowl
back at night
like at 11 o'clock or something no you don't the next day the next day the next
morning
i've done the next morning before oh god